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y huby and have pretty much the same kind of relationship as you mg

Posted By: trose on 2007-02-27
In Reply to: I have a great marriage, and i will tell you what we do - mg

We have both learned where our strengths and weaknesses are. When our children were toddlers and it was bedtime I began losing my patience. Their constant getting up and fighting sleep didn't seem to bother him, so he handled bedtime. We share homework duties, I do the laundry and most of the cooking, he and the children clean up after dinner. He likes to cook on Sundays. It has been working great for 19 years.


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Ha ha...that's pretty funny...well, and kind of scary:-) nm

People don't choose their face...plus she's kind of pretty! sm

Sometimes the shallowness of people overwhelms me.  Why can't we just give credi where it is due and admit the woman has a great body, especially for her age, or just say nothing?  Why do we need to insult her? I do have a very pretty face and I do need to lose weight but I don't feel a need to hurt anyone else to make myself feel better.


The drinkin kind or the rubbin kind?? sm
So....is that for me to drink so I don't notice or care that my hands are all splotchy black or to get the ink off?    Seriously though, do I use the rubbing alcohol - or like Jack Daniels??  and do I soak in it or what?  I never heard of using alcohol but I'll try anything. 
How is your relationship with God? If not God, do you have sm
any spirituality in your life at all? I was exactly where you were....then I found Jesus. Late in life. He has given me purpose and pure contentment.

Nothing satisfies like Jesus and I've done it all: Alcoholism, rx drugs, bad relationships, etc.

Now I'm teaching a Bible study class, have a thriving marriage (after a horrible divorce) and am just very, very peaceful and happy.

Whenever someone like you comes to me with thoughts just like yours, I tell them about God and His saving grace. Will pray for you that you find the contentment you are so searching for.
relationship help

My fiance and I live together - been together 4 years - living together 3 months - supposed to get married this year. . Most of the time, everything is great.  He gets stressed out about finances, makes a rude remark to me about my lack of house cleaning ability, I get mad and go off by myself for a few hours - he gets even madder and starts saying our relationship is over, etc. . He leaves for several hours, comes home and we make up. . I am having a hard time with this. . I feel like I have to react a certain way or this whole blow up is going to happen. . I love him and know he loves me - I just don't understand how something so small can turn into something so big. . Anyone with any advice?


MIL-SIL relationship has nothing to do with
SIL's feelings for the daughter, just like MIL's feelings for him have nothing to do with her feelings for her daughter.
relationship
Is this how you want your life to be because he will not change even if he decides he is "ready" to marry you. Everything he does now he will continue to do. You definitely deserve better. Good luck.
she was in control of that relationship
x
Yes, your relationship will change sm

The first three months or so you will both be so tired you won't know how you can possibly make it, but you will. If you have family close by to help, that is great (I was an Air Force wife, so we were far from both our families). Hopefully, though, you will start to see your husband in a whole new light. I know I did. He had never had much use for children before, although I knew he loved animals, so that's always a good sign. He would spend hours playing with our cats, and he loved to sit and watch TV with one or both of the cats in his lap. To me, that showed a loving heart.


He had a lot of learning to do, but he became a wonderful father. Seeing that, I fell in love with him all over again. He became much more open emotionally, primarily with our son, but some of that spilled over into our relationship as well. And having a child together bonds a couple together like nothing else. Here is this wonderful being who is a part of BOTH of you, and who you both love like you never thought you could love another human being.


Sure, there will be difficulties. There will be times when he wants sex and you are so exhausted all you want to do is sleep for a week. There will be times when you are so focused on the baby you won't realize you are neglecting him. But if you are aware of all these possibilities, you are less likely to let the situation go on so long that it becomes a problem.


Good luck to you, whatever happens.  


The whole relationship should have been a no-brainer
Frankly, I thought he should have been given more punishment myself, but I don't think the DA/ADA really put a lot of effort into it. As I mentioned, they were going to accept the SIS until I pointed out that I didn't approve on the basis that it's not like another conviction would be destroying a lily-white record, at which point the ADA flipped through the file and said, "Wow, this guy belongs in jail." Going into it, the 'scoop' on the judge were that the 3 things he hated most were drunks, deadbeat dads, and woman-hitters, and the ex was the trifecta (he's about $1100 behind in his child support), but somehow he got to skate away. I do have mixed feelings about the sentence; I wasn't really injured, but on the other hand that was only because I called before it got worse.

I have my own share of self-esteem issues, which is why I stuck it out as long as I did. The only thing Dr. Phil ever said that made sense to me was, "We generate the reality we think we deserve." So I'm spending some quality time channeling Stuart Smalley and doing my self-affirmations, have blocked his phone, and am generating my new reality.
re the relationship with your daughter...
My sister-in-law, a wonderful woman, has a 30-something daughter, and she is struggling with their relationship.  She has recently decided to let things go for a while - for her own sanity.  She tells me that there have been problems with their relationship since her daughter was just a child.  It pains her to think that she may never have a good relationship with her.  My sister-in-law has 2 other children that she has a wonderful relationship with.  I think, sadly enough, that sometimes it just works out that way.  We have discussed the possibility of her daughter having psychiatric/emotional issues that could be hindering the relationship process - I don't know whether or not that could be an issue with your daughter.  The bottom line is, in my opinion, you can only do what you can do.  I don't think a parent should EVER give up on their children, but there may come a time when you have to realize that it is what it is, and you just have to accept that and worry about taking care of yourself.  Good luck to you.
Dont know where your relationship has gone wrong but
my husband and I have been married now for 7 years and he is feely, smoochy, kind, considerate, loving, can have a grab each and any time he wants it. I thank my lucky stars to have found him at my late age. I dont know what has turned the love to disgust for you but I do not feel normally this would be a turnoff for most women, certainly not me. My love just deepens every minute we are together. I will say that I have an ole high school friend (this is her second marriage) that says identical things as you are saying. She and the fellow have no children together but frankly, I would not stay because of the children, never. Your children will suffer in a situation like this. My children grown when I met the present husband but I was divorced, raised the children and would not subject them to more unpleasantness. I think my friend and her husband will come to divorce eventually. Just do not believe you can overcome the disgust when it should be pure heaven by his touch.

a believer in God, personal relationship with God

My spirituality comes from many places...


Mother Teresa said:


People are often unreasonable and self-centered.  FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.


If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.  BE KIND ANYWAY.


If you are honest, people may cheat you.  BE HONEST ANYWAY.


If you find happiness, people may be jealous.  BE HAPPY ANYWAY.


The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.  DO GOOD ANYWAY.


Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.  GIVE YOUR BEST ANYWAY.


For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.  IT NEVER WAS BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY.


-----------


And that, my fellow MTs/MEs, is something we all should contemplate!


Have a GREAT week!!!


 


I agree - no kids, why do they have to have a relationship?
nm
does anyone besides me have a bad relationship with a grown daughter or son?
with one of your grown-up kids, or is it only me? My oldest daughter and I do not get along, never did. I love her, but am not sure if I like her. She is very selfish and self centered and it's all about her. Everyone else see's it but her. Of course, there's a lot more to it, but last night she sent me a letter saying basically she's done with me.....not sure at all where this is coming from. I really, really don't need this right now. So, is anyone else in any kind of a similar situation with an adult child? She's 38.

I'm so glad you have that type of relationship! That's how it should be. (sm)
She has every opportunity to come here and let them get to know her and then they would probably be happier going to her house. She is always so busy every time they see her. I would love for them to want to go to her house. It is so ridiculous for people to say it is me influencing them.
Death of someone you have a close relationship
even if they are not related by blood.

In 1990, my husband and I decided for the first time since we had been married to spend Thanksgiving with his family instead of with my family (we always did a Sunday Thanksgiving with his family before because my family was so large and his family was smaller).

My father died that Thanksgiving night. It took me 10 years to forgive myself for not being there that day. I have empathy for anyone who suffers a loss around a holiday, but hey, that's just me.
I'm glad they have a good relationship, too, but it's NOT
superficial to know your spouse's past history including his education.  Why be so secretive about something so mundane?  Is she going to love him any less (or more) whether he did or didn't finish high school - probably not.  Is it going to change how he treats her now if she knows - probably not.  Even if it changed everything about their relationship, she's still his wife, and to not know his education level after 30+ years of knowing each other is just a wee bit strange to me.  Once again, in my opinion, he's supposed to be her best friend, her confidante, the one person in the world she can trust anything to.  Why the evasiveness?  JMO
I feel so sorry for you. Please rethink your relationship with this man.
.
Long Distance relationship
I think you answered your own question without realizing it. You still want to see new places, experience something new. To move back would mean you would probably never get to do those things...they are dreams you have, don't live your life wishing you had done what you wanted to do. Great relationships are easy to have when there are so many miles between you, when you are living together everyday it will be a whole different situation. Right now you have so little time together you make sure those few hours are perfect or as close to it as they can be. If you stay in this LD relationship you can still move someplace else and see exciting things, you will just find a way to see each other from another location.

What would you do if you got a fantastic, once in a lifetime, can't turn it down opportunity for something tomorrow, would you take it or would you throw that chance away to move back home where you don't really want to be? When you answer that question you will have your answer.
Are you considering a long-term relationship
with this gentleman? If so, you might want to give some serious thought to his money issues as they could very well become your money issues.

His joke was probably just an attempt to be funny, though rather clumsy and thoughtless. Since it bothers you, you could discuss it with him and tell him why it made you angry and base your next move on his response.

It would be his actual money issues that would be of greatest concern to me.
I mean:..'not a very close relationship....nm
nm
once the trust is gone, so is the love, and the relationship..sm
be completely honest with him..now, before he gets out of rehab. If he is doing it only for you or to get you back, it is never going to work and it is just a matter of time before HE feels comfortable enough to start drinking again. You sound pretty sure that you want it to be over, so see a lawyer and start divorce proceedings now. don't wait for him to get out and start things all over again. You have to be up front about YOUR feelings, as well. Do not lead him on thinking there is hope. If telling him how you feel puts him back into drinking again, that is his problem and not yours. It would only serve to prove that he was not serious about stopping drinking anyway, and helping himself, but only a means to get back into your life. Do not take on the guilt. He is responsible for his ownself, and you are responsible for you. But do not let his expectations of coming back go on any longer. He has a right to know how you feel now, before it is too late. You already know in your heart that things will go back to the way they were before, if you let him come back. Show him how serious you are, be honest, and start the actions you need to extricate yourself from the situation. He will not change.. trust me on that one. I have been there too.
Well, any healthy relationship should be close to equal
My husband works FT and still helps out a lot around the house. I only work PT, so I usually do the cooking, helping our daughter with homework and most of the cleaning. My husband always cleans the kitchen after I cook (and vice versa) though and he cleans the bathrooms. We also alternate doing the laundry. So, I'd say everything evens out to be pretty close to 50/50 in our relationship. We are truly best friends and we treat each other as such, and I would never dream of "serving" my man - that's just a ridiculous statement! I even had that part taken out of our wedding vows! If it becomes a problem where you feel like you're being taken advantage of, then you need to sit down with your husband and let him know that he needs to pull his own weight or you won't be happy. Good luck!
Anyone had a relationship with a person in jailr or prison?
Is it someone you knew or have you gotten to know them since they went to prison? Do you write them or visit?
I have a love/hate relationship with the thing.

Keeps me roasty toasty...In that picture there the wind chill put the temperature to -25, the kind of cold where your eyes steam and then that steam frosts your lashes up.  It's very dangerous. 


HOWEVER, these coverall things are designed for dudes with no curves, so the crotch winds up going down to your knees and you wind up walking like a penguin.  I have wiped out in it and I feel like the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka where they have to roll her away.


No way, no day would you find me in California or anywhere outside of New England.  It's best I don't venture too far away from my mental health care providers, know what I'm sayin?



I just some at Tractor Supply I've got my eye on (Man, I'm such a hick!) that are actually specifically tailored for women, so a set of those are on my wish list along with that split keyboard. 


 


Can you close the door on your relationship and not look back? sm
Of course, you will need to be in touch for the sake of the children, but you as a person need to be able to look back and have no *what ifs* to ponder about.  You need to know in your head you have turned over every stone and mustered every bit of strength in your possession and tried everything you possibly could before you end this.  Otherwise, it will forever sit like a huge weight on your back and make it hard on in life.  You also need to be able to speak about your husband in an objective manner for the sake of the children.  I agree with the other poster who suggested counseling for the children.  Please consider that no matter what else you decide for yourself.  Oh, how I do wish my parents had done the same for me as a child.  Their relationship has left me with wounds so easily reinjured and made some things in life very tough for me.  Best wishes to you.
relationship question, pls need confirmation/advice

A younger (like 20 years younger) has fallen for me.  He knows what he wants in life; tired of the young girls who play the mind games, etc.  What are our chances of having a good relationship together.  I am definitely attracted to younger men always.


Thanks for any advice or any experience you may have.


long distance relationship - dead end?

I've been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. About 1000 miles apart....we see each other once a month and it's great for the most part. We miss each other a lot, talk everyday, and almost never fight. We get along great and truly prioritize and look forward to our meetings.


Our only problem is....the long distance thing has no end in site. Neither of us are planning (or willing) to relocate to the other's location just yet. He feels that I should 'come home' back to where our friends and family are, where we both grew up.....I feel he should get out and experience new things while we are young.


I still want to see new places, maybe move again, experience something new again, and am simply not ready (if ever) to move back. So what should I do? Bite the bullet and move back? Does this mean we have reached an impasse that will not work? Sometimes I worry that we are on a dead end road, but I could not imagine splitting because we have such a great relationship.


ANY relationship based on lies is doomed to failure

I feel that is best too. I have been kind, very kind, to this ...sm
child since he moved here in March. I also am not one of those parent's that thinks my children are perfect. You never know what they might do out of your presence. I do know how I have raised them though and I am all for getting them all together when there is a problem and getting to the bottom of it but anymore that doesn't seem to work. The parents automatically get defensive and start making excuses, etc. I'm going to look for somewhere else to move. I've lived here for 2-1/2 years and we never had a problem until this boy moved in. His mother is a piece of work.
Your relationship is truly blessed and an inspiration to others. Congrats and Love long! :) nm
s
Normal nerves, BUT you and your relationship w/hubs will change & evolve, hopefully
s
that is a pretty big
generalization... you can't know everyone's story and how they ended up with bad credit. There are people out there who are irresponsible and do earn it and sadly many people are also taking advantage of the bankruptcy laws in the same manner, making it harder on those with true misfortunes or catastrophes. But don't stereotype everyone into one group, it isn't fair to do that.
I like that name that's pretty

Have others over, pretty soon will not have
to worry about that with the parents of the other child calling? She said parents almost did not let them come over again. If I were the other parents probably would not think visiting this child would be a good idea on second thought if the husband acting up. I might opt for entertainment for the children somewhere besides where he would be unless he could keep that trap shut.
Pretty much....
The thing is, it's not guaranteed either. It "may" prevent you from getting HPV. The thing is, with regular paps, you can prevent/detect/treat just the same. I just don't feel they have done enough research on this vaccine to have released it and a lot of the severe side effects that have been experienced are really troubling. I know there are side effects with everything but there seems to be an abundance of really severe side effects and some girls have died from it. Also, from what I ready, it is only good for 5 years. They are now saying young women (ages 24 to something, can't remember if it was 35 or 36) should also look into taking it. I would just prefer to stick to my yearly paps as I know they are not going to cause any side effects. Also, as another person stated, we don't know what kind of effects these will produce down the road. It's just scary that they will come up with something, only test it for 6 months, release it and expect it to be made mandatory for girls of certain ages, and without really knowing if there are any long-term effects. Anyway, sorry for rambling. :)
Pretty dog! nm
nm
Fox is so pretty!!! sm

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  I think it's wonderful that you posted this information for others to read.  I had never heard of dogs tracheas collapsing, so this was new info I learned.  Thank you for sharing. 


 


Pretty cat! (sm)

The Christmas packages without bows reminded me of my cat, Flannel, who had a bow fetish.  I could never leave wrapped presents around once bows were on because Flannel would sneak in and pierce every bow with her teeth.  I saw her do it the first couple of times and she'd close her eyes and chomp with a look of ecstacy.  She was a freak. 


Pretty?!?
..She looks like a he-she - she looks manish with a strong jaw. I really don't see where people are calling her pretty.

It's sad, so sad that women will sell their bodies to attain a lifestyle of comfort. It's sad that a man in Gov. Spitzer's position of great power, influence, and celebrity, would buy sex. These characters are examples of the lower base human beings. I don't feel sorry for the girl. I don't feel sorry for the gov. Theirs is a gross and base existence. No souls inside of them. There are plenty of people who rise from abuse, terrible pain and injustice, and became decent human beings and exceptional ones at that. What these two did, anyone can do, common, but most human beings rise above the animal in them. What they did any animal can do. The girl will go on to pose in a nudie magazine, cry about how misunderstood she is, boo-hoo,and make millions. He'll get some type of so-called rehabilitation and all will be forgotten until the next sex scandal. There is a fine line that divides humans and animals. We know what side they were on.
Yep, that's pretty much what I think, too.
We have our little spats but things are pretty good and I wouldn't trade him for anybody else (obviously). 
I'm pretty sure....
the Total Pay card is not affiliated with a bank. It used to be affiliated with US Bank, get 2 free tell withdrawals a month and 2 free ATM withdrawals a month, but they no longer are affiliated with them that I know of. You could probably Google it and find out. I know my friend had one and she could actually put money on it, despite her pay being direct deposited on it. I could never put money on mine, except for the direct deposit of my pay.
Pretty name : )
Thanks for the stats. It is always fun to hear. Not matter which way her hair color goes, I'm sure she will at least have some red highlights. Very pretty!

Another thing I told my daughter is to not take her baby too seriously when he gets into a crying fit. He has a bit of her emotional personality. He will get wound up and then need to scream it out even when he has gotten what he needs. Lol Sometimes it can feel like they are yelling at you or something and gets upsetting (especially when tyring so hard to be a good mother). I told her just realize he has emotions bursting out and just let it happen.

I will say that looking back at when my kids were babies, you can really see their personality right from the start. :)
He sounds wonderful...sounds like you two have a relationship (sm)
based on love and nothing superficial at all. I'm glad you appreciate him and are so grateful for him. Best wishes & continued happiness to you both :-)
Ooooh pretty!

Yeah, it is pretty bad, when you

pull out your Stedman's and there's a dust bunny on it larger than the cat!  lol  


Googling, googling, googling....... away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


It was pretty bad, at one point she was trying
way too hard, did you see her body jerking? It was bizarre. And she still couldn't get it out nearly as good as either one of the other two girls. She's never been a great singer, it's been said often. Just another one that's more show and not so much talent pushed into the biz by her parents. I never really followed her music and have to say I was very surprised she was that bad.
all of those plants are pretty well known -
but how many flower arrangements have lillies - and I had never heard about that.  So - no cut flowers either.  Nope, he had never had any wet food in his entire life.  The vet is still perplexed - we have done renal ultrasounds and blood work.  His BUN and creatinines were off the charts.  I frankly don't know how he is still alive at this point. 
Well said!!! Pretty much sums it up.
I wish more people in the world thought like you. It would be a much better place. =)
Maks is pretty hot too - at least he's
still around.