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Posted By: D on 2007-06-25
In Reply to: Normal or not? Son saying he hates h is sister (sm) - Just Mom

It sounds like you may be concerned about a little more than what your son said about his sister, that you may be worried about his behavior. While, yes kids do say things like that to each other (I'm sure I said it to my brother a million times), if you are concerned, then don't ignore that feeling. I know this is personal, but is his father in the picture? Whether the answer is yes or no, it sounds like maybe your son needs someone he can relate to. I do NOT think that school counselors or therapists are the answer at this point. I was a troubled kid and shipping me off to the school counselor made me feel even more alienated. I am a firm believer that sometimes kids need someone - either a relative outside the immediate family or a family friend, anyone - that they can talk to. Is there something that he is interested in that he could maybe get involved in?

Again, if you are concerned, I would not blow this off as 'just a phase'. I had a lot of problems as a kid and I think people blew them off as 'just a phase' when I really needed help. I did not need therapy at that time - in fact that made things worse - I just needed someone older to hang out with and talk to. Things did not get better for me until I turned 16 and got a job. My co-workers became my extended family and helped me tremendously. I firmly believe now that some kids just need someone other than their parents sometimes. It doesn't mean in any way that you are not a good parent, but sometimes kids have different personalities than their parents, making it difficult for the parent to understand where they are coming from.

I do hope that you and your family do well. You will be in my thoughts for sure...

Complete Discussion Below:

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Normal or not? Son saying he hates h is sister (sm) - Just Mom
- Thanks everyone for your responses (sm) - Just Mom
- My cousin had fraternal twins - boy and girl - Rad MT
- Sounds like he is jealous (sm) - I think it is normal though
- Mine are are 12 and 7. They say things - like that, yet they get along great at other times
- Yes, I'd say it is sibling jealousy - sm - Laura E.
- Boys do go through stages. - Me
- sm - D
  - Thank you so much for sharing your point of view (sm) - Just Mom
    - I will check back! - D
  - P.S. - - D
- Normal. I think jealousy is involved & also that his hormones are starting - to kick in. Watch out for the bad boy to erupt. nm
  - That is so normal, completely child like - Leslie
    - I would have said I agree but have you ever known one (sm) - Just Mom
      - Call the school to see what help they may be able to - provide. nm
      - He is 10 years old, you as their mother - Leslie
        I appreciate being able to bounce this off of you - thank you (sm) - Just Mom
        You have no coworkers since home but don�t - Leslie
        I feel like if I don't change the course now then I will have problems when he is a teen (sm) - Just Mom
- Doesn't sound normal to me - magsMT
  - I agree with you; don't understand all these other posters - sm
  - Get real. Cave kids said this, I bet. - And smart cave moms didnt make a big thing of it.
  - Not going to tolerate it, but (sm) - Just Mom
    - You are smart - magsMT
    - Have to agree, (sm) - nm
      - Sounds like her first kid and she has never - Shelly
- Yep. Normal. Just take a deep breath and - stop 'em from killing each other!
- TOTALLY normal! (sm) - CAMT
  - Thanks - I hope they feel that way about each other one day! (nm) - Just Mom

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