there's a good chance
Posted By: deenibeeni on 2009-01-01
In Reply to: Finish this story. - anon
that boy & girl are seeing each other as they used to be, not as they now are, & through the additionally warmifying haze of longing & regret. I went through something similar but neither of us was married at the time we got back in touch 20 years later (I was divorced, he had never married). By the time we met up again, 20 years' worth of unspent passion had reached such a pitch that it was like being on a drug. We spent a lot of time together over the next couple of years but were not physically intimate this time around. Now here's the kicker: Not only did the feelings eventually pass, I now realize he is one of the most annoying individuals I know. Maybe he was always that annoying; I'm not even sure. At any rate, I think if we had become intimate this time, my conclusion would have been the same, except that sex would have made things completely icky. Now we have casual contact. We live in different cities. We talk every few months if that, & it's okay. It's nice to still be in touch, even if it's only to honor the past. I consider myself lucky that I was able to work all this out outside of another relationship and that no one was hurt.
It's useless to speculate on what we would have been to each other if we'd stayed together & been a couple all those years, how we might have ended up as people. Maybe I wouldn't find him as annoying, or maybe I'd be in prison for having murdered him at some point, who knows. The point is, we weren't together all those years, we went off & became adults & lived most of our lives away from each other & became who we became, & there's no changing any of that.
The moment when I realized that he was not now who he used to be 20 years ago was very difficult. A collision of past & present. I felt a lot of grief over the loss of him, loss of the feelings, loss of youth. It would have been easy to mistake all these feelings for romantic love. I'm not saying any of this is the case for the story in question, I'm just saying Girl should be sure before she unloads a good man. The process of coming to terms with the past may cost her dearly.
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This may be your last chance, your only chance...
This may be the only chance--it may be the last chance for you to save your son.
My son started in with smoking pot and drinking alcohol at about the same age. I, unfortunately, was too soft, was a push over, and I, too, didn't want to go overboard. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret my decision.
Every time I hear the wail of a siren in the distance and it is coming toward this part of time, I cringe, and I wonder if they've come for my son. Every time I get a knock on the front door, the thought goes through my head that it may be "the knock," associated with the police coming to tell me my son is dead.
My son is 28 years old now, and he is not only an alcoholic (and a nasty, obnoxious drunk at that), he is addicted to meth. He will take anything just to get "high." He stole the phenobarbital that I give to my dog to control his epileptic fits. He drank 2 whole bottles of cough syrup with DMX just to get high and hallucinate. It doesn't matter what the drug is, he'll take it. His primary jones is with meth. I saw my son the other day for the first time in about a year, walking down the street. If he hadn't had the particular one-of-a-kind jacket on, I would not have recognized him. He looks like a walking corpse. His face has morphed, looking like the faces of meth you can google. He's 28, but he looks older than I am (55). He was, at one time, brilliant, with an IQ in the 160s. Now, he is what I'd describe as dull-witted, unable to reason his way out of a paper bag. Even his voice has changed. He walks the fine line between severe psychotic episodes and sanity--and he is toppling toward permanent psychotic behavior more and more. In short, my son is dying, and he lives every day to get more and more of the poison that is killing him.
Don't go into doormat mode. Tell your husband. Get mad. Do what ever you have to do--including having your son committed to a rehab facility against his will until he is of legal age. If you stay in doormat mode, you enable your son's habit--and it is a habit...one so well established that he thinks nothing of posting pictures of the crimes (and they are crimes, and YOU are responsible for what goes on in your home) on the Internet.
If you don't act aggressively and act NOW, you will be responsible for its outcome. My son is dying because of my inability to act.
Do whatever you need to do, including taking him to the police department--anything and everything. Once he tries meth, he'll be a goner.
I'll be saying some prayers for you and your family.
If you think I'm "too harsh" and don't do something, any refusal or inability to act right now may very well end up killing your son. I, unfortunately, am speaking from experience.
Is there a chance
he (and mother) might have mental issues? If this goes beyond family it seems as though he is missing something. I'm not saying it is an excuse but it could explain some of his actions. I always strive to understand where things are coming from. The explaination does not always change the outcome but sometimes it helps make a difficult decision a little easier to live with.
One (there are a few) of my family members I spoke of was my uncle. The time I finally decided not to put any effort to talking to him was when he told me flat out that I was a screw up because I went to college for 3 years and decided to stop going because I found a great job and wanted to settle down with my now husband, who was divorced and with a child of his own. This was shortly after I was married that I spoke to him and he basically told me what a mistake I had made. Well, here I am 10 years later and my life is very happy and fulfilled. I later found out that he's an alcoholic. I still would have made my decision but its much easier knowing that I wouldn't have exposed my children to his alcoholism anyway. I also don't feel that is something you can help someone with. They have to want the help themselves.
By any chance....
Did they do an I&D on the cyst? I actually went through the I&D for a pilonidal cyst years ago. I didn't know what it was, but my temperature was over 103 degrees and I just felt "weird" all over (the raging infection, I'm sure, wreaking havoc on my body).
Because it was "traveling" up my spine, the ER doc did an I&D, and that REALLY screwed me up. I felt most of the symptoms your SIL is describing. I don't know if it was a delayed shock reaction because when I went to the ER, I wasn't planning on the procedure, or if it was just an odd result of all of those toxins getting out of my system. I remember my dad being so worried about my condition that he dragged my mattress out into the living room so he could keep an eye on me, so I must have been pretty bad.
If she has a high fever with the pilonidal, or if she underwent I&D, I'd give her about 12-24 hours to recover; however, if the symptoms persist, I'd take her to her PCP or back to the ER.
Better safe than sorry, that's for sure.
Hope she feels better :-).
Is there any chance
I don't want to seem rude, but...
The fact that she misled you about the money and it's for her, not her husband...
The obvious desperation for $300...
The completely irrational behavior that defies logic...
Forgive me if I'm way off base, but could she have a drug habit and be desperate?
I certainly don't mean to insult your friend, so please don't take it that way. Lots of white collar people have prescription and other drug problems, no shame in it these days.
It's just that when people suddenly act extremely out of character and so very desperate for money that she wasn't honest about...well, stranger things have happened.
Again, sorry, and definitely NO offense intended if I'm way off base here.
Any chance
He's on probation? I've known people on probation who refuse to use their own address because they'd prefer to avoid having the authorities drop in unannounced to pay a visit on them.
Is he by any chance a deadbeat dad or in some other legal dispute where someone might be wanting to serve him papers?
I'd get the answer to these questions (and more) before agreeing to let someone use my address. I'd also suggest he retain a P.O. box if for some obscure reason he does not want to use his physical address for things.
Any chance a mouse is somehow
caught in the fan? Although when this happened to my mother's, it caused it to quit running and she had to call a repairman. On discovering the problem, she heard him muttering to himself, "Why me? Why me?"
Are you Catholic, by chance? :)
nm
Are you jewish, by chance? :)
x
**PICTURE of ER-MTs dog Chance**
I want his life!
Just got a chance to pass thru - let me
know how your appointment goes. I know exactly what you are talking about. I have to go to sleep on my side or I get ill. I am rather large in the upper department also - would love it if insurance would pay for a reduction. I haven't ever mentioned it to my doctor either - mainly because for each test that they decide they will run, I see another bill I would have to pay.
When you get a chance, google the
Alday family in Georgia, rural, mostly farming family, all killed in the 60s by intruders- I think there were about 5-7 family members they killed that day plus raping the woman before slaying her also. Sometimes people have false sense of security.
Its a no..turned down...not a chance
I had my meeting yesterday afternoon with my lawyer. Although I am clearly disabled I fall threw the disability loop holes. There are 2 types you can sign up for. The first you must have worked 10 years consecutively. I worked when I was first married and then when we had kids I stayed home with them until they started school and then went back to work as a substitute teacher. I had worked 9 years consecutively and had a stroke so I am disqualified there.
The 2nd one you have to have not worked or be low income. Low income meaning a little over $900.00 a month for dh and I. Kiddos don't qualify as dependants since they are over 18 or the income level would be higher. We are low income but not that low for the 2 of us. The only thing you can own is your home and one vehicle. We own our home and 3...the old truck we are trying to sale that might bring $500.00., the truck dh bought for $1000.00 and the car he inherited from his sis. Dh also inherited some land and some money from his sis. AND THEN there is the fact that dh and his sis had to put their dad's money in their names so they can pay for his care, power of attorney and all that, and although the money goes for ONLY his care and we use none of it it goes against my case.
So although I am disabled, in pain every single day of my life, I don't qualify for disability. Our income doesn't qualify us for Medicaid. Our income doesn't afford us insurance IF we could find someone that would cover me with all my health issues. I'm tired, defeated, exhausted, cried until I can't cry. I don't know how many knocks I can take.
I don't begrudge anyone health care...but how is it fair that I can't get it and its handed over to those that have never paid a dime in taxes? How is it fair that a convicted child molester will get his disability? (yes I know someone that is and will get his). I just don't get it. There needs to be decent affordable healthcare in this country for EVERY citizen. I'm not talking Socialized medicine. I'm talking decent affordable healthcare.
It should not cost $4000.00 for an ER visit and $500.00 for the doctor. Yes again that happened to me last summer. I would never have gone if I had not been doubled over in severe pain and my regular doctor sent me there. I left the ER with a huge bill, a prescription I could not afford to fill, and a huge bill I had to finish paying and I'm still paying. They made me pay $250.00 before I left the hospital. Another time when I fell and messed up my ankle my doctor sent me over there for an xray. My ankle was 3 or 4 times its size and they still made me pay for the xray before they would even do it. Something needs to be done with this crazy ridiculous business
Do they by any chance have a social worker you...
could contact? That way, if the social worker stepped in no one in the family would really be so "involved" and it might save hard feelings further down the road but might have the same results.
Have you already started the New Years before I have a chance?
chug-a-lug
Are they mountain climbers by any chance? - sorry, I had to ask! nm
nm
I'm more afraid of dying before I have a CHANCE to get old. nm
x
Adam is so hyped. No one has a chance.
nm
Is there an age limit on being able to sign up?? I might have missed my chance. LOL
Sorry couldn't resist. I'll never be too old to think that sounds wrong 
I'm more annoyed that the court keeps giving her one more chance.
xx
Any chance you could visit family or a friend...
for a few days when he leaves the dogs? Or simply tell DH that you will only take care of your guys? Let hubby experience what a job it is. I have a cat and a large black lab and those two alone can keep me pretty busy. Can't even imagine what you go through on a daily basis, let alone when you have extras. I believe in karma, and you have a giant reward coming your way one of these days, as do many of you other kind-hearted posters.
Oh goody, a chance to play doctor....
Do you have high blood pressure? Have you increased the salt in your diet lately?
I take a water pill, have done so for most of the last 12 years. I was started on it for hand swelling actually (and high BP), but the last couple years, I've had leg swelling when I forget to take it.
Mostly, I think some level of mild leg swelling comes with age. Anything that causes you to need bigger shoes isn't mild though. That would be the point where I stop playing doctor and point you to a real one.
Giving him another chance?? When did he start showing remorse in
s
get him a prescription for Chantix. It will give him a 44% better chance of quitting. nm
.
She made her choice but parents at least owe their kids a chance (sm)
She was given that chance and blew it - some would blow it and some would not. But I still think that with the way our country works today if you do not at least try to help your kids get through college you have not finished your job as a parent.
I head that was a limited-time only thing. I never even got a chance to try it. nm
xx
Congratulations! Any chance you can email me the recipe. Sounds yummy! - NM
NM
Anyone have any good holiday dessert recipes? Looking for something good to take to a party. nm
x
What a good role model you are for good holiday spirit...wow nm
Awesome! Good service is good news.
nm
glad to see you look at it this way! Really good idea! Have a good season! nm
nm
Good Fences make good neighbors
You can get premade cedar fencing that comes in sections. You dig a post hole at the appropriate distance and fill with a bag of quick-crete. Alternatively, you could buy a used fence from a place that hauls away.
You could also get an electric fence, just hook to a battery and run the cord (for retraining purposes) it would not hurt your dogs.
I feel your pain. Roll up your sleeves and pray for some digging weather!
Hey hon, you can have one. There are tons of good ones out there looking for a good woman. They ain&
doorstep. Seek and you shall find. So, if you 'really' wanted one, me thinks you would have one...
All good points, good post. (nm)
xx
a good movie with a good lesson
x
Good for you! Keep up the good work!
nm
Yes there are some that are good. This wasn't about one that was good.
x
R-I-D-D-A-N-C-E. Good riddance. Not good riddens. Riddens is not even a word.
my pet peeve
I would make a good Beth with wig on. Not sure DH would make a good Dog.
xx
Here's a good one.....
She is sexually inactive since being widowed by choice. 
Good for you!
:-)
Good for you
Sounds like she has a good home. It just may take her time and I am sure professional help will help. We need to learn not to let them train us. I have two cats and my dog and I am sure I spoil them according to most people but right now they are my family. I am sure Tasha will not be around much longer and don't think I will replace her for a while. Would be nice to be able to come and go for a while and not worry about someone taking care of the dog. Also it is a little more work training a puppy down here on the water in a floating home. So it will be me and my cats for a while. I am also not sure I have the energy for a puppy. But it sounds like you have sure provided a good home for Miss Lilly.
Patti
good for you--sm
Puppies have a way of healing our hearts! We won't forget, but they fill that empty gap..for the other remaining pets, as well. They get lonesome too after having had a companion for a period of time. Just give them time to become friends. I am happy for you!
as an IC you need to get a GOOD CPA....
I truly do not think you can do this yourself, unless you are so business-books acclimated and always on top of things.....
I've been an IC for 10 years and an MT for nearly 30, and as an IC I always get my things CPA-ready for the CPA (receipts/bills/statements, and I write everything down once I get the receipts/bills in good order in the late winter/early spring, by March, and so I go to him with all the categories and the figures and not the receipts/other garbage). You get a percentage off for your office, your electric, et cetera. The CPA's know all the in's and out's of this and are quite helpful and worth every dime, in my mind. I used to pay quarterly taxes (about $500-750) but now I choose to pay yearly, one lump payment by April 15th and I'm all very legal!!
Best of luck! 
It looks good!
And shouldn't that be rheumatiz? :-)
Good for you and your Dr..sm
That is great to hear. Our GYN office was out of the vaccine at the time of our visit, so they must either pushing it hard, or getting a lot of requests for it. I had seriously considered having my daughter get the vaccine, but after I have had a chance to think about it, I'm having second thoughts. I don't want this generation of teenage girls to be guinea pigs for something that may have harmful effects later on. And the government making it mandatory? Let's hope not.
some good, some bad
but don't you want your kids to have a better and easier life?
That's a good one!
!!!!!!
not good
according to about-to-graduate as vet daughter. As certain nutrients that the one animal NEEDS, is not in the other's food. I can't remember all of what she said, but know it can lead to deficiencies.
Good for you!
Glad to hear things went so well, and I'm sure your mind will rest easier now too.
LOL! Good one... : )
x
Good for you.....
 So excited to read that. I would swear that is the best "diet" so to speak. Great news - keep up the good work! 
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