yet another porn and men question
Posted By: 2old4this on 2009-04-12
In Reply to:
I have asked this before on this board about husband/boyfriend watching porn in secret. I get answers anywhere from "all men do it, don't worry about it" to "he shouldn't be doing that." I am really really confused. I have talked with a couple of girlfriends and since they don't have that problem with their husbands they just don't know what they'd do in my case. Anyway, boyfriend seems kind of addicted. Whenever I am gone for several hours and he is at home he looks at porn sites. Young lesbians, and not soft porn that's for sure. Really gross and I am not a prude. This is several times a week. He was using a work laptop computer (he is a TEACHER) and it got a virus and quit working (how appropriate). He has a new one now and I figured he'd be more careful but I just checked the browsing history and he is doing it more than ever. Where does secretive porn-surfing become obsession? This makes me sick and in addition I have told him offhandedly about teachers getting in lots of trouble over porn found on work computers but he doesn't seem to care, obviously.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Soft porn pictures, how about your soft porn posts?
Go climb back in your slime ball life.
BF and porn
As a lady who is looking at her 17 yr anniversary coming up and the mother of boys, I have some pretty strong opinions about porn and how men treat the woman they supposedly "love." Dear friend, if this is a problem in your life, my advice would be to become more selfish about yourself. You have one life. You have a heart that needs attention and love and fidelity and trust. You have the right to live with a man who does not spend his time wanting to watch strange women (who are probably drunk or drug addicts or street hookers desperate for cash) have sex with other women, men, etc.
It is SO hard to step out and say, "Hey, this is not where I want to be and I need to go now," but it is worth it in the end. I have known so many women who struggle with this, and their men always say it is the woman's problem. Don't be fooled! Not all men are like this. A lot are, but not all. I once dated a guy who was so handsome, so charming. I couldn't get enough of him. When I went to his house for a birthday party and used the bathroom,I looked under the sink for some TP and found PILES of porn magazines and lotion. I almost died. I broke up with him that night and told him why. Several months later I had a new BF and life moved on. It always does.
My own mother fought with my dad over this and it broke her heart, especially since my dad's desire to look at women who were literally half his age did not change as he got older. There was my mom, aging as usual, and her husband wanted to see college girls with their clothes off. So it's not like these men 'get better' as they get older. Same-o same-o.
Hope this helps a little.
Question about porn.....
My long-time boyfriend is out of town frequently. Just discovered on his private computer that he looks at page after page after page of lesbian porn. He is a teacher of at-risk kids, always condemns porn as objectifying women, blah-blah-blah.
I feel like I'm going to vomit. Am I over-reacting perhaps? Hope so.
My "look" at Porn
I think it would be even worse if he were looking at kiddy porn or even same sex porn, i.e. males! I myself have looked at lesbian porn on Craigs List. Hey, I also looked at the guy ads, just curious. Way over 60, happily married, not looking, just curious.
husband's behavior due to porn, LOL
His behavior is NOT due to porn. If his behavior is so bad it is due to HIM...nothing evil caused him to be this way, just him and his choices.
I don't get what's so wrong with porn? If consenting adults are in it and consulting adults are viewing it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It does not mean the person looking at it is a deviant. Geez...some of you people have some serious hang ups with sex and sexuality.
Try to loosen up a little ladies, maybe life would be a little more fun.
to irritated/porn addiction?
Wow, you sure are trusting after seeing such a big change in behavior. I hope you don't get what I got: the greatest guy I could've wanted (good, prominent family, $, respect, the works). I won't fill in all the frills I got, but they were plenty, and I thought I was set. for life. And yes, he did love me dearly.
The thing I came to learn was that he had a porn addiction. It's something I've never experienced, and really hadn't typed about, either. I'm no fool, and had been with plenty of men before him, as we got married later than most, but this was a first for me. In the end it ruined our marriage. My point is that when you see strange things happen, don't poo-poo it. Only you know if something is amiss, and I believe you do. I hope I'm wrong, and I certainly hope you don't have to face what I did. It sickens me to think about the details of all that chapter, but now that we're no longer "one," I know that I can't fix him, and as long as he doesn't acknowledge his problem, he won't, either. Ironically, even now I'd be as supportive as possible if he were to shed the demons that are eroding him to his core, but he'll be the first to tell the world that there's nothing wrong with him.
Just something to think about. I hope you don't end up the way I did. I'm just glad I don't have all that anxiety anymore, and we're actually friends (or something like that).
Good luck.
If soft porn could possibly be more
NM
About 20 seconds of some porn got shown. Only in AZ, i think. nm
x
Octo-mom to be a porn star!!!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 – updated: 9:06 am EST February 25, 2009
The very public saga of octuplet mom Nadya Suleman has taken a lurid turn.
According to TMZ.com, Suleman has been offered $1 million by major porn distributor Vivid Entertainment to star in a porn movie.
Suleman became the subject of heavy scrutiny after the birth of the octuplets last month, after it was revealed that she already had six children. All 14 were conceived through in-vitro fertilization.
Vivid told TMZ that the company will give her family full medical and dental insurance if she becomes a "contract girl." According to the celebrity gossip Web site, that would mean Suleman would have to do "multiple videos."
TMZ said there was no word on whether Suleman was considering the offer.
Meanwhile, Suleman appears to have bigger worries than taking care of her 14 children.
Talk show host Dr. Phil McGraw said that she may have to prove she can handle the load, or else have hospital officials withhold her newborn octuplets.
McGraw said the 33-year-old unemployed mother called him Tuesday. She was distraught that Kaiser Permanente officials told her they were concerned about the babies living at her home near Los Angeles.
Property records show Suleman's mother is more than $23,000 behind on mortgage payments and the home is under threat of foreclosure.
Kaiser officials won't comment on Suleman's case.
Suleman has taped two episodes of McGraw's "Dr. Phil" show.
Almost all men look at porn! They love lesbian pics
I reall wouldn't worry about it! It's a billion $ industry - paid for by men of all ages and walk of life. Even if the don't buy porn I guarantee they love looking at beatuiful women in the grocery store or at church!
Adult porn is legal. It's not criminal to look it - I don't see what that has to do with his job! Every model/actress has documentation of her dob and government issued ID on file with the producer. The FBI can inspect these records at any time. Look at any "big" soft porn site (hustler, playboy, penthouse) and click on 2257 diclaimer.
I really wouldn't worry about it. I disagree with the above poster that it ruins lives!!!
Men buy printed porn, call phone sex lines, and view porn on the net simply to get off. It has nothing to do with an addiction or ruining his life! Even what we think of "kinky" may simply be a harlmess fetish/fantasy. He may not want to admit to his wife that he likes wearing women's panties, or that he loves women in fish net stockings. So he buys a mag for $10 and spends $20 on phone sex line or a web cam girl and gets to live it for 15 minutes.
This is me but I would rather have my traveling husband or my son in college look at Hustler and call a phone sex line than sleep with a woman and catch something nasty! I wouldn't want to discuss it with them over breakfast, but I wouldn't worry about it! :)
Porn sites are high risk for viruses - I would be more concerned about getting good anti-virus software on his computer.
Well, I can make a load of money too if I wanted to get into porn. and
having relations with other people, including women. It's a multi-billion dollar a year industry. It doesn't make it right. I can go and rob a bank tomorrow and make a ton of money, but it doesn't make it right.
I like what the Bible says about it - a decent man will make his money with an honest living.
Yeah, the True Blood series is basically like soft porn...
definitely not advisable for a 14 year old!!!
So is it sex addiction, or porn addiction? (sm)
Seems like there is a difference. How would one become a therapist for the stars with sex addiction? LOL.
Did not hear about the porn but did hear
there might be a conflict about her babies going home with her when they were able to be dismissed. You can hardly blame anyone for questioning how she will take care of them. From what I have seen, she hardly seems stable enough to do that.
|
