she may have a passive personality, is all.
Posted By: you do the calling, she always responds, you have on 2009-04-25
In Reply to: How would you all handle this? sm - donna
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no one changes their personality..
wake up now before its too late. I'm just a few years older than you and I'm glad I didn't settle for something less than what I expected. Sure you have to think of your children and that is 1 more reason not to put up with crap. Best of luck to you though.
pit personality
You know when my male pit that is inside turned a year and a half old he got real protective over us & VERY dog aggressive. There is no doubt in my mind he wouldn't kill another dog because he is just a completely different dog when he sees a strange dog he doesn't know. BUT there is no way he would turn that aggression towards us. AND I knew he was going to more than likely be that way because he has Boudreaux bloodline & his mother was aggressive. But that didn't keep me from falling in love with him or owning him. I just have to be careful that he doesn't come in contact with another dog. He has a fenced in yard and if another dog approaches the fence I give him his command to come inside & he does so. All too often this type aggression that some pits can display gets mistaken for people aggression, but these are two totally different things.
only IF the passive aggressive wants help.........
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Passive-aggressives
As with good sound advice that gets no one in trouble, is to tell her she needs to empower herself. She and she alone is the director of her life, and must take responsibility for decisions she makes. Treating yourself well means weighing out options, considering the repercussions of your decisions, and taking RESPONSILBITY for your decisions. There's real power in that. No one is responsible but ourselves for our decisions, and their results.
personality/alcohol
Both, I think. Alcohol makes personality traits creep out from under the woodwork. Surly, sarcastic, belittling, called me four letter words in front of the kids. Yes, I consider the way he talks to you to be abuse, especially if this is how he talks to you most of the time. Of course, everything was my fault. An alcoholic does no wrong. It is never their fault, even when they are down to their last dime with no family left. My children were 14 and 16. However, they did not go with me. He had brainwashed them into thinking that he was the only one who could provide for them, that I could only work for minimus wage and that they would have nothing without him. I stayed in the same town, we had joint custody, he had residential. He has since died and my kids and I are fine.
No. It's a personality type to try to fix
things. A fixer (a male trait that some women have) doesn't realize it when a person is just asking for sympathy, not actual help. They think that by coming up with a practical solution, in this case, an honest way for you to make some cash and everybody to enjoy a little pampering for a small price, she has helped solve your problem. She has no idea this would be offensive and hurtful to you. If you complain she will be shocked because she honestly thought you were asking for help.
I had to figure this out because I have this trait and it's really hard for me to tell if somebody wants help or just a pity party.
Pitbulls personality
I totally sympathize with you. Sorry for you having to go through this. I really try to urge people when they get a pitbull to really get to know the mom/dad personalities & the breeder. Like I said in an earlier post my male pitbull that is inside is VERY dog aggressive BUT on the flip side he is the most gentle loving dog I have ever owned. He just doesn't like other animals, ESPECIALLY dogs. We have a fenced in yard though. If he come in contact with an unfamiliar dog he would definitely be in kill mode with his aggression. BUT I knew what I was getting myself into cuz he is Boudreaux bloodline & his mother was aggressive. His father was an absolute sweetheart to anything. I knew that aggression would probably surface up in my dog & it did at a year and a half old, but I wouldn't ever trade him up for anything in this world. He wouldn't dare turn on us, and I know that animal or dog aggression is not people aggression. I do have a great respect for what could happen if I let it happen, but I am responsible enough to know what my dogs like & don't like & I never have a problem out of them. They are definitely a vital part of our family & we love them dearly.
My hormones rule my personality
and I'm tired of it also. I have many problems with ovarian cysts, etc. I believe if you have problems like these, it is worse. I never know what kind of mood I'll be in, and neither does anyone else :) One minute I can be laughing and the next I'll be screaming in anger. There are a lot of natural things out there they say help, I have not tried any but may do that soon. Here's just one article I found....
http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/womenshealth/a/PMS.htm
you *sound* like a passive-aggressive
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Personality wise? I am probably most like Blanche! LOL
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Passive-aggressive people -
Does anyone have to deal with passive-aggressive people in their lives, and how do you do it? Quick example of my sister:
Sister calls many times a day with histrionics asking for advice.
I give my advice, sister does the opposite.
Things do not work out.
Sister blames me for things not working out as I was not supportive enough.
That is my vicious circle that I deal with all the time and want to stop. Am thinking of "breaking up" with my sister, but that seems extreme. Any ideas?
Sounds like a personality disorder
to me. Perhaps Borderline Personality Disorder, or personality disorder NOS. Maybe, though, it is hormonal. An abundance in testosterone CAN cause aggressive behavior, mood fluctuations, etc.
I hope you get to the root of the problem. But, the main thing that concerns me is his unwillingness to be evaluated or even admit that there may be a problem. This is what leads me to believe it's a personality disorder (borderline). People afflicted with this and anti-social personality disorder often do not admit that anything is off keel with themselves. Rather, it's alway's *someone else's* problem/matter/issue.
Good luck to you. I'll be thinking of you. Please keep us posted. The erratic behavior is really concerning.
That's a lil too passive-aggressive in this case
Seems like the 2 of you have a great friendship and enjoy one another's company. I'm more inclined with Robin's advice. I'm so flipping busy. Between working 10-14 hours a day, spending time with my husband, trying to find 'me' time to relax and unwind, I'm a total slacker when it comes to returning calls or initiating get-togethers. I'm pretty decent about checking my email, but only because I spend so much time in front of the computer working anyway. I always kind of figure everyone I care about who cares about me know where I am and how to reach me. I realize this probably makes me a total social retard but I just seriously rarely think to pick up the phone and call someone.
I'd keep going with things as they are. Maybe when it's just the two of you having lunch or something, you can talk to her more about the situation and make sure you don't feel like you're intruding on her time or anything.
You don't have clue what passive-aggressive even means...
although I feel certain you should know what nutjob means. I should have known you can't talk to someone who uses words like "ur" and "u" rather than taking the time to use words. How old are you? 12? Cya. I am going where I can have conversations with adults or at least mature 12-year-olds.
alcoholics have personality changes; talk to AA group
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Research passive-aggressive behavior. (sm)
Do you feel you are always at emotional crossroads and everything you decide to do together is handled like warring nations, not like loving partners?
Living with a passive-aggressive behavior spouse creates a daily emotional roller coaster. One is "stressed on an almost constant basis" and feel as if caring for an unresponsible teenager.
The passive-aggressive personality pretend not to listen, "forget on purpose," and purposefully do not complete tasks they agree to accomplish. Sullenness is also a characteristic of the behavior. The passsive-aggressive behavior can "rob" another one from a beautiful relationship. They cannot always see themselves and have a tendency to blame others (especially spouse) for their behavior. They sometimes display "revenge."
To rule out other serious medical conditions, encourage your husband to schedule an appointment with his primary care physician for "preventive care" only, letting him think nothing is wrong. The physician should order lab testing, and ask for thyroid function studies, etc.
Wishing you the best!!
I think what a passive/aggressive manipulative jerk!.
x
The passive aggression on here is mind boggling. nm
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it was allowed because its passive (unlike alcohol) and
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twins nor triplets would be born at same minute. must be split personality, LOL! nm
;
Food Network TV personality...host of Good Eats.
 Great show...he blends science with food. It's perfect for those of us with attention-span-holding issues!
I guess Walter is pretty passive compared to your guy! Gets you going though, doesn't it? nm
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