wow
Posted By: anon on 2007-09-15
In Reply to: Thanks.. - Stressed out Mom..
You really have been through a word I can't use here. I am SO sorry for you!! If I were you--and these may not be the correct suggestions, but it's what I would do--I'd find a lawyer to explain to me how the mental health system works in your state and if there are any loopholes to get around the no insurance problem. Also find out if she does attempt suicide, what are your options to bring charges if there are any to bring against these facilities and use let them know you know this when you deal with them if they turn you away. Give the impression you know what you're doing and will be a pain they don't want to deal with unless they help you.
Then I'd also go talk to a therapist or a psychiatrist and explain what is going on not just with her but how it's affecting you. They might have leads, contacts, to get her help when someone in the trade realizes how adversely YOU are being affected by this too. Then it becomes the lives of 2 people and not just 1. And as a mental health provider, they might get themselves in big trouble if they don't try to help you if you say she is suicidal and no one will help and they ignore you too. (Not sure on this one but I think it's worth a try.)
Every single time she threatens suicide, call the cops on another phone. Keep her on the phone and maybe they can trace it. Be a royal pain to them too. She sounds like a handful to put it lightly and maybe where you live there isn't much that can be done. Maybe they are waiting for some sign of evidence for carrying this through like an actual attempt. Unfortunaly, that may be their criteria for getting on the ball and actually doing something to help.
All in all though, no matter whether you get help from someone or not, she is an adult and responsible for her own decisions. That really is the bottom line hard as it hurts you and please understand--I'm not trying to hurt you by saying this. But that's just how it is and sometimes the decisions those nearest and dearest to us make are the ones that tear us apart inside but we are not God -- we don't have the power to change someone. Only He does. What we can do is pray for a miracle, which is what I've done with my family and do as much as we can with the resources here on earth that we have, limited and insufficent though they seem to be. He is the one who can turn them to her benefit somehow or change her. All you can do is do what you can and look with faith and trust to Him to handle the rest. This is how miracles happen if He wishes to grant one.
I have a family member who sounds like her. She's done a turn-around and I attribute it to prayer. No one could do anything with her either or get through to her. Heavily into narcs, alcohol, stealing. Don't know what the triggering grace was but she just finally decided one day she wasn't going to live like that anymore. Started attending meetings, saw where her life was heading, got her act together. No one ever thought it would happen. Her family ridicules religion. They were depending on human help alone. I asked for a miracle.
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