what??? He walks out on his mom when she tells him to stay in the house, and do not ground him????
Posted By: anon. on 2007-09-11
In Reply to: why ground him? - see message
I am sorry, but she was absolutely right to ground him. He is hanging around with kids that are way older than him and drinking... You think it is okay to let that go?? I say he needs to learn that he is not the one in charge of this family and thatn Mom is... Every family has rules for their children and if the rules for that family are broken, it is the responsiblity of the parents to dish out the consequences. Yes encourage the good behavior and by all means tell them that you love them unconditionally every day (several times), but you are not their buddy, you are their parent
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Stay away from anyone who tells you to snap out of it...
they are the ones who truly need help! I lost my dad and a grandson within a day of each other 18 months ago and still have not gotten over it. Granted, it is not on my mind as often as it was at first, but it is still everyday that I think about them. I truly have not had a good grief session over it. My doc said it will happen when I least expect it. He also suggested grief counseling and I am now starting to think I do need it. I am sorry for your loss. When our parents go it just reminds us of our own mortality. Good luck to you.
Is it rude to ask to stay at someone's house (sm)
My husband wants us to go to Orlando and stay with his old work buddy and his family (me, him and our two children) to go to Disney. He hates to spend money on a hotel. I have not seen these people in about 10 years - my husband still talks to the guy occasionally on the phone. I barely know the wife. They did not invite us, my husband just wants to call and ask if we can all stay there a couple of nights. I am really uncomfortable with this and said no and he is mad because he thinks it is perfectly acceptable. Is it??
Not me - I think she will get to stay under house arrest - what a joke
nm
Could at least go on walks with her.
x
I second the walks idea
I walk my dog every day rain, snow or sunshine. You can't expect a dog to get exercise in a fenced in back yard, you must walk them every day. Does wonders for them emotionally and behavioraly.
Being close does not make it okay that she walks
x
I will try to avoid BEING on the phone when he walks in and if he
comes in while I am on the phone I release myself from the phone call just out of courtsey. My friend does the same thing. However, I am not afraid to talk on the phone while my husband is here. My girlfriend and I go for weeks without talking due to busy schedules, and once we find the time, we are on the phone for no less than a hour, usually more!!!
My older girl, Emerald, walks around like an old lady but
where I used to live we would get small mice (well, had a couple of big ones also before) and you would not think she could get up any speed but she sprang into action and was everywhere getting the mouse. At an ungodly hour 1 morning my hubby shouted out I just LOVE that cat and when I asked what in the world was going on, found out she had captured and killed a huge rat! He later on bought me the most precious gift I have ever gotten, came home with 2 brothers, black and white kittens who have grown into the more gorgeous boys. These 3 are so joyful to me. By the way, looked at the exotic cats on line before but after reading watch out when you open doors, even though they were beautiful, would hate to pay that much and zip out the door. My kids tell time also, every night around 8 when time to get off, they are right at my heels meowing. They know it is treat time.
He's beautiful! Enjoy many happy hours of walks
s
why ground him?
he may relate to this group, he has not been in trouble, these people may understand how feels about his life. His test was negative, why ground him, no doubt he is upset by what you did. Explain to him that alcohol is a lot more dangerous than marijuana. Keep dumb____ brother in law away, he is ignorant; tell every one so. Tell your son he is important. Tell him you love him, daily.
Wow - that could be a lot of ground
to cover! I'm in NC, and I'd save that trip for a time where you just want to relax at the beach or enjoy the mountains.
DC was great, but wow did it wear us out. The Metro was the way to go for getting around, but there was still a lot of acreage to cover on foot. That's one place it would be nice if they offered those motorized stand-up vehicles like mailmen use, but you'd need to be able to get one every time you got off the Metro.
I have 3 lbs of ground beef, and...
Personally, I could eat cheeseburgers every night, but the boys are pretty tired of that. And I'm tired of all the other 'regulars' like meatloaf and tacos, and even shepherd's pie. What else is quick and somewhat simple that is 'throw-together' from the pantry?
Of course, my 4-year-old is finicky, and I usually give him the options of eating whatever I make or going hungry, but hopefully I'll get some suggestions that might be up his alley, too.
I have 1 lb of ground beef in the
fridge and expect my husband to call any time now to ask "what's for dinner". Any ideas? Yesterday I suggested taco salad, chili mac, chili and plain ole hamburgers but all got vetoed. Of course, he had no suggestions to help me out.
Ground beef
Ground beef
Tator tots
french style greenbeans - drained really well
cream of mush. soup diluted with milk enough to pour over top
Brown ground beef with your favorite seasonings.
Spray bottom of a baking dish with pam, layer with tator tots, spread green beans over that, then ground beef and top with cream of mush soup bake til hot and bubbly.
Stand your ground. Some day she will really "grow up" and
appreciate your concerns and your advice.
It's hard to be mom some days aint it?
Hang in there.
Cars that drive on the ground.
I was sure everybody would be having cars that fly by now.
Also, I thought that sidewalks would move and we would not have to walk at all.
I never thought we'd still be cooking on top the stove, I thought there would be replicators (little machines we hit a button and comes out our supper or drinks).
For some reason, the Walt Disney version of the future, a ride which no longer exists in Orlando, BTW was my idea of the 21st century. Turns out that it is much different.
Yet, what do we have that we would have never thought about?
The Internet. 30 years ago such an idea would seem impossible.
My dog Misha ate my rose bushes to the ground.
I saw her gobble up a rose my neighbor had just cut and laid on the ground.
My dad has trouble with squirrels snipping blooms and live branches off his hydrangeas, so they could be the culprit. And rabbits are notorious for stuff like that. You could try tying a terrier out there to guard them when you are home during the day I suppose.
-15 in Nebr tonight, snow on the ground
and have a cedar tree up ! now it feels like Christmas!! We had a high of 3 degrees today...but will warm up to 20s tomorrow and thats gonna feel like t=shirt weather :)
Melitta is wonderful if you're not using other fresh ground. nm
s
HAHAHA, so that tells me they went
you're so funny.....
this kinda tells me that Tommy Chen's specifically went and sought out cats/dogs to serve up to the public...OMG - I'm nauseated...
I love Asian food today but I never order chicken in Chinese restaurants...I'l order shrimp because a shrimp looks like a shrimp....cannot be something else made to look like a shrimp.......*lol* Also, eating lots of Thai these days, versus Chinese....because I never got over what THEY did up there in NY....and I'm older than dirt *laughs*
my gyne tells me that he has one pt who
My gynecologist tells me he has a patient who is well over 75 who calls him all the time still having hot flashes.....
does it EVER end? I started my hot flashes probably at 38, done with menopause by 51-52...and am still hot flashing at night mostly in sleep, sweats actually....and I'm still in my 50s......
perhaps it never does end.....ut-oh..... 
Do what your heart tells you
Just my opinion, but I think you should do what your heart tells you. Sounds lame and cliche, but I think you know what I mean. If you're not happy, then you should seek happiness. I'm not one to say "DIVORCE!" but perhaps some time apart may rekindle what you both once felt. Absence makes the heart grow fonder OR out of sight, out of mind, right? You'll know which one it is once you try it. Staying for your children is not always the best thing, especially if they can see you're both not happy. They should see what a good marriage is like: loving, sharing, giving and NOT demeaning. I don't dare judge you, and I pray you find what your heart desires.
Yes...he tells me he is on fishing trips and that (sm)
there is no cell service there, so I can't call him, or reach him even if there was an emergency. And he does not call to check on us either.
I think it's how the "leader" TELLS them to wear it. UGH! - nm
My raunchy husband who tells
me he cannot get home because the "girls" have him tied down and then when I say he is really going to get it when he gets home, he says that is already happening. He is a mess.
Reminds me of a story my mom tells ---
My mother and grandfather were traveling and stopped at a coffee shop to get a quick snack. When my mother got to the table, my grandfather was putting sugar and cream in his coffee. My mother asked him when he started putting all that in his coffee as she had always known him to drink coffee black. He told her he really liked it black and not with all that stuff in it, but since he was paying for it he was going to use it!!!
If the school tells you to go to parenting classes
Is that a step away from the school calling the CPS? I visited my aunt at a resturant she was telling me about her children's children. She said the 12 yo was acting up really bad in school and he is about to get thrown out. Every word out of that woman's mouth was it is because the DIL won't.... or the DIL doesn't........ Aunt has the kids more than the DIL does and she is constantly critising the DIL on everything. She had their 2 yo son with her and he started grunting obviously messing his diaper and she hit him on the nose (not hard) and said STOP! Then he threw up and she covered his mouth as if to stop him and it did not work and somehow that was all DIL fault also. DIL would tell aunt what the pedi said and aunt disagrees that the pedi don't know what they are talking about, that she raised 3 boys and they were going to do things her way. She disagrees with what the parenting classes are teaching. You spank kids and spank them hard, she ran around with a hairbrush and a fly swatter when her kids were little. Her DIL called me one night in tears because at some family function aunt started in on her and saying that she is incompetant and she needed aunt and DIL threw her plate of food at her. Aunt got peturbed because DIl was feeding her then 1 year-old cheerios. I told the DIL that there is a government programs out there that can help her pay for childcare that she does not need to rely aunt. I got the number from my daycare director and gave it to her. She never called. I had also told the DIL that she better start listening to the school and to the pedis and not the aunt because she is the one responsible for those kids and if aunt does something they are going to hold her responsible. The aunt won't let her use anyone but her. She is very bossy and the matriarch of the family. I had offered to keep the kids on weekends but I am not good enough either. I don't make my kids mind and aunt would have to work to hard undoing everything I did. Funny, the school told me that whatever I was doing with my 5 year old to do it again with my 18 month old. The DIL and son are mentally handicapped, both were in special education class in high school and both are janitors of the school which is probably the best job they will ever get. Think they would do well though and their kids would thrive better if they had a better support system. I wished there was something I could do to help but they did not want any of my help. I just don't like to go around them anymore. I have turned down every offer my aunt had to watch my children. No way.
My cousin had a bypass, take it 1 day at a time, and do what the doc tells you. nm
xxx
My doc tells people to use OTC DHS Zinc Shampoo
nm
Yes, that's pretty much it. Phone tells you when they're due.
nn
Son's teacher tells his classmates he has ADHD...
My 12yo has ADHD diagnosed since he was 5. He is now in the 6th grade and is having an extremely difficult time with his peers. He is being picked on terribly, excluded from groups, bullied and harassed, always when the teacher is out of sight or has her back turned. She knows it is happening but doesn't always see it because they're sneaky. Last Friday was a worse than usual day for my son and the teacher actually witnessed some of the students being rude and mean to him. My son left the room to use the bathroom and while he was away the teacher announced to the whole class that he has ADHD and to stop picking on him. I know this is a fact because I asked several of the kids and they confirmed it. The teacher called me at home tonight to explain what happened and why she said it. She said she was so angry at the kids for the way they were treating my son and in a state of anger (the kind when you can't even think of words to express your emotions) she told them he had ADHD and his annoyances and behaviors are sometimes out of his control so stop picking on him. She basically read them the riot act. I realize she was trying to help and defend my son but even she admits maybe she made things worse. My son told me today that somebody called him "sped" for special education. I hurt so much for what he is going through and don't know what to do. Isn't ADHD protected under privacy and confidentiality laws? Did she violate my son't privacy or am I making a big deal out of it. I am having a meeting with the teacher on Wednesday and need some advice on what to do next.
WOW - something tells me I wasn't meant to reveal
my age! Let's try this again - FIFTY!!
Anyone who tells others that "they run in higher class circles" sm
says a lot. And the fact that you would call another person you don't even know a jerk also says tons about you. Sounds like WAYY too much guilt to me. Get help ASAP
Really? LATE 50s? That is awesome! I am 40 - husband tells me I'm too old to be skating! (sm)
says if I get hurt my bones won't heal up quickly LOL! But I have rollerblades and I love it. I just have to start making time. Thanks for the reminder!
My husband's Aunt Delores, because she always tells everyone she loves them (nm)
x
Need help with ideas for remodeling house and decorating. We bought a house
in fair condition about 10 years ago, got into some medical problems, and have just now paid off the mortgage. Hubby and I agreed we would do nothing to the house for remodeling because we wanted to pay it off first, then the medical bills. I need to know of some websites/magazines/books to start researching for how to go about this. These will be major repairs - roof, septic, basement, windows, pretty much everything except wiring. Where do we start? Maybe hire a general contractor just to do an evaluation and give us recommendations? Hubby is a handyman but cant seem to get a handle on where to begin. We would like to do as much of the work ourselves as possible - labor of love and all that...
Thanks for any and all kind suggestions!
Ohio Christian school tells student to skip prom
FINDLAY, Ohio – A student at a fundamentalist Baptist school that forbids dancing, rock music, hand-holding and kissing will be suspended if he takes his girlfriend to her public high school prom, his principal said.
Despite the warning, 17-year-old Tyler Frost, who has never been to a dance before, said he plans to attend Findlay High School's prom Saturday.
Frost, a senior at Heritage Christian School in northwest Ohio, agreed to the school's rules when he signed a statement of cooperation at the beginning of the year, principal Tim England said.
The teen, who is scheduled to receive his diploma May 24, would be suspended from classes and receive an "incomplete" on remaining assignments, England said. Frost also would not be permitted to attend graduation but would get a diploma once he completes final exams. If Frost is involved with alcohol or sex at the prom, he will be expelled, England said.
Frost's stepfather Stephan Johnson said the school's rules should not apply outside the classroom.
"He deserves to wear that cap and gown," Johnson said.
Frost said he thought he had handled the situation properly. Findlay requires students from other schools attending the prom to get a signature from their principal, which Frost did.
"I expected a short lecture about making the right decisions and not doing something stupid," Frost said. "I thought I would get his signature and that would be the end."
England acknowledged signing the form but warned Frost there would be consequences if he attended the dance. England then took the issue to a school committee made up of church members, who decided to threaten Frost with suspension.
"In life, we constantly make decisions whether we are going to please self or please God. (Frost) chose one path, and the school committee chose the other," England said.
The handbook for the 84-student Christian school says rock music "is part of the counterculture which seeks to implant seeds of rebellion in young people's hearts and minds."
England said Frost's family should not be surprised by the school's position.
"For the parents to claim any injustice regarding this issue is at best forgetful and at worst disingenuous," he said. "It is our hope that the student and his parents will abide by the policies they have already agreed to."
The principal at Findlay High School, whose graduates include Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, said he respects, but does not agree with, Heritage Christian School's view of prom.
"I don't see (dancing and rock music) as immoral acts," Craig Kupferberg said.
Normally, this would be something I would try to stay out of, but (sm)
I would think if you called CPS and explained things just the way you did here, they might be able to do something to keep the aunt away, and parenting classes for the parents wouldn't hurt either. I agree with the other poster who said if parents (or you) act first, anything the aunt did at a later time would be considered retaliation. Handicapped parents many times can be the best parents, but it sounds like they do need some help with setting boundaries.
I think I would stay put if I were you. He knows where the
door is and can use it if he chooses. Your first concern has to be your children and you should not have to find a place to live if he is the one who has the problem with you. If there is no adultery involved here, don't rush into divorce. Divorce is painful and can get nasty. Sometimes just being away from each other can "calm the waters" and allow you to make a more objective decision. I speak from experience. My husband and I divorced very hastily when we were very young after less than 2 years of marriage and then remarried, had 2 children, divorced very hastily again and then remarried again. Had I just been a little less in a hurry I could have saved myself a hiney-load of money and a lot of heartache by just being away for a while and then making an objective decision. Instead, I rushed into divorce and paid dearly. 
Stay away from CC....
If you have been having problems meeting the minimum payment on any CC, by all means don't go opening another credit card. Your credit report will be an absolute mess. I know it's 0% interest for one year, but read the fine print - there is usually a fee of some type, plus, can you pay it off in one year before the interest starts up? You never know what will happen in life and you may not be able to make the payments, the rate goes up, and you are in deep doo-doo.
Sallie Mae is high interest, your 401K is better. With 401K you are paying yourself back with interest. It's a no-brainer. No one gets your money but you. Is it possible to borrow again from a 401K if you already have a loan out? Having the money deducted automatically from your paycheck and put back into your 401K is the safest and smartest bet...as long as you have a job.
If you ABSOLUTELY have to have this other loan for $7,000 then the 401K should be your only choice. Can you do without the $7,000 and get back on track before getting deeper into debt - or at least until you pay off the existing credit card?
Why would you want to stay...
with someone who is, as you say, mean? If you are not happy, LEAVE! When you stay you are condoning his behavior. Some women want to be martyrs, others want to live a great life. There are great men out there; wallowing in self-pity does not get you one though.
Well, obviously we don't want to stay
somewhere where there's still a lot of damage. That's why I'm asking for personal experiences, and hopefully recently. We don't want to book a beach house and when we get there find out it's in the middle of a big mess.
stay vs go
First, I am so sorry for your situation...that being said, the kids will definitely pick up on the negative vibes between you and your husband. As far as your question goes, I think only you and your husband can know the answer to that one. Just be very aware of your kids and behavior changes, emotional lability, etc. Trust me when I say, they are not dumb...they will pick up on what's going on, no matter how hard you try to hide it (yes, I'm speaking from experience...). Good luck!
You definitely need to stay on top of this...
The kids who you think are least likely to commit suicide are the ones that actually do...that is not meant to scare you by any means...most kids find it easier to write down their feelings than actually expressing them face to face so the fact that he wrote this means something is bothering him...I think you should both talk to your pastor..good luck...(((HUGS)))...
I think you should just stay out of it.
It is just humiliating for kids when their parents act up or cause a scene.
The name of the game is fun. Your going into the game wanting your son's team to beat the other team because of YOUR issues with another parent is very immature and selfish.
Trust me, we've watched parents like you've described yourself (and others, in fairness) acting out and it is so unsportsman-like and completely immature.
Embarrassing for everyone.
To Done: STAY !
No husband is perfect, we are all human. Your husband has a lot of good qualities. Think of your children! I think you are spoiled and unthankful. Maybe he is right and is better than you. He loves you, why don't you; I think you are just bored.
If I don't have anywhere to go, I stay
in my jammies. I usually get up and take the kids to school in jeans and my jammy shirt. Then come home and put the jammy pants back on. If I don't have anywhere to go, I don't get dressed until mid afternoon when I break for lunch. I usually put something in the oven and hop in the shower. Sometimes I just put clean jammies on, sometimes I get fully dressed. Either way, my contacts go in and my hair gets done. My husband likes me either way, as long as I'm clean. I find I wear my jammies more in the winter and am more likely to get dressed in the summer, probably because kids are always coming and going in the summer.
At any rate, I tend to be more productive when I'm dressed, so I should probably try to do that every morning, but I'm just not a morning person. Every year for Christmas, my mom gets me "work clothes" (jammies)!!!
Where we stay in NYC.
We stay at the Embassy Suites on North End Avenue right in the financial district. It is walking distance to to the Village, China Town, Mulberry Street, etc. It overlooks the Harbor and you can see the all the helicopters coming in and out. My husband always goes to Battery Park to watch the helicopters. It is not too inexpensive, but you do get free breakfast and there is a happy hour at 5:00 p.m. if you like to have a few drinks, which will really cost you in the city. There is also a fantastic deli 1 block away that we always hit for a late night snack. We go at least once per year, sometimes twice or 3 times. We love it.
You really have to stay on top of the cards
I do a lot of card flipping with balance transfers but also calling and trying to negotiate new deals. I just switched one with a balance transfer at 3.9 for the life of balance and then talked them down to a purchase rate of 8.9 (it had been up in the high teens). I also talked a card I've had a while into a 2.9 for the life of a balance transfer instead of the 12 month offer they were having because there was a delay in the electronic transfer to the other company causing me a bit of inconvenience. That transfer was actually for a loan I had at a pretty high interest rate, so some loans can be put on cards too which I never knew. I find websites that list ALL the latest offers for all or most card companies and I'm always checking. Sometimes I call my cards and tell them I am thinking about switching unless they can give me a similar/better rate or deal. Often they will so as not to lose the business. I have saved a ton of money doing this - it is sort of like consolidating on your own. I can post the site if anyone is interested, don't have it handy right now. Oh..I also have automatic electronic payment setup to pay a certain amount each month from my checking so the payment is NEVER late. You are so right about that, that's where they get you! I just thought maybe some of this info may help someone, I hope so. My credit is very good now but had been a mess in the past.
Remind me to stay
 away from that doctor!!!
Did he marry her so he could stay in the U.S.? nm
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