she absolutely can be judged harshly; any teenager should be for this reason
Posted By: no msg on 2007-12-19
In Reply to: That makes me curious...how old were YOU the SM - Snickers
nm
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This person is putting it harshly but ...
the message is correct. and I just came in the middle of your conversation so sorry if I got it wrong. However, this is a sore subject for me. I wish I could counsel people before they get to this point.
but I was with my now husband for 8 years before marrying him. My daughter, our daughter was 4 when we married. I say my daughter because I felt like a single mom the whole time even after we married.
Looking back and I am now past my prime, I am 45 and with a chronic illness, but looking back I wish I had just taken my special needs child and moved on with my life. but I stayed out of fear of being alone, fear of raising a special needs child on my own, fear of getting a disease, not being in a monogamous relationship, etc. and even though he eventually married me, I do not think he was nor is he now marriage material. I have stood by him, followed him from state to state with his work, helping him get through college, waiting on it to be my turn and it never is. So these days I have taken the attitude that I am on my own even though I am married. I do blame him in a way but I also blame myself. but he could have just as easily walked away too.
Rule number one take care of self first, be it school, career, financial independence, etc. then get married. Not the other way around. Some people form attachments with their long-term mates but some NEVER do.
Start now. Start today. Enroll in a school, train for something you can be financially independent doing, be happy with you first and the rest will follow later down the road.
(((hugs))) I wish you the best.
judge not lest ye be judged I always say.....nm
judge not lest ye be judged..........
The Bible is also pretty clear when it says judge not lest ye be judged.
nm
I'll be gladly judged for!!! I STAND UP FOR MY KIDS!!
NM
as a teenager those were the best sm
I just remembered that it really sucked waiting for the dough "to rise". Never really saw any difference but my BFF and I loved them. We also loves Pizza rolls, couldn't get enough of them.
this isn't about you, and your're not a teenager
nm
we used to do something similar when I was a teenager sm
(back when the earth was still cooling,LOL). We took a block of cream cheese and poured Tiger Sauce over it. Sure was good!! Don't know if Tiger Sauce is even still available but it would probably be along where the hot sauce is in the grocery store.
Yes. Make your teenager responsible for as much as she can pay for.
and maybe a little more. Don't make it easy. Make sure that she has to work a little (not so much that grades suffers), has to budget, and plan and take the responsibility of driving seriously. This is more than likely the most dangerous thing your child has done so far her life. Make sure she understands that. It's not a social thing, a drive-around-with-your-friends thing. Preparing a young person for driving responsibilities is life and death.
Unfortunately, in the last three yeas, I've been to three funerals for teenage drivers -- all of whom were out of control in every aspect of their lives. Our state does not allow children to become licensed drivers until age 16-1/2. Our house rule was age 17. We did pay for the driver's ed, because it was pricey, our sons truly could not afford it, and we wanted our boys to have ever chance to learn to drive safely. Even though we taught them ourselves, as well, sometimes kids hear better what total strangers say to them! Also, I had a rule during permit driving sessions with my boys. They were never allowed to argue with me while we drove together. I was the teacher. I knew more than them. No arguing over anything, or else I terminated the lesson, car was pulled over, I drove home and that was the end until I felt we were ready for another driving lesson. That rule drove home how serious a responsibility driving is. I only had to do it once to one of my sons.
My oldest was lucky enough to inherit is grandfather's pristine 1991 Toyota (38,000 original miles) when pop-pop no longer could drive. It's a decent, dependable car. My son pays for repairs and gas. We pay for the insurance at this point, simply because we live in a big eastern city, and insurance is sky high. But, our son is also paying his own college tuition, so I have no problem helping him out with the insurance on his car.
This is a big deal. Make sure your daughter grasps the gravity of the responsibility. Don't argue with her about anything. These decisions have to be made by the parents, because it's a health and safety issue for your daughter and everyone else on the road with her.
comparing yourself to a teenager makes you look...
and you don't know how to put "no message" on outside of your post, so we don't have to waste time clicking to open your message just to see there is no message!
I think she said in her post that it was a teenager in her neighborhood.
My daughter would do it for that amount just for spending money. I wish I could have someone come in just once a month to do major cleaning. My daughter and I with the help of my husband do cleaning every Saturday with of course spot cleaning during the week, but just once a month would be great to do the things I hate doing.
Need advice on teenager vehicles......sm
Okay, it is time to get my 16-yo her own vehicle. I intend to get her an older vehicle (less than 10 yrs old), pay cash for it as I don't want payments for she or myself. How does everyone handle with kids what percentage you make them pay for etc? I want her to learn responsibility and appreciate the vehicle, just by my preference would prefer to pay in cash (less than $5000, hopefully). Do I make her responsible to pay her own insurance or half of it? By her own gas? or should I make her buy the car from me? Not sure what everyone else does so I would like some ideas as I said, I don't want to just give her everything in life. I want to make her earn it, take care of it, appreciate it, and be responsible, but don't want to go overboard either. She is in 10th grade, A/B student (Currently 11th place in class and working towards bumping up to be in top ten by the time she graduates). She is very well behaved, never a troubled child. She does have a lot of activities that would prevent her from making much of any income with an after school job. She is varsity cheerleader (off season just now, but will practice all summer), plays tennis, basketball/baseball manager, takes tumbling classes 1 night a week. So she is very busy in a good way. She would also be driving siblings to school for me and running errands occasionally. Anyone care to share what you do/have done or have any ideas/suggestions?
When I was a teenager my mother had mono
My dad and the doctor (IMO) ingored the problem until she had such a high fever that she was halucinating. At that point I informed my dad that he had two choices, take her to the hospital or call 911. He took her in and they were all amazed at how bad she was. I know they gave her some kind of antibiotic.
I could have shot my dad. He is a total hypochondriac and yet he would let her go that far.
When I was a teenager I loved babysitting
There were a couple of incredible kids right across the street that I often babysat for. I had them one New Year's Eve and I had planned games and made cupcakes for them to decorate. We had a blast.
There was a family behind us that had a 4yr old daughter and 2yr old twin sons. I only babsat for them once. I took my purse with me when I went to their house and one of the kids tried to get into it so I put it on top of the fridge. Walked into the kitchen a couple of minutes later and found one of the kids standing on a chair trying to get to my purse. Found another kid in the upstairs kids bathroom with an entire bottle of shampoo poured out all over the throw rug. I finally got them calmed down and was reading to them while sitting on the floor in the den. I have no idea how this happened but within a matter of a couple of minutes I was "accidentally" poked in both eyes. I spent 3 hours with these "kids" and got $5.00. After that every time the mom called I was busy.
When I was a teenager, my Dalmatian chewed
both of the rear tail-lights off my dad's new Lincoln Continental. She also once ate an entire, 6-foot leather leash. Taking her for a walk was like going out with a vacuum-cleaner with legs!
You sound like a little teenager with your response
You were the one who was giving a free ticket to a man freaking out after a childbirth. There is not that much freaking in the world. Grow up! You should have listened more closely to the adults when you were smaller. Your post was ridiculous.
I wish to share with you my experience as a teenager.
Hi T: Your story sounds a little like what happened to me as a teenager. Well really I was a virgin until 17, but after that I went through a period when I declared my independence -- or at least I thought I was. You are so right though about girls waiting and they should not just go for sex with the 1st boy they meet. I really feel sorry for girls who get caught up in this lifestyle, thinking to be popular with the boys, they have to do this. Where are their mothers and dads who should guide them and give them enough confidence that they can just walk away and not worry if they are popular or not.
I find this behavior very sad and disappointing for the girls involved. Of course now that I am much older and I realize how foolish this was for me. But there is still a hypocritical element to our society and boys want to get as many of the girls they can, but in the end they do not respect them. What a vicious circle it is as a teenager. I am just glad that is all behind me, as I am up in age near retirement.
If I had a chance to talk to the young girls, I know what I would say. You must value yourself and avoid any young men who would degrade you in any way. I just wish I had a mother to be there for me at that very difficult time in my life. That would make all the difference in the world.
P.S. T do not be too harsh on yourself. I think I know where you were coming from (mind set). This is a painful part of my past, which I have always wished to cover up. It is healing to bring it out in the open.
I wish to share with you my experience as a teenager.
Hi T: Your story sounds a little like what happened to me as a teenager. Well really I was a virgin until 17, but after that I went through a period when I declared my independence -- or at least I thought I was. You are so right though about girls waiting and they should not just go for sex with the 1st boy they meet. I really feel sorry for girls who get caught up in this lifestyle, thinking to be popular with the boys, they have to do this. Where are their mothers and dads who should guide them and give them enough confidence that they can just walk away and not worry if they are popular or not.
I find this behavior very sad and disappointing for the girls involved. Of course now that I am much older and I realize how foolish this was for me. But there is still a hypocritical element to our society and boys want to get as many of the girls they can, but in the end they do not respect them. What a vicious circle it is as a teenager. I am just glad that is all behind me, as I am up in age near retirement.
If I had a chance to talk to the young girls, I know what I would say. You must value yourself and avoid any young men who would degrade you in any way. I just wish I had a mother to be there for me at that very difficult time in my life. That would make all the difference in the world.
P.S. T do not be too harsh on yourself. I think I know where you were coming from (mind set). This is a painful part of my past, which I have always wished to cover up. It is healing to bring it out in the open.
Bulemic teenager - advice needed...sm
I've suspected for a while that my soon to be 16 stepdaugher is bulemic but her dad doesn't believe it. Right after she eats a meal she goes to the bathroom and stays a long time. She has lost about 40 lbs over the past year. Today while doing laundry I found a note that she wrote and says:
Eat & Die. No eat for a week (in & out) Lose 10 lbs. Eat again.
I am going to share this with my hubby when he calls while on a lunch break from work. Perhaps now he'll believe me. I've called the pediatrician's office and left a message for them to call me with the name of a psychologist treating eating disorders to take her to.
Any ideas of how to handle him if he still is in denial? I'm sure the stepdaughter will deny the eating disorder... she did before when I asked her about it. Overall she & I do have a good relationship but this is an area I know she's not being honest about.
i would take this opportunity to educate your teenager and her friends sm
on cycles and ovulation. you can only get pregnant during ovulation, which is usually 10-14 days after they start that time of the month. educate them at least and give them info to research and educate themselves. of course abstinence or protection is best, but education is better compared to kids having kids too.
teenager vomiting each month without menses
Hey all. Need some advice. I have a neice who has started vomiting violently every month, but has yet to begin menstruating. We are thinking it may be related to her period/onset of her period. i have heard of this somewhere, but for the life of me cannot remember what I heard. Any information/advice?
Also, anyone here that can recommend a good ob/gyn in the Lexington, Kentucky area?
Thanks in advance.
HC
My teenager has learned a text messaging lesson...sm
A couple of weeks ago while at drama practice one of her peers asked if she could use her cell phone both days of practice as she didn't have her cell phone with her. My daughter let this other kid use her phone and didn't pay attention to the fact she was staying on it the entire time of the practices (the other kid only had a couple of lines). When my daughter walked over to her her phone she saw the other kid texting - and we don't have text messaging as part of our plan.
The bill arrived yesterday and this other child ran up $63.40 in text charges because there's a 20 cent/kb/message fee. My daughter isn't happy that she has to pay this bill out of her babysitting money but I reminded her that her phone is her responsibility and I'm not paying her bill. She swears she'll never let anyone use her phone again. I do hope she's learned her lesson!
As a teenager, I worked as a waitress...it sure was a school of hard knocks. LOL.
Waitresses have one of the toughest jobs. A good waitress deserves all of her 20% tips. Not enought money, IMHO.
Our teenager learned a valuable lesson today about cell phones....
She got a new cell phone last month and downloaded a bunch of ringtones, even though I reminded her that each one costs money + the transfer fee, which the system prompts you for as we don't have the internet plan for the cell phone (don't do text messaging either). Well, she ignored the prompts about the 3 cents per kilibite fee and size of the files alert when she accepted the downloads she selected. To make a long story short..... her bill for her downloads is right at $60.
She is crying that she has to pay this bill but I'm not working overtime because she ignored my telling her about the costs and accepted the charges. This will teach her a lesson on responsibility. She was expecting the bill to be about $20. She'll be babysitting up a storm this next month to pay this bill!
can buy 4 items for teenager for same price buy 8 items for younger.
nm
they are not rough looking; they are just skateboarders; all teenager skateboarders I know
nm
I have had several, unfortunately. Is there a reason they did
an ultrasound at 7 weeks and again at 10 weeks? Mine were later attributed to the genetics of my husband's connective tissue disorder, but we were unaware of his diagnosis during that time. However, I am curious as to why they would be following you so closely with ultrasounds at this point in your pregnancy. (((hugs)))
Reason
The reason I asked is because our 3 year-old neighbor girl walks around with hers all the time. Drives me nuts. Like you said, cannot understand them when they talk. I figure if potty trained can get rid of that too. Of course they like to brag about what a big girl she is now, but........
Ok, the reason why I ask, of course, is
the medication you possibly might have been taking but back to the drawing board. I took synthroid since the late 80s and my hairs, yes hairs, about 2 of them left was worrying the crap outta me. Read here and then other places Synthroid was known for causing the hair loss. By the way, it does not get better. Mine had gotten to the point of my wearing wigs and thinking about hair replacement but since overall, hair replacement not an ideal plan for me. I went to endo physician, told him not taking the medicine any more and asked for Armour. The hair is growing back and I am a happy girl. I at 1 time had the real lush hair so the falling out really did not get better until I changed the medicine. Oh, BTW, for the person whose hair comes out more after shampooing, mine did exactly the same, could run my hand through it and it came out in gobs. I feel your pain because I was there also.
No reason given so far...
I think she didn't think AJ could ever be a Tony...provide for her in the way Carm is provided for...just a guess. Love that show, absolutely the best writing and acting bar none! When that goes, so does my HBO, but I do like Big Love too!
the reason they
are taking it this far is because it is a drug-resistant form of TB.
I don't think they are quarantining each and every one of his clients are they? But yeah, if a person has TB and they are noncompliant with taking the medication they can actually be locked up for the period of time that they need to take the medication. Its a serious thing.
One reason might be that
girls are starting earlier, and the younger they are, the more likely mom's help will be treasured. What girl wants to be caught at school unprepared? Also, lines of communication need to be open because back when I was in school, there was no time allowed for bathroom breaks longer than about 30 seconds, so this can cause real management problems if you know what I mean.
This is something I would rather do without and the reason
first of all handing out money to people who do not even file taxes and handing out more money to stimulate the economy only is working against it. You don’t spend more when we are already in a recession. The people paying the most taxes are the ones getting the least out of this. Oh I love the way the gov works. If I get something plan on putting in the bank to draw interest to pay for the taxes I will be charged on it come 2009.
Reason behind my not asking
dont have to count on a job really anymore- doing now because want to- in the past raising family and such -only chump change needed now.
One reason would be
drugs like methamphetamine! Also, the easy times we had for so long are sort of bad for moral values. As a society we think we're entitled to have it all, whether we have worked for it or not. Even gluttony comes from this attitude, I believe. During hard times, sure there was crime driven by poverty, but it was a whole other country crime-wise. Men came back from the war with DRIVE to better themselves. They found wives and settled down to work and make something of themselves. They understood there was some luck involved too, and took it in stride. If they stumbled, they tried again. They had discipline. They expected nothing handed on a platter. That's why they are considered the Greatest Generation; hard times built character.
yes. I did. My son is the reason that...
I started doing transcription. I may not make quite as much as I used to, but I do not have to pay for daycare and I get to be home with my son, not to mention the gas money I save (especially when fuel was so high). I think that working outside of the home was easier than doing all of the housework, taking care of the baby (soon to be babies in a week, or so) and working. Even if I still had to do all of the housework, soimebody else watching my son would make my job that much easier. I choose, however, to stay home with him and work a little harder. What I do miss is daily adult interaction--especially with my husband in Iraq right now.
Yes for some reason or the other....sm
the girlfriend is out of the picture now. Maybe she saw his true colors.
The only reason I could see for not
letting someone work as a nurse or whatever with epilepsy is that they would have to wait a while if they had a seizure to make sure it had not become a chronic problem, just like not being able to drive for a certain length of time after a seizure.
no, that's not the reason.
nm
Right, and men usually marry for one reason
for someone to take over their mom's job :)
Maybe that is the reason for my neighbors
still having their lights on the house, and ON.
The reason they did the 2nd ultrasound was...sm
when I went for the monthly checkup yesterday they didn't hear the heartbeat on the external doppler; however, at my stage they told me before hand that they don't always hear it. They said that since I had the prior miscarriage that if I'd like they could do the ultrasound just so we could see the heartbeat and confirm all was still going well. The midwife I saw was just as surprised as my husband & I that the sonogram gave the results it did. We see the doctor this afternoon after the lab results come back from the blood work they drew yesterday. I am having some light spotting this morning. I'm trying to stay calm in case the sonogram was wrong but know that more than likely the baby did die.
The reason for the Pamelor is
hopefully to get a good nights sleep as the rheumatologist said so important because of my flare of fibromyalgia which has gone on for over a month now. No depression at all and not prescribed for this. I took the smaller dose last night, went to sleep around 11:30 and up with pain at 5 something this morning, so not getting the amount of rest I should. Hurting with the fibro has now put me into shingles. I want to know when the fun starts!!
I agree. The only reason she is on
is because of those x-rated pics of hers.
if there should only be 1 reason to abort
if you are pregnant by rape or incest, do you want to keep the child and explain to that child why he was born, do you not tell the child, and give up for adoption, when there are too many children waiting now, and most adopted children want to know/find their real parents, how does a child of rape/incest feel about themself, does anybody know, and they live their entire life knowing where they came from, and do you tell him who the waste-of-oxygen-and-taxpayers-money father is....
I have tuned it all out for a reason
I hate this happened to all those fine people. I told hubs yesterday the news channels should not be playing information about the killer, giving him credit and showing the ranting and raving of someone apparently totally out of control and that would be what the killer want. I had this "I told you so" morning when the news people said exactly what I had just said yesterday. I get so saturated with watching things like this and getting teary and sad, as in 9/11, Katrina and the like. I intentionally did not look except when the story first broke and then not long. My heart just breaks seeing stories like this and I am trying to keep my nose to the grindstone.
No. Never have been for some strange reason.
//
exactly! and the main reason why a certain--sm
someone does not want the war to end yet...too much money in it for him. blah!
I would think nonpayment would be the best reason to be
x
Thank you for a voice of reason
I think there are more than one or two of us in this predictament. Making the changes I'm trying to make right now is actually exacerbating the anxiety, but I know it's my only way out and in the long-run will alleviate the anxiety. My body and mind have been screaming at me for a year now, I can't live on Xanax to keep this job, I'm getting less and less effective and more apathetic. My spouse is supportive and has recently put his foot down on "no dinners at the computer" and "no vacations where I look at you hunched over a computer," and "tell them to take their vacation policy and stick it where the sun doesn't shine." I think I needed that nudge and am glad for the support, though I still feel someewhat guilty when I don't push myself to the limit.
Quietmoods, you're not alone.
If you would take into consideration this is for a reason
and it has to do with the viability of a fetus. Miscarriages have to do with the fact a baby cannot make it living outside the womb for 1 reason or another. It is nature's way of saying something not right here. I had a miscarriage, was not bothered in that I know the reasoning behind. It is very easy to get pregnant after a miscarriage, by the way. I did and then months later had a daughter. When a person dies even I accept with if it were not to be, wouldn’t be.
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