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time is what helps

Posted By: smr on 2007-07-25
In Reply to: Has anyone ever used online resoureces to help with grief? sm - Needing some help

The first year is the hardest. You have to go through the first xmas, the first birthday, etc. It slowly gets a little easier. My dad died 11 years ago and I still miss him. Sometimes the littlest thing will remind me of him and I just will start crying. I found reading books on the stages of grief helped. Take care.


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THANKS SO MUCH THIS HELPS NM
nm
See if this helps. sm
http://www.replacements.com/webquote/TAUWIC.htm

item 182937
It all helps!
You know I started using GoodSearch for the group I was interested in and then ended up volunteering. I would not have thought I coulde have such a good time working for free, LOL!
See if this helps.....
I have had a heel spur, on the right that I use for my foot pedal, ouch! Bottom line, it eventually just went away and I was told this is the case sometime. If you are having some kind of foot pain (I was having electrical like currents when I walked on my left foot, no other time) and 1 lady here on MTstars suggested wearing arch supports. I had spent years trying to get some assistance and that finally was my answer. I could hug her neck!! I would definitely try the arch supports, inexpensive and might be the answer.
Thank you so much! It really, really helps to know someone gets it (sm)
I don't know that I am handling it so well. I am scared to death but I am trying to just keep moving forward anyway. I know it is time. I know I can't fix it.
I don't know if it helps to know

you're not the only one in this situation.  I don't have any financial magic wands lying around unfortunately.  What I've been doing for medical care, since I'm also uninsured, is seeing a nurse practitioner at a school-based clinic in my community that operates on a sliding scale, so I only have to pay $20. per visit.  The NP does my Pap smears and lab work, writes my scrips, and refers me for other diagnostics like yearly mammos.  She put me on LexaPro for depression about 2 years ago, which probably saved my sanity and my life. 


Are there community-based clinics where you live?  You probably need an antidepressant, at least for the short term.   It will enable you to make constructive decisions and see that the future is not the bleak dead end it appears to be right now. 


Take care of yourself.


if this helps
Credit Unions are less slimy than banks, or you could just skip it altogether and take your money out every time you get paid.

My church collects birthday party decorations, plates, etc. I would go you the church nearest you and ask for some help with the birthday parties.


I take a 20 minute nap and that helps when I get like this.
.
I think it helps to plan.
Even if that would be for 7 days.  I like to somewhat plan, and then deviate when needed.  Staples are pretty much always on hand.  For something different, I'll look at cookbooks and write down the ingredients adding them to my shopping list.  I think having a list and pretty much knowing what you want to cook each day is a good way to save money and curb overspending on none-such items.  I am battling with getting my kids to eat more fruits and veggies, so I am having that struggle (should be eating more rice and not so many potatoes).  Good luck....
Hope this helps :)

I have a teenage daughter; we live in the Midwest, just outside the Twin Cities.  Being fashionable can be so hard, especially on a budget.  So I hope this will help... :)


As far as hair, definitely a little longer hairstyle, but not too long... yes, shaggy is in, but it has to be a groomed shaggy. 


For clothing, the boys in this area in that age group are wearing anything from casual preppy with brands like Abercrombie, Hollister, and American Eagle, to skateboard punk, with brands like Volcom, etc.  Also, "rock" T-shirts are in. 


I support my children off my income as a QA person, so it can be hard to get those pricier brand name items.  Target has a lot of nice things that are very fashionable and look like the higher end brands without the cost.  Also, we have a store called Plato's Closet nearby.  It is like a consignment shop, but they purchase the used clothes directly from people instead of on a pay you if it sells basis, and they are SUPER picky... they only pick the best items in great condition that are CURRENT and TRENDY.  If you have something like that in your area, it is a GREAT resource... Also, TJ Maxx carries designer items at lower prices, usually they are overstocks.  I buy for my daughters this way, and they get tons of compliments on their wardrobes... no one would ever know that I spent probably LESS than I would have if I bought their clothes from Walmart. 


Good luck!!!  Have fun with the makeover!  :)


Yep...taking something for that which helps a lot though (sm)
Trouble sleeping, etc. Mostly get a restless feeling during the day...bored, want to do something different, need to think about multiple things at once. Want to hear the TV and work and still daydreaming about other things at the same time!
I know a lot about this - hope this helps
The first question I need to ask you is if DCFS will be keeping the case open on the 16 MO since they stepped in and the g'ma agreed to take the 3 children. This is important because if there is an open case, you will need to go through them to get legal custody (you shouldn't have a problem since the g'ma asked for your help). If you get the 16 mo, since you are within 5 generations related to the child, you would be considered kinship care, not foster care. You could then apply for TANF (Temporary Aid for Needy Families) which would give you a small stipend per month (how much depends on the state where you live). The child would be considered a household of 1 and have no income, thus qualifying for this benefit. In addition, the child would get Medicaid and WIC benefit. WIC would drop when the child starts school and then would receive free meals at school. Since you know the child has some issues, Medicaid will pay for services, including any counseling for the child and for you. You would have to cooperate with the state in getting a child support order to help pay the state back for these services.

There is a federal law that requires the state to place the kids with relatives first and special attention given to a sibling situation, trying to keep all the kids together when possible. The law also requires that the state (if a case is open) to help the parents reunite by providing drug rehab, parenting classes, regular visitations, etc. BUT, if the child(ren) are kept in the system for 15 out of 24 months and the parents are not reunified by this time, the state is to find adoptive families. They consider relatives adopting first, but if relatives won't/can't adopt (you would lose all the state benefits), they try to place with non-relative adoptions, again trying to keep all the siblings together.

You would not be considered foster care unless you went through the FC system and the classes and became certified. States give more help and money to FC parents, but you also have no guarantees that once the child becomes attached to you (and you to the child), that you would get to adopt the child after the 15/24 rule...so you risk losing the child being a FC parent.

I am in the process of adopting my granddaughter. Drugs didn't come into play until she was over 2 years old, but she remembers that her mom dumped her on me and we just finished 10 months of counseling to deal with those issues (she is 4 now).

If you want to write me privately, I'd be glad to help. It really is a challenge.

There is a website for people in this situation and I have gotten tremendous support from the people there. Go to www.grandsplace.org and read some of the resources there.

Best of luck to you. Over 5 million kids are in kinship care now...a very sad statistic.
Thank you -- it helps just knowing

I'm not the only one with a child like this.  What I did learn from the child psychologist is that I have 2 other children who react normally to discontentment.  Yes, they get angry and occasionally fight, but not to the extent that this one does. 


I have threatened to call the police but never have.  Maybe 1 of these times I will.  I sympathize with you in your plight.  I hope things continue to go well for you and your son.  Thank you.


Hope this helps. sm
http://www.myhomeremedies.com/static/fleas-and-ticks.html
you're welcome. hope it helps. nm
nm
Yes - I saw one here who helps with police cases
and she was very accurate.  I do believe some people have this gift.  If you think about it, shows like Medium and Heroes are becoming more and more popular and I think people are opening up to the fact that this is real.  I love John Edward too but he's booked for the next trillion years! 
exercise helps tremendously
even bike riding on crisp days is a sure way to feel alive again.  On cloudy days it brightens my day.  I hope you find your outlet :)
Cortisone helps many but didn't help me (sm)
I had plantar fasciitis with spurs for 2 years! I walked funny on my foot for so long that I caused a stress fracture of my fifth metatarsal!  At that point I had a cast on my foot for 4 weeks, with no weightbearing for three weeks! It was hard to do! Then I had a velcro cast for 4 more weeks.  After that my foot finally was well!!  It took a few months to get totally back to normal but for 2 years now have been able to wear any shoes I want.  I highly recommend trying nonweightbearing for a little while, and get a velcro cast if you can.  When I say nonweigtbearing I mean none - you have to give the inflamed area a chance to heal without it being aggravated.  Now every day before I get out of bed I do "crunches" with my feet - scrunching them up, which seems to help prevent recurrence.  Good luck to you!  This ailment can make you feel way older than you are because you can't do what you want to do!!
I also know of one religion that helps out community
they actually pay back some in taxes to communities where there is a volunteer fire department, etc., precisely because they benefit from such services.
Yes, it helps a lot....I can even skip a day occasionally....lol nm
x
Yeah they say nuetering helps...sm
Mine is so sweet I haven't even nuetered him. But there have been some offers to breed him to females and because he is such a wonderful dog I would like to keep his bloodline going with other family pets who are inside family dogs.

Now I can tell you if the dogs were bullying my child such as the ones in San Francisco they would no longer be inside and would probably be kept in some kind of kennel. I would not even trust them to stay in the yard. They would have been under lock and key. I know personally that you can't keep a pit bull locked in a room and expect that he won't get out. I tried that when I left my house because I didn't want him to be free roaming around the house because he is nosy and may get into something or chew something. Well he tore the door down and got out. I was so mad. But I learned that you can't keep them in a room and believe they can't get out. He was about a little less than a year then but now he is so good and don't get into things when I leave him. I guess the puppy in him made him do it. But I cannot express enough that mother should have never kept those pits in the house if there was the slightest problem with her son. Those must have been some mean pits. This irresponsible breeding makes me so mad. I don't want my dog to be some mean killing machine. I want a sweet baby. That is why I thought I would never own a pit but he was such a sweetheart as a pup. He was and still is real laid back.
Sometimes, though, it helps the person dying to know sm
you have accepted it and they can go on. My dad held on until my mom said I'll be okay without you, I know you cannot go on any longer. He died within the next few hours of my mom saying that to him. We, too were in denial, and I believe that is why he hung on so long. Tell her what an impact she had on your life and how much she has meant to you and you will love her forever. Is she right with Christ? Does she believe she is going to heaven? In my grief class after my dad died, sometimes you don't have to say anything, just a "meeting of the hearts." Just go over there and see her and let whatever happens happens. Let your heart lead you.
Exercise really helps. At least an hour a day. Gets those
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sorry - Only helps the big formula companies make $.
Toddler nursing is a normal! The criticism of a 22 month old breastfeeding is just a reflection of people's anti-breastfeeding attitudes.
Hmmm, less sugar helps your pain? sm
Geesh, I'll have to try cutting back. Since the holidays when I way overdid the whole sweets issue, I find my pain has increased signficantly, but I assumed it was due to all the painting I have been doing in addition to all the stress. I take Relafen 200 4 tabs daily and have Darvocet for the more severe pain, but I only use that at night, unless of course I have a nasty daytime headache, then I take one. I only take 1 day ususally. Would like to be able to cut back on both but it hasn't been possible.
Although hard with our jobs, exercise helps. At least 45
sleepy
Does anybody know what helps get rid of fever blisters really fast. I just got some and they are
not very nice looking on my lips. 
Eating an apple really helps my cravings. nm
!
Maybe as soon as you wake up, you can take some Benadryl (or generic), that helps me. nm
x
You're welcome, Kaydie, I just hope it helps you. nm
x
St. Vincent de Paul helps families in any kind of need
xx
Yes it is. I have heard L lysine helps this. Has anyone tried that at all and found it helpful.
:
This may be a little late but hope you read the post and it helps
There are many sites you can go to. The one I frequent the most is a genealogy forum. Below are some sites I go to often...

http://genforum.genealogy.com/

http://www.cyndislist.com/

http://www.familysearch.org/eng/default.asp

http://www.familytreesearcher.com/

http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/

http://www.cousinconnect.com/

http://freebmd.rootsweb.com/

Then if I'm stumped sometimes I'll type in last name and the town and/or country they were born in and a whole bunch of info can be found.

I hope the above links have helped. I haven't been to this site in awhile so forgot to check back on my original message. I did find out that one of my husbands great, great (don't know how many greats) married Robert the Bruce, and I found that my grandmother's uncle was the mayor of Preston England. I've found a website that has pics of him. Also is interesting to find out what type of people our in our history. One of my husband's great uncles dressed as a woman to leave ireland (don't know why), and one of his great great uncles was an outlaw from the wild wild west days. It's great fun.
The intake of vitamin K helps against spider veins. ..... sm
But be careful, do not take too much, only from food sources, yoghurt is a very good source of vitamin K.
There are creams which contain vitamin C.

If you want to take supplemental vitamin K in tablet form, first check with your doctor regarding the dosage.

I had some spider veins in my face, but those disappeared when I started to put vaseline in my face.
We like using the Zicam nasal swabs when we feel something coming on. Really helps!
s
Regular exercise helps, too, but watch for depression if you're
s
freerice.com tests your vocabulary and helps feed the hungry sm
if you are a mom there is cafemom.com with a huge variety, if you are diet-conscious there is threefatchicks.com. You can advertise on craigslist for a platonic e-pal or chat buddy.
No! That sounds too desperate. TIME. Just give it TIME. If it is real, then sm
something will definitely evolve. If you like him, flirt back! Don't act desperate because if he DOES like you, then the suspense will just make him want to get to know you more. Trust me on this.

I worked in the medical records department of a hospital when I was single and dated a few co-workers in my early 30s. It was fun. Nothing serious came about any of the relationships.

This sounds like fun - the beginning of maybe something to come....Keep us informed.
Formula is an inferior substitute. Criticizing nursing in public only helps the big formula companie
X
Totally agree, get these from time to time since teens...sm
It's a neuro condition, it does not mean there is anything at all wrong with you, it is actually related to narcolepsy, hypnagogic (sp? I just got up!) hallucinations, etc. And I HATE when I get these, it is always freaky, my siblings get this too, at times. I can "go away" for years and years before you get another episodes, so don't worry! I heard that when you are under a lot of stress or are very busy with things that this happens more??? Take care!!
It's time to stop when you or the kid(s) feel it is time, and no sooner. sm
My grandmother (who passed away at the young age of 107 back in the mid 1990s) was STILL celebrating every little holiday for all of her many kids and grandkids, and she would STILL give me a chocolate bunny every Easter, as she had since I was a toddler and even though I was 40ish at the time (and I still delighted in biting its head off in front of her, as I had also done since I was a toddler, which always met with mock disapproval from her).

Don't let anyone dampen your joy in celebrating your traditions.
The very 1st time he talked about killing you, was the time
The guy sounds like a psycho.
Rachael Ray has a segment from time to time
on using the bottom of the bottle receipes (i.e. bar-be-q sauce, peanut butter, maple syrup) and I have used many of her ideas and been amazed at how far you can stretch a dollar that way. Go to her website, it will give you many ideas.
Oh Amy, surely there was a man who "kept" you from time to time..
or you were at least married and had access to money!
It was a great time - I just hate the time we are in now
I liked your post. Thanks for replying It's nice to know other people were raised like me. We seem to appreciate the things we have. Oh I should've also said we didn't have A/C growing up. My parents idea of A/C was having my sister and I wave a piece of cardboard in front of them. HA HA HA.

I just couldn't stand the 90s and 2000s are even worse. I hate all the politics going on today, the world events, the bleak future. The degenerates running around, listening to kids talk back to their parents, girls gone wild, etc, etc. I'm grateful my grandparents and mom are not alive anymore to have to go through this with us.

I love watching old movies and the music of the 40s/50s. If I was alive back then I would've been doing the jitterbug and all those other fun dances. Life seemed simpler and cleaner (even though I've got a mouth like a sailer - guess I got that from my Army days).

I wouldn't mind the turn of the century either. I love the clothing and the simple life. Those are the times when the husband took care of the wife. If I could be transported back to the 1800s I surely would in a second.
Time out and then spanking if time out
If we are out in public however, we do not go home. Spanking right there and then and the kids learn REAL QUICK mom means business. I do not mess around and I have a 17-year-old now that has enlisted in the military and THANKS me for his tough upgrowing. It helped him through basic training.
Well, I have questioned myself from time to time.
I figured this was typical.  DD has lots of friends but two real close friends.  I guess this is all part of building social skills.  I am glad I did okay then. 
Same thing happens to me from time to time - sm
if I roll over too quickly. I have positional vertigo. There is not too much you can do about it except try not to move or get up too quickly from a supine position. I have never had an earache in my life either so that has nothing to do with it. I don't ever feel sick from it though, just more of a nuisance for me every now and then. If it keeps happening obviously get checked out, you may have a more severe case, though again there really not much you can do about it, all it is is some particles in your ear breaking loose and that causes the dizziness, etc.
If I had not asked time and time again
for the daughter to ask me are you upset- are you angry- are you in a bad mood- People can think what they want- She is a very intelligent person and my asking to please should be enough. Gest of the posting. Selfish, OMG, that is really a laugh. I have and do take care of others well before my needs- I have given of myself, my time, my finances, the whole thing until, now this will sound selfish- it is my time now. I take care of me now- this is selfish but this is the truth. I raised my family, did all I could (still do for the daughter if she needs assistance which she never asks for but I offer)and now in golden years, me time.
Yes. Next time put a time limit on it., but is there any way you
nm
I keep it in the office part time and on the patio part time
I've got the self-cleaning electric litter box (and boy is it worth the $100), and have a huge throw rug under it with a smaller rug by the litter pan that has a bumpy mat on top of it to catch the excess. I keep it in the office from April to October but on the patio from October to March as it is too hot in FL to leave the patio door open for them during the summer months. I also put out a spare box when we go out of town for the weekend.

Try a box that has deeper sides maybe, or not as much litter in it?