yo trose? What is *normal*? Normal means
Posted By: sm on 2007-11-15
In Reply to: Thought provoking question - trose
*normal*? that only means one has a preconceived idea of what sanity is....
which I don't - so I have no answer......*lol*
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what's *normal*?? Normal only means one has a
maybe it's normal and I'm the odd one?
DS#1, age 17, likes a girl who is a junior, so she's probably 16 or 17. I'll call her J. DS has sort of liked her for a while, but she had a boyfriend. That boyfriend dumped her recently because he wanted to date someone else.
J was distraught over it for a couple of weeks and ended up going out with DS so now they're a "couple" and DS is very happy.
She's a bright girl, attractive, on the honor roll, very active in sports, tutors kids in the evening, is in the high school band, etc.
Anyway, J told my son that she needs to have a guy in her life and doesn't really feel complete without one.
Isn't it odd to feel that way, especially at that young of an age? Or maybe it's normal and I'm the odd one?
no it is not normal but is
very sad that she would think that. he needs to watch out or he will be paying child support the rest of his life!
Normal???
Definitely Normal
This is definitely normal behavior. I have a 13 year old and when she saw the Backstreet Boys back when she was older, she had a similar reaction. I remember feeling the same when I saw my "idols" years ago.
This is normal!
I was this way when I started too. I had my first period in December, just after my 12th birthday, and didn't have another one until March. Very common during the first year. And yes, her physical activity can be part of the reason...often athletes and the like have irregular menses.
TO: What is...normal
What is your problem? This woman is scared for her life and the lives of her children and you have the unmitigated gall to try to insinuate that she be subservient to this walking horror she is married to and make nice with him? Apparently your nerve is overwhelmed by any common sense you may have been born with. I wonder if you would feel the same if it were your sister, aunt or god forbid - your mother..ignorant..
To me, this is a normal job. I am up at 4 a.m. and
start work, take a break about 7 to shower and at least put on my work out clothes, including bra, some make up, etc, then backto work. Nothing worse to me than working in jammies...can't take the ob seriously, JMHO. I also like to look presentable should anyone visit (live very rurally, so doesn't usually happen) and especially when DH comes home from work. Who wants to see a wife still in jammies looking a wreck?
No. It is not normal.
My husband is my high school sweetheart. We have been together since we were 16 (39 now) and married for 17 years. We have had some heated arguments but never once has he laid a hand on me nor would he. Never once has either of us called names or disrespected one another. It is just not acceptable to treat someone you love with any less respect than you expect for yourself. It sounds like you do love him but he violated your trust and security in him. If he hasn't been abusive since that one incident, you could consider marriage counseling to help work through trust and forgiveness. If he is emotionally abusive, then it could just be a matter of time before it gets physical again. Your safety is the most important thing. Good luck.
Yes, it's normal. You do need help from DH, mom, in-law. You SM
need time to yourself. Even an hour a day. Believe me, it isn't easy and you should not feel you are the only one who feels the way you do.
Books, commercials, et. al, show endless scenes of serene mothers and babies. Most times are NOT serene, but, trust me, they get better. The more sure of yourself you become, the better things get and the second child will be easier. Wait a minute, I didn't have a second child, but my only child did!
Yes, it's normal. You do need help from DH, mom, in-law. You SM
need time to yourself. Even an hour a day. Believe me, it isn't easy and you should not feel you are the only one who feels the way you do.
Books, commercials, et. al, show endless scenes of serene mothers and babies. Most times are NOT serene, but, trust me, they get better. The more sure of yourself you become, the better things get and the second child will be easier. Wait a minute, I didn't have a second child, but my only child did!
very normal
My hubby is an OB/GYN and that is very common. Just a much better view. Annoying and uncomfortable, yes, but just a better view.
Normal anxiety???
I have a lot going on in my life right now - mother-in-law diagnosed with advanced metastatic ovarian cancer a week and a half ago, requested husband and I go to a marriage counsellor (which I started even though I don't want to), and starting a new full-time job at a hospital (not at home) on Monday. I have not worked FT outside of my home since my children were born and am worried about having them in early and after care, holidays, etc.
Anyway, I have been waking up and night with my heart pounding, cannot get back to sleep for hours, and having a "panicky" feeling in my chest off and on throughout the day. I feel like crying. Do you think this is situational anxiety or do I need medication? I can't stand this feeling!! Thanks for any advice!
Very normal feelings.......sm
I went through the same feelings with both my children, my daughter being the oldest. She had to take a drivers course at our local high school during the summer, then she got her permit. She drove with that for a few months before getting her license. But that first time she went with a girlfriend just down the street to a local burger joint made me crazy. I knew she would go slow and be very cautious, but that feeilng was still there, bordering on panic. She's 23 now. My son came next....he had to take the same course. He's was a little more pushy about the license, but didn't make a big deal out of it. But, unfortunately, within the month after getting them his dad said he could go to his girlfriend's.. it was rainy and I was not happy. She lives on a dead end street which is good, cause a dog ran out in front of him, he dodged it, and ran over the neighbor's utility box and tore up their beautiful grass. He was scared to death. Well, that got fixed and I guarantee he went slower after that. He's 20 now and as I notice a lot of guys do, he drives faster than his sister, but not as fast as his girlfriend, thank goodness!! He drives her car cause he tells her she goes too fast, won't use blinkers, no signals, makes me nuts. But they are grown and made it through those early testing times, and so will yours. By the time my son got his license, my state had graduated license, so he could only drive between certain daytime hours, and not past 7 at night for a few months. Check your state laws...a lot of them have these now.
Very normal. Let her get her license, but
give her rules. No passengers other than you or her dad. No phone use while car is in gear. Drive during daylight only for first 3 months. Make sure she knows ahead of time how she is getting somewhere. Stress following rules of the road, using blinkers, once you are in a lane to turn, go through with it and correct her course later when safe. Calmly explain that driving is a privilege. If she doesn't seem safe enough, make her take a defensive driving course also. It can't hurt.
It seems normal to me. I had a friend
who went to a therapist for years, and I truly got the impression he had her continue to come because she was so entertaining with her stories.
What is more important than style is whether she is helping you. Is your concern that you don't feel you are making progress? Is she having you try new things or otherwise work on your issues? Or is she just having you talk and nothing else?
The only therapy I've had was biofeedback training, which was very helpful for me because it taught me a skill, plus I could talk to the tech like a therapist. She definitely made me feel better about things.
It's not your normal kind of tea..sm
and one cup, I don't think, will make one P three to four times during the night, but whatever works for you.
TOTALLY normal! (sm)
My kids are younger than yours, but I am the youngest of three. I have an older sister and older brother. My brother is the oldest and he is three years older than me. I can remember growing up and being picked on by my brother (and sister) and there were times when I felt like I truly hated him. I'm sure he felt the same about me at times. Now I love him dearly and I think he is one of the greatest men in my life. I'm sure it sounded horrible to you, but don't worry. It's perfectly normal.
Absolutely ~ it is normal.....nm
x
I actually have, and it was completely normal - SM
I'm in my mid-20s and have always been very healthy and active. I could never even catch the chickenpox from my friends as a child! LOL! Oh well, I'll have to see if stopping this antihistamine makes a difference. I feel completely fine otherwise.
should say "are" normal....
xx
sounds like a normal
reaction/depression to situation. I'm sorry for your loss. I dread going through what you are, and i know my time is near, with elderly parents and elderly husband. I guess a lawyer that specializes in estates could help with those aspects. Might also inquire of a friend, neighbor or church member that has been through similar. To get out of a funk, i'd recommend trying to do something for someone else -- volunteer, donate, help someone who has needs (babysitting, taking elderly to store, etc) That has a way of revitalizing a person. Hope your new year gets better soon.
Perverting the normal
You can rant all day about how happy you are to live alone without a plant, or a pet, or anyone else, but you are the exception, not the rule...and quit dissing the bible.
you asked what was normal
Your parents showed you how to have a peaceful divorce, so I am absolutely sure that you know how to have a peaceful divorce.
normal for this profession sm
Typing in dark, just got up,but we have to have quiet and solitude to pay attention to what we're doing. I rented an office because my husband talks so much, never near my work but used to sit on the stairs and talk to me and kept interrupting. Even with an office I would get upset if someone walked in while I was working. It's part of the problem and I do like people but find them very irritating when I try to concentrate. Now I feel I am a "victim" of having no one to really "talk" to when I need to "talk" because I was so short with everyone. It's hard, I'm lonely too, that's why I come in here. SAD, people don't understand. It's a lonely profession. But then again, I hate "small talk" after all the true in-depth stories I heard from my work, all the rest seems boring and not important. So you have "company" after all!
Not normal but happened in my family
My neice, then a high school senior, was told by her long-time boyfriend of about 3 years that he wanted to break up with her. She went nuts and even tried to commit suicide by swallowing a bunch of Tylenol. She was convinced they were going to be married in a year or two, have kids, and she would be a stay-at-home mom...had it all planned out. Apparently she shared those thoughts with him and that's what sent him packing.
It took her a LONG time to realize he wasn't coming back and I think she still has dependency issues (dependent on people I mean).
I don't agree with how she was raised though. She was put on birth control strictly for contraception at age 16 because her parents knew they were having sex and basically gave her the okay to do so, even in their house. She was treated like an adult, even though she was not, and not ready to act like one, and that really messed the poor kid up, probaby permanently.
Therapy is indeed a good place to start for your son's girlfriend.
Don't know, never lasted for me....am told that it's normal.
Unfortunately the sparks begin to fizzle and eventually burn out when it comes to that department for most couples and you have to really work at trying to spice things back up.
I have to say mine is pretty normal....
He will look at a gorgeous thin woman and it doesn't bother me in the least. I think I would be more concerned if he didn't. :)
definitely normal kid culture reaction
Remembering standing outside waiting at the Brooklyn Fox for the following groups at one time or another way back when:
Little Anthony and the Imperials
Martha and the Vandellas
The Shirelles
Otis Redding
Little Stevie Wonder (he was 13)
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
The Ruffin Brothers (David and.....cannot remember the other one's name at the moment)
The Thymes (later on)
before the British Invasion music which them some of us started appreciating......and going ape waiting for the Beatles at 54th Street at the Warwick Hotel, 500-1000 young girls on the 4 corners of that intersection mobbing taxicabs....*LOL* - those were the days....
Not normal if something deadly that could happen-
you know he has sleep apnea and can be deadly and you call that normal? I probably would take him myself to the doctor but then I really am in love with my husband.
But you know how long a normal period
should last, so therefore you take matters into your own hands and be more assertive before you drop over.
Normal or not? Son saying he hates h is sister (sm)
He is 10, she is 3 years younger. She is usually nice to him and loves him. I could understand if he blurted out "I hate you" when they were arguing, but tonight I told him that she won't be home tomorrow afternoon and he and I could go see a movie or something together and he said "she won't be here - good - I hate her." And he said it so mean. I told him he is not allowed to talk about her like that, that she wouldn't talk that way about him and if she did, she would be in trouble. He said, "I don't know why, she's just so annoying and I hate her." I asked him what he thought "hate" meant and he said that it was wishing someone would just "poof, disappear." She tends to be more outgonig than him. She learned to waterski this weekend, while he refused to even try. So I don't know if he is just jealous or what, but it scares me that something so mean can come out of my own child's mouth.
Yep. Normal. Just take a deep breath and
They'll probably make peace in a few short years (when you're old and grey-headed and senile, lol)!
:)
Doesn't sound normal to me
If my kid said that, I'd tell him to forget the movie.
Why do so many parents tolerate hate and abuse among their own children? If the kid next door said that about your daughter, would you let it pass? And the fact that you asked him what it meant - as if a 10 yo wouldn't understand hate - and he told you he wants her to disappear, spells troubled kid to me. I'd take him to a therapist.
That is so normal, completely child like
saw post below where said would take to a therapist. That, my dear, is what is really wrong with most of these kids now. A therapist?? Not just mother speaking but grandmother as well and I have heard lots of kids say that to their siblings- mine for example and they love each other now since they're grown.
Sounds to crazy to be normal. sm
Thanks for the advice. I am trying to convince my macho husband to sit while peeing. Ha.
under normal circumstances, absolutely sm
not! The government has no business telling folks how to raise their kids, etc. etc. Government has too much control as it is.
ON THE OTHER HAND-I read where this 13-year-old boy cannot read! This all came out when they were saying he agreed with his mother and all this kind of stuff. If the boy can't read, what is this mother doing with this kid? Has he not been in school, etc. etc? I am wondering what else is really going on in that household.
Yes it is normal, your hormones are readjusting -sm
from being pregnant, your body is in overdrive to make milk, etc. I never really had any of those issues luckily as I could not breast-feed (body would just not make milk with either of my pregnancies) so I had to make formula every day, sterilize bottles, nipples, etc. Fun process to have to do every darn day. You may have returned to work too soon, give yourself a chance to be with the baby, the first six weeks is an adjustment on everyone's part. With my first child though my DH would take one night a week of feedings so I could have a night off, you need to make a similar arrangement, lack of sleep will definitely make you loopy. Many times he would come home from work and I would lay down on the couch with my daughter (when she was just a month or two old or so) and zonk out with her while he made dinner (he'd cook, I'd clean up). ---go talk to your doctor about your mood swings and find out if they are extreme enough for meds, while breast feeding you may not be able to take anything possibly or if they have any suggestions that may make your life easier that maybe you have not thought of. Find a healthy way to relieve some stress, whether it is going outside and screaming your lungs out (my favorite) or cleaning, do what makes you feel better and burns off some stress.
My experience as a substitute teacher is that this is very normal
behavior for children at her age. Please remember that we just got through a worldwind of holidays and their schedules have been off as far as structure. Almost every child right now is going through this disruptive behavior, because believe it or not, children truly want structure in their lives and thrive upon it. No, it does not make it acceptable and I am the biggest stinker about my children acting appropriately in school. Like I tell my children, I cannot make you gets As in all your subjects, but I can make you responsible for your behavior.
Anyhow, I think the apology to the teacher itself would have been an appropriate punishment at her young age, as children truly want nothing more than acceptance.
BTW, her age level is tough right now. After the winter holidays they ALL seem to get tattling and boisterous and whenever I have to teach kindergartners in the Sprin I pray VERY hard. It is all part of them establishing their identities. You are a very good mother for being so concerned and proactive, but just try to take this stepping stone with a little bit of patience and glory....she is growing up!! Hugs to you!!!
I agree, I believe idolizing anyone to that extent is not normal
and not healthy either! No wonder some of these young kids, especially girls, are suffering with bulimia and anorexia and poor self image. If they feel that extreme about someone famous and begin to cry hysterically in their mere presence, it's no wonder. That's actually pretty sad in my opinion.
And squirting milk on a cousin of his is not normal either
just amaze yourself and read some of this nut's posts. Un-b-liv-able.....
Get an excuse, for a normal period that most all girls have?
You seem to be jumping to higher ups before anyone talks with the teacher. I would ask for a conference with that particular teacher to see what is said about the incident. Can you just image giving every female off for having a period? Does that seem like you should have an excuse for something that is so normal? I say introduce the daughter to tampons, welcome to the adult world!
Does anyone have thyroid issues with normal free T4? (sm)
I have heard there can be T3-T4 converting issues that make your T4 appear normal but you can still have a thyroid condition. Just wondering if anyone on here has had that issue? Thanks for any info.
I think what you are experiencing is all normal teen behavior. sm
I can't think of anyone that I hung around with in my teens that didn't run away. Trust me ---- they ALWAYS COME BACK.
I understand, it's a part of you. You're normal!
...
Is this normal - marital seperation question (sm)
Husband and I have argued terribly over the years, been to several marriage counselors, etc. Lately the arguing had gotten much worse and we could barely be around each other 5 minutes without an argument starting. Now we have both concluded that we should seperate and have been working on a seperation agreement. Each of us once in a while has a thought that maybe we should try to work things out but then we remember how many times we have tried to do that and we know we would just be prolonging the inevitable. So now we are actually getting along better while planning a seperation than we have during our marriage. We do have children and we are both thinking of their wellbeing first and foremost. Is it possible that we could actually both be relieved at the thought of seperating and that we may be able to be good friends after the divorce? (How amazing would that be? I keep asking myself!)
Lady, it is not normal for men to beat women...
if you don't know that you are not mature enough to date, let alone marry and have children with a man. Just get out, get some therapy of some kind and get an idea of what a HEALTHY relationship should be like before venturing into another one. Flame away, BTDT, so don't bother to bash me...it won't change my opinion.
Normal wear for warm weather is
cutoffs and a T shirt, cold is sweats OR my flannel PJs.
Nastier than normal bill collector sm
When I was first on my own, I got in over my head with my phone service and had it go to collections. The debt got bought by another agency a while later, and when the first person called and said how much was owed, I said I could make the 4 payments of whatever it was they offered. Well, the "supervisor" wench who came on the line next said that was unacceptable. I explained that I could pay the amount they wanted for 1 payment but not the whole thing or I would not have groceries for my kids. I was calm and asked if she wanted me to pay her instead of having food for my kids, and I kid you not, she said yes!!! I explained that she was being ridiculous and how was I supposed to do something like that? Basically it all boiled down to she didn't care about anything other than getting the money and that I should have paid my bills back then, even when I admitted to her that I had made a bad choice at that time and was wanting to take care of it. I ended up getting hung up on and was so ticked I couldn't see straight.
Normal question but odd to leave own customers to come ask about a person's bra!
I think that it was an okay question to be asking, but it sounds odd only because he went out of his way to ask it. Generally, in my opinion, this question is no big deal. It is, however, kinda strange that he left his work area and customers of his own to come over to ask a person a question like this. Sounds like he really went out of his way to make an *** out of himself. Probably didn't realize it until after he thought about what he said though.
Normal. I think jealousy is involved & also that his hormones are starting
s
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