yep, regret marriage. been in it way too long to be unhappy and wasting life. nm
Posted By: unhappy on 2007-06-14
In Reply to: Do regret any of the following - things?
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Are you unhappy enough to leave? Your life is too short...
to spend it second guessing your relationship! It is either good or bad, worth fixing or not... It is your choice. If a man treats a woman like crap and she continues to take it she is also to blame. You can leave you know! There are good men out there, don't settle for less than what you deserve. If you want to be treated poorly those are the kind of man you are going to attract, the lousy ones. Women must stop being the victims. People treat you the way you LET THEM treat you. And those that say stay together for the sake of the children are nuts..especially if you have daughters, look at the example you are setting. I would much rather have a single parent (male or female) who was happy and well adjusted than be in a miserable two parent family where there is no mutual respect and love!
I have been single again as long as I was married and there is not a day I don't regret leaving s
BUT it was still the right thing to do. I have been happier since and I am fine on my own, but it was extremely tough as he didn't pay child support and I could not find a way to make him (not for lack of trying though and a social worker whose job it was to collect his arrears kept telling me no, I didn't really need it!). Financially it was terrible, but the relief of his absence was enormous.
He was critical. He was always rude. My friends would only come to visit when he was on the road. The kids would pick up their messes, but he made more than they ever did, never helped and constantly criticized me for not being a perfect housekeeper like his mom...who didn't work, had a housekeeper and spent her days at the mall shopping. I had more kids than she did, worked always and ended up being too exhausted for him. He is a homophobic homosexual and going out on "mommy and daddy" dates was always humiliating because he spent the evening looking at other men's behinds.
I got out and suffice it to say, at quite a price financially and emotionally. I have not remarried, have only had one relationship in 15 years and feel too damaged to ever try again, but I am FREE from all of that.
My kids were pleased when he left and were all too anxious to help him to leave the house!
Their hormones will get to them long before the marriage bug will. nm
s
Finances were a real sore spot in our marriage for a long time
But my husband was in the military for 12 years, and he was away quite a bit, so I had to take over the finances. When he was home and he was paying the bills, he would get so upset because he felt there wasn't enough money and "where does all the money go?" "why don't we ever have any left?" was all I heard. I finally told him I was taking them back over because I was sick of hearing that every month. I put everything on MS Money, categorize it, subcategorize it, and add memos, so if he wants to know exactly where the money is going, all he has to do is look.
Funny....he really hasn't complained a whole lot since.
This could be a life long battle about who gets what--sm
I say---exhume the body of the son, creamate both the son and Anna Nicole, share the ashes with anyone who wants a piece of her and the boy. Argument over.
jmo
Most of my life was a 36 almost A cup. Now older, just a 38 long. (sm)
One of my daughters was a 36D in junior high and was constantly ridiculed and harrassed over it. She used to have me put velcro between the buttons on shirts so they wouldn't gap. Now in her 30's she is okay with it but certainly doesn't try to flaunt them. Even wears mesh coverups to pool until she gets in the water at least.
You both are wasting your time (sm)
To first poster, there is no way he will go unless he gets good and scared, or hate to say it, but passes out or something. The poster about the dentist, if it were my DH and I made the appt, he wouldn't care, he still wouldn't go, nor would he cancel the appt. I made an appt once for him to have a "growth" removed from his face, cause we had argued about it for months, and he told me he wasn't going, and he wasn't. So I canceled it, cause I didn't want to put the doctor out. I have no idea why they are so pig-headed. I used to get so upset - but it was a waste of time. The only way he finally ended up at the dentist was because his last 2 front teeth broke off and it was obvious, so then he went. I know how you feel.
I get it but you are wasting your breath on them...
xx
I'm not really wasting time during the hours
that I am awake - it's just that right now I am having to work so many hours, almost all fun is squeezed out of my life. If I could sleep 4 hours a night, I could:
- always have the laundry caught up.
- always have my house clean.
- cook supper each and every night.
- keep my flowers weeded and watered.
- read at least a half an hour a day.
- spend time in devotions and meditation and prayer.
- exercise.
If I could accomplish these things throughout the week, then I could have each and every weekend FREE! I feel like I could gain my life back if I could somehow figure out this sleep thing.
Thanks everybody for your input. 
I have a Tracfone and don't like wasting my minutes....
I have one of the original TracFones and my fingers are too fat to text. The keys are too close together, so I don't bother with texting. LOL.
That would be why I would need a full keyboard if I were to ever get a lap top. LOL.
*time wasting* ?? Not fair statement
yeah well it's only wasting money when you lose
a deal when you could win millions. I can give up a few cups of coffee or something else rather than my lottery tickets!!
I really think your dog is unhappy and
has separation anxiety. Crating her all the time is not helping that in the least. Can you not work on spending more time with her outside of her crate? Yelling at her for normal dog behavior (trying to communicate with you by barking) really sounds a little cruel to me. Are you sure you want a pet at all?
Do regret any of the following
marriage (or not)
divorce
kids (or not)
Yes, there are always those few unhappy
people out there that always have to knock everyone else down because they are insecure, jealous or who knows why they do it.
Have you also noticed that crabby patty has not responded to anyone after her or his dumb remark???? Kinda of fun to give crabby a hard time back though.
has anybody ever been unhappy with the way
Don't get me wrong, my son's teeth are straight. but it's like he pulled forward 6 "front" teeth into a squared off shape, very prominent. They look very fake--think Miley Cyrus after veneers. I had braces also, by a different orthodontist and my teeth are more "rounded" and natural, if that makes sense. has anybody ever been unhappy with their results??
I have found images on the internet that are similar to our situation; these are not actual pictures of us.
Here's what his look like:
http://www.bracesbysouris.com/images/before_after1.jpg
here's what mine look like
http://www.seapointclinic.ie/images/After003.jpg
I am not unhappy at all.
I see no reason. Right now hubby and I both have jobs, able to buy like we want, vacations in the works, approaching a big b'day for me, gosh I just think life is really good at the present time. I have gone through so much in the past am thankful I have halfway security now and at good point to where I am enjoying my life.
Where do you get unhappy or miserable out of that
After a while, most of the physical attraction wears off. And usually unless it is a volatile type of relationship with a lot of bad fighting and make up sex i.e., so does the passion. Sad but true. You can love your husband very much but just not have the attraction or passion that was once there. It doesn't mean you are unhappy, just normal.
I had one 29 years ago and DO NOT REGRET IT AT ALL. SM
Never have had a second thought. Zero guilt. It was the right decision for my life and my family at the time. I am a good citizen now, good job, loving spouse and family. To those of you saying it is wrong under any circumstance - you have no right to judge me; that's between me and my God.
but do you honestly regret...
Having them? That's harsh, IMHO...of course! I'm sorry you don't have a good adult relationship with your children...that's gotta be my worst fear (well, one of them anyway)...God bless
Sounds very much like he is unhappy with HIMSELF!
Hope you do not waste any more time with this guy. There ARE better ones out there.
Not all regret their first encounter
I started early at 15 and I don’t regret it, only regretted probably not more with the same guy. I was in 10th and finished school without another encounter but I would disagree with a psychological impact- just does not apply to all.
Only regret was not doing it sooner
Thrilled with the results. I continue to have periods every month, but they are so much more manageable.
Just think of how many of them are unhappy in relationships though,
their spouse or SO for someone they co-star with. Im just thinking it takes a very strong person to see or think about the one you love kissing and becoming intimate with someone else, even if it is "pretend", and then to have them say they liked it"? Give me a break, that would be insulting to the spouse or SO - IMO.
I know I could not do it, and I am not usually a jealous person.
I don't regret leaving either...
Been gone since last August and couldn't ask for a better company to work for now. I owe MQ a lot as they did hire me right after I graduated my MT course and I did learn a lot while I was there, but having said that, I haven't looked back once since leaving.
I regret mine too
I had horrible teeth, as well, from a young age and went through many procedures to have a better orthodontic benefit. after having gotten the dentures though, I experienced also that they were too big and looked worse than they felt, leaving me looking like Bugs Bunny. I am on my third set of dentures since 1994, and I am still not satisfied with how they look or feel. I rarely wear them when I am at home alone. I have a difficult time eating anything with them and usually eat (at home) without them. I am sure this is causing some digestive problems, as well, but when they hurt to wear them, what can you do? I have thought seriously about implants, but these are so expensive and for those of us with NO insurance, much less very poor dental insurance, I cannot afford those either. Think long and hard about dentures. I understand your plight and dentures may seem like a good option, but they are not always what they are stated to be, either. I hope you find a good solution. I would take my horrible teeth back in a second, to at least be able to eat. good luck to you.
You'll never regret see inside
being home with your children. They will grow and will become more independent, and then you can work you life away on-site. That is the avenue I am currently taking, and boy is it a nice feeling to be home with them. Good luck to you, and I know it is a tough decision. 
Sounds like your unhappy friend........ sm
just got a bad-fitting set of dentures. Has she seen a dentist or denture specialist about this? Hopefully she can get them either adjusted or a new pair. I believe the change in her life would justify the expense more than adequately if she has to hide to eat, etc.
I am not an unhappy person for the most part - sm
I am unhappy about gaining so much weight since I have become a MT, but there are many factors contributing to the issue, not just the fact I sit on my but for 10-12 hours a day.
I picked out my ring and absolutely regret it!
I really wish I would have had him do it all and we would have just slowed down. I love my husband to pieces, but it would have been nice to have a proposal and a surprise to see my ring for the first time. We kind of just agreed to get married and then went ring shopping together, but now I wish there had been more romance involved. Just let the boy pick it out - If he knows you well enough like he should if you plan on marrying him, then he'll surely pick out something you like.
Regret not running off with my present husband who used to be my
friend. Yes, my friend and my late husbands friend. We started dating after the other died and if I had known what he was like then, would have left the husband and the kids behind. Never have known such happiness in my life. I wasted years and would like to have those over again- life goes too fast to waste time.
I had a similar problem, had the surgery, and only regret
Abdominal surgery is no walk in the park, but it improved my life 1,000% to get rid of all that unnecessary 'equipment'. (Never wanted kids, anyway.) I was only 34 when I had the surgery - wish I could've had it at age 14!
Trolls like this generally are very unhappy people.......... sm
the problem is they don't realize it. She obviously does need people in her life, as evidenced by her posting on this board.
What do you think is the "one" thing that is making you unhappy?
Money?
No girlfriend or boyfriend?
Being lonely?
Hating your job?
Not having your dream job?
Being away from family?
Being away from friends?
Not being in that school environment?
If you had to pick one thing, what do you think is the main cause of your unhappiness?
For me, it is probably not having that dream career....A career helps you feel more secure, worthy, gives purpose, makes you more confident, etc.
I have a life, a great life at that. I just happen to include my canine family
t
Office; Life on Mars; Lost; Life; Pushing Daisies
nm
Depends if it is long with pregnant pause um no. If it is long and juicy like an op YEP! Short ones
x
I had it during my pregnancy a long, long time ago. Husband
aa
How long is too long to wait for Pap results?
This is a follow up Pap for an abnormal one a few months back. I have waited for the results for over a month and have called the office once. Any advised about being a patient patient - LOL. Its hard when your in this business, I think anyway, not to be more aggressive about stuff like this.
That would definitely not be enough for me to consider it a marriage. sm
why do you all think you need some obviously lame guy to complete you? Is it just youth and hormones?
marriage
You are so fortunate. In this day and age, everyone is all about "me". My husband has no CLUE what it means to "work as a team." He simply cannot grasp it at all. He does what he wants to, when he wants to and how he wants to, whenever he wants to. If I ask too many questions he gets angry at me. I am now figuring out 15 years later that I made a pretty big mistake by marrying him. However, we have three beautiful children, and the one thing we do agree on is that they need both parents to raise them. My husband would argue the color of the sky if he was in the mood. He is contrary simply to be contrary. I give up. He gives me the information he thinks I need to have. I don't ask him for anything anymore because he absolutely will not do it (help with getting everything done, i.e., housework, paying bills, makign phone calls, etc.). All of the concerns I had before we got married (which I did bring up to him) have come true. I should have known it. People just DO NOT know how to work together anymore.
marriage
I think we are raising our sons to be "mama's boys" and not be the proper leaders they need to be. Plus, in this day and age of no boundaries, children have no guidance and absolutely no direction. My husband does not have a plan from one minute to the next. It is absolutely crazy. he cannot set a goal and reach it if his life depended on it. We just wait to see what he is going to do next. I honestly never know what he is going to come up with. He absolutely adores his children, and they feel the same. I have seen what divorce does to the children, I will not do that to mine. But sometimes, I just want to scream. Thanks for allowing me to vent. I have asked him to go to counseling, but he doesn't see a need (he has everything he needs). I will teach my children what to look for in a mate and the warning signs. Hopefully they won't have the trouble that I have had.
Marriage
Marriage is a relationship that you have to take care of each other first and always. He should always think about what makes you happy and you the same. You both should be covered at all times. There needs to be ongoing communication so you both can determine what makes things work for you. Most marriages fail because people don't want to talk and would rather "mind read" or assume. You know what they say about assume. You should always treat your spouse like he/or she is the most important person in the world and is first in your life. If you have someone that takes advantage of that and does not appreciate it, then that is not the one for you. Ignorance and immaturity takes kindness for weakness. A mature man or woman knows that that is how they should be treated and how they should treat their mate.
Second marriage
I'm planning to get married for the second time. My last marriage was 17 years ago and I've been on my own with my 14 y.o. son for almost 10 years. For my last wedding I dotted all the I's and crossed all the T's but I was so exhausted I didn't even enjoy the wedding. I think I have a mental block for wedding planning now because I never really thought I'd be doing it again. However, I have zero doubt that I want to be with this man. We both just want to be together and can't decide whether to just go on a trip and get married or have something small with our families and a few close friends. We think it would be nice to have our immediate families help us start our marriage off but I can't seem to make myself think about planning things and picking things out. Mainly I'd just like to wear a pretty dress (not necessarily even a wedding dress and definitely not an elaborate one). It seems if you start planning to have one thing it calls for another. I've looked at some of the wedding checklists and it makes my head hurt to think about picking out cakes, etc. I don't want anything tacky but I don't want to spend a lot of time on details. Any ideas? Also, what are your thoughts on giving your future husband a wedding gift. A do or not? Thanks so much for any advice you have to offer. I don't think we are going to wait long at all so I won't have much time to plan a lot anyway, which suits me just fine.
Second marriage
I live in Eastern North Carolina. There seems to be a lot of placed in Tennessee that look pretty romantic too. I'm browsing through those now.
Second marriage
Lots of great ideas. Thanks so much. I really like the iPod idea.
I think she needs to get out of the marriage - NOW!! (sm)
That could end up being a dangerous situation as well. I have had female friends from this type of cultural background who had to go into hiding from their own brothers to keep from being beaten to death for the crime of dating a white man. She really needs to get out now before they have children.
What is there to think about? Marriage...
is taking a vow.
vow
verb [T]
to make a determined decision or promise to do something, which includes not sleeping with other women and no cheating WHATSOEVER. He broke the Vow.
Marriage is a vow.
Of course I understand that marriage is a vow. Marriage is also a commitment. Problems that seem insurmountable sometimes are not, given time.
Before your marriage, did you or did you not....
Let your DH see you in your wedding gown?
Marriage Help
Am hoping to hear advise from other in my shoes. Been married 18 years and completely and totally unhappy. Husband doesn't beat me, is a good provider, just not in love any longer. Kids involved under age 14. Do I stay or do I go? Trying to stay until kids leave house but very hard - hard to even look at him. He has told me i am average but he love me, has corrected all my mistakes throughout the years, because only he and God are perfect oh but he loves me more than anything! A year ago he wrote me a letter that pointed out all my flaws and could not understand why I wanted him to leave. Please advise. I am so terribly sad and miserable and don't know what to do. State I live in very expensive and would never want to move my kids elsewhere. Hints on staying in an unhappy marriage would be great.
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