thanks--sm
Posted By: nn on 2007-02-22
In Reply to: so sorry - sm
for the hugs. that is comforting!
I have considered counseling, but I have no insurance and those things are expensive. I also think that too much time has gone by and too much stuff in between. It would be a rest of my life type thing to get my psyche straightened back out. Personally, I don't think any form of counselor would truly understand or be able to help, but that is just me.
as far as the perpetrater, well, way back then, 1966, things were a lot different. Women, or girls, who were raped were treated as though they had asked for it. The way the police and attorneys treated me was almost as bad as the rape itself. I was accused of wearing provocative clothing (wearing a black sweatshirt and black pants) as the cause for the rape. I was asked if I had any marks on my body, other than the fingerprint bruises around my neck, as *proof* that I had been raped. I was accused of not having fought hard enough to get away from him. He had a knife to my throat and I was supposed to *fight*? I was asked if the guy had an erection. I was asked how long the attack took. I was asked if he ejaculated. all very embarrassing questions for a 16-year old inexperienced young girl. Also the district attorney at that time was the father of a girl I shared classes with at school...consequently the whole school knew about it shortly thereafter. They caught my assailant the very next day sleeping in a gutter and obviously had *something wrong with him*, but he was released on 500 bail money. They told me that he had five prior sexual assault convictions against him in a neighboring county, but they could not use that against him, as it was not in the county where I was attacked. He ended up getting six months probation. I ended up with a life sentence. I heard that he even got married while he was still on probation and I still cannot believe someone would marry a person with a record like his! Obviously, you can tell that things come back to me quite easily, as I begin to share them with others. Like I said, it will always be there.
well, anyway, thanks for the hugs. I do appreciate that!
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