so hubby's a dork, but you/he love/care for your 3 children.
Posted By: NM on 2008-09-10
In Reply to: ok, i have to admit, i lied in one of my posts down there - suprmommy3
nm
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Mu hubby and children think it is hysterical when they do it to me
I don't even get an apology.
Does my hubby love me?
Guys, I feel so sick to my stomach right now. I really do not know what to do. Some time last year I posted on here about how I had caught my hubby looking at gay and transexual porn on the net. He had also been calling a lot of phone sex numbers. The looking at gay and tranny porn stopped so I never confronted him about that but I did confront him about the phone sex lines and he said he just called to listen and never talked to anyone. He said he did it to get back at me b/c I had been chatting with some guy friends online. Yeah...whatever. That did not even make since but I let it slide b/c we were going through a tough time with us losing our house. Well now we have an apartment and I really though things were going to be better but it's not. I feel sad and unhappy most of the time. I love him sooooo much and would die for him but I feel like he does not love me like I do him. We have been married for a little over a year and I have to beg him for sex, he never touches me, never kisses me except for them to be chicken pecks like you would give your mom and dad, never cuddles me. I feel so alone. And he has a child from a previous relationship and the only thing he loves and cares about is that child. I know he is not going to put me before his child and I understand that, but I would like to be as important to him as he is...I mean I'm his wife for goodness sake. When his son is here, I am invisible. I could get in my car and be gone for hours and I do not think he would even realize I'm gone except for if he needs me to clean or make him something to eat. I bend over backwards for him and do anything and he won't do one thing for me. He always talks about all this crap he wants and I have to listen to it and I never ask for one single thing. When I want to talk about something concerning me he don't even listen...it's one word answers from him. He never tells me I look good anymore or anything. I feel like I am fat, ugly, and a waste of oxygen sometimes. I know I shouldn't let how he treats me affect my self-esteem but I can't help it. I feel so unloved. I got married hoping to never feel lonely again and now I feel more lonely than ever. I don't understand, he acted so differently when we first got together. I miss it so much. I feel like it's not fair..I don't know what I have done wrong to deserve this. Anyways, besides all that, after having caught him looking up gay and tranny porn I installed spy software on the pc to monitor what he does. He has been looking at regular porn which i do not mind but now he has stopped that and has been looking at craig's list for casual encounters. Porn did not bother me because it is not real..it's fantasy. but craig's list...that's real people looking for real sex. And he is not looking for women, he is looking at tranny's. He did it yesterday with me right outside! Oh God what do I do? What if he is looking to really act out on this? Is he gay? Tell me what you guys think. I just wish I could go to sleep some times and never wake up. I just want to go home to my mom, dad, and bro and be happy again.
My hubby and I love each other very much
But he is very egotistical, and he knows it. He is also a genius (literally) and has a hard time sometimes understanding that we don't understand! I always tell him he is a genius with the common sense of a gnat (in a very loving way).
He has been having rough times at work and the talk we had last night was about his crappy attitude. He actually acted a little better today. He is in NO WAY mentally abusive to me nor does he mean to be. BTDT, not doing it again.
Your right, life is to short, which is exactly why sometimes I keep my mouth shut. I love him, and I know he loves me. What is that old saying, something about choosing your battles. When he gets on one of his "rants" for lack of a better word, I just listen patiently, then I'll pick him apart later if I feel the need LOL.
Everyone needs a vent now and then, doesn't mean life is all bad.
Having to raise 3 teenagers at the same time, now THAT is abuse LOL.
Bummer. I'm an Oprah dork - been recording
DVR=digital video recorder. It's like a TIVO. I love it. It costs $10 extra per month but is so worth it! I usually save up a lot of Oprah shows, and when I'm feeling depressed or just bored I watch a bunch of them in one night - makes me happy! Anyway, I'm sure you could watch the episode online if you want. I'll try to post a link.
Well, I love my hubby to death, but his sm
100-pound beloved German Shepherd attacked my 22-pound Cocker Spaniel several years ago and did $500.00 worth of damage including blinding her in one eye (popped the globe right out of the socket), I didn't spare his feelings at all when I said the dog either had to go or be put to sleep. Call me uncaring but the only thing I could think of was "OMG, what if that happened to a child" and that was all it took. We gave the dog to his cousin and it got hit and killed by a car 6 weeks later. I was relieved. I had nightmares the dog would run away and I would find her on my doorstep. I love all animals but my dog injuring a child is my worst nightmare.
I bought that for my hubby on the Wii. He and the kids love it!
I bet you will like it too!
While traveling or eating out my hubby, kids, and I love
to decide what we would do if we won the lottery. From the sesnsible to the outrageous. We have been doing this for several years and it is wild how thier tastes have changed with age. It is really a lot of fun.
No,. that's not me. My children love and respect me.
and vice versa.
They know that they can come to me with all their problems and we talk about it and we sort them out together. They know exactly that there are boundaries. I would never forsake my children, never! And neither would they, because I set the example.
My life is full of love from my two children.....
nm
As I was saying. Your own children. I love mini yorkies and when my kids
are old enough, I will get one from her. I have bought a lot of things for her dogs and do not resent her at all for not coming to see me. I am very emotionally healthy, have a great relationship with Christ as my savior, but actually feel sorry for her that she is missing out on so much because she refuses to leave her dogs. How can that be at all healthy? And you say you don't want to be around your family because they are not dog lovers? So what? Whenever our family gets together we ALL have things that the other person does or doesn't do, but we still love them as PEOPLE. My mom misses out on a lot and I feel for HER.
As a Biblical Christian, we are called to love others (she is too), and reach out to others. It says absolutelly nothing about keeping your family and friends out of your lives because "they don't like your dogs" or because you don't think they love you if they don't accept your dogs. What an enormously selfish way to live your life.
I blame the parents. Children are not getting the love and attention
xx
I don't care about your things, and can't imagine anyone would care about mine.
Whether it's my eating quirks or my sexual preferences, I have no need to divulge that stuff here.
It's NOT that interesting (mine OR yours!) and nobody cares.
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
I LOVE love love shallots! I use them in everything that calls for an onion and/or garlic. Mmmmmm. n
x
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
American Idol - Love, love, love Adam!!!
I think he'll make it til the end! At least I hope so!
My niece had a Yorkie, the love of her life! We all loved her so. Lots of love in store for you.
XX
Love movie "A Christmas Story" when dogs eat the turkey and they go out for Chinese. We love d
nm
My ex-hubby had it done.
He wasn't too keen on the idea either. He confided later that it was goofy stuff that bothered him--like what happens if there's an earthquake while he's on the table?
Anyway, he was tender for a day or two, but some Tylenol took care of it.
Actually I ended up having a tubal ligation done after we split up. That was pretty easy, too. They did it with a laparoscope, and used silicone squeeze clips on the tubes rather than cutting them. Easy peasy.
My hubby had one at about 46.
DH had anterior cervical laminectomy 2-3 years ago.
It was scary for me, and it was the only time they kept him overnight. They sent him home after rotator cuff and (of course) knee arthroscopy. The bad thing about Friday surgery is that the office isn't open if you have a question that doesn't seem like enough of an emergency to call about. They made DH a hard cervical collar ahead of time. Be sure they give you 2 sets of the cushion inserts for the collar, because you will want to be able to wash and air-dry one, but not have her without one. Do ask about whether she is to sleep with the collar on. Because DH had a plate put in, after the fact we were told that supposedly the collar was just to remind him to be careful, but he was sleeping with it on for about a week, I guess. Getting up and down out of bed was scary, especially because he wanted to sleep on his side. Very scary to get into that position, but once he was in it he could finally sleep. I was appalled how apneic he sounded at night. He always has a little problem, but with the collar on he was having pretty long pauses. He is a big guy and at risk for that anyway. The scariest thing for me when DH had this and the shoulder surgery is that he is 6 foot 2 inches and big. Me? 5 foot 6 inches and average weight. Thank goodness his mom was there for the shoulder surgery, but I think we did it alone for the neck surgery AFTER he stayed one night in the hospital. Oh, and because of the anterior approach, swallowing was hard for quite a while. Speech also was affected, maybe it was with hoarseness? Can't remember. Due to swelling, his throat was not totally normal again for 6 months after surgery.
You might rather be fat but my hubby
cooked some brown rice yesterday with garlic, red and green peppers, Kokoman sauce and other ingredients he just throws together. This was along with some turkey wings with a sauce that I spooned on the rice and cabbage with peppercorns. I cannot find a restaurant that can come close to his cooking. He never tastes and always hopes that I like it. I am 1 lucky girl. He is very mindful of eating healthy and we very seldom have red meat, once in a great while but his lemon chickens, marinated meats and other things make me really disappointed to eat out and then have inferior food. He says I can do the same. No thanks..... I will not shame myself. When he is gone from home (he drives and away) he fixes salads with his own dressings and OMG, I am just sitting here with a smile on my face. I am sure no one can compare with his foods!!
Hubby
I wonder if he is not looking. One of my daughter’s friends is having a birthday party Sunday. His mother drove by our house to drop off an invitation. We both talked for a while. She is a really an attractive lady. She looks like she could probably model swimsuits. Anyway, she had invited me to go jogging with her because I mentioned I was interested in getting into an exercise program. I am 60 pounds overweight. I also mentioned job burnout and told her I had been thinking about getting out of MT and the medical profession totally and going into something else. She told me that there maybe some job openings at the company she works at because they are expanding. She is also the supervisor of the collections/credit department there and told me of all the wonder benefits the company offers and told me that if I decided I wanted a change, she would put in a good word for me. Later I told H that she was nice. DH said, “I think she wants me (him)” I told him he was full of himself. Bad part is, 8 years ago I would have been jealous but now if he did run off with someone else, I think the sweetest revenge for me would be to let the woman keep him and give her full custody of MIL.
hubby
May be you 2 need to spice things up again. Like go out on dates, etc... It sounds like alot of your gyn issues could be effecting the way you look at sex. I would definitely talk to someone about it. May be there is a pill you can take!! :)
My hubby had 1 and did not like
He is a really neat guy and took so much time just cleaning after 1 use. I know some just use time and time again without cleaning but that is just not him, wants his spic and span each and every time.
I have used, my hubby believe it or not
was able to pull off an entire hair 1 time like that. It is really good for sparse hair and it does cover, comes in all colors and different sizes. He was going to a hatless place (because of his hair loss, he wears his hat all the time) but used that day and no one knew. Great stuff!
What would I do without hubby.
I feel guilty, but I didn't think I'd still be working at this age. My mom was a housewife, even though she had a college degree.
ex-hubby
That's funny - I did the same thing, although my son had NO contact with his father from the time he was 3. When he was getting married, (at 26), I asked him if he wanted me to contact his father. He said his "real" father would be there (my now husband who raised him) and that he didn't want some guy who with one squirt was labeled his "father" to be part of his life.
Afterwards, when he called and wanted to contact my son, I got his phone # and told him I'd have my son contact him if he wanted to. My son wouldn't even let me give him the phone #. Another bunch of time went by and he called again - how he keeps getting my phone number is behond me - first he found me in Connecticut, then Colorado and then Texas (he's in NY). This time he accused me of not giving his phone # to my son and I said I tried, but he didn't want it. He didn't believe me, of course, but I then got rid of my regular phone and got Vonage and I haven't heard from him since. But Ive never been sorry that it worked out this way. Serves him right for being a lousy father.
hubby
ONe thing i have learned is men ALWAYS think it is greener on the other side and come crying back because its not. So what if you have gained weight I am sure he has to. Do you believe he is being faithful to you? Maybe this is his way of feeling guilty for something he did while traveling. Try counseling. It worked for us. We all need to leave our hubbys for a week with the kids and ALL our jobs and let them see how tuff it really is. They feel since we work at home we have the freedom to do everything with time left over!! COME ON! I wish you lots of luck. I would tell him if you really loved me you would deal with me the way that I am. Yes I can try to change but is that really the root of the problem here. Sounds like an excuse! Sorry, but being organized and gaining weight should have nothing to do with if he still loves you or not. Tell him didn't he take the same vows as you did "Till death do us part"
My hubby is
incredibly wonderful. We will be married 20 years in October. We renewed our vows at 10 years (Just the 2 of us at a small chapel, well of corse a minister) and for 20 years the children want to be with us. There is a running joke in my family....My parents say that if we ever divorce, he can come "home".
hubby
ago and demanded my husband see his doctor. He went on Prozac and things were oh, so much better for a long, long time. Now he is off the Prozac, as he was tired of the side effects. We are back to the same crap as before, and I am so weary of it. I don't know what to do. I'm praying for wisdom. He just seems like he hates us all, that we are nothing but a pain in the a$$, and we all tread lightly because of his garbage. Unfair. Hugs to you.
That's where I'm from too, and hubby
was born in WV, but his dad moved them to Indiana when my hubby was very little. DH's dad was the first one in the family not to be a coal miner.
Hubby is a big packer fan, which sure makes my dad happy. The Packers are the only team I'll watch. Brett is adorable. I'm glad he has a super wife (since I can't have him :o>).
your hubby
I feel for you... and the signs seem pretty classic from here suggesting that he most likely has another lady. Cell phones may not work "out there" but somewhere along the way he eats, drinks, sleeps, etc and there are pay phones if nothing else. Your acceptance of his excuses give him the room to do as he pleases and his beating you down keeps you from thinking straight/catching him in his own game. Sounds like you need to dry those eyes and open them to take a good look at reality - then deal. It hurts and bites, but until you deal, nothing changes. If you really want to teach your kids about better relationships, show them the strength to stand for what is true and right.
How old is your hubby?
Mine's in his mid 50s. We had the same problem. Doc took a blood test and found very, very low testosterone, put him on replacement, and a month later he's got energy again! not just for sex, either, but work, yard work, repairs. Wonderful stuff, that, if it's used right!
My hubby and I...
still have long, passionate kisses...our kids complain all the time about it...*Geez Mom, Dad...that's sooo gross* We are always touching when we are together, whether it's holding hands, arms around each other, or just my/his hand on his/my leg...you have to keep the fire going or it will most certainly fade!
your hubby/his son
Just wondering what kind of "help" you were asking for from your FIL?
I know you were frustrated but just because he had not yet gotten hold of you doesn't mean he wasn't working something out to be able to help his son.
I remember once my aunt wrote a letter to my grandpa about how she thought he showed a preference for her brother and how upset she was about it. (She had seen her brother at my grandparents' house on a holiday and was so resentful that she had not also been invited.) My grandpa was so hurt by the letter. My aunt had assumed something happened that did not (the brother had just dropped by for an impromptu visit). She let her emotions carry her away, and really hurt her father.
It sounds like part of you might be blaming your FIL for your husband's behavior. That's not good. Your husband has to take full responsibility for his actions and you need to stop making excuses. I have a bipolar brother. He has been battling his problem for 15 years. Sometimes he tries to take his medications and make progress in his life and sometimes he sits and whines about how bad off things are and wants everybody to cater to him. Guess when he gets the best response from his family? Even though your husband has a mental illness, he is still responsible for getting treatment and not making the lives of everyone around him miserable.
If your FIL wants to help his other son, whether or not you think the guy should be hung from the highest tree or not, that is your FIL's decision.
Hubby and I do EVERYTHING sm
around here including remodeling. The only thing I hire out is twice a year I have someone come in and do the heavy spring cleaning because I have some medical problems that keep me from doing it. I can type three hours and pay for it. Matter of fact tomorrow is the day! YEAH.
I would love to be able to afford someone to do alot more of it but can't and hubby wouldn't let somebody else do it if we could afford it! Too picky!
got that right!! If u don't take care of your man....nm
.
Somebody already took care of that
I don't really care if you believe me or not.
Whoever stated above that the mother must be a decent person because she raised Daniel for the first 6 years of his life is stating something that is not true. I am just saying that you cannot base her character on that because it is not true, period.
You can believe what you want. I don't care. I don't have reason to come here and make this up, but I know who Daniel was raised by and a lot more than that. The grandmother did not raise him though. A very loving person who I am very close with and who has been in my life as a second mother to me raised him. The grandmother deserves no credit for that.
Trust me, there are a lot more people who this has hurt and affected than just those you see on TV.
Don't really care for any of them that much
And I used to be an AI addict! Now not so much. : (
I just got it right on #4, could care less what others think
NM
Oh, now that would just take care of everything..
Not. I would be just as scared seeing something behind me, if only a glance, as in front or the side. My husband is much more respectable than most because he lets me know prior to entering the door.
Of course I care....
It's called human nature to care about another person who is suffering. And the people who are obsessed with her private life, like yourself, are more than likely a big part of the reason for her suffering. It's just so sad that you felt the need to berate the care she is receiving. You would want the same care for yourself. And with the way she's treated every time she steps foot outside her home, I would think she deserves to have all the privacy that her money can afford. And you can bet it's her own money paying for it, so why do you care if she gets any special attention because the general public won't leave her alone? Shame on you!
You know, I don’t care what you or others do
and I think most here are just seeing what others opinions are, not that they use your suggestions but asking if others have similar things going on. I think you can do what you want at any age; having said that I also find it silly when a really older woman tries to be as young as her grandchildren. I don’t listen to loud music because personally I want to keep my hearing intact and it bothers me now (think it did when in my 20s also, just don’t care for it, ever). Play your games, wear your hair long, blast your music, it is your life. I don’t tell others how to live their life and others don’t tell me. I think most here only asking opinions.
How I took care of this...
…Ok, the housekeeper lives with a sister and they both oversee the care of a retarded lady who is blind, unable to speak, cannot take care of herself- that might be a place the panties could have been used- this person would not know nor care. I brought the housekeeper over tonight and asked her to "look" for my panties as I knew where I put them. She denied taking them, but never would look me in my face, keeping her eyes down to the floor. I am no longer going to use her services- by the way she is most always calling me asking can she come to work, not me as she has never had a real job in the work force, used to live on welfare and food stamps before that went out so making 60-70$ (or if she did more would pay up to 100 or so for her time here) was ok with her. She spent no money driving here, riding public transportation here- I always went to get her which if you look at money wise, it comes out to more than what I actually paid her. The bottom line is my husband has told me for some time things were missing but now I have seen for myself. I want to be able to trust people who are in my home.
when they are old enough to take care of them on their own...
I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was old enough to take care of it myself...I think about 10 or so? So I would think whenever he's old enough to take care of it himself, that would be the age.
Sheesh. From reading some of the posts here, you would think he was wanting a tatoo of the devil...it's not like he couldn't take those earrings out later if he decided he didn't want them!!!!
You need to take care of your
bills first and not worry about giving gifts. Explain to your family that you will not be giving gifts this year and you expect nothing in return. They may not like it but they will get over it. If they ask questions about what you do with your money (which really is none of their business)just answer them with the economy being so bad you are unable to give gifts. I would hope they understand as everybody is going through it right now. You may feel uncomfortable, but at least you will be able to sleep and not worry whether your bills will be paid or not. Stand firm on this and DO NOT feel guilty as there is no reason to be.
I have also chosen not to exchange gifts this year as I cannot do it. I was surprised that my brother was relieved. Everybody is feeling the crunch.
I wish you much luck!
Do you care....
Which way the TP goes on the roller? I don't but I know some who freak out and have to change it if it's going in the wrong direction.
I don't care for the new way
It's too obvious who's going to get it when they call up a couple at a time.
Secretly, I was kind of hoping Nick Norman made it LOL
These can be taken care of
by injections, just zapping them away, heard not much pain at all, check with a dermatologist. I would not see a plastic surgeon, just give a call and ask. I would not think a cream would do the job.
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