second-hand smoke

With any luck the weather will be good and the party will be held outdoors....If not, take her out to  lunch or make a special lunch/dinner at your house just for the 2 of you....perhaps get your hair and nails done together or just piddle around in the consignment shops...do something that the 2 of you enjoy.  If you've known her since Jr. High or thereabouts, she knows how you feel about smoking and I don't think she would be offended.  The 1-on-1 time together would proabably the best present she gets....and you get to catch up everything without interruption.

I know, I did it yesterday...Made chicken and dumplings from scratch and sauteed squash and a light fruit salad, watched a video slide show that my friend made on a Mac laptop of renovation of the log cabin that her mother was born in (narration, music and all).....Her daugter's wedding is coming up in 3 weeks and the young lady wants it to be at the cabin.  Then we tried on mother-of-the-bride outfits she'd brought over, we critiqued, exchanged jewelry that would match.  We talked for about 3 hours non-stop and coulda gone on for another coupla days just reminiscing and trying to work out the kinks of the wedding and chowin' down on comfort food.

Just an idea....Hope this helps. 

• I am invited to a Birthday party for a friend of mine, whom - Need some help on this one
  • Ugh! I really hope it's outdoors! - Me
  • If it were me, and I am exactly like you are regarding smoke - - misty
  • I like Cat's idea. Or make your visit short by showing up only - for the cake & gifts. nm Also a nonsmoking life he
    • ....here. Maybe the windows will be open if it's - nice out? You can always leave early. NM
  • second-hand smoke - cat
    • Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. SM - Need some help on this one
      • The smoking might have to be done outside if the laws there say - to do so. Hoping it works out for you. NM

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I can't figure out why you posted that you are thin and have always been thin.  How is that supportive a person who would like to lose weight?  I'm guess I am missing something.

Someone said consider the source.  So let's consider the source...

You don't know her and she doesn't know you.  Why would she seek you out to lie to you?

Apparently your husband does know her and was going to warn you beforehand that she might try to stir up trouble.  Why would she pick your marriage to stir up trouble in?  What bone of contention does she have with your husband?  What is his relationship with her? 

And if there is nothing to what she says as your husband suggests and that she is just trying to "stir up trouble" then why did he feel he needed to warn you? 

Sounds to me like he's covering his bases.  Personally, I think you husband has a lot of explaining to do and this advice of "keep quiet and take notes" is bunk.  Don't be the victim.  Listen to what your gut is telling you.  Something smells in your situation and I bet it's coming from hubbie.

Trust me when I say, men can look their wives in the eye and lie without batting an eye and when caught in a lie, they will practically hurt themselves trying to rationalize and justify.  Whatever is going on with your husband, you cannot deny that there are rumors out there that your husband feels he needs to squelch.  That's troublesome by itself.  Why would someone make up rumors about him?

Don't excuse him, don't treat him with kid gloves.  Confront him and find the truth.  You'll know it when you hear it.

This January we have decided will be it.  It is no longer socially acceptable.  My excuse has always been that I am afraid to gain a lot of weight. 

My brother quit after 15 years (early 30s) and he used Chantix.  He was a 3-pack a day smoker.  Let me tell you, he is so much better.  No coughing.  After 6 years of trying to have a baby and failing in vitro; they have just had a baby this November.  They both smoked/him worse.  They are now both nonsmokers for over a year, have gained weight, but have such a blessing.  He swears it was the smoking that caused the infertility.  This pregnancy was the natural way and she's beautiful/such a blessing for them.  We are all elated. 

I am especially proud of him and feel like such a wimp to continue to smoke knowing it is killing me.  It makes me feel inferior to others.  Thank God my brother is an encouraging soul and not one of those horrible ex-smokers who just won't let up or are worse than just plain nonsmokers.

To the OP:  These poster above is absolutely correct.  My brother will vouge that everything in life is better now that he is a nonsmoker (i'm assuming including the sex since they now have the baby).  He says the Chantix worked and he is by no means a pill-taker at all. 

To the OP again:  If you'd like to quit when I do in January, e-mail me, and we can support one another.  You are worth it!  You can still smoke the first week on Chantix, but then the cravings will disappear.  Believe me, I also enjoy the cigarette especially after eating but smoke a lot more when I'm stressed to the point that I wheeze.  I'm only 38 and have 2 kids.  I hate the habit, but I love the cigarettes.  See what I mean?  It's a hard habit to break, but I think together we can do it!  Whaddya say?  E-mail me! 

To the Poster Above:  Thank you for your kind comments as you've also just made me decide that quitting is the best and only option at this point.

I had an aunt that died of ovarian cancer and never smoked or drank a day in her life.  She was thin, always health conscious.  Not all cancers including lung come from smoking.  Keep that in mind as you strive to quit. 

People are made to smoke outside the store, can't smoke inside.  Smoking is not against the law.  I think people with body odor/bad breath smell way worse than people smoking. 

even in Florida - the casinos you can smoke at - at least in certain areas like the bingo.........not the dealer tables at the Seminoles but at every other casino locally in S. Florida, there is smoking allowed.....Hard Rock Resort and Casino - smoking allowed.

In Las Vegas, if there are casinos in the hotel - you will be dealing with smoke.

However, there are plenty of smokeless, casino-less places......enjoy!

from something without washing it?  I have a baby blanket my mom crocheted that is for a friend of mine who's expecting.  Like everything in my mom's house, it has a bit of a cigarette smell, and I don't think a new mother would want to use a blanket that smells of cigarettes for a new baby!  So far I've just hung it up on a hanger in the hallway at my place.  (I don't smoke.)  Any ideas?  I thought about something like "Febreze", but that might not be good for a new baby to breathe, either.........

First, thanks again to those who tried to be helpful/supportive.  Secondly, i may (!)have made a breakthrough this morning, Praise God!!  Sparing the details, after another fit of mine over trying to eat in a 'cloud', i put it to him this way:  Saying, "i've been looking into air cleaners to remove the smoke smell from the house, and they will cost from $700 to $1000.  So which is it going to be -- will you quit smoking, smoke outside the house or do we invest in these expensive air cleaners?  I just can't tolerate it like i used to."

I let him ponder awhile and asked again for the answer.  I about fell off my feet when he said he'd try harder to quit smoking and that he might start smoking outside the house, and might even consider a prescription to help...Good Golly Miss Molly!! 

Wonders truly never cease!! 

If you never let up and the pictures don't work, she will do anything in her power to hide it from you.  My mom has nagged me since the day she found out and that made me go to great lengths to keep it from her.  My brother's wife did the same thing to him and he would smoke at work and not at home.  Then, when he came to visit, he would take me to the store so he could smoke on the way there. 

I know she is only 16, but if she doesn't want to hear what you have to say about it, she'll just keep hiding it and keep smoking unless you two come to an agreement.

Good luck.  I do hope she quits.

      

When my sister had her first baby, she became overwhelmed quickly. You sound similar to how she was feeling.  So my mom and I started helping her out here and there, going over and staying with my nephew so she could leave the house for a couple hours, even if it was to grocery shop or run errands, just so she could get out alone.  Or we'd go get him and take him to our house for a couple hours, with instructions to her to TAKE A NAP or read a book, or something relaxing.  If you have family or friends willing to help out, take them up on it.  They wouldn't volunteer if they didn't want to do it.  

My sister's husband was helping out too, but he worked a lot of hours, 6 days a week.  In my sister's case, she was very independent and used to doing what she wanted when she wanted before the baby and I think that was part of what overwhelmed her, the feeling that she couldn't just pick up her purse and go somewhere as easily as before.  Good luck.  This will pass, don't be so hard on yourself.

When my sister had her first baby, she became overwhelmed quickly. You sound similar to how she was feeling.  So my mom and I started helping her out here and there, going over and staying with my nephew so she could leave the house for a couple hours, even if it was to grocery shop or run errands, just so she could get out alone.  Or we'd go get him and take him to our house for a couple hours, with instructions to her to TAKE A NAP or read a book, or something relaxing.  If you have family or friends willing to help out, take them up on it.  They wouldn't volunteer if they didn't want to do it.  

My sister's husband was helping out too, but he worked a lot of hours, 6 days a week.  In my sister's case, she was very independent and used to doing what she wanted when she wanted before the baby and I think that was part of what overwhelmed her, the feeling that she couldn't just pick up her purse and go somewhere as easily as before.  Good luck.  This will pass, don't be so hard on yourself.

When my sister had her first baby, she became overwhelmed quickly. You sound similar to how she was feeling.  So my mom and I started helping her out here and there, going over and staying with my nephew so she could leave the house for a couple hours, even if it was to grocery shop or run errands, just so she could get out alone.  Or we'd go get him and take him to our house for a couple hours, with instructions to her to TAKE A NAP or read a book, or something relaxing.  If you have family or friends willing to help out, take them up on it.  They wouldn't volunteer if they didn't want to do it.  

My sister's husband was helping out too, but he worked a lot of hours, 6 days a week.  In my sister's case, she was very independent and used to doing what she wanted when she wanted before the baby and I think that was part of what overwhelmed her, the feeling that she couldn't just pick up her purse and go somewhere as easily as before.  Good luck.  This will pass, don't be so hard on yourself.

in a kinder tone. The topic is not the concern to me, it's the tone of your posts. Thank you.

I've always felt that machine quilting was cheating...I like nana's idea of the yarn ties...that was the first one my grandma taught me how to do.  Mommy also quilted and we'd hit the quilt shows where you have to wear white gloves before touching any quilt. 

Recently went to the Museum of the American Quilter's Society in Paducah, KY (couldn't touch....it took all my willpower, believe you me).....The unique artistry and craftsmanship of each piece was breathtaking....a lot of applique and embroidery was employed as well...painting with thread and material...whoa!  My friend and I split up and studied those quilts for about 1-1/2 hours and then we asked each other "Which one would you choose to take home?"    Cat