to irritated/porn addiction?
Posted By: anon99 on 2008-02-03
In Reply to: This crossed my mind too (sm) - Just me
Wow, you sure are trusting after seeing such a big change in behavior. I hope you don't get what I got: the greatest guy I could've wanted (good, prominent family, $, respect, the works). I won't fill in all the frills I got, but they were plenty, and I thought I was set. for life. And yes, he did love me dearly.
The thing I came to learn was that he had a porn addiction. It's something I've never experienced, and really hadn't typed about, either. I'm no fool, and had been with plenty of men before him, as we got married later than most, but this was a first for me. In the end it ruined our marriage. My point is that when you see strange things happen, don't poo-poo it. Only you know if something is amiss, and I believe you do. I hope I'm wrong, and I certainly hope you don't have to face what I did. It sickens me to think about the details of all that chapter, but now that we're no longer "one," I know that I can't fix him, and as long as he doesn't acknowledge his problem, he won't, either. Ironically, even now I'd be as supportive as possible if he were to shed the demons that are eroding him to his core, but he'll be the first to tell the world that there's nothing wrong with him.
Just something to think about. I hope you don't end up the way I did. I'm just glad I don't have all that anxiety anymore, and we're actually friends (or something like that).
Good luck.
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So is it sex addiction, or porn addiction? (sm)
Seems like there is a difference. How would one become a therapist for the stars with sex addiction? LOL.
Soft porn pictures, how about your soft porn posts?
Go climb back in your slime ball life.
Is anyone else irritated
With Seacrest and the judges doing all the bantering and bickering back and forth? Geez! The show is about a singing contest, not the host and judges of the show!
I think they need to focus more on the contestants again instead of themselves.
I really get irritated listening to the news
Ok, got another stoopid story. A newscaster arrested last year, driving on suspended license from previous DUI, was charged with DUI again plus had drugs in the vehicle so 3 charges. This newscaster has now been rehired by the same place that fired her last year. A woman today said- she thought this person was a role model for young girls. People - have you lost your fricking minds???
Addiction
Ex sister-in-law was addicted to cocaine, and she did incredibly stupid/dangerous things all the time. I am not surprised LL did not get a driver, judgment is totally impaired when you are addicted to coke. That is why she is my EX-sister-in-law
Electronics addiction
It is real, and my DH has a bad case.
I've been married 20 years. For the first 10 years, with each purchase I always thought he finally had everything and he'd stop trading up. No - it never ends. He does take some things back (and yet always forgets to safe-keep the receipt). He tries to tell me my cheap OTC makeup and $20-clothes are the same thing, but electronics are so expensive and unnecessary to me that it does get annoying that he has such an expensive hobby. It's as if THAT's the reason I'm working - to support his addiction. Sigh.
It's never the end.
HBO series on addiction sm
HBO had an excellent series on addiction.It may be available on the Net someplace. They have what is called the *go* factor in the brain, etc. which stimulates the need for alcohol or drugs. I have attended many different lectures on this and it is very confusing. All I know is that it happens in the very best of families, drugs, alcohol, any feel good addiction can happen to anyone. I have a hard time dealing with it myself since some of my nearest and dearest have problems. All one can do is take good care of themselves and lead by example. This time of year seems to bring it all out - I used to dread Christmas and the loose lips that sink ships, one too many drinkers can ruin a holiday! It's funny in the movies but not in real life, it is a disaster. No one needs to apologize, glad the subject came up, it's a good *remember when* for me. I stopped buying booze several years ago and it is surprising how my guest list has shortened, thank goodness! I feel my life has improved for the better since alcohol is not on my holiday menu. You have to start someplace, why now with your own home sweet home? No more booze served here. A lot of us have walked that walk, it's a tough one.
computer addiction
see below.
cig smoking is EXACTLY like heroin addiction.....
filters cut off for more strength....to answer your question.
I wish someone had stopped me - folks gave permission at a young age....because they were smokers.....I have never quit except in pregnancy....but I quit buying over 3-1/2 months ago, still smoke but ask others for one....and I cut back smoking by 75 percent and THAT's something because I no longer even cough the way I used to, my house smells GREAT (smoking outside only).....and I sound better (because I really am better - health-wise).
It is MOST definitely a drug addiction, as bad as any of them, as addicting as any of them........so the post was right on about *hearing it is as strong as a heroin addiction* - I tell kids today, that's exactly what it is...........................because it is.
My only suggestion is to show her pictures (found online even, just Google the subject/topic/question) of what lungs look like in smokers versus nonsmokre, and then find some head and neck surgical oncology site and start showing her pictures there (I worked in a surgical oncology HEAD AND NECK dept for a few years and what I saw was definitely sickening and yet, I too, still smoke *slaps self*)
My children (due to the fact I used above tactics) - NEVER smoked (thank goodness!!!!).
Best of luck to her and you!!!
Yes - he checked himself in rehab for sex addiction
nm
BF and porn
As a lady who is looking at her 17 yr anniversary coming up and the mother of boys, I have some pretty strong opinions about porn and how men treat the woman they supposedly "love." Dear friend, if this is a problem in your life, my advice would be to become more selfish about yourself. You have one life. You have a heart that needs attention and love and fidelity and trust. You have the right to live with a man who does not spend his time wanting to watch strange women (who are probably drunk or drug addicts or street hookers desperate for cash) have sex with other women, men, etc.
It is SO hard to step out and say, "Hey, this is not where I want to be and I need to go now," but it is worth it in the end. I have known so many women who struggle with this, and their men always say it is the woman's problem. Don't be fooled! Not all men are like this. A lot are, but not all. I once dated a guy who was so handsome, so charming. I couldn't get enough of him. When I went to his house for a birthday party and used the bathroom,I looked under the sink for some TP and found PILES of porn magazines and lotion. I almost died. I broke up with him that night and told him why. Several months later I had a new BF and life moved on. It always does.
My own mother fought with my dad over this and it broke her heart, especially since my dad's desire to look at women who were literally half his age did not change as he got older. There was my mom, aging as usual, and her husband wanted to see college girls with their clothes off. So it's not like these men 'get better' as they get older. Same-o same-o.
Hope this helps a little.
I was simply stating what my sweet addiction is and what
my not sweet addiction is. 
My husband is an alcoholic currently in rehab for his addiction.
Our marriage has suffered terribly because of his addiction. Actually, I should say my love for him has suffered terribly because of his alcoholism. He is totally dependent on me and I have come to feel more like his mother than his wife. I make the money, pay the bills, take care of our children, basically run the house. He's either always looking for a job or working as a self-employed used engine and transmission salesman/mechanic barely making any money at all.
Recently, I told him I didn't love him anymore and that I was tired of taking care of him. So he entered rehab as a way to win me back and prove his love for me. He calls me at least 20 times a day from rehab. If I don't answer, he will call repeatedly every two minutes or so until someone answers or he has to go back to group or class or whatever.
He will get out of rehab at the end of this month and fully expects to come back home and provie that he is changing. My problem is this, I don't want him to come home. I have enjoyed the peace I've had with him gone (save for the constant phone calls). However, I fear that if I am honest with him and tell him over the phone that I don't want him back, this will affect his sobriety and basically he will see no reason to finish rehab and remain sober. He tells me repeatedly that he is doing this for me. I've told him he should be doing it for himself or at the very least, his kids and he will just agree with me and change the subject.
He's not a bad person. He just has his problems and I'm tired of feeling like I have this anchor around my neck all of the time. While he's been gone I've enjoyed spending time with my kids. I've gotten together with my girlfriends for dinner and movies and just had girls' night out. I've spent time visiting my mom and sister and helping my niece plan her upcoming wedding. Without my husband around, I've just feel free to have fun and do stuff for me.
How can I tell him that I want a divorce without feeling responsible for affecting his rehabilitation? How would you handle it?
Question about porn.....
My long-time boyfriend is out of town frequently. Just discovered on his private computer that he looks at page after page after page of lesbian porn. He is a teacher of at-risk kids, always condemns porn as objectifying women, blah-blah-blah.
I feel like I'm going to vomit. Am I over-reacting perhaps? Hope so.
My "look" at Porn
I think it would be even worse if he were looking at kiddy porn or even same sex porn, i.e. males! I myself have looked at lesbian porn on Craigs List. Hey, I also looked at the guy ads, just curious. Way over 60, happily married, not looking, just curious.
yet another porn and men question
I have asked this before on this board about husband/boyfriend watching porn in secret. I get answers anywhere from "all men do it, don't worry about it" to "he shouldn't be doing that." I am really really confused. I have talked with a couple of girlfriends and since they don't have that problem with their husbands they just don't know what they'd do in my case. Anyway, boyfriend seems kind of addicted. Whenever I am gone for several hours and he is at home he looks at porn sites. Young lesbians, and not soft porn that's for sure. Really gross and I am not a prude. This is several times a week. He was using a work laptop computer (he is a TEACHER) and it got a virus and quit working (how appropriate). He has a new one now and I figured he'd be more careful but I just checked the browsing history and he is doing it more than ever. Where does secretive porn-surfing become obsession? This makes me sick and in addition I have told him offhandedly about teachers getting in lots of trouble over porn found on work computers but he doesn't seem to care, obviously.
I agree-cigs worse addiction than pot, like heroin!
.
Ancestry.Com Needs a Surgeon General's Addiction Warning Box
Is to get one of those Ancestry charts online where you put in each person in a family tree. You can then click on 2 people's names and see exactly how they're related to each other.
husband's behavior due to porn, LOL
His behavior is NOT due to porn. If his behavior is so bad it is due to HIM...nothing evil caused him to be this way, just him and his choices.
I don't get what's so wrong with porn? If consenting adults are in it and consulting adults are viewing it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It does not mean the person looking at it is a deviant. Geez...some of you people have some serious hang ups with sex and sexuality.
Try to loosen up a little ladies, maybe life would be a little more fun.
If soft porn could possibly be more
NM
About 20 seconds of some porn got shown. Only in AZ, i think. nm
x
Octo-mom to be a porn star!!!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 – updated: 9:06 am EST February 25, 2009
The very public saga of octuplet mom Nadya Suleman has taken a lurid turn.
According to TMZ.com, Suleman has been offered $1 million by major porn distributor Vivid Entertainment to star in a porn movie.
Suleman became the subject of heavy scrutiny after the birth of the octuplets last month, after it was revealed that she already had six children. All 14 were conceived through in-vitro fertilization.
Vivid told TMZ that the company will give her family full medical and dental insurance if she becomes a "contract girl." According to the celebrity gossip Web site, that would mean Suleman would have to do "multiple videos."
TMZ said there was no word on whether Suleman was considering the offer.
Meanwhile, Suleman appears to have bigger worries than taking care of her 14 children.
Talk show host Dr. Phil McGraw said that she may have to prove she can handle the load, or else have hospital officials withhold her newborn octuplets.
McGraw said the 33-year-old unemployed mother called him Tuesday. She was distraught that Kaiser Permanente officials told her they were concerned about the babies living at her home near Los Angeles.
Property records show Suleman's mother is more than $23,000 behind on mortgage payments and the home is under threat of foreclosure.
Kaiser officials won't comment on Suleman's case.
Suleman has taped two episodes of McGraw's "Dr. Phil" show.
Almost all men look at porn! They love lesbian pics
I reall wouldn't worry about it! It's a billion $ industry - paid for by men of all ages and walk of life. Even if the don't buy porn I guarantee they love looking at beatuiful women in the grocery store or at church!
Adult porn is legal. It's not criminal to look it - I don't see what that has to do with his job! Every model/actress has documentation of her dob and government issued ID on file with the producer. The FBI can inspect these records at any time. Look at any "big" soft porn site (hustler, playboy, penthouse) and click on 2257 diclaimer.
I really wouldn't worry about it. I disagree with the above poster that it ruins lives!!!
Men buy printed porn, call phone sex lines, and view porn on the net simply to get off. It has nothing to do with an addiction or ruining his life! Even what we think of "kinky" may simply be a harlmess fetish/fantasy. He may not want to admit to his wife that he likes wearing women's panties, or that he loves women in fish net stockings. So he buys a mag for $10 and spends $20 on phone sex line or a web cam girl and gets to live it for 15 minutes.
This is me but I would rather have my traveling husband or my son in college look at Hustler and call a phone sex line than sleep with a woman and catch something nasty! I wouldn't want to discuss it with them over breakfast, but I wouldn't worry about it! :)
Porn sites are high risk for viruses - I would be more concerned about getting good anti-virus software on his computer.
Well, I can make a load of money too if I wanted to get into porn. and
having relations with other people, including women. It's a multi-billion dollar a year industry. It doesn't make it right. I can go and rob a bank tomorrow and make a ton of money, but it doesn't make it right.
I like what the Bible says about it - a decent man will make his money with an honest living.
Yeah, the True Blood series is basically like soft porn...
definitely not advisable for a 14 year old!!!
Did not hear about the porn but did hear
there might be a conflict about her babies going home with her when they were able to be dismissed. You can hardly blame anyone for questioning how she will take care of them. From what I have seen, she hardly seems stable enough to do that.
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