you are comparing apples to oranges

The children's relationship with their divorced parent or extended family is very important and should always be encouraged...unless there are problems the child should not be exposed to (mental illness, drug/alcohol abuse, etc.), but you are saying children should be exposed to the girlfriend or boyfriend of the week just to be part of the life of the absent parent/grandparent.  That is not what anyone here is talking about.

When I got custody of my granddaughter, I had to go through a screening process with the state.  A background check was run on everyone in my home.  If there had been a convicted felon in the home, I would not have been able to get custody of her.  Well, the other grandmom had a habit of going to bars to pick up new boyfriends when she wore out the last one.  At the time I got custody, her current boyfriend had a felony conviction for drug trafficking.  I told her the child could continue to visit her as usual, as long as the convicted felon was not in the home during the visits.  She chose the convicted felon.  So the child lost her other grandmother and continues to mourn that loss, but it was that person's choice.  She chose the boyfriend/felon of the week over her relationship with her granddaughter.  She won't even call the child  - it's been a year.  I tried calling her a couple of times so my GD could at least say hello over the phone, but each time she told me she was "too busy" so we stopped calling.

I will NOT apologize for standing up for the best interest of the child.  It was that grandmother's choice, not mine, not the child's.

I'm sorry any child has to lose their relationship with the grandparent...and I think it was foolish of any parents to go along with grandma for having enough power over them to keep the grandchildren from seeing their grandfather.  Is that what the grandfather or the grandchildren wanted?  What a shame.

• Ex's new girlfriend calling my home - D
  • Thanks for the responses... - D
  • Big deal.... - JJ
    • It's a mother's duty to protect her children - sm
  • My take - my eyes are rolling
  • I could write a book about this, but I'll - try to keep it simple
    • You are wise and a very good person (sm) - single mom x 15 years
      • Only thing I would add is that I would definitely not - nm
        • I've been in the OPs shoes. Conversations over the phone with the ex'es were always no and it - sm
          • Right from the mouths of women scorn - and the child will ultimately suffer.
            • In my case, my children were not happy about having to meet and - sm
              • Actually I am happily married - and have been for quite a long time.
                • funny how things are interpreted, I interpret - happily married as an oxymoron *rofl* - jokin....s
                  • Oxymoron indeed! LOL. Single is definitely best if you can afford it : ) - nm
                    • and even if you can't afford it, still better!!!..nm - sanity being most important........nm
                • you are comparing apples to oranges - SM
            • nobody "wins" in a divorce or haven't you been - conscious long enuf to notice? NM
          • AMEN!!!..................great post..... - been there, done that too........n/m

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to this lady because your just buying things you will use or like another post, if you can't return some of it & need to get rid of it try a yard sale or better yet, if you know somebody that is dire need and can use it would be great,  if it's not causing any family problems, you & your dh aren't fighting because of it, then be glad you can go shop when you want..  this is just a story of someone I know DID have a shopping problem..

but this is about someone I know who had a major HUGE shopping addiction.. I never thought too much about it, but before I started doing MT work, I used to clean houses.. This lady was a good friend, her dh is my cousin, we all used to ride horses together, etc.anyhoo, when I cleaned for her (they lived in a crackerbox house), she had NO room for anything, every time I went to her house to clean, (which was horrible).. there were always bags on top of bags where she had been shopping, outfits on top of outfits for her, her daughter, etc.. shoes coming out the wazoo, all i did basically was tidy up a very very cluttered house, anyhoo.. she blamed it on the small house, I counted one time trying to get clothes in a drawer, decided I would count.. her daughter had 50+ pair of panties.. she was probably in grade school at the time... and then there were ?? bags of new panties never opened.. she got into credit card trouble & they had to mortgage their home$10,000.  the next time it happened they mortgaged their  home $20,000.  the next time, they had to mortgage their home for $40,000.  anyhoo, to make a long story a little shorter, she is sitting in prison, she was the circuit clerk at the courthouse here in our county, so she was the person who took fine money, etc.. when all was said and done, she had stole in excess of $300,000.00, nothing to show for it, her husband has been in & out of the psych ward more than once since this happened, their daughter lives with her cousins, has nothing much to do with her dad at all..  their family was totally destroyed.. .. and I knew her pretty good, but then on the other hand, maybe nobody did..