you're seriously going to let an adult (male?!) spank your teenage daughter?
Posted By: CHOOSE THE OTHER OPTION! n/m on 2007-12-10
In Reply to: Well my daughter didn't have school on Friday - concerned mama MT
nm
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I agree PAMT, I also have a teenage daughter
as well as 5 teenage nieces and that is why I asked the poster to elaborate on her post. See mine below.
Maybe you can try adult conditioner. My daughter SM
has thick curly hair. I would wash it every day. She never did mind my combing or brushing it. You could also try one of those plastic brushes with bristles wide apart.
My daughter is now 32 and does her own hair.
Why don't you be a mom and take care of your daughter until she is an adult? sm
Boyfriend, spoiled, blah, blah. You are her parent. You need to provide her a place to live until she is old enough to do so herself. I would either allow her to move in with you and your boyfriend or I would rent her a place to live. She is not old enough to be expected to find a roommate and pay all her own bills yet. If you had done your job to begin with she wouldn't be spoiled or having such issues.
You're obviously the only ADULT between the two
Someone has to teach your daughter to have the money in hand for things you want; otherwise, when will she ever learn to work for what she wants? Handing it over BEFORE the money is made is a huge mistake.
I watched my husband do this with our son and he always said he would pay us back but he needed it NOW because it was on sale or some such garbage. He would be given more labor intensive chores around the house to make the money but never paid us back.
No matter how much I told my son he was not going to get a penny out of me without the job done first, my husband always went behind my back and bought it beforehand, gave it to him, and of course my son had absolutely no motivation to pay for anything. Long story short, he is now 23 years old and still doesn't get the point of working to pay for what you want.....
My husband is very good with money, as am I, but I was raised to pay for what you want and not on credit. Children really need to learn this lesson early on. I was always surprised my husband handed everything over to him because husband worked since he was 12 years old at jobs the labor laws would never allow now! If he wanted anything, he paid for it himself.....the end!! No discussion!
Our son is still loafing around in college, home for summer now, supposed to have a job but of course does not because he knows his dad will not do anything about it, and if I say anything, I get chewed out and disrespected by our son because he knows I have no back up.
You stick to your guns and do what is right..... you do not want her to turn out like that! Her tears will go away. She wanted to umpire, let her umpire and I would definitely tell her how her first responsibility is to umpire. NO CREDIT FOR A TEENAGER!! EVER!
Assuming your daughter is an adult, why make a difference?
a gift in return. If everyone is going to be together when gifts are exchanged, then I get them a little something, even if its a wal-mart gift card.
If they will not be there when you give your daughter and SIL a gift, then I guess you could skip them.
My true opinion is that adults, other than spouse and SO - do not need gifts. We do not buy the adult gifts in our family, but we have a big get together at our house and provide all the fixings and such, that is our gift.
My daughter is 7 and thinks they're disgusting - LOL! (sm)
She sees them in the store and says, "yuck!"
Didn't say i don't spank, just said wasn't going to
Never have to spank mine and they listen very well nm
x
My teen daughter has this, too. We're trying the dermatologist next. OTC stuff isn't cutting i
v
Don't spank, but zero tolerance for outright definance/talking back (sm)
I absolutely will not have my children talk bad or raise their voice at me. Ever. I do not tolerate it one bit. I do not spank them, because I want them to respect me because I am respectable and I am their mother, end of story. The times that my children have tried to test me and try my limits, I have put them in their place immediately. I get a big mean scary mom voice and tell them they will not EVER speak to me like that and they will go and stay in their room until they can come out and apologize, tell me what they did wrong, and behave appropriately. If they come out with the faintest hint of an attitude, I take them by the shoulders, turn them around and march them back to their room and forbid them to come out until they are willing to come out and be sorry. It really hurts their feelings to see me this upset with them because we usually have a really good relationship, so when I am that mad, they know they have done something wrong and they better straighten up.
Should teenage drivers pay for ....sm
1. Driver's education/training classes if required in a state (ours mandates it) and it's not available as part of the public school curriculum? The price is $325 for the 40 hour course if taken through one of the state approved places and includes 6 hours of hands-on driving experience and 34 hours of classroom instruction.
2. The cost of car insurance and gas?
My husband & I are considering for item #1 having our almost 15-year-old pay for half the course as she does have the money in the bank and makes money babysitting, but haven't totally decided on this. We know that if we ask her what she thinks about it she'll respond that she wants us to pay for it because she likes to spend her money on music. We do pay $100 a month for her to have guitar lessons which began this past summer. For item #2 we do agree that she should pay for the insurance/gas when she gets her permanent license. Some of the parents in our area pay for this for their kids and others either have them pay all or part of it. Our rules for driving once she turns 16 is that she will have to keep her grades up to a B average or higher, have a part-time job and if she slacks on either then the keys are taken away. She isn't involved in extracurricular activities after school so there's no reason why she couldn't work a few hours a week during the school year to cover these costs. We do have a good dependable car for her to drive (1992 Cougar with low mileage) so at least there's wheels for her to travel on.
What's your opinion?
New teenage driver
I am getting ready to add my 15 year old daughter to my car insurance, can anyone give me a ball park figure of how much my insurance will go up, has anyone done this recently that can tell me how much yours increased? Thanks in advance. The car she will be driving is about 7 years old but I think I have to also add my van?
For those of you with teenage boys
I just wanted to share this. Yesterday my 16 yo son said to me, "Mom we should make some Christmas cookies." My older 2 aren't home from college yet so it is just he and I. I bought all the colored sugars, we put on Xmas music and he helped me make the dough, cut out the cookies and decorate them. I share this only because if you have a teenage son you know this is highly unusual when what they really want is to hang out with their friends and play loud music and talk about girls! It really touched me that we had this special time together. I am blessed to have him for a son. 
What would you say to these rude teenage boys??
Ok, I was out walking this morning and these 2 teenage (middle school) boys starting yelling things at me as I walked by!! At first, I couldn't tell what they were saying or who they were directing it to because I had my headphones on, but after a while I realized they were speaking to me!! One of the boys was saying MOOOO and I couldn't tell what the other one was saying. I just ignored them and kept walking, as I know they were being stupid boys (especially since I'm not overweight), but I would really like some advice or great comebacks to tell these losers the next time they try something like this. Obviously, I would love to just spray them with pepper spray or kick them where it hurts, but I don't want to go to jail :) I really wish all parents would teach their boys how to treat a woman, so things like this wouldn't happen!!!!
By the way, my husband is out of town for another month, so I can't send him over to the bus stop to have a "talk" with them!
2 teenage drives - both boys, sm
One is in college and has not had any type of ticket. Did hit someone already, and he had to pay half of her repairs. We paid the other half because we wanted him to save for college. The second has just gotten his permit. If either of them get a ticket, they will have to pay for it, and go to driver's school. Would probably take away driving priviledges for a while on the youngest. definitely would not ignore any offenses!
former teenage alcohol user
I don't know if this is too "harsh" for your daughter, but have you thought about showing her the results of drinking and/or driving? I drank A LOT in high school, starting around 15 when my mom got sick and continued daily drinking through graduation and then some. Did my fair share of drinking and driving or riding in cars with drivers who drank, thinking that nothing would ever happen. My sister who was 5 years older than me died from drinking and driving when I was 18, and to "show" me and my teenage cousins the consequences, we went with my uncle to see her car that had not been cleaned after the wreck (nasty, and I still see it to this day which is about 18 years later)...she was in a little 4-door car and fell asleep and drove underneath an 18-wheeler. That sight was burned into my brain and I never forgot what drinking and driving could do, that we weren't invincible.
I did hear of a school that was doing "shock presentations" to students, arranging to have 10 or so students missing from classes for the day, then the other students were told that they were killed in accidents from drinking. While that is a bit extreme, I really think that shock works best on teenagers as I always thought I knew best and that nothing would ever happen.
I would also look up stories of teenage car accidents (sm)
and show them to her, the more sad and terrible the better. I would take her on a tour of the juvenile detention center in your town. I would drive through downtown at night with her and let her see how people live on the streets. I would look up every case of STDs I could find and show her pictures. I would get just as blatant as she is. If my child ever said F* you to me, I would know it was time to jump into action. I would purposely try to scare the cr*p out of her by showing her reality. And if I had to, I would let her to to a drug rehab or juvenile detention for a while, to let her wake up.
My teenage son has longer hair.
He keeps it clean and neat (right now he kind of looks like David Cassidy back in the day). When he starts letting it hang in his eyes, off it comes.
With teenagers you do have to pick your battles. He says that in a few years, it's going to start falling out (he's probably right) so he wants to enjoy it while he can.
My teenage son loves giftcards for
game stores. He loves PlayStation, etc. and he always wants a new game. I get him a card and he can go pick out what he wants.
Endorsed by my teenage nephews
These 2 could not be more "male" and they have really gotten into the Twilight series. One started reading it because his mom had it laying around. She will read anything. Anyway, now they are hooked and asking for the series for Christmas. Could always get them and give a gift receipt in case he doesn't like it.
I never yelled until the teenage years hit, then
it was hard not to yell.
Seems like my childhood/teenage years went with them...
who didn't walk into a young man's bedroom and see Farrah's poster -- wish you could be her, and of course, Thriller playing in the background at my first booze party. Blackberry brandy slushes...we were SO COOL...
Goodness, sometimes this adult stuff seems so trivial.
Teenage 'virginity pledges' are ineffective
By Rob Stein
!["](http://msnbcmedia1.msn.com/i/msnbc/Components/Art/SITEWIDE/PartnerColorBoxLogos/WaPost_333_GCH.gif") updated 7:20 a.m. CT, Mon., Dec. 29, 2008
Teenagers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not promise abstinence and are significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do, according to a study released today.
The new analysis of data from a large federal survey found that more than half of youths became sexually active before marriage regardless of whether they had taken a "virginity pledge," but that the percentage who took precautions against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases was 10 points lower for pledgers than for non-pledgers.
"Taking a pledge doesn't seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior," said Janet E. Rosenbaum of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, whose report appears in the January issue of the journal Pediatrics. "But it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking."
The study is the latest in a series that have raised questions about programs that focus on encouraging abstinence until marriage, including those that specifically ask students to publicly declare their intention to remain virgins. The new analysis, however, goes beyond earlier analyses by focusing on teens who had similar values about sex and other issues before they took a virginity pledge. "Previous studies would compare a mixture of apples and oranges," Rosenbaum said. "I tried to pull out the apples and compare only the apples to other apples."
The findings are reigniting the debate about the effectiveness of abstinence-focused sexual education just as Congress and the new Obama administration are about to reconsider the more than $176 million in annual funding for such programs. "This study again raises the issue of why the federal government is continuing to invest in abstinence-only programs," said Sarah Brown of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. "What have we gained if we only encourage young people to delay sex until they are older, but then when they do become sexually active — and most do well before marriage — they don't protect themselves or their partners?"
'Get real about sex education' James Wagoner of the advocacy group Advocates for Youth agreed: "The Democratic Congress needs to get its head out of the sand and get real about sex education in America." Proponents of such programs, however, dismissed the study as flawed and argued that programs that focus on abstinence go much further than simply asking youths to make a one-time promise to remain virgins. "It is remarkable that an author who employs rigorous research methodology would then compromise those standards by making wild, ideologically tainted and inaccurate analysis regarding the content of abstinence education programs," said Valerie Huber of the National Abstinence Education Association. Rosenbaum analyzed data collected by the federal government's National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, which gathered detailed information from a representative sample of about 11,000 students in grades seven through 12 in 1995, 1996 and 2001.
Although researchers have analyzed data from that survey before to examine abstinence education programs, the new study is the first to use a more stringent method to account for other factors that could influence the teens' behavior, such as their attitudes about sex before they took the pledge.
100 variables
Rosenbaum focused on about 3,400 students who had not had sex or taken a virginity pledge in 1995. She compared 289 students who were 17 years old on average in 1996, when they took a virginity pledge, with 645 who did not take a pledge but were otherwise similar. She based that judgment on about 100 variables, including their attitudes and their parents' attitudes about sex and their perception of their friends' attitudes about sex and birth control.
"This study came about because somebody who decides to take a virginity pledge tends to be different from the average American teenager. The pledgers tend to be more religious. They tend to be more conservative. They tend to be less positive about sex. There are some striking differences," Rosenbaum said. "So comparing pledgers to all non-pledgers doesn't make a lot of sense."
By 2001, Rosenbaum found, 82 percent of those who had taken a pledge had retracted their promises, and there was no significant difference in the proportion of students in both groups who had engaged in any type of sexual activity, including giving or receiving oral sex, vaginal intercourse, the age at which they first had sex, or their number of sexual partners. More than half of both groups had engaged in various types of sexual activity, had an average of about three sexual partners and had had sex for the first time by age 21 even if they were unmarried.
"It seems that pledgers aren't really internalizing the pledge," Rosenbaum said. "Participating in a program doesn't appear to be motivating them to change their behavior. It seems like abstinence has to come from an individual conviction rather than participating in a program."
'Negative views about condoms'
While there was no difference in the rate of sexually transmitted diseases in the two groups, the percentage of students who reported condom use was about 10 points lower for those who had taken the pledge, and they were about 6 percentage points less likely to use any form of contraception. For example, about 24 percent of those who had taken a pledge said they always used a condom, compared with about 34 percent of those who had not.
Rosenbaum attributed the difference to what youths learn about condoms in abstinence-focused programs.
"There's been a lot of work that has found that teenagers who take part in abstinence-only education have more negative views about condoms," she said. "They tend not to give accurate information about condoms and birth control." But Huber disputed that charge.
"Abstinence education programs provide accurate information on the level of protection offered through the typical use of condoms and contraception," she said. "Students understand that while condoms may reduce the risk of infection and/or pregnancy, they do not remove the risk."
I went with unlimited texting with my teenage kids...sm
because they can really burn up the kb! It has become useful if they need something and are in class. They make good grades in school and that helps with the deal. I bargain a lot with their grades. Certain things they do have to work for, I don't buy bells and whistles. I do like it because we can communicate. They did teach me how, which gave them laughs for hours!
Dear teenage girl on the cell phone...
saying the word F**k many times during your conversation does not make you sound cool or grown up.
From the lady who is going to slap you silly
Need gift for 16 y/o teenage boy. He is athletic. Not the inside gamer type.
Does your teenage girl bring home new clothing, pocketbooks?
Watching a show this morning and it was telling about how many young teenage girls now having oral sex, 54% of ages like 13-19. The kids on the show said they felt like you were still a virgin if only having oral sex, reallly common place. They went on to share the fact teenaged girls were turning tricks for money, clothing and the like. They shared the fact that if your daughter shows up with things like sweaters, pocketbooks, etc. that they really don’t have the money to buy, maybe you should be investigating about where this money is coming from.
male
I have not seen a female yet - the males come to my porch and eat .. mostly on days like today when it is cold and snowy. . I love to see them.
It's a male...sm
I have a big orange tabby right now who is a male and I had one about 15 years ago, who was also a male. BTW, the mother of this litter is a calico and I have a female calico in the house.
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
My male kitty
when he first came to live with us he was a mere 6 weeks old, and he would drink from the water bowl while "standing" on the edge of the bowl (front paws only) which looked silly but cute too! Then, he rapidly grew and grew and began to tip the water bowl over when doing that, so thankfully he stopped, but now I notice him sliding his paws (slowly) in a digging motion before drinking and can't help but notice how noisey he is when he drinks, he sounds like a dog lapping or a bird taking a bath! Boys! 
My male cat Curly sometimes
tries that with my female cat Ophelia, who is his mother! Its just scandalizing. ;)
Would you happen to be a male
Because any female knows how hard it is to go to school while having your period, especially having your FIRST period. And the thought of her using a tampon at that age I am sure freaks the poor child out. My DD is 17 and she still doesn't use tampons. I never used them until I had my 3rd child, over the age of 30. Only a male (I hope) would make such an uneducated response...more power to ya Mom, stick up for your DD 100%... the teacher was absolutely wrong in the way this situation was handled and should be confronted about it...good luck!
This is why I have mostly male friends.
I really hope you don't take too much into the mean ones and listen to the positive input.
Walk a mile in someone else's moccasins, people...
More upset with male, although I see your SM
point. If male, would be more about him. My ex did cheat on me for years. I felt deceived, but would have felt even more so if he cheated with men and probably scared silly about disease, which, I know, could have been passed on by women.
Wish people didn't have affairs and if they want a divorce, just get one and then date whomever you want. Yes, I am very naive.
male nipples
I can't remember where I read it, but I did read somewhere that the reason males have nipples is because during development the "blueprint" for nipples is there before male or female genitalia are formed. Now whether or not this is actual fact is anyone's guess. I have also heard that if men are given hormones they could produce milk and breastfeed.
Male menopause
Is anyone's signifant other going though male menopause, mid life crisis (or whatever it is called). If so, how old are they and what is it they're going through (or better yet what are you going through). Mine is not bipolar or depressed (although he's making me depressed). Just wondering what others are facing with their husbands.
This is me right now - 
Every living breathing male does if they can.
Only most don't codemn it. THAT is what I would have a problem with. :)
Male harassement vent....
I wasn't sure were to post this...
My sister was just at the bank and while she was leaving she noticed a male banker staring at her. A couple of minutes later she gets a phone call from this banker telling her if she ever needs anything to call him. She asaked if he does this with all the people that bank and he said no just the pretty ones.
He did NOT help her when she was there so he had to have had the banker that helped her reopen her account and get ALL of her information. This is soooooo BAD ! She lives alone. How can this man do this I believe he was a manager or something not just a regular employee. UUUHHHHHH!!!!!! My mom use to be a banker so I told my sis to call her and see what she should do but my mom is pretty passive so I'm not sure what she will say. This makes me so angry to think that he has ALL her information UHHHH! This is sooo wrong!
My sis is only 21 and lives alone. She has already had one scare at her apartment and I'm sure she will feel unsafe once again. I don't know why this man thinks he can do this!
I just had to get this out.
Oh, my, did not know you included a male as being a pregnant
person, thought surely a we were pregnant meant another female, just call me old fashioned but when I grew up only females got pregnant, carried the babies, had the babies. Just have never heard of a male being pregnant but will take your word for it. I guess times have changed.
I have two cats, one male and one female-
the female's name is Ophelia, a.k.a. Miss Thing, a.k.a. feefee, feebee or feegirl.
My baby boy's name is Curly, a.k.a. Curls, a.k.a. fattyboy, crybaby boy, or kittyboy. I once decided he should have a Native American name so his full name is Curly Purrsloud Longtail Kittyboy. :D Although now the poor baby has just been diagnosed with diabetes so I may need to make that Curly Purrsloud Longtail takes-insulin-well Kittyboy. :)
First ever male furkid here and yuck!
I have a neutered male cat who is about 2 years old now, love him so but I wondered where the big stink was coming from and turns out it is him, his behind to go into detail. I have 2 other furkids, his brotheI and female and neither one of these are smelly. He nor his brother spray on the furniture or walls, have never seen that happen but can anyone tell me why he might be so smelly- are there glands in the rear I am totally unaware or ?? Being as he is over 20 pounds probably I will have to take him to be groomed but the question is why?? He is in good health as far as I am aware. Thanks.
typical male response
X
Male psychologist on CNN stated SM
he was powerful man who was afraid to discuss his feelings with his wife and "just wanted a hug". Pretty expensive, ahem, hugs.
No, nothing personal. They can ask for female or male.
x
Male grizzly bears, for one. (sm)
Snakes. Male porcupines. Reptiles (Oops, that's a whole group of creatures, all living alone). Spiders. Female sea horses. Great white sharks. Most fish (oops, another group).
Dear All You Male People
PUT YOUR $#@!& dishes IN the dishwasher. NOT in the sink. NOT on the counter. NOT left on the table. Are you mow-rons handicapped? Am I the only one in the house with the capability of actually being able to do the latch, lower the door, slide out the rack, and place dishes inside? A complex task, I understand, but one would think that after years and years of training, one would get the hang of it.
HUGE SIGH OF FRUSTRATION.
LY, BTW.
Mom
Male or female so I will know if I am interested. NM
X
And I think someone is jealous, what's wrong, no male attention for you? lol
I totally agree with the OP. I too have been inappropriately treated by men, uncomfortable staring or smiling or flitatious comments and it gets a little tiresome. The problem is that men never grow up. They would do this into their 90s if they could still see!
Need secret Santa ideas for male.....
My husband needs some secret Santa ideas for under $2 for a new male teacher. He really does not know very well. As an emergeny I sent a bag of homemade cookies the first day. Any neat unique ideas?
Get a 2nd opinion, preferably from a woman if your doc is male. nm
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