shame on your 2 sisters! Did they talk
Posted By: () on 2009-06-08
In Reply to: meanest person - Nature
your mother into disinherit you or leave you out of her will? If there is nothing in written by your mother against you, you are still a legal heir and can still go to court!
Believe me, God will get them! Shame, shame!
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you didnt write that conversation. shame shame
s
Sisters
I'm from a family of 5, 3 girls and 2 boys. My younger sister at the age of 42 died a year ago suddenly from a heart attack. It was a total shock  . Some times I feel guilty because I am still alive, but I've been trying to make each day more special than before she died. I don't understand why she died, as she was the most active and healthy out of the family. She lived a crazy life and for some strange reason I admired her for that. There are still days when I wake up hoping that it was just a dream. I keep in touch with both brothers because they live close. My older sister lives in another state, so we don't talk or see each other very often. Sure stuff happens in families and people fight. I have learned that most of the time the fights are about petty and superficial things, like money and who gets what. It's just not worth it.....because when you think about it....in the end money can't comfort you or talk to you like a sister could. My mother also died a couple of years before my sister, and I just miss them more than I could explain in words. I'm stuck in a house with all guys, husband and two teenage boys. It would have been nice to have had a daughter to do things with.....but it's not gonna happen at my age.
To make a long story short......there is no other love more special than between sisters  and I would give anything to have her back. Before she died, she told me she was moving back to be near family again. That night when she called I was too busy typing to talk...boy do I wish I could do that over again!!!! We live and learn, but it was a lot more fun when she was still here.
My 2 sisters.
Would love to have more friends. It seems that everyone is too busy.
OMG! We might be sisters-in-law!
LOL!! No kidding - your in-laws sound like mine. My husband had a very cold, formal upbringing. When he was 17 he found all his baby pictures in the barrel by the curb waiting for the trashmen!
I don't understand people like that, but that makes it even more crucial that you show your boys true love and affection - even your husband is probably learning a lot by watching a real loving mother in action.
You go girl!!
Including sisters
What is another role 2 sisters could play in a wedding besides bridesmaid? I was thinking about having them both stand at the guest register. It is a small, simple wedding and there are not a lot of "parts" for them to have. Only having one matron of honor. She is the groom's sister and introduced us. I think my sisters will be a little miffed for not also being bridesmaids but I only one since I'm keeping it small (as well as other reasons). Also, what is something else a 4-year-old boy could do other than being the ring bearer? Thanks so much for the tips. You guys are the best. Thanks for letting me pick your brains.
Sisters . . can't pick em
As the oldest of 10, 2 brothers, one passed on quite young, and 6 sisters, it's bittersweet. Sometimes I think I am the odd one as I don't think like my sisters, and therein lies the problem. Our parents died young. Three of us married sisters took in two younger ones each, and did a relatively good job, not great, but they were loved, cared for, included in everything, and I truly enjoyed and relished their company. Now we are all adult women, and I hardly see them because they are too weird. I have always praised them, and have always been proud of them. They all educated themselves, have masters and bachelor degrees in the medical field. What they have in education they lack in common sense or the ability to gain insight. It amazes me and floors me that they hate my mother's family. My sisters target them for neglect and abandonment, when in reality we had lousy, abusive parents who did not take care of themselves, which is in part why they died so young. My sisters focus their hurt on our mother's family. My sisters are narcissistic, antisocial, and completely paranoid of me because I do get along with my mother's family. My sisters do not include me in any of the holiday functions. Oh well, I say, I am the lucky one because I can be objective, look at painful situations, hold no one accountable for my lot in life, gain insight and grow from my past, and love being around people and socializing. What hurts me is that I have finally figured out why they are so distant with me - pretty much without saying it clearly, this summer, the sister I was the closed to, had a talk with me and pretty much feels that it would have been better if they had been adopted out!! Unbelievable. That is so easy to say because it did not happen that way. Now, I think the only sad part is that they all have such beautiful children, and what a loss that they do not allow me to have a relationship with them. I would love to have a relationship with my nieces and nephews, take them out, have them over for sleep overs, and cookie baking. Life is so funny sometimes. In spite of it all, I think that I am the one truly blessed and pretty lucky.
he was 19 or 20 and sisters were 12 or 13, and 8 or 9, very young.
nm
What would your teacher sisters say to your views?
kli
Cat sisters: Fluffy and McKenzie...
Griffin.
No sisters, 1 brother deceased, just me
NM
My mother and her sisters all had copies
of my grandparent's along with the doctor's office and there was a copy in their hospital charts.
Were the sisters children when this happened??!! sm
If so, then yes, I would leave him immediately. I was thinking of them all as young adults.
My sisters and nieces and nephews and I stopped
exchanging gifts several years ago. My mom and dad and my family stopped exchanging gifts a couple of years ago. This year, my 2 grown children and my husband and I agreed to keep Christmas very, very simple. One gift each. No big major spending. We have a new grandson who is a week old and, of course, he will receive gifts from us, but, even for him the spending will be kept to a minimum this year 'cause he won't know the difference. Maybe you need to just tell your family that you've decided to cut back this year. They may not understand, but you should not have to stress about such a beautiful time of the year. I know that I am actually looking forward to the holidays for the first time in a long time because I'm not so concerned about how I'm going to be able to buy gifts for everybody. We are by no means rich people, but we do have what we need and a lot of what we want. There is really nothing that any of us needs. We are truly blessed. 
Seems awful strange your sisters coming out - sm
out with this 17 years later--- do they have a motive? Do they want your marriage to break up for some reason? Would they band together and lie to make you miserable? Any bad blood? I find it hard to believe a 20-y/o guy would try to seduce and 12 and 8-y/o-- unless he is a pedophile--I know guys can get freaked when a baby is born, no sex for six weeks and all that, but still find this hard to swallow. In any case your trust is broken, you need to go to counseling. I would not trash my marriage over it though especially if you both still love each other and it is a he said/she said thing. It is hard to believe someone would make up such a story, but then again why did they wait 17 years to come to you with this info, that makes your wonder too, what do they hope to acheive by making you miserable and possibly a divorced single mother? You are in a lose-lose situation no matter what you do. If you stay in your marriage your sisters will never forgive you--- how have they been acting with him for the last 17 years, seemingly okay, or aloof, etc? Look at everyone's interactions over the years, it may give you some insight. In any case, counseling is a must, if he won't go, go without him, but if he wants to help restore your trust in him, he will attend. Good luck.
Just shame on you is all I can say
you are upholding the kids whose behavior is out of hand? I do not know why a teacher would want to teach with what they have to work with now days and making excuses for children who intentionally do this is beyond me. Why in the world would anyone take up for such offensive, rude, crude actions from the children. If you have a medical disorder, which I would bet 99% do not have, then different. The ones you take up for are the same ones that cause the most problems for the parents. Boys will be boys? My daughter tried the belching in her younger days so it is not just boys and I, for one, will not put up with an action like this whether it is my child or not. Shameful.
It is a shame that
that known aggressive Pitbulls continue to be bred and thus aggressive ones get into the hands of irresponsible people. You made my point. Even with responsible people accidents happen, their dogs do sometimes get out. If you know your Pitbull is aggressive, having the potential to kill, in my opinion it is irresponsible to keep such a dog as accidents do happen and you cannot possibly guarantee your dog will never be in a position to cause harm or death to someone's pet or child. I know it is a hard decision to make when someone loves their dog, but we did it for the sake of others safety. It is very hard to justify how loving and gentle your dog is with you and your family after the fact. Until people become responsible and weed out ALL aggressive Pitbulls from breeding programs, which will never happen because of attitudes that "my dog will never get out and do anything bad," I agree with the banning of Pitbulls that some cities have instituted.
I think it's a shame s/m
to deprive children of the traditional Santa Claus. Heck, I still believe in Santa Claus myself. It is a spirit that lives within the hearts of old and young. Kids eventually figure out for themselves that Santa is a fantasy. We took our kids to our church's Christmas Even candlelight service and Santa came while we were at church. We opened gifts when we came home. There was no lying involved and their personalities were not warped either.
Did ya ever just wanna talk about nuthin' just to talk?
As I said before in another post, I miss everyone so much...
So, I have absolutely NOTHING to talk about. Love my new job, love that spring is on the way, and I love that my belly is absolutely filled up with pancakes my husband kindly made for me just now...even though it's lunchtime and not breakfast. I'm one of those freaks that could eat breakfast-type foods at every meal.
...and that reminds me that it's almost that time of year to order some baby chicks for next month. Laying hens, not for meat or anything, just eggs and entertainment. I can't wait for warm weather--it's been a long HARSH winter this year. In fact, I think we're due for another ice storm at the end of the week.
I hope everyone who stops by to read my note about nothing finds themselves and their families in good health. Miss you all, even the ones that can't stand seeing that "Hayseed" name up there.
Well it is a shame, but it sounds like
We've been there and done that once already with "drunken neighbors" who played music really loud when my children were young! They were nice enough I guess, but just partied all of the time and it got to the point where I couldn't take my kids outside. This was our old house. Now we are much happier, but we are not in the country.
Good luck in selling and I think it sounds like you are making the right decision! Landlords are such a joke!
That's more than a shame, if it's not true.
//
I think it's a shame when adults
cannot put their differences aside for the 2 major holidays a year.
I agree with you 100% - what a shame
that when it comes to money, families only think of how much they will get. I could care less if I get money or not as it is none of my business and would rather have my mom than her money.
Again, great advice!
Friday Night Lights and Brothers and Sisters, love them!NM
nm
It is such a shame that her fame has caused
You hear so often of stars with private gardeners, make-up artists, etc. Why not a private psychologist/psychiatrist/interventionist. Such a cute girl and so much more life to live. It sure does make you wonder if pushing your children into these types of fields is really the right thing to do. I guess every job has its ups and downs, but I still wouldn't want to see my child have such turmoil when they were seen as "starlets" for so long. I also think the media makes a big deal out of everything. I don't think her actions are good choices, but I also think every little move the poor young mother makes is under scrutinization by the public. You don't often hear about every day people dropping their kids and getting that much publicity. Just like when Michael Jackson dangled his child over the balcony for example. I have been around people that throw their children in the air and catch them. This scares me, but I never see those same people on CNN that night throwing their child in the air and being scrutinized for that action. JMO.
Oh Eunice. That's really a shame. But I must say as a frequent
sufferer of insomnia myself, also mostly due to pain issues, I would be so eleated to get 5 to 6 hours of continuous sleep. I can't recall the last time that occurred. Why not follow your physician's recommendation regarding increasing the Pamelor, and if about 1 month you are still displeased with your sleep pattern, request a trial of another medication. There are plenty of them out there. Like I mentioned, trazodone is often prescribed as the initial line of therapy, most likely because it is non-addicting. If your PCP is prescribing the sleep aid, I would mention the problem also to your physician who is treating your fibromyalgia. He or she may be more up on what helps insomniac patients who have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. If you want to discuss this further, feel free to post a message asking for my email address, as I have alot of experience and knowledge regarding sleep aids and could give you the ins and out if you so desire. Take care.
LOL. What a shame, she looks 20 years older
My husband says she looks just like Dolly Parton - and that was NOT a compliment. LOL
Great answer! and what a shame (sm)
That there are many people like that at churches. I wonder why? Maybe they like to prey on nice people and they can find people at churches who will be nice to them despite their behavior. Unfortunately it makes the truly nice people look bad when there are so many of those in the group.
How true. It is such a shame for some of these breeds to all
be put in a category of being dangerous, etc. Like I stated in my post above in reply to the Pitbull in the Halloween costume some breeders play on some of the traits of the ones they feel will be more aggressive, larger, more muscle, etc. Then they breed them with another dog they feel has that potential, and so on. A responsible breeder who is concerned only for the well being of the dog and loves the breed will breed only the ones who do not display aggression or the potential for it. I once went to the house of a friend whose dad had a Doberman for years. The dog was there that night, and to be honest I was afraid. I entered the house cautiously to find that the dog was afraid of ME. She had a squeaky toy and lay under the chair all night playing with the toy. She was a thing of beauty. I will never forget her and I learned new respect and to do some reading and research before coming reaching conclusions.
Just heard she died. Such a shame.
I really hope they catch this guy.
I never dropped a baby and shame on anyone who has.
NM
It is a shame, that the truth is misconstrued as
Unless she likes to be homeless. Or unless one of you want her to move in with YOU.
Would you sit month after month when you are getting no work? Then come on here and say, oh well, I wonder why I have no money to pay bills and now I wonder why I am getting evicted?
What is wrong with HARD WORK and FINDING A JOB when there is no money coming in?
And evictions don't happen easily. You can't just come up and evict someone. It takes a bit more than that. There is sooooo much more to this story for sure.
But you go on with your group hug if you think it will help her. I don't think it will. I think she needs to look at her life situation clearly and see what went wrong and get moving.
If she needs help she needs to seek it beyond this forum.
Well, he WAS a prophet. Shame on cruel posters.
xx
A shame this place is so catty. But that is freedom of speech for you.
People come here to be supported, but need to realize there are all kinds of opinions out there. When you place yourself on a public forum to be supported expect to be bashed. That is the way of the world unfortunately. Just learn to try to see who wants to help and who wants to hurt. All kinds of agendas here. Your instincts will tell you who is real and who are the trolls. To all who are well-meaning here and look for support,or provide constructive criticism hang in there. Just filter out the bad and take away from it what you will.
Isn't that a shame? But it's not just a recent thing. I've heard of it
//
That's great news. It's a shame that they couldn't prove it and punish him
for that horrible, horrible crime. I'm happy for the family in that they can get long-needed closure. While it will never take away the pain, but it has to give them some comfort in knowing who it was and that he is no longer walking the earth.
That poor sweet boy, may he rest in peace!
Go try it, talk, talk and listen sm
Counselors are trained to "listen" and direct you to talk (not them). I have transcribed many, many mental health reports. They do dig deep and keep it going for a very long time, very long, usually (perhaps not for you). But if you both don't tell the truth, you are wasting your money, so why not just get it all out on the table and get it over with and get on with your lives? Don't pussy foot around, get it all out and deal with it. Gosh, life is too short to put on a show, it's not a dress rehearsal, it's life. Go forward, forgive, forget and forge ahead. Don't need a degree for that!! But a little help can't hurt. Might help.
Have a talk with your son
Any discussion or decisions about your son's feelings should be done with your son. This is an ideal situation to guide him in a positive direction. First of all, you are his mother and always will be. She may be doing the parenting tasks for now, and should be respected for giving of herself, but she should not interfere in your relationship with your son. Unfortunately that happens too often in families of divorce these days.
Ask how he feels about what is being said. Ask how he responds to it...or does not not respond at all. There may come a time where he listens to the garbage, then can stand up to her and say, "Aunt _____, I appreciate everything you are doing to help me with letting me stay here. There are some people who would not do what you are doing for me. But, my mom is my mom and I love her. She is always going to be my mom and you are always going to be my aunt. I feel I am lucky to have two different mom figures in my life that I can count on to help me learn how to deal with adult problems."
This sounds really dorky and I'm sorry others were as harsh towards you. I hope you put your own feelings in check and focus on your son's feelings as those being the ones that should be focused upon. He will be coming back to you one day, and everything that happens while he is away will stay with him. How you react is going to have more of an impact than what she says/does, especially when it is negative.
I know something of what you are going through. I am raising my grandchild. My ex's family did not speak to me for 10 years, but now that I have custody of my grandchild, for my ex's sake, they have been more genuinely caring and welcoming to me than my own family. There are a lot of words from the past being swallowed by my ex-SIL. I have proven that beyond myself, my decisions first reflect the best interest of the child. Everyone, even the child, feels it and knows it to be true. From that, respect is being rebuilt.
Good luck to you and your son.
I would talk to him/her
about the symptoms you are having and any family history of illnesses - more than likely they'll do some blood tests to rule out other things first. I had 11 of 18 trigger points on the day of my first visit - you can Google trigger points and it will tell you where some of them are and base it on that - but if your doctor suggests that it is all in your head and you continue to have problems please see another doctor - thankfully my doctor was very understanding and after I kept a log for 3 months of all my symptoms he then referred me on to a rheumatologist and this doctor has been wonderful - I see him every 3 months for routine blood work and medication adjustment if needed - they don't just dope you up on a bunch of narcotics - he also tries behavioral modification along with medicine - so I'm pleased .... Again best wishes.
Definitely talk to him
Sit down with him and tell him very calmly that you feel uncomfortable with this situation and ask him why he feels the need to do this. No matter what he says, keep your cool, and do your best not to say anything to make him feel defensive. Just be very clear about your feelings and your desire for him to stop this behavior.
To be honest, I doubt very much he will change, and I don't blame you for not wanting to live with this situation. The reason I am suggesting that you talk to him about it is to make it clear to him exactly what the problem is so that if/when you seek a divorce, he cannot claim that he didn't know there was a problem.
Internet addiction, particularly internet porn addiction, is a serious problem and is not easily "cured". I'm glad the two of you don't have any children. That will make things much easier, at least when it comes to legalities. Emotionally I know it is devastating, and I am very sorry you are going through this.
Not to talk about it
I have NO problem with the "poor" being treated medically or otherwise -- what I as an "American" have a problem with are ILLEGAL immigrants coming into this country and expecting things to be handed to them on a "silver platter." I have lived in Southern California, Nevada and NOW here in Miami and let me tell you if you DON'T speak Espanol in Miami, you are SOL!!!!!
I have also worked for state and federal agencies where I have seen minorities (excluding Caucasian women) getting preferential treatment.
Granted, this country was built on people immigrating to this country, however, it has now gotten to the point where our children and grandchildren have to learn to speak Spanish as THAT has become "the language of our country" and we as citizens are having all of our rights and laws taken from us -- for example, do a search at the state laws that "passed" as of July 1 -- Virginia's being the worst by far -- as AMERICAN citizens as well, we have by CONSTITUTIONAL law, the right to defend ourselves and our property, but those rights are slipping away as well.
Why? Because "All We Like Sheep" -- we need to learn that doctors and healthcare professionals are like we are -- I had one resident whom I kidded and joked that with his handwriting, he would never make it as a doctor because his writing was too clear -- stand up people for what you believe in -- look at the laws that have been passed and take it to your representatives, and forward -- THEN maybe when the voice gets strong enough, we can be heard as MTs and make a difference
Off DE soapbox for now
Talk
To the teacher, principal, someone at school.
Well of course I have tried to talk to him (sm)
For years...talked and talked, went to counselors, read books, prayed, begged, cried. It's not like I just pretended there wasn't a problem and started talking to other men.
talk a lot,
determine where your hearts and committments are. You can get past this and have a marriage better than ever, if it is what you both determine to do. Time and effort, not to mention prayer, can heal.
I think your best bet would be just to talk with the
facilities themselves. My daughter just had a $5000 medical (ER) bill that my interim insurance chose not to cover because of an exclusion rider (started new job, did not take Cobra but a private policy). I just talked to the hospital personnel and they sent us paper work to fill out to maybe help with the bill. Also, you can set up a payment plan of only $10 a month. As long as you pay it every month, they cannot come after you with bill collectors, anything like that.
Our local news had an article on companies that will negiotiate bills and the like for you, but a lot of them charge fees and are not totally on the up and up.
All this talk below
where my husband and I stand regarding number of times per week/month... whatever. We are in our early 40s and we do at least 3 times a week and he seriously thinks it should be daily. I think he gets it more than most; maybe not.
Talk about HOT!
Man is he hot! What's not to like about him. I heard shortly after he and his wife (don't know if they were married at the time), but they were selling something called "butt art". Like finger painting but with the other end. HA HA HA.
Anyone now a days in Hollywood that will come out and admit they have a problem and get help for them I commend them, unlike policians who hide it. :-)
I just saw him on David Letterman last week. He is still looking great with all the gray. Still as hot as when he first came on the movie scene.
You need to have a talk with him, and tell him what you need.
Regardless of the risk, the choice to take it or not should be yours. Tell him that you NEED this, it's important.
I think you both need to get out and help others, and you will probably get more help out of it than they do. Can you volunteer someplace where there children, or elderly people? Homeless people? You need to stop moping around going oh dear, oh dear all the time, and go help someone who really needs help. It will definitely help your mood and make you feel better.
Do you have any friends, or good neighbors? You don't sound like you have much of a life there, other than working and listening to your husband whine.
do you talk about it?
This place is what I mean....
Sometimes I mention to people, that 'someone on the MTStars' said this or that, and they look at me like I have three heads or something!
I just seem to know lots of people who don't even KNOW what a message board is ... just wondering if it's cause I live up here in the boonies?
Please...I need someone to talk to...sm
Okay, its pity party time. I may need to get a professional's help, but I figured I'd start with you ladies first as you're my "free therapy."
I am feeling really, really guilty about not seeing my dad as much as I "should." So, here's the story. My dad is an alcoholic. He kept it from my mom and I for about 10 years. See, he left when I was in 6th grade and not in the typical "dad just up and leaves" sort of way. He got a job in another city about 5 hours away. I remember we were all really excited about it as it was a really good career move for him. Mom didn't want to move so the "agreement" was that he would come home on the weekends and see us (right). So this turned into seeing him every month, to every couple of months, to about twice a year (thanksgiving and Christmas). Him and mom are still married (don't know how she does it) but I feel such resentment toward him that it is hard for me to go see him. We only live about 15 minutes away from my parents and are in their town a lot to see my husband's family. However, I choose not to go see my father because it is awkward and weird and it stresses me out to the max.
I get to see mom about 3 times a week as we work together (both as transcriptionists) at our local hospital. I love spending time with her, but not with my dad around. I know I'm hurting his feelings when I don't see him but on his birthday, father's day, holidays, etc. He doesn't drink THAT much anymore, a beer or two a day (we think), but it still bothers the heck out of me when I see him drinking. Although it is better than mom and I trying to get him to bed while he is falling down drunk or driving away, getting a DUII, etc. I would never tell him how I feel because I love him and wouldn't hurt him like that. He isn't very healthy (hep C, high BP, neuropathy, etc) and I don't think he'll be around for that much longer. NEway..getting off track...I just need some advice and/or to hear someone else's stories about something like this. I don't know what to do and it is really getting to me. It does feel better to be able to talk to someone about it though (husband doesn't understand and talking to mom about it just makes her feel bad). Thanks ladies for all of your support!!!
I really would not talk to her or help her
in this case. Would you drive her to the bank to deposit you SHOULD have had?
Did you talk to your mom about any of this?
I would talk to her about getting a restraining order against him and possibly pressing charges for the threats and harrassment. I know this may sound extreme, but your dad sounds pretty unstable. I get the idea that maybe you don't want to be the one to turn him in, that's why I suggested you talk to your mom about doing it and go together to do it.
If I remember correctly, you're married, right? Is your husband at all willing to get involved and maybe tell your dad to stop. Maybe he could get through to your dad a little better.
For the short term with the phone calls, I would answer it the first time he calls and tell him before he even starts talking that "I'm working and I will call you when I'm finished." Then hang up and when you are done, call him. Lay out the ground rules during that callback -- i.e. talking about mom is off-limits. Be firm. If he continues to call you after you tell him you'll call him back, turn the ringer on your phone off. My phone still lights up, so I can see that someone is calling, but there's no constant ringing to interrupt. It might take a few times, but be persistent and hopefully it will work.
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