very wise advice about how to go about
Posted By: discussing with an ex. on 2007-04-08
In Reply to: I recently had a talk with my ex - about the spoiling - sm
It keeps it from looking like a competition or disapproval, and more about the longterm effects of treating a child over-the-top and how they might interpret that as they are "damaged." A+ advice!
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Need advice on a good, adjustable chair for typing. Any advice? nm
nm
And cost wise?
Read all the above and thanks so much. Now in the midst of trying to get my yard in shape after the grubs set in and do not want to spend an arm and a leg on flooring. Thanks again.
Cost wise?
Heard sodding expensive.
She may be able to work her way up job-wise
xx
Its wise to stay away
I had a C-section and had planned to stay at my mom's for a week or so to recuperate. As soon as I got there, I put the baby in the cradle in the living room and started to put some things away in the bedroom. I could hear my step-dad saying "get 'im, get 'im" to his dog....I went out there and he was actually encouraging his schnauzer to mess with the baby! I came real close to braining him with a can of tomatoes over it. I left and refused to bring the baby to their house as long as he was in it. My mom, too, chose the step-dad over her kids. Now he's dead and her relationship with her kids is rocky, and she regrets it.
What a wise looking face.
I'm sorry about your husband's death. You must both miss him very much. 
Wise ol' soul
I really do, especially around this time of year. But, I ws lucky to have him as long as i did.
And, Silver has always been a wise ol' soul. He is a great comfort. But, unfortunately Silver has cancer and is getting really thin. So, I think he will be with my husband before too long.
That picture was taken a few years ago.
I like those words - very very wise
Going to remember that one.
What would you do - survival wise
Thinking about the storm Gustave (sorry, don't know how to spell it or want to open up new window to find correct spelling), but it brings me to another question I wanted to ask. If you knew an impending storm (or some other disaster) was heading your way, and you would be out of power for 30 days (no refrigeration or electricity/gas) and was stuck in your home and could not leave (roads blocked or whatever reason) and you had time to prepare ahead of time. What kinds of foods would you have on hand in your "emergency stash" and what types of things would you eat.
Wow, ya'll are so wise -- thanks
Appreciate any comments/advice. Keep it up! Thanks a lot.
Age wise, I am 10 years
older than DH.
You are wise and a very good person (sm)
Your daughter and granddaughter are very lucky to have you, especially your granddaughter.
Everything you said is true.
The best thing I ever did for my kids after divorce was never to say an unkind word about their father, never put them in the middle, and the parade of frogs was a definite no-no!
Your advice was excellent. You SHOULD write a book!! As many divorces as there are any more, you would think this issue would have more emphasis in some form of media.
Personality wise? I am probably most like Blanche! LOL
x
your grandmother=wise woman..saying comes from
Woman
was made from the rib of man, she was not created from his head-to top him, nor from his feet-to be stepped upon.
She was made from his side, to be equal to him; from beneath his arm-to be protected by him; near his heart-to be loved by him.
From The Talmud
Wise words, I second the rec. for the above post
Excellent points all.
I think that is a wise choice. So glad
you brought dad into this! It is just too much for one - I know because I was the only one.
Please forgive the double post. Wise NM
x
You sound like a very wise person and I a glad to that
he did understand. Over-the-top is never good. Not for an adult and certainly not for a child. A gift with meaning and purpose is more cherished than a trunk load of junk and will be remembered, not thrown away.
LOL- she sounds wise beyond her years. She's lucky to have you. nm
xx
A wise 1st grade teacher told us...
"If you won't believe that I was mean to your kids, I won't believe that you had dog food for dinner last night."
Wise words, bright side....
I had a mini-meltdown several months ago when the work pretty much dried up for awhile. My SO was so very supportive and reminded me that no matter what happened, even if we ended up living in a cardboard box, we would have each other and no one could take that away from us.
I'd always been extremely strong and independent before I met him, and would struggle through things alone and silently, always hiding behind the "everything is just fine" facade to everyone I knew.
It's so nice to have someone to love and trust and turn to for support when things get rough.
Knowing that someone is waiting right there to catch you if you start to fall off the edge is something no amount of money can buy.
Hang in there, backwardstypist...Things will work out for you and your DH.
what a wise, insightful and compassionate comment.
I wish you all the best and that you come out as a winner because you deserve it.
Percentage-wise, shoplifting is a more likely source of
I was horrified, what - a year ago? - to watch an episode of Oprah where three teenage girls AND THEIR MOTHERS were guests saying in front of God and the world that the girls engage in oral sex, how common it was, etc.
There was some point in this country when we decided that "shame" was bad (the oxymoronic suggestion being that we should be ashamed of shame!) - and nothing good has come out of this ridiculous 'progressive humanist' idea or its twin - the notion that outcomes should be the same for everyone regardless of their ability or effort.
Let's get the notion of shame back on stage - front and center. There ARE things that humans do that SHOULD make them feel shame and guilt. When we lose our ability to experience guilt, we have...let's see now, what do we have again? Oh yes, now I remember - we have Bernie Madoff and his $50 billion scam, television you can no longer watch with your children, teachers seducing their students, and a whole lot of other very unpleasant consequences.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
A wise old sage said: Beans, beans, are good for the heart ....
(you know the rest!) :)
Re: Advice
I am a new mom to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't think I would mind going to work part-time. Well, I've been crying my self to sleep every night. I have my B.A. in Business Administration and have been in the banking industry for 6 years. I have been searching all over for a legitimate work at home opportunity. It seems like medical transcription is a great opportunity. I'd like advice from people who do this from home. I'd like to know where you got the training and what your first job was (since that seems to be a big issue). Also, will my B.A. help at all? I know employers like people with MT experience but I accquired other skills such as meticulous attention to detail that I know is needed. Any and all information is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Please see Main board for all transcription-related topics. This message has been moved to Main.
advice
I do have to say that unless you already have an "in" it is difficult to find a job. Most places won't hire you if you don't have at least two years experience but you can't get experience unless someone hires you. You don't necessarily have to get certified right away just take an accredited program that is specifically for medical transcription. Once your done with school just keep trying, don't give up and try to take your time and ace the preemployment tests. If you do really well some places will give you an offer even if you don't have experience. Take the first job you can get because even if it doesn't pay well you are still gaining experience and it will make it easier for you to get a new job.
Cat advice please....
I have a kitten who is appx. 7 months old. He refuses to eat any kind of cat food, canned, dry, dry mixed with canned, dry mixed with water, cat treats, etc. I have tried baby food, dog food, etc. He will only eat KMR weaning powder, which I mix with water. Have tried to mix food into it but he will not eat it. He tries to cover everything up like it should be in the cat box! No vet seems to concerned about this...he likes to eat chicken, people food chicken that is, and turkey. I am stumped.
This cat MUST learn to eat before May because I am going on vacation for 3-1/2 weeks...any suggestions for this problem?
Thanks for the advice....sm
I will give each a try! I hate to leave him while on vacation, but have no other choice. And the only reason it is for so long is because I don't fly and my DH and I are driving cross country to see family...I'm sure he will be fine, but no kids at home anymore so they are my babies! It's nice to have people to bounce ideas off of! 
I thank you all for your advice - I am
an animal lover, have 2 cats, 2 dogs. Love feeding the birds outside. I can't help feeling betrayed by these outside creatures that probably fill their bellies at my bird feeders and have now started war on my house. I guess I will start off with putting some Dcon in the attic - as much as I hate to kill them, I don't want my house chewed apart either. I just hope they don't die and rot someplace where I can smell them.
My cats were going crazy last night and spent much of the night gazing up at the ceiling in my bedroom with their mouths watering. I hope at least tonight the invader picks another part of the house to snack and dig so I can get some sleep.
Thanks again for the advice.
And Hayseed - I agree that Indian is a little un-PC, so are some of the ones with the smiley faces shooting at each other, but they're pretty funny (I guess unless you're Indian)!
Re: Looking for advice
Thanks, that was very helpful! I'm sorry about the info overload, I guess I just wasn't sure exactly where to begin asking. I think I'll just get the basic foot pedal, upgraded computer, headphones etc. and get some finanicing for the "extras" that may come up and take the plunge.
My advice to you is
Get yourself the book - think it is called Co-Dependent No More and get yourself to a support group ASAP - not sure what they are called - but if someone here does not tell you then call AA yourself and find out the name of the support group for spouses, family, etc. AND if you don't find a supportive support group - hunt around until you do - DO NOT GIVE UP. Help yourself to understand this disease/disorder and get help for yourself and then you can help him through this process also. Thank goodness you do not have children and good for you for asking for help. E-mail me if you want - lots of alcoholics in my family and would be glad to help you!! Take care. Will be praying for you.
This is THE best advice yet. I always will take on sm
10-year-old son's friends, especially when they say rude things. I'll say, "excuse me, what did you just say? Well, we do not talk like that in this house." And I promise you, they either stop coming around or they are VERY polite around me. If they do slip and say something rude they will immediately cover their mouths and say I'm sorry while looking at me. I do scare them a bit, I suppose. But I show them my authority and that I will not stand for that kind of nonsense and then they stop.
If they did that to me I would have immediately turned around and said, "what did you just say?" And then I'd tell a little white lie and say, "I know exactly who you 2 are" (and I'd say it so convincingly) and then say, "It looks like a call into your mother and father is in order today." Have a nice day, guys."
Thanks for the advice
I am assuming he did it sometime on Sunday. He came limping to the house on Monday morning and there was no sign of blood, no fresh blood or no old blood. It doesn't appear to be infected at all. Now that the flap is gone, I don't see any open areas at all. No swelling or redness and it is not touchy at all. He lets me manipulate it and even squeeze his paw so I don't think there is any infection there. I guess we are really bad - but no vets bills unless absolutely no other alternative!
Need advice about how to get what I want done
Okay here goes I can handle a department but when it comes to cleaning my home I have problems getting across what I want or maybe I am too nice. Tell me what you think please!!!
My home is 1st /2nd floor with a basement (laundry /storage). I want them to thoroughly clean the kitchen (any dishes, counters, stove, fridge sweep mop etc) clean all three bathrooms(completely), dust living room, dining room, and hallways. Tidy guest bedroom (you know dust vacuum). I do not want them to clean anyof the childrens rooms or mine or touch my office. I want all door sills wiped/dusted and ceiling fans and lamps cleaned and about the windows divided out so that they are cleaned at least once a month my kids have to clean theirs weekly. I am prepared to pay $100 to $120 a visit and want them in one a week or every other week which ever works better for them so that it stays decent and can be completed within a 3-5 hour time range. I have to be home when they do it because my dog will not allow it otherwise.
My problem is this I was told what I was asking was not over and above and that I was paying an extremely fair wage since the area they are actually cleaning is less than have the square footage. No work in the basement, only hallway and to small bathrooms on the second floor and all of the first floor. A couple of companies I tried were horrible right off the bat and were not asked back. The individuals seemed to work the best but after a month or two the work was being half done and I would have to go behind them checking. I do not have time for this and I do tip usually about $20 a visit. How do you get them to do everything you want. Should I be totally anal and make a check list and if it is not done subtract from their next visit???(husbands suggestion). I just want it done right I am willing to pay good money so that I can spend my free time with my kids and my husband not scrubing toilets and windows.
Thanks I appreciate any advice
Thanks for the advice- however I do not believe
she is depressed, has loads of things to keep her busy. She basically hurt my feelings when she broke her hip last year and I asked what she would like, pears so I got those, knowing she loved chocolate, got some of that and got some flowers. Oh, I had overdone it, too much. I do not remember her saying anyone else had overdone something. I am not going to say anything but that still does not justify running down something I basically went out of my way to provide for her. I only wish I had a son or daughter either 1 that I could count on like she can with me. Oh, well, guess I will just stop trying to be so kind and keep more to myself.
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it.
/
advice
I would definetely NOT call the mom. I would try and convince the girl to go to her parents but that is probably scary for her. The clinic is the next best bet and decision can be made from there depening on the result. YOu do not want to betray your daughter. She will be very upset and may not forgive you. I wonder what in the world was this girl thinking to even put herself in this situation. Obviously she figured the morning after pill would be the solution.
need advice
Okay, you all are probably going to think this crazy, but I need some advice and input on a situation. There is a new guy at my church who has flirted with me, sometimes in the presence of my husband. I'm not sure if my husband has said something to him or maybe had someone else say something, but recently, he has gotten to where he will not speak to me at church if there is anyone around. As long as there is no one around, he speaks but doesn't attempt to hug or flirt like he did at one time. He does call me chick and things of that nature (of course, when no one is around), but I'm totally confused on what is going on with him. Yes, I'm married, but my husband has treated my girls and myself like we're nothing the past couple of years and has been verbally abusive, and we've only stayed because everytime I try to leave he gets in the doorway and will not let us go - and he's a big man!! I would appreciate any advice.
advice
First of all MT student, this is no drama story. I think I sent out the wrong message here. I'm not wanting to leave my husband because "church guy" is flirting with me. My husband has been very dishonest the past couple of years about money situations, taxes, etc. plus the verbal abuse and just being a reall jack a**. I can see where you all are coming from with "church guy" though. I guess I hadn't thought about how he really is because I was too caught up in the fact that he was flirting with me even though I'm married. Thanks for your replys and advice.
thank you for the advice .... nm
need advice...
I need advice on something. Does anyone have/had teenage daughters? I have a niece that is 15. Won't be 16 until end of December. I have heard recently through my son and mutual friends of theirs that she has been sexually active for quite some time. She has also been drinking when she is away for overnighters with friends. Do I talk to my sister about this in case she isn't aware of it? My friend tells me I should stay out of it and say nothing. Part of me does not agree with that. If I had a teenage daughter I would want to know. It would be bothersome to me but I'd want to know so I was sure she was being safe and obviously would not get pregnant. I don't condone any of this but they sure are going to do what they want to do and isn't it better to be safe than sorry?
What would you do in this situation because quite honestly I'm driving myself crazy going back and forth with this issue. It's a touchy subject with alot of people I have found out. Some say they would not want to know. Others say it's an invasion of privacy with my niece and she may be very angry with me afterwards. Others say my sister could be mad because I came to her in the first place about a matter that may not be any of my business. I have three boys so this is not my cup of tea. I love all my nieces and treat them like my own children but this topic has hit me hard. When I found this out on Sunday...I cried the entire night. It's how I found out and what is being said about her that really, really bothers me.
I appreciate any suggestions from anyone.
Thanks.
my advice
My daughters are now college age but looking back they went through the same stuff. Girls can only be friends with one at a time. When there is three the drama starts or the gossip etc. My daughters were the one that was usually left out. I tried to rationalize it with them and discuss it etc and gave alternatives but the best thing I could of did was backed away and told them to handle it themselves. My daughters were on and off again for years with the same girls for that reason. One day so and so did not like this one, the next day my daugheter was her best friend again. You did handle it right by reminding her that she did the same thing.
Any advice on
a good 30-minute exercise program? Can't afford to buy anything, go to a gym or anything like that. I am 5ƍ and weight probably about 160-165 and want to get back to 120. Can't do Weight Watchers or anything that costs money! I am trying to watch what I eat, but need to start exercising and don't really know what to do other than sit-ups, jumping jacks, etc. Any advice? Would like to get back to 120 by January/February at least!
Advice from my dad:
"Marry an orphan."
Advice
My 2 cents, all my opinion:
1. Relax. Potty training is not a contest and there is no deadline, despite what anyone may tell you. I remember my MIL having a fit because her grandson was not potty trained on schedule.
2. We had to get rid of the BIG KID disposable underwear that our son was wearing, and give him real cloth underwear. When he was wearing the disposable type, he treated them like they were diapers.
3. My husband and I decided that our strong-willed son was actually involved in a power struggle with us. So, in order to create a more objective environment, my husband used a puppet of a favorite character named Elmo. Our son was 4 at the time, and did not realize that his daddy was the voice behind Elmo. But, Elmo was able to help avoid the parent-child power struggle and was able to potty train our son within just a day or two. Truly, it was just a matter of Elmo being the instructor and the cheerleader, and then we followed it up with more cheers and rewards. Yes, rewards.
Old Cat Advice
We have a 20-year-old cat with a huge mass on his tail. We took him to the vet to have it examined. The vet said that we could either have the mass removed or wait and see what happens. We decided to wait and see.
Now, the mass has burst and is bleeding profusely. The vet shaved the tail, put antibiotics on it, and wrapped it tightly to keep pressure on the wound and control the bleeding. Our only choice, at this point, is to either have the mass removed and biopsied, possibly requiring future amputation if it comes back malignant, or just "cutting to the chase" and having his tail amputated now.
Keep in mind that this cat is 20 years old and otherwise in good health. I feel like we are between a rock and a hard place. I do not want to put him down, yet I do not want to traumatize him by amputating his tail.
Any advice would be most appreciated!
I need some advice from...
I am so upset right now I can't even think straight, so please forgive me for any mistakes in this post...
I just found out that my 17 YOD is sexually active with her loser boyfriend!!! Just writing this makes me want to throw up. How do I handle this. All I want to do is choke both of them. I can't even look at her...it just turns my stomach. I have talked openly and honestly with her about sex for as long as I can remember. I've asked her more than once to please, PLEASE wait until she got married...or at least met the man she wants to marry. This guy she's with is a straight up loser. He doesn't work...he's out of school (graduated last year, so he says)...HE SMOKES...I am just sick over the whole situation. Please, any advice would be so greatly appreciated.
Thanks for the advice...sm
What's the difference between abscessed and infected? I can't bite down on it at all and it feels like there is pressure inside it. It's the same feeling I've had before when I needed a root canal, which I really don't want to go through again. Would rather just have it extracted and be done with it.
No, I haven't called. I'll have to give that a try.
Need advice
Is there anything natural for anxiety for a child. Don't get me wrong, this is not major, but my 6-year-old son is really having problems for about the past 3-4 weeks about me dying. Almost every night when we go to bed or before bed, he starts thinking about it and sometimes crying. He says he is afraid I'm going to die "before he knows it" After the 2nd time, I asked him why was he thinking about that and what was making him think about it and he said church, but nothing has been said in AWANA or Sunday School about parents dying or anything like that. A friend of mine told me to take him to the doctor and maybe they can give him a small small dose of something for anxiety, but I really don't want to do that. I have tried talking to him about it. I just don't know what else to do, but it's starting to really bother me to see him that worried about somehing like that. My parents are 81 and 82 and I've tried to tell him look how old memaw and papaw are and they're not dead yet and it will be a long time before I die, but that doesn't seem to help. Any suggestions?
thank you all for your advice
I never wanted for this to happen. I wanted just so much to get to know my brother and find out the answers behind his death. This man does fill a significant hole in my life and I am afraid to death of losing that happiness. I know he belongs to someone else even if they are or may be unhappy. I just opened myself up way too wide to this man. I don't fault anyone but myself. I don't think I will make it through losing him. I know that his retirement will be the finality of our friendship. I just cannot get to that point. Thank you all for your help and for listening. I pray I have the strength to get through this. I just don't want to let him go.
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