the lying is only part of it
Posted By: anon on 2008-09-09
In Reply to: So you all have left your husband over sm - am I going crazy???
Obviously there is more going on than just the fact that he is lying.. Why is he lying - what is he doing with the money?
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Anyone with a printer deskjet know why it prints a page with part of it dark and part of it light.
It is not printing uniformly.
It's not the dancing part, it's the people part that I don't like. K? We clear now?
k
Would you think someone was lying if they said this? (sm)
I have someone I have been seeing for a while who never calls but emails me all the time telling me that he loves me and misses me. But he always says it like this, "I really love you, I mean it. I hope you believe me." or "I am going to miss you while you are gone, I hope you believe that." It is starting to bother me that he always has to add the "I mean it"or "I hope you believe that" part. Why would I not believe it? Why would he not mean it? Does it sound like a lie to you?
He has always written me the sweetest, loveliest emails yet never calls (maybe 10 calls in an entire year and a half). I don't see him all that often but when I sugggest seeing someone else he gets upset and begs me not to, says he will do better, but then things stay the same. I really do care for him but I am starting to wonder if I am just being taken advantage of. He has borrowed small amounts of money from me throughout this time, most of which I have told him not to worry about paying back. So now I am wondering if he is just writing the sweet emails to try to keep the gravy train rolling? 
it's not lying
It's just not. I was about to get all preachy and talk about how we need mythology in our lives--stories that tell teach us morals, that remind us of our traditions--but I'll stay off the soapbox for now and just say that for as long as my kids are willing to believe, I will give them stories to believe in. The five-minute cry when they discover Santa isn't real, is more than made up for by the years of joy beforehand, don't you think?
As for talking in front of the kids, I don't think that's really a big deal, either. Kids love to put this stuff together in their heads, make up stories about it--how come there are so many store Santas? How come mom and dad are hiding these presents in the attic? They ask those questions and still believe. They're kids; they're good at that.
lying
If he is routinely confessing to you about his indiscretions, assuming this is how you know about them, and he is not afraid of you or the consequences, I assume all things being equal, you are free to do the same.
You certainly weren't lying after
.
Problems with lying on back? anyone else?
For a couple of years I have had trouble with trying to sleep on my back....if I lay flat on my back for more than 10 or 15 minutes I get extremely nauseated...if I fall asleep on my back, I wake up freezing cold. I am a little overweight but not obese. I do have a rather large chest though...I have been embarassed to go mention this to my doctor because it sounds silly to me, but yet it happens every time. The last few days I have been having pain between my shoulder blades and palpitations....I am starting to really worry about my heart but I am just embarassed to go and mention it. I am 40 years old. I know some of you will scold me for not already going....but has anyone else had these symptoms?
Problems with lying on back? anyone else?
Don't be embarrassed about going to the Doc!
Honestly, it sounds like your body is trying to tell you something is wrong. Please get thee to a Doc asap! If nothing else, at least for peace of mind!
Husband lying and I am going carzy
At least once a week I catch my husband in a lie, and it is always about money. He writes checks and lies to me about what they are for, how much they are for, etc. If I ask him how much money he has on him he will even lie to me how much he has. This is just a general question I ask him to know if I need to go get my own or if he has enough for whatever we have planned. When I asked him about it he gets angry and defensive and "cannot remember." Or he will say he told me about it and make me feel I am going crazy. We are actually trying to do Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace" which says you NEED TO COMMUNICATE ABOUT MONEY AND KNOW WHERE IT IS GOING. What do you think is going on? Where do I get help? I am ready to leave, as he has been lying to me like this the whole 16 years of our marriage. He had a major gambling problem years ago and a counselor once told him, even though you've stopped the gambling you have not stopped the behavior, but he still doesn't get it. I have been in counseling three times with this man. I feel like i am the only one giving 100% to this marriage. I just need to know that it's okay for me to be frustrated and upset and ready to leave this marriage because of it, or am I just freaking out too much? He makes me feel crazy most of the time!!!! Our kids adore him, but I cannot live with him. What do I do?
I certainly do my fair share of lying
but i can't say that i've ever really made up anything huge but nobody has ever really called me on it either. Maybe those I lie to are either just gullible or too nice to say anything about it or maybe not good at spotting a lie. I don't know, but I do know I lie a lot. Maybe it's because of my low self-esteem, and maybe that's why people don't really call me on it, because they pity me too much.
Leave the lying, cheatin dirtbag.
Maybe, if agency lying, you can get any fees back
x
It's lying in the absolute literal sense, but so what.
I think it's part of the fun of Christmas. I wasn't traumatized by thinking Santa was real when I was small. And my children, who are now 18 and 20, seem to be well adjusted, too. I also don't think that lying to your children is the worst thing you can do as a parent. The "controlled dissemination of information" can be a good thing. My kids don't need to know what I did when I was a wild child, for example. And on occasion I've told them there were no more Little Debbies in the house, even though I had a personal stash hidden away. LOL!
As far as Santa goes, I loved it. The way I explained it to my children when they got older and stopped believing was that when we're very little, Santa is a noun. He's a jolly old man who brings us gives, a very concrete thing. When we're older, Santa becomes a verb that means "to give". When my oldest became aware of the Santa reality, he wanted to "Santa for my little brother", and kept the fantasy alive for him. Now they do that for others. I consider that a reality.
The arguments regarding the honesty of the Santa fantasy will go on and on. In the end, it's a personal family decision to participate or not, and I think we can all be respectful of other family's decisions by not divulging the truth within earshot of children who believe, and not arguing over the issue with parents who believe otherwise.
whichever one is lying will be the one to resist the meeting nm
x
Doesn't sound like he's lying, just sounds like you have different wants.
You're comfy in your life as it is. It's one thing to gain love again, it's a whole different story to gain love along with a roommate and all that comes with that, including losing some sense of freedom and space.
Letting a child about Santa isn't lying, sheesh
Telling about Santa isn't lying, it's a rite of childhood for millions of kids, as is the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I see no harm in giving my children hope in something so good as Santa. I don't remember being crushed as a child when I found out about Santa, I only remember the joy of waking up on Christmas morning to a full stocking and the anticipation of waiting for the big guy. We were so poor that I don't know how we ever had a Christmas but somehow there were always gifts from Santa, to me that's what he's about, not lying but believing.
People take really strange things far too literally, takes the fun out of the simple things in my opinion.
OMG you are living my life!!!! (Mine is lying behind me as I type this!)nm
x
As the saying goes - "Let lying dogs sleep" - no DNA is not in order
What on God's good earth would that accomplish? So that some sick tabloid could then publish a story about this? Those kids know MJ as their father. I don't care whether someone thinks they don't or do look like him. I have a brother in law who looks nothing - and I mean absolutely nothing - facial features, hair color, skin color, or anything, like anyone in his family or even any ancestors in his family. When husband and his sibling are together they all act alike and they all have the same smile, two of them have the same eyes, 3 of them have the same nose, and the way they say certain things they sound like each other and their parents, but not my BIL, his hair, skin color, the way he laughs, talks, or moves - absolutely nothing like his mother, father or any of his siblings. They joke that he was switched at birth, but from the time he was born he was never out of his mother's site in the hospital.
I think most of America does not need to know whether or not the children are really his. For someone to come out and say "I think a DNA is on order", the family should tell that media clown - it is none of your business, leave Michael Jackson's kids alone. They are going through enough as it is. I hope MJ's family tells them no. And I think Debbie Rowe should keep her trap shut.
No, but I hate my lying, stealing, sociopathic brother. Does that count? NM
z
I keep it in the office part time and on the patio part time
I've got the self-cleaning electric litter box (and boy is it worth the $100), and have a huge throw rug under it with a smaller rug by the litter pan that has a bumpy mat on top of it to catch the excess. I keep it in the office from April to October but on the patio from October to March as it is too hot in FL to leave the patio door open for them during the summer months. I also put out a spare box when we go out of town for the weekend.
Try a box that has deeper sides maybe, or not as much litter in it?
No part here either.
I cut color and style my own so I do it all different ways, but everytime I have ever had it done at a beauty shop they always parted it on the left. If I wear mine with apart it is on the right. They told me I do it backwards! I think they did it because I have a huge scar on the front right of my forehead and they try to cover it up. It is recommended to rotate it or do it zig zag so you won't have a trained part.
the part I wonder about:
what if that company goes out of business and you have a warranty?
I was part of the
When bad things happen, everybody goes "frugal," but a few things we have kept doing:
Frozen sandwhiches and frozen cupcakes. They thaw in time to be eaten, don't need refrigeration and can hold their own in a back pack!
maybe that was part of the problem...sm
I am not a huge fan of IE7 either, but I do not have any problems with it either, but this is just a thought...you are supposed to *remove* IE6 from your system entirely *before* putting IE7 on. Sam mfg or not, they have too many conflicts when on your system at the same time. My son is 'puter expert and he did mine and I specifically remember him taking IE6 off first. When you said your computer reverted to IE6 *automatically* then I knew what happened. It would not just revert *automatically* if you had taken it off in the first place. No wonder so many people are having problems with this!!! But I do have to admit that the downloading instructions are not clear on that point either...guess they just figure everyone is supposed to *know* this. You don't put two browzers over one another. good luck to you.
and you had better read that part again..sm
and obviously you always have to have the last word which again shows your ego. I asked you politely to drop it, but you just could not leave it alone. NOW it is the end of the debate, for the third and final time!
That's the part that would scare me (sm)
My daughter is grown, thank goodness. I don't have to deal with this decision. If I did have a daughter school age, I would be more concerned with the consequences years down the road from this vaccination. It is just too new, in my opinion, and Gov. Perry is trying to shove it down our throats. I would strongly object.
I don't think it's random, it might be part of the flu!
At least the same thing happened to my niece 2 weeks ago as she was coming down with the flu. She was in the bathroom, apparently just stood up and fell at the sink. My sister was blow drying her hair and didn't hear her go down, and just found her unconscious!
That part did not need to be stated at all--sm
as it surely led some to think that it was because he was Korean that he did this. He spent most of his school years in America, so he would not have had that particular culture that you brought up, in his head. He was a troubled young man and I surely don't think it was because he was Korean. JMO
What part of the south are you in?
Where I live, deep south, women certainly go that. Do not put an overall blanket on each statement, especially about the south because we already have to live down what others think of the south.
By the way, that's the plan..just have to get through this part first (nm)
f
Usually it would go on the painted part, but
type so that you can place it however you want. Have fun at the dinner party. 
It is not "Innocent" on her part!!!
"She also tells him that several men, married men, have been out there coming to call. She turned them all down because all she wants to do is raise her kids and ride horses." Did you hear yourself? She wants him to think she does not consider him in the same category as "the others." He is "different". Honestly, he sounds like a nice guy, loyal (so far), works hard, likes the kind of living that she does (horses, etc.) Just stay away from her and her land. Find some other land to lease. Go to the games with dh yourself. She is out to get a man and thinks YOUR MAN is THE ONE. They pick "nice ones" all the time because they think they can manipulate them. Of course, you could always let her know that you know what she is up to, but if you do she will probably whine to your dh and he will feel sorry for her for being "misjudged." If you stop it now, you won't have to deal with the mess that probably will come later! Good luck and I'm thinking about you.
Sorry about that "work on them" part - should have been
X
Do you part your hair?? (sm)
I don't part mine or my kids - I brush it and it has sort of a natural part, but I never do the old comb-parting thing. Just wondering if I am the odd one out? Hey - it says GAB board :-)
We all seem to have a natural part here. But I keep my
s
That works during the day for the most part, but...
at night I give him a set amount before I go to bed. If he eats it all, I get woken up at 4 in the morning! He'll pull on the blinds, knock over my lamp, and if I shut the door he starts digging at the carpet (and I'm renting!). I tried making him exercise more, but he usually just stares while I play with the toy!
I don't know about the supplying part
I think it is probably very easy to come by in LA, but investigated, definitely. She has 2 younger children. I realize that even parents that care about their children and try to raise them right still have problems, but this woman is as well known for her partying as for the fact that she is LL's mom.
I agree with the gym part
Ten years ago I was 60 pounds overweight at 28 years old. I was very depressed and taking an antidepressant. I lost about 40 pounds by changing my eating habits, then my stepfather got me going to his gym on a two-week free trial period. I LOVED it! I got addicted to working out, lots the last 20 pounds, had more energy throughout the day, and yes, I did feel better about myself with more confidence and was able to throw out the Paxil. I can say I'm definitely happier being thinner because I have more confidence and am not afraid to ask for things I want, where before I would rather sit in a corner and not have attention brought to me.
I liked the part where the guy had to run in front - sm
of his truck and put a rock under the tire to try to stop it, and it kept rolling over the rock. I had a truck like that once.....
I tell you what they do in this part of the country
I never liked stuffing - but here they make stuffing and make it like little balls (like a good handful) and bake it on a cookie sheet.
I do get the part about the fights sometimes
guess it just doesn't get that out of hand in our house, and I guess in your mind it is not out of hand so I glad that works for you. I just have a hard time imagining my SIL and niece acting the way she describes. We do joke that they have been fighting since she was born and will fight till death. We joke that my SIL will be 95 and in a nursing home and when her DD comes to visit it will be like "Good God Lauren, is that the only dress you could find to wear? LOL
part-time job
When my now adult daughter was a senior in high school, she was president of two clubs, ran indoor and outdoor track and cross country, went to almost all basketball and football games, had senior trip, numerous other trips . . just seemed like it was money for something all the time. . She got a job - it did interfere with track practice but the coach let her slide on it and practice on her own. . . She worked every summer starting when she was 15. . Went to in-state college .. applied for every scholarship available and most of her 1st year was paid for. . During her sophomore year she worked 40 hours/week at Macy's and went to college full-time.. cut back her hours at Macy's junior and senior year but worked full-time in the summer. . With the cost of everything now... lots of parents just can't pay for everything.. and if you try, you are really hurting your kids because they need to learn that most people don't get a free ride. .
I did not see the part you are talking about
and I don't have rewind here but she could really hurt herself with trying the high kicks at 68.
PS. I'm in SW part of Virginia. (NM)
x
Second part of answer
He can take depreciation, but not truck payments. Don't ask me why. Some day I'll find out when I have time to play around with the IRS site.
Actually, that is only part of the equation.
Food prices world wide have risen because of energy costs, climate/weather conditions, and increased demand in developing nations. Commodities are also a swiftly growing investment vehicle, which can also result in price increases. Global unrest is just beginning. The rioting will become even more widespread. The overthrow in Haiti is probably just the first of many. It is going to get worse before it gets better.
Yes he is a good man - not 100% but for the most part
Just felt I need to do another post to let you know a little more info. Our days consist of talking over current events, watching movies and laughing. We joke around a lot (maybe 30-40% of our day). We talk of things that interest us, what we want, where we want to be. Things we have done over our years together. Our days are probably pretty typical of anyone's life.
Maybe I shouldn't have even wrote anything in the first place. Sure we have our differences of opinions. Sure what he did was pretty crappy - actually way beyond crappy. No he is not trying to keep me from my family. I think what he is most afraid of is something will happen to the plane and I will be gone. He is not like me (independent). He depends on me for a lot. We do have our differences of opinions as I'm sure other couples do. I'm not making excuses for him, but no, I'm not going to take 25 years and just divorce him. Yes I do have a problem with confrontation (it literally makes me ill and I end up sick to my stomach). In my younger years I had no problems with telling someone exactly what I wanted to, but as I get older I find it not worth the headache and getting sick. I just cannot stand it so avoid it at all cost. Of course there have been times where I have gotten so totally p.o.'d at him that I stand with my fists clenched screeming GD it and so forth because just felt like my head would blow. That has happened 4 times in 25 years that I can remember and all 4 times he realized I was serious. We do argue, he listens and most of the time turns around the situation to benefit him (at least that is how I perceive it), but this is not every day of our lives. I would say we have "differences in opinions" maybe once every 3 or 4 months. So maybe I mistated myself in my original post, maybe my PMS was setting in. Maybe I'm overreacting and have absolutely nothing to worry about.
On a different note, my DH does tell me often that I am a very intelligent person, I am strong, I know what I want and that keeps him grounded. He tells me to keep him in line if I feel he's getting way out there. I understand the struggles he is facing in his life (used to be in some pretty high positions (military officer, manager positions, etc), however we do not live in an area or time where any of that is of interest to him. He is struggling with the "what do I want to be when I grow up", but I often hear a lot of people going through the same things. I listen to him, sympathize with him and then I tell him what I think. He listens. Of course it may not "stick" but he listens and a few days later he will tell me "you know you were right". That's why I wonder if he is going through a mid-life crisis at times. He has never ever once been violent or shown any tendencies towards violence. He hates violence and when he hears about it on TV he gets so angry and tells me what he thinks should happen to guys who are violent towards their spouses, children, animals or whatever. He's never raised a hand (I'd beat him to a pulp first). He has never even gotten so upset that he hits an object or kicks a box or anything. In fact, if anyone has a temper out of us it's me (inhereted that little bad puppy from my mom), but I've never done anything more than clench my fists and yell at the top of my lungs (which i'm sure my christian aunt who lived across the road from us got an ear full when I was yelling at the top of my lungs G*d F*ng D*mn it. HA HA Anyway...we do have things at times we should work out. I will read more self help books but no I won't go to a counseler (no money for it) and no I'm not going to divorce him. Yes sometimes I do feel like I'm living in hell, but for the most part I have a good life. At times I feel like maybe I'm the one going through a midlife crisis (no kids, belong to no groups, have no friends here - just me and the PC). DH says I should get back involved in a quilt guild here so am looking around the area (we just moved here a year ago).
Thanks for all the input I've received. I have freinds back east who are just like all of you... "you tell him this or you demand that or you threaten that you will leave him". I'm like...yeah, right, all I need is another argument.
Anyway...thanks all, just felt I had to post again to let you know a little more about what I'm going through. Like I say, maybe I shouldn't have posted anything. Just felt a bit down at that time. I can keep you posted as to what happens. Will be telling him later she's coming out.
I only saw the last part of this movie
Maybe that's why I couldn't remember. Thanks
I would email him, as this seems to be part of (sm)
his modus operandi stating: "I cannot afford to go out with you anymore, so, it is OVER! OH...I forgot the "You're a liar and a cheapskate!!!!
I am dead serious. Get out of that....whatever kind of ????ship you call it.
I get the low energy part too... sm
I use several things ...ginsana helps and I also use Emergen-C packets that you mix with water are helpful. Those things help with that part, but not 100% cure. I feel like half the month I am taking something to help me stay awake during the day, something to help me sleep at night, and something to calm me down during PMS. I never imagined perimenopause would include all of these symptoms! I am going to do some research and see if I can find any answers!
Not part of your world and never will be
Tried to offer a legitimate suggestion and got negative feedback which is so typical of you types. BTW this thread should be on the main board.
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