your Trailer Park attitude is probably not helping

• I think I'm a crazy neighbor magnet - need advice - see message
  • Your Neighbor is too MUCH!!! - Hmmm
  • neighbor - marilyn
  • You have a few choices - - mellee
  • your Trailer Park attitude is probably not helping - - no message
  • try a gentler approach with them, try watching the kid, even puppy sit, it may make things better - what you're doing now is not wrking. NM
    • My thoughts on your situation... - sm
      • about the comment - need advice - see message

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I guess I am getting hormonal but sometimes my beloved family gets to me.  I have a cousin that had a baby about a year ago and she doesn’t want her child around my children because they “go to daycare and she does not want them getting her child sick.”  Okay, if that is the way she wants it then that is the way she can have it so I don’t go to her house.   Well, she calls and says she has something for my child who is a 3 months older than her child asked if I could drop by and pick it up.  I said I could but I had my 5 yo with me, my  little one was with her granny.  She said that’s okay just come get it so I go over there and we visit for a while.  My 5 yo child was interested in looking at her baby cousin says “don’t touch her, don’t go around her because you go to daycare.”  I told her well, she has had a bath.  (This was when her baby was about 4 months old.)  She said I don’t want your kids getting mine sick.    Well her child is now 1 year old and it has had ear infections, stomach bug, just about everything that goes around and she was telling me about it, I told her well my little one was sick last week but she got over it already.  She says “well your kids are going to get sick, they go to daycare. I have to protect my child."   She says my 5 yo is too rough with my 16 mo.  She does get rough but if you call her down she stops and she has mellowed since dd was first born.  She says my 5 yo was too wild.  Actually she is not.  I have had her in daycare and I this year she started pre-K and I have yet to have anyone say that she was a discipline problem.  I asked the daycare provider even and she said she doesn’t have any problems with her, just the typical 5 yo stuff. 

Another thing, as worried as she is about her baby getting sick….the other day I go over to her house because she said she had sold my piano (with permission, her mother was buying her a dining table and she needed more room)  and the buyers had left the check with her.  She had clothes stacked up on all her furniture, dried food on the baby’s highchair, papers scattered everywhere, diapers falling out of the trash can, dried food on the baby’s walker and bouncy seat.   

I think those daycare comments bit her in the butt though.  One day, after I dropped my little one off, the director of the daycare asked me if I had seen cousin’s baby lately.  I told her no that I don’t go around her because she said my kids are germy and go to daycare.  The director stepped back and said “oh bull”   I swear did not know that later that day my cousin was going to apply for a job there so her kid could stay for free but the daycare director turned her down.   My cousin told that she went over there to look for a job.  I did not tell her about the conversation I had with the director earlier that day. 

I usually like my cousin but it just seems that since she had this baby she seems to think her stuff doesn’t stink. 

Big deal, so you could do it. Kids need more than beans and potatos on the plate! Calm down sweetie, that's what assistance is for; don't begrudge others who have had to resort to it. It takes a lot more courage to ask for help than to try to scrape by on your own.

I've never been to a dog park....Sounds like Cedric had a great time.  Thanks for sharing the trail pic with you and the kids...that was precious, so peaceful....looks kinda like my backyard (a wilderness preserve).

You're a great dog mommy!... Cat

Your post just reminded me of how my mother used to take me to the Vanderbilt Mansion and FDR's home both in Hyde Park, NY ALL THE TIME when I was growing up.  I did a couple of book reports on FDR too. 

I didn't care for the golden-looking Vanderbilt Mansion (hey, I was a kid...*lol*) but I loved FDR's home.  I remember the leash of Fala (his dog) laying across his bed...I had to be 6 to 14 years old when these trips occurred.  Mother also then took me to the Catskill Game Farm where we fed animals and I don't think many were caged, or my memory is failing on that. 

Just brought back my past and where I grew up......  Thanks for that!! 

And now I'm turning on my TIVO'd Anderson Cooper *grins*....for those who might not  know, Gloria Vanderbilt is Anderson's Mom.....

I use an automatic lighter, but the thing stinks. It's just a cheapie thing, maybe they all are. Are there any better lighters out there? I'm not taking Sharper Image, but just something better you might use to light candles, start a fire or what not?

I'm sure I sound stupid.  I'm not exactly Miss Handyperson.  If anyone has any ideas, I would appreciate it.  Or should I just go to Home Depot and try to find someone (which is the problem with that place) to help.

This has to be the dumbest question asked all day on this board, I know. 

let to be held. 

When my sister had her first baby, she became overwhelmed quickly. You sound similar to how she was feeling.  So my mom and I started helping her out here and there, going over and staying with my nephew so she could leave the house for a couple hours, even if it was to grocery shop or run errands, just so she could get out alone.  Or we'd go get him and take him to our house for a couple hours, with instructions to her to TAKE A NAP or read a book, or something relaxing.  If you have family or friends willing to help out, take them up on it.  They wouldn't volunteer if they didn't want to do it.  

My sister's husband was helping out too, but he worked a lot of hours, 6 days a week.  In my sister's case, she was very independent and used to doing what she wanted when she wanted before the baby and I think that was part of what overwhelmed her, the feeling that she couldn't just pick up her purse and go somewhere as easily as before.  Good luck.  This will pass, don't be so hard on yourself.

When my sister had her first baby, she became overwhelmed quickly. You sound similar to how she was feeling.  So my mom and I started helping her out here and there, going over and staying with my nephew so she could leave the house for a couple hours, even if it was to grocery shop or run errands, just so she could get out alone.  Or we'd go get him and take him to our house for a couple hours, with instructions to her to TAKE A NAP or read a book, or something relaxing.  If you have family or friends willing to help out, take them up on it.  They wouldn't volunteer if they didn't want to do it.  

My sister's husband was helping out too, but he worked a lot of hours, 6 days a week.  In my sister's case, she was very independent and used to doing what she wanted when she wanted before the baby and I think that was part of what overwhelmed her, the feeling that she couldn't just pick up her purse and go somewhere as easily as before.  Good luck.  This will pass, don't be so hard on yourself.

When my sister had her first baby, she became overwhelmed quickly. You sound similar to how she was feeling.  So my mom and I started helping her out here and there, going over and staying with my nephew so she could leave the house for a couple hours, even if it was to grocery shop or run errands, just so she could get out alone.  Or we'd go get him and take him to our house for a couple hours, with instructions to her to TAKE A NAP or read a book, or something relaxing.  If you have family or friends willing to help out, take them up on it.  They wouldn't volunteer if they didn't want to do it.  

My sister's husband was helping out too, but he worked a lot of hours, 6 days a week.  In my sister's case, she was very independent and used to doing what she wanted when she wanted before the baby and I think that was part of what overwhelmed her, the feeling that she couldn't just pick up her purse and go somewhere as easily as before.  Good luck.  This will pass, don't be so hard on yourself.

Link Below.

Like the previous poster, as a dog lover, I am appalled that they would use this animal.  Are you positive the dog even had surgery and if so, what kind just out of curiosity.  Are you sure your money went to that.  I also find it odd that the dog would still be in so much pain several months later.  Are you sure the dude is not taking the meds himself?  It happens.  Desparate times call for desparate measures.  I would just explain to her either on the phone, email or write her that while you value your friendship with her, you feel that you have gone beyond the call of friendship here and that you can not longer provide funding for the dog's care (or her son's drug habit).  Technically, by not taking care of his responsibilities himself this is allowing him to take what money he should be using on the dog and spend this on drugs.  Therefore, yes, making you an enabler as well.  Just like they do on the show "Intervention".  You have to quit giving in.  Tell her that if she is not able to care for the dog that you will be glad to find or help her find a home for it, but that you no longer can afford financially and consciously to keep sending money.  Just validate your friendship.  If she is a true friend she will understand this.  She might need more encouragement to break away from enabling him.  It is hard to do.  Trust me I have siblings that are addicted and we have had to just cut them off, especially after loosing another sibling only 5mos. earlier for same reason.  This is one of those times "when helping harms".  Attached is a great site to give you a little reassurance.  Might send this to her as well.  Good luck.  Try to get the dog out if you can, that may be impossible though.  If you think that without your care it is being abused, please report it to thier local animal society or animal control.  This can be done anonymously.