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you did the right thing staying by the child...sm

Posted By: cat on 2008-02-18
In Reply to: Would you have said anything about this child? - Lisa

and addressing the parent...I did worse than that...took the child, brought him to the front of the store and called out "lost parent alert"...Boy, that man was upset! 


It's a shame that there were so many "nm" people out there replying to your post.    Cat 




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Okay, I was staying out of this until now

Philly Gal, people like you make me sick.  You are working for the same reason the rest of us are, to make a living, regardless of what the money is used for.  I've worked with women like you my whole life who act like they're working just to give themselves something to do.  Face it "Honey," you have bills like the rest of us and if you didn't work, your perfect little life would not be nearly as wonderful.


My SO is staying here a while
before moving in permanently.  The last time he was here, he always left his cell phone around - which I never checked and did not even think to do so.  I heard him talking a minute or two while I was in the shower today.  Then he went out for a walk but returned a short time later because it was too hot - he loves the hot weather.  I have noticed that he carries that cell phone around as though it is attached to him - takes it to the shower, etc.  Am I being paranoid?  Any input would be appreciated!!
Then WHY are you staying? NM
b
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
How is them staying together better for the children?
It would have been best for the children if these too goofs had used effective birth control and not brought innocent people into the mix, but since they did the best thing for those kids is to get K-Fed out of their lives as much as possible and hopefully Britney has the sense to hire a good nanny because she's no prize either.

I say mandatory sterilization is a great idea for these two clueless, selfish, immature, irresponsible people who had no business reproducing.
My secret is staying out of the sun

and wearing a hat or slathering on a crapload of sunscreen!  I got totally fried when I worked for a nursery (plants) back in the early 1990's and my ears burnt so bad they they actually got a tad deformed around the edges!  I love outdoors time but I'll be darned if the sun is gonna be the cause of my demise! 


Besides, I'm a superfreak when it comes to medical stuff.  I love researching all sorts of medical crap and that nasty IUD just stuck in my head from my days in Anatomy and Physiology 101. 


I also have a fetish for bugs too and someday, before I die, I'd love to play entomologist or something queer like that.   


 


 


But- she is still questiong about staying?
What is the question? He was an older guy trying to molest children- what question does she have? None that I can see.
What's your trick for staying awake? (sm)
I don't sleep well at night, even with taking a pill, and during the day lately I'm finding it harder and harder to say awake.  I've had 2 caffeinated beverages but that's not helping.  Smacking my face isn't helping. It's killing my line count.  Right now I have a clothes pin on my earlobe causing just enough pain to keep me momentarily alert, but I don't expect this to last.  Any suggestions?
How about staying overnight at somebody's house
or even in a hotel, and not being able to figure out the shower controls. I don't know why a shower fixture designer would be so mean as to hide basic controls, but one design that has stumped me turned out to be a little ring that appeared to be a nonmoving part of the faucet, that had to be pulled upward. If you couldn't find it, you couldn't get the water to go from the lower faucet up to the showerhead. Furthermore, all the control it gave you was on or off, instead of being able to control water pressure.

Sheez, why the secret? It's not as if it is even an attractive design!
Trouble staying awake - what do you do?? (nm)
x
...staying when there's NO love and no respect for YOU. nm
s
That was my thought, too. And have her eat well, staying away from junk
s
Sometimes staying is worse for the kids
I was in a similar situation for a long time.  Our home became almost never peaceful due to their father's irrationality.  It was an emotionally unsafe place for our 2 daughters.  I'm not saying divorce is easy or always the answer, but in our case, we have had a friendly one, we are both still totally committed to co-parenting our children and everyone gets along so much better with him under another roof.  My kids were 12 and 10 at the time (13 and 15 now), and we have been able to talk freely about all the issues and no one, not even my ex at this point, is happier than we ever were when we were living together.  My daughters are above-average to excellent students in school, excel in music and sports and have the best relationship with both me and their dad that they have ever had.  Sometimes you just got to look at a bigger picture about what is truly best for them, and then work at making sure their adjustment is paramount whether you decide to stay or decide to go.  But having said that, be sure you do what is ultimately best for you too, I stayed as long as I did only because I let others try to tell me all the pat things, divorce is wrong, divorce is harmful to them, yadayadayada.  Bottom line, if you are constantly unhappy, so will your kids be.  Part of the reason my kids are so cool with the divorce is that they can now see me (and their father) happy.  He has found a new partner, I haven't, but my happiness is not dependent on that.  I go out some, but don't bring men around them to try to make a new daddy for them or anything like that.  You have to decide what is right for you and for them, no matter really what anyone says.  Once you have completely made that decision for yourself, you can make the rest fall into place.  Best wishes to you!
I need help staying awake. I'm so sleepy. Any suggestions?

I go through spells like this where I just can't keep my eyes open and today is one of them.  I find myself going to grab something to eat to help, but that really doesn't help with the weight any.


I desperately need to wake up.  My workday is only half over.  Any ideas?


Although I disagree with you staying, I admire your spirit :) nm
x
Dancing With the Stars. I wanted to see who else was staying, but they (SM)
kept fooling around and I would go from one channel to another watching something else, then back again.  The commercials were over, and I dashed back into the room with the pan, sat down in my chair and without thinking laid the hot pan down beside me, realized what I had just done, but too late!  They didn't even announce the next couple to stay then anyway!  I watch the show from time to time, at least parts of it, but never got that into it, just wanted to know who would be eliminated last night. After the carpet deal I didn't care and still don't know! 
Staying at home and sleeping it in. Have to be at work at
4:30 a.m. on New Year's Day.
You know, it's kinda quiet on this side so would appreciate you staying with whatever
cat fight you might be in on the other pages.
they stated half was staying here in US/hafl to Africa (nm)
x
Yes!! I get extremely bored and have trouble staying focused on typing. sm
Some days I am so bored I dont know how I am going to get through the day!!
Getting there early and staying late, time spent on phoning
il
Staying at home and raising us kids worked for my mother
Hmm. It should be okay with me right? Oh, wait, that puts me in the welfare line which you think everyone takes advantage of.

You don't live in your mother's time. I wish you did, because the internet didn't exist then.
Oh Wow. Staying in downtown Atlanta in a historic hotel. This place is haunted. No one

told me this, I am a Christian and I feel this heavy spirit following me everywhere I go! How crazy is that? I believe there is something here at this place. It is a beautiful place, but definitely something spiritual going on here. This was the place where they had some Gone With The Wind ball many years ago. Very strange.


 


We are here visiting and going to the zoo, children's museum, and aqauarium this week. Wow. I have the chills right now! night night


 



Anyone have plans for the Superbowl? Staying home, going to friends, making food,

Happiness is a heart thing; pleasure is a head thing.nm

Yes, with my second child.
He is now 13 and has never had any problems. Just pray, God will work it all out for you and I will keep you in my prayers also.
Tell me a little about your child, please
Thanks.
Thank God. Having your child taken would be the
.
As a child...
I never sucked my thumb and never had a pacifier. I had crowding of teeth as an adult because of wisdom teeth pushing on them. It really is the size/shape of your mouth/palate that determines crooked teeth, and that is determined by genetics.
More than one child
We were planning on only having one child, but 10 years later (she's almost 4 now) we did have a second one which I of course don't regret for a minute. The only thing I can say is don't listen to those that say you have to have a second child. That's all I heard for years. How can yo just have one, and on and on. It's nobody's business but you and your husband.
Yes, have gone since I was a child.
My kids also go, ages 20, 17 and 15.   It fills my spiritual tank for the week and our pastor is so wonderful and uplifting and we have a fabulous congregation. I don't feel right if I miss a week.
No H is an only child LOL.
That is probably what the problem is too.  No other children to dote on. 
A dog is not a child and has different
needs from a child. But even a child is put in a bassinet to sleep in when they are small to control how much they roll around. Then later they are put in a crib. Is that a cage for you too? Or do you put the child on a full-size mattress and hope for the best? No, you carefully listen to all the rules about safe mattresses for infants and how soon pillows can be used and what position is safest for an infant.

For dogs, you need to get to know them before you give them free reign of the house. Otherwise they might get into something we didn't think of to put up and die. This dog is in the age range of 12-18 months. We can already tell he is inquisitive. We don't know how much time he has spent in a house because he was abandoned at the shelter. We will observe him and train him and grant him more freedoms as he proves himself ready.

Dogs in the wild use dens. You are misinformed, probably by PETA folks who would have you release your Yorkshire terrier to the wild to fend for itself if they had their druthers.
I was 29, he's my only child
before I had him I had two miscarriages in the same year (when I was 28). He is almost 13. I'm in downstate NY and at his school school (it's a Catholic school) many of his classmates' parents are at least as old as I am. Hope to get married soon but probably too late for another..
of course he is my child
I have his age wrong though. He is 31. How on earth can I or should I stop him from stating his own opinion? It is certainly not unusual for an 18-year-old male to use the word, even when talking about his evil GM. He was 18 when dear G'ma died. I'm telling you, the woman was evil, evil, evil!!!! Even my ex-DH (is there such a thing) didn't like her. The only reason my older son liked her was because he was the first grandchild and she worshipped him. When my SIL had 2 kids, they were okay for a while, then she didn't want to mess with them either. She liked dogs and cats more than people. And, by the way, I am really relating to all of you out there who go to your MIL's for all the holidays and not your mom's. I did that also, because I dearly loved my FIL and my SIL, BIL, etc. If I had it to do over again, I think I would have shared a little more. My mom is only 70, but no one is promised tomorrow. We do all holidays together now.
Right - I don't think they should take the child because (sm)
no matter what, children love their parents and would be traumatized to be taken away from them, so unless they are being terribly mistreated, I don't think they should ever be taken. Children who go thru life in foster homes are rarely ever happy. But Social Services could go in and help them get things cleaned up if that is why. It may not be, but in my case that was the problem. I eventually at about age 11 or 12 went out and bought bug spray and sprayed my hair and brushes and sprayed my PILLOW regularly to keep the bugs away. I am sure that was horrible for my health but I was desperate.
Because he's still YOUR CHILD, and he still needs to know he is welcome. nm
x
child with SVT. sm
Hi.  My 16-year-old son is suspicious for SVT.  Anyone else experience this?  I had made an appointment for March, and now the doc is calling me and wants to see my son next week.  He has already had an echo and an event monitor.  Don't know if I should be freaked out or not. 
Yes, first child....nm
xx
Would you have said anything about this child?
I was at a very big market (international) this morning and as I exited the lunch room to retrieve my cart, saw a very young child alone in a cart with no one around. I stood there not moving for several minutes wondering where a parent might be. I could not even see a person in front or back of him that seemed to be paying attention to this child (probably around 3 or 4 years of age). The serving line in front does have glass so I could see the people buying their lunches. Finally I noticed a man that was looking around frequently at the child and finally he got through the line and came and picked the child up. I approached him to say how it is so easy for a person to snatch his child (John Walsh's on AMW had his young child snatched and killed in similar, only taking a second) and this man looked annoyed and said thank you for your thoughts and hurried away. Clearly child endangerment here but would you have said anything or just let it go?
How do you know it was actually his child?
That's what's scary.
I have a child like this...

(This turned out long.  Please stick with me.)


Like your son, it started in infancy.  He could throw a fit that could go on for 30 minutes.  If it was related to going to sleep, he would cry for hours no matter what I tried.  (Yes, i did have him ruled out for medical causes.)  He just could not calm himself down and he wanted what he wanted when he wanted it.  It started to feel like a war zone and the other kids were not getting the attention they needed because I felt like I had to deal with his bad behavior all the time.


When he was very young (infancy to about 3 years old), I would let him throw his fits and try to ignore them.  After about 30 minutes, I picked him up and rocked him and he always seemed to be relieved and would start to calm down.  I did not give into his demands.  It just was a way for him to know that I loved him even when he acted bad.


But you know what... A few months ago (he is 5 now), he was acting up yet again and I tried to talk to him.  I told him that I knew he was a good boy and that he was just having a hard time with his anger.  He was totally blown away that I thought he was a "good boy."  In his head, he thought he was bad.  This was an eye opener for me.


Because I had my own issues with frustration, I decided to work on me first.  I was sick of the war zone.  That is still a work in progress, but I feel a lot more calm when dealing with him now.


I explain things to him up front.  If we are going to a store, I tell him that I expect him to stand still by me.  If he wants to look at something, he can ask me, etc.  Then I ask him what he thinks the consequence will be if he does not mind.  Sometimes he answers, sometimes not.  Then, I tell him exactly what will happen.  No favorite TV channel or no playing with a favorite toy, something like that.  Just so he knew exactly what would happen if he makes certain CHOICES.  I also don't argue.  It only gets me wound up.  I put the onus back on him.  Counting 1...2...3 gives him a warning to change his behavior or deal with consequences.


I also communicate a lot about other's people reactions to when he "acts good" and "acts bad."  How the things that happen to him are often influenced by his CHOICES.   "Other children may not want to play with someone who ...only wants their way ... does not share ... hits."  "If you share your toy, your friend probably want to share his toys with you."


I praise him when I notice he has done something "good", like brushing his teeth without being reminded.  I tell how much I appreciate it (Because I do.  When you have 3 kids, its a really help when they can do something for themselves.) Someone knowledgeable told me the ratio of praise to discipline is 4:1.  I doubt that I hit that ratio, but I do look for things my kids do right.


None of this is easy for me.  I feel like I am talking myself blue in the face.  I am naturally quiet and not always willing to communicate verbally.  I'm praying the more I communicate now, then eventually I won't have to talk so much later.  Or at least, we can talk about more pleasant things.


I will say though that my son is starting to understand that he will not always get his way, and if he cooperates with me, I am willing to cooperate with him.  There has been good improvement since I started with this in April.


from a child
My son used to say mazagine and hangaburger instead of magazine and hamburger when he was about 3. I loved that. Not common to most people but it was common to him. :)
If this was MY child??? sm
I would be working my way up the food chain at that school. Who in the he!! at that school thinks they know what my child needs or doesn't need? The last I knew, raising children is up to the parents; not the school, not the state, and CERTAINLY NOT A LESBIAN TEACHER!! I was so upset when I just READ the story that it was all I could do to stop myself from sitting down and writing a letter to the school and giving them a piece of my mind.

To any and all parents in that school district...the threat of recall is an extremely potent weapon. Use it!!
I only have one child, a son..sm
so that helps. I usually spend about $300 on my son, but this year I have spent $400 already on a playstation 3 he has wanted ever since they came out last year. I can't just give him that so I have to buy him some other little things to open. My mom and mother-in-law and sister-in-law are going to buy playstation 3 games because after spending $400 on it I can't buy the games too, which are about $60 each. So I still have to buy some small things for him so I will probably spend about $500 on my son this year. The most I have ever spent on him and he is 10. Like I said it is usually no more than $300. I try to spend no more than $100 on my husband, but this year I know he has said how he would love to have an ipod. So I am going to buy one for about $150. I have my dad to buy for and mom. I know I will probably spend about $50 on my mom. My dad I am not sure yet. In-laws are usually about $20-25 each. My sister about $25. My brother in law about $20. My 2 nephews about $20 each. I also have a niece I will spend about $20-30 on. I try to spend a little more on my niece because my sister in law spends a lot on my son. So you see I have a lot of people to buy for. I don't even know how much that is all together but it ain't cheap. And the people I buy for I have to cause they do for us.
Your child isn't doing bad if he AM
is receiving dental care and has a Wii already.  Why are you hell-bent on making money off a fluke?  You certainly aren't setting an example your child should follow by selling it and I hope they DON'T give a gift receipt. 
How old is your child?
x
We did that as a child sm
I hate to "date" myself but we were a struggling large family and my Dad went across the street and asked a guy if he could rent his empty lot to grow some vegetables, etc. Not only was it fun but we had tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, etc., and it was great. The only negative thing I remember about it was the tomato cut worms, ugly little suckers! I think it's a fun thing to do and a good lesson for the family (and healthy). Be sure the soil is "good" though. You can have it tested for pH at any college lab (I think). Throw in some flowers, that would be cool. I am going to do some big sunflowers this year, I used to hate them but I think we need them and you can bake, salt and eat the seeds. Have fun!!!
Oh it seems the child did not have it when ...sm
they entered the US or at least showed no symptoms. So my mistake. They had no way of knowing the child had it. Poor kid.
I know this and I am sorry your child - sm
and your family had such a horrible experience. In any way, shape or form it is a horrible thing for any family to go through especially when your child suffers and does not make it through. I know not all kids or adults have an easy time, I am not a total dolt though I am sure you think I am, fine. Some get lucky and it does not affect them as much as others for some strange reason. Jen was on dantinomycin and vincristine, the vincristine was quite nasty and that is what gave her the nausea and make her puke the few times she did. She ate a lot of Zofran though and with that she had a pretty good tolerance to it for some reason, she felt the worst though when the dactinomycin was added in, 7 times. I too find the ped onc very depressing and switched jobs so I did not have to type kids anymore, too upsetting, now I only do adults which I can handle pretty well except for the ones who procratinate to sure fire death sentence. Rant all you want, I have no problem with it. I know this is about this woman's choice, again I think she/boy are wrong, some feel she is right, fine. Agree to disagree.
What do you do when your child gets in trouble?

Spank/Swat   


Time Out   


Natural Consequences (ie, if they won't stop throwing food, then lunch is over, or if they run away while you're out, it's time to go home)   


Re-direction (ie, trying to get your child to focus on something else)   


Other (possibly a combination of methods or something else entirely)