was just like you
Posted By: might be your age on 2009-03-11
In Reply to: is it abnormal not to enjoy sex? - frustrated
I didn't start to enjoy sex until my mid 20's. I had just started to, but I married a guy that I simply could NOT enjoy sex with, no matter what either of us did; after the first couple times with him my response tapered down to nothing. All the counseling in the world did not help, either. After divorcing him at the end of my 30's, I found sex absolutely wonderful, and was amazed it could be so good, and sorry I had wasted so many years with the wrong guy. I think in my case, it had to do with my age, and you might be in the same boat.
Another thought - if you're with someone who consistently gives you a disappointing experience, you get subconsciously and physiologically trained to not want it, because you know you're not going to like it. It becomes a cycle of he wants it, he initiates it, you reluctantly agree to keep him happy, he starts nagging you because you aren't having the time of your life and pressuring you to like it, this turns you off even more. That's what my 10 year marriage turned into, until all he would have to do is mention sex and I just wanted to head for the hills.
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