school counselor
Posted By: lindsay on 2008-02-05
In Reply to: School counselor defensive? - momMT
That's beyond the pail for all of the people at this school. I'm really sorry you have to endure this. It sounds like you don't have the option here, but this is clearly why school vouchers are so important so parents can be "pro choice" about their kids' education. Rest assured, it all comes down to the NEA, who is drunk with power.
O'Reilly Factor had a perfect example of this on Monday's show in the "Is it Legal" segment about how ridiculous schools have gotten. You should be able to open it up on the link below.
Good luck to you. Hold on to your core beliefs and continut to "do the right thing."
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School counselor defensive?
I really need some input here. My family recently moved back to our original house because we could not sell it. The school they were zoned for before we moved back seemed okay, the children thought it was fine. We thought we would wait until the year was over before going back to the original school in our neighborhood so they would not flip flop.
My little boy who is 7 recently had problems with a reading group teacher who wanted him to be in a play. It was a big part. He is shy and I did not hear of his fear until they were into practicing. She said either do the play or get a zero. He asked if he could make up the grade. She told him to do a book report at the library (this is second grade). None of the children in the reading group were explained how to do this book report even my daughter who is in the same group told me she had to figure it our herself. My little boy did not know what to do. He was afraid to ask her again as one other time he asked for instructions she was very abrupt and did not answer him. So, I contacted his home room teacher to resolve it, as the reading teacher was not available (for personal reasons). The principal tried to arrange a meeting but again, this teacher was unavailable, and I finally received a phone call (she left a message) from her late Sunday night she was busy and could not get back to me and she would not be in for a week.
Week goes by, my little boy is okay but issue still not resolved. Top it off some kids were teasing him and told an older girl in the glass that he liked her. She sat down at lunch and told him she did not like him right to his face. Ever since, he has not been dealing with things well. He has gotten sick before school from anxiety, etc. I spoke 3 times with his home room teacher, and all she could do is say, "I'm sorry, I don't know what to do, the counselor is busy today."
On top of this, my little 8 year old girl's teacher constantly gives her tardies for being 1 minute late (I go to the office to get a pass but she refuses to call them excused). We drive 40 minutes, it has been foggy and one time I had a flat tire. My husband informed the office of this.
With all of this idiocy we decided to put the kids back in the original school here by the house and as I went into the office to let them know, the counselor of the school had to meet with me, urgently. She lit into me big time, saying I coddle my son and if I kept doing so he would be come effeminate (sp?). She also said that I am teaching my daughter to be critical of her teacher by saying there is something wrong with being 1 minute late. I said there were reasons for being 1 minute late and my husband told the teacher and the office. The counselor said, "set your watch back so that will take care of it and you will be early.",
This counselor continued to say that I was not parenting my son and daughter correctly and that she was livid that I would encourage a crush that my son was only 7 and I was not being responsible. I said I did not even know about this crush and that I thought the girl was rude even saying that to his face after he never even told her it was a rumor!
I left the office feeling horrible as she indicated I was "a bad parent," I am not kidding. My band says she just was upset because we were leaving and there were issues not resolved correcdtly by her staff.
If you got this far reading this I appreciate it. Thanks for listening. But really, is my instinct right that this "counselor" was out of line, saying my son is going to be effeminate and my daughter critical? Made me feel about 2 inches tall, but I did not let her know that. Nor will I tell the children. Feedback on this would be highly appreciated. If I could I'd give you a copay for listening. Thanks in advance.
I would call the school counselor and
let them know what is going on. They can then contact the family.
Oh, this gave me high BP!! How dare a school counselor......sm
Take it into HIS hands to pull the girl and administer any kind of test at all, he does not have the legal right. He SHOULD have quietly contacted the girl's parents, told them about the rumor, and then SHUT UP, made himself available for counseling, but leaving parenting/medical matters to the parents, where they belong. If this were my own daughter, I fear I would be so enraged by this type of arrogant, stupid, unprofessional, illegal, and disresepctul acivity that I would become a one-woman vasectomy machine, the hard way. Talk about emotional distress?? That poor young girl and her parents. I can remember my days in high school in the early-mid 70s, parents were brought in and respected. OMG, this kind of "rumor" went around every time some nasty girl had a "fight" with another girl, they would have been hiring buses to drag these girls out....truly sickening situation, I hope this young lady is okay now, and has healed emotionally from it all, and thank God it was not true at all, for her sake, poor thing!
Call the school. I had a threat like this in my high school and they cancelled school that day.
Thankfully, because the person making the threats was found with material for home made pipe bombs and quit a bit of ammunition and a shotgun. He was arrested and charged. Never allowed back in the school.
I think it would be safer to call the school and get classes cancelled for a day to investigate versus make a scene in the parking lot, especially if the student with the knife is inside with the knife.
Good luck. If nothing happens, pull your child out of school for a week. See what happens. I know that sounds horrible, but small towns is where this happens most often.
Get him to a counselor.
narcotics anonymous meeting. I have never heard of profuse sweating from marijuana withdrawal. Maybe he was on something else as well. The good thing is he's done with it, but it sounds like he may need some medicine to help him relax, but this would need to be prescribed by a physician.
counselor
You didn't mention if you're going alone or not to counseling, and I wasn't sure by what you wrote. I personally hope you go by yourself first. It may be better that way. Obviously, you'd have much more room to say how your feel, and the counselor wouldn't have the husband "boundary."
I'm glad you're working on yourself. If nothing else, hopefully you can use this as a time to get back to who you may have been prior to the marriage, or at least learn to be more independent again and ENJOY being that way. It's really nice to be able to walk down the street with your head held high and a sparkle in your eye (not to mention the swing in your hips after you lose whatever weight you're talking about).
Please keep us posted. We're all here to help you to the best of abilities...
Counselor
This counselor apparently has "issues" of her own and seems to be in the wrong job. Sounds to me that you are raising your children just fine. 
You should probably see a counselor.
It sounds like his hobbies and your way of thinking are not one in the same. He sounds sort of selfish, but there are always two sides to every story. My Dad used to say if a husband/father finds reasons to stay away from the house then he just doesn't want to be at home. He used to feel this way about the men who always volunteered to work overtime, which in my Dad's mind put another father out of work. He always felt they should hire another man rather than keep these men from their families, but then again maybe these men "just didn't want to go home". It is sad.
You shouldn't have to live this way. Of course your husband doesn't want to divorce because you'd probably get his hunting money.  He sounds selfish and you might want to look into getting your own place and see how he can figure things out.
Might want to go to a counselor
I'd say if you are constantly thinking about food, yes, you might want to seek counseling. You may not smoke or drink, but overeating is self-medicating, too. NOW is the time to get some help, when you are only 15 lbs. overweight. Don't let it get out of hand and then you have 100 lbs. to lose and can't.
God bless you and I wish you all the best with finding a good counselor.
I had a counselor once tell me that too...
and she had met with us both as well. But the psychiatrist who prescribed the stress meds for me met DH and told me that we needed to stop pointing fingers at one another (DH and I) and start enjoying life. So, I parted ways with the counselor and am going to another one after about a year of being gun-shy of counselors. The original counselor who determined there was nothing in this marriage for me or relationship with this man as she put it was not my decision. It is what she said. But after DH and me meeting with the medical doctor psychiatrist, the MD gave advise to find someone else as a counselor and get a second opinion. He suggested that a lot was I was taking life and problems too seriously and we all needed cognitive thinking help in this house, to deal with stress. He said it was situational our problems and once we started the cognitive thinking, that is learning ways to cope with hard times, we could finally enjoy the happiness life has to give. I think it would be worth your while to get a second opinion if you have doubts about leaving, as long as you are safe in your situation. If there, however, is domestic violence physical or verbal abuse, that is a totally different story, you need advise from the local domestic violence hotline which can determine if you need to get out right away. I do not know your situation and do not want to send you the wrong way. If you are safe, then I suggest going to someone else and weigh the options of counseling for couples, and other things like cognitive training. If it is unsafe, then do call 911 or domestic violence hotline and don't waste time, do leave. Remember divorce is expensive, painful, and difficult to get over. You can do it if it is the right thing to do, we all survive these things. But if the marriage is safe, perhaps it would be less expensive and less stressful for you both to consider working on finding the love you had but perhaps got lost along the way in the hard times. Good luck to you whatever you decide!
I had a counselor once tell me that too...
and she had met with us both as well. But the psychiatrist who prescribed the stress meds for me met DH and told me that we needed to stop pointing fingers at one another (DH and I) and start enjoying life. So, I parted ways with the counselor and am going to another one after about a year of being gun-shy of counselors. The original counselor who determined there was nothing in this marriage for me or relationship with this man as she put it was not my decision. It is what she said. But after DH and me meeting with the medical doctor psychiatrist, the MD gave advise to find someone else as a counselor and get a second opinion. He suggested that a lot was I was taking life and problems too seriously and we all needed cognitive thinking help in this house, to deal with stress. He said it was situational our problems and once we started the cognitive thinking, that is learning ways to cope with hard times, we could finally enjoy the happiness life has to give. I think it would be worth your while to get a second opinion if you have doubts about leaving, as long as you are safe in your situation. If there, however, is domestic violence physical or verbal abuse, that is a totally different story, you need advise from the local domestic violence hotline which can determine if you need to get out right away. I do not know your situation and do not want to send you the wrong way. If you are safe, then I suggest going to someone else and weigh the options of counseling for couples, and other things like cognitive training. If it is unsafe, then do call 911 or domestic violence hotline and don't waste time, do leave. Remember divorce is expensive, painful, and difficult to get over. You can do it if it is the right thing to do, we all survive these things. But if the marriage is safe, perhaps it would be less expensive and less stressful for you both to consider working on finding the love you had but perhaps got lost along the way in the hard times. Good luck to you whatever you decide!
Try another counselor
I really think you need to talk to someone else. Like others have pointed out, there are very few, if any, fairy-tale marriages. And it certainly isn't just about changing your hub. Your indifference is a symptom of your own feelings and you will very likely be just as depressed and indifferent after the divorce, only this time you'll be alone.
I think you need a new counselor. nm
nm
Seek out a counselor.
I would get him into counselor ASAP
bb
If you've been to a counselor who suggests
My husband and I are in counseling and she has never once suggested counseling, even in the beginning when I felt like you, just giving up, unloved, etc. I am amazed at how far we have come during our counseling and we're not done yet. We have 3 kids, ages 21, 18, and 9...they are the reason we went to counseling in the first place. Divorce is a horrible thing to do to children. For counseling to work, you both have to put your whole heart and soul into it. The counselor is there to do what you want and if you say you want to save your marriage, then that's what they are supposed to try to help you do. Please find another counselor and try again. It is worth saving...God bless...I'll be praying for you!
First, go to Alanon. Second, maybe speak to a counselor sm
about your feelings. If he truly does change, is there anything that would make the marriage worth salvaging?
Have you spoken with a counselor, therapist, or your minister?
It would probably help if you could express your feelings out loud and get some feedback from someone who is trained to deal with emotional dilemmas like you are experiencing. I would strongly encourage it, especially since you have had thoughts of suicide.
Sometimes it takes a little while to find the right "fit" in a therapist or counselor. If the first one doesn't seem to be helping, try someone else.
I had similar feelings when my son was finishing up high school and getting ready to go on to college. The so-called "empty nest syndrome," I guess. But there are a lot of components to it. It's like redefining yourself as a person, because for so long you have been meeting everyone else's needs, and now you are starting to realize that you have needs of your own.
So what you need to figure out is what fulfills you as a person. What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Literally. Five years from now, what would you like to be doing? When you figure that out, start figuring out how to make it happen.
The best of luck to you, and please feel free to email me if you like. I'm still working on some aspects of my "mid-life crisis," but I have worked through a lot of it. I would be happy to provide a sympathetic ear.
I would call the counselor out of concern for this child. nm
@
Doesn't sound very joyful. Find someone to talk to, counselor, clergy,
xx
Sounds like my kids...on a school day "we just got home from school!" on a vacation day....sm
But this is our vacation! My husband takes vacation days and leaves town without us...lol! He would never dream of taking a day off to work around the house!
How is the school's fault if Johnny comes to school armed?
And how is the school's fault if off campus people are getting jumped? Everybody wants to blame the schools, but the reason places have gone "zero tolerance" is because every parent whose kid gets popped for an illegal weapon says, "Oh, my little pookie wouldn't do that." Which is exactly what the parents of every perpetrator of school violence has said. At 15, this girl should have been aware that it was verboten and, if they felt that strongly it was necessary, kept it hidden. If she is not capable of thinking that part through, maybe she shouldn't be trusted with pepper spray anyway.
How is this kid in school with chronic infestation? School nurse
s
In our school district you can go to any school that you want
but you actually have to pay if you don't live in the District. The private schools here are outrageously priced. You could almost send your child to a community college for the amount they charge.
Job available at school.
Okay, I have been doing this for 8 years. I think I should be more productive than I am for that much experience. I only do between 1200 to 1300 lines a day. I am also just so tired of it. Today, the hospital's network is very very slow and that certainly doesn't help me and I have to make up the time while my kids are at home which is not very easy...KWIM. Again, just tired of it.
There is a job opening available at DD. elemetry school about an elementry teacher aide. It has no specific qualifications just send resume to the superintendent. Well, I looked online and it seems the basic requirements are HS diploma, good understanding of children, good physical condition. I match that. I am a mother of 2, my 5 yo was at the top of her class last year (might be a good qualification for me), I referreed fights etc., supervised dd and her friends on outings, babysat school age kids.
I am just thinking of things that might qualify me for the job. I have kept this job for 8 years, the job before that was 6 years as a nurses aide at another hospital so longevity might be a plus. I have never worked anywhere except a hospital. Well, I did work for an MTSO for a short time, 6 months.
There is a number I could call. It is voice mail. I was going to call and ask exactly what are they looking for so I would know whether or not to bother with it but I am not very good at asking for something I need. Any suggestions, comments. TIA.
School
I would be livid! Go through the principal, (complain loudly) on how embarrassed your daughter was, etc. You'll get results I'm sure. As a last resort, get a doctor's excuse.
School
I am 56 and working on my third degree. I love going to school, and I think the older I get, the more it helps keep me sharp. You might try asking a local college about scolarship opportunities. Some of them have special programs geared for women.
My take is WHY did the school let a
freshman take a senior course? Advanced or not, she probably does not have the background to be able to keep up with it. My daughter is also a freshman and took Algebra II in 8th grade, so they automatically put her in geometry. There is no way I would have let her take a physics class now.
re: school
I am a mom of two teenage boys and I do not think the school should have been the ones to punish the child since it didn't take place at the school from school computers or on school property. It is the parent's responsibility to reprimand the child when something is done by their child in the home. Since the teacher found out about it, that teacher should have called the parent and should have allowed the parent to take the appropriate action. Teachers should not under any circumstances have the authority to reprimand children at home under their parent's care. Only when something like this happens from school, on school property, from a school computer should the teacher have that authority. I used to work in a public school and there are boundaries as to how far teachers should go. The rest is up to parents!
We met at school
Best friend's boyfriend at that time and I absolutely could not stand him!
Then we ended up kind of *stuck* together when we went out with a group of friends. Somehow we just clicked and from that first night, I knew we were going to be together forever! That night while all the other couples were making out like crazy, he and I just sat on a playground slide and talked. Then at the end of the night, he kissed me on the cheek...I knew right then I was hooked. We've been married 21 years, have 3 children, and are expecting our first grandchild in August!!! Aww, whatta love story 
I don't know what everyone's school districts
are like, but I don't have any of these problems. Even at our old house that was in a little more of a low-income area, the school was okay. I noticed a huge difference in the kids and the parents over there though, but I have had no problems with my kids in public school.
They both are testing above average. My daughter is in K and has a sheet she is to work on all month and then turn in, nothing too serious. My son usually does his homework/reading on the bus or spends about 30 minutes at the most completing it when he gets home.
Maybe I am just lucky that they both excel without any pushing from me or the school or I just am in a great school district, although I know we are in the best in Texas. My son does have some anger problems sometimes and a few problems with self-control. We work on this and I think the idea about the martial arts is an excellent one. In fact, we are looking at places to enroll him out here. He is pushing to go back to gymnastics though, so we will see. Honestly, I think any extracurricular activity that is in a nurturing environment is a good idea for every kid.
Public school
I have a granddaughter in the mountains of North Carolina in the fifth grade, who has teachers from you know where.. They should not be in a school setting. One used four letter words and they were not love. They will not go out with the students at recess, so it is a free for all with three to five grades out there all at once. There is bullying and if she says anything, the teacher says she is squealing. I don't think when your knees are bleeding from being knocked down, it is squealing. The third grade was awful. They finally got her moved out of there into another class and the teacher was wonderful. That was about three months before the year was over and that was because they went to the superintendent of schools. Next year was bad and this year is the worse. The teacher tells the student she cannot believe the students are that ignorant, loses papers the students turn in and then gives them a zero. Her mother saved her papers and showed them to the teacher and she had some phony excuse, like she had so many papers to correct. Teachers are supposed to do that. The teacher also has a teacher's aide three times a week and there are only 15 students in the class. She also calls my granddaughter a liar when she says she turned her papers in. She says my granddaughter is to lazy to do the work. My granddaughter loves school, is on the honor roll and would have made the principal's list had the teacher not lost three papers that my granddaughter had turned and gave her the grade she deserved instead of giving her a zero three times. Don't say go to the school and the principal. When they go, the teacher acts so nice and after they leave, she picks on my granddaughter and tells her not to go home and tell her parents things that are not true. The principal does nothing. They have her on a list for a private school and after paying taxes, no one should have to pay to go to a private school, but that is what you have to do. I cannot believe that all the parents do not get together and descend on the principal's office. My granddaughter loves school but not this year because of the teacher. Cannot wait for the year to be over. She has been humiliated in front of her classmates and when a classmate tries to stand up for her and tell the teacher she is not talking or doing any of what the teacher says she is doing, she tells the classmates not to try to take any sides. She is a very loving, sweet, and intelligent girl and what she has to go through every day, makes my skin crawl. When school is out, I am going to write the principal, the teacher and the superintendent of schools and tell them what I think of their teachers. If they did away with tenure, maybe the teachers would take their work more seriously. I never worked for a company that told me if I stayed with them for 10 years, I could not be fired. Ridiculous. The principal does not like to report anything is wrong because in the reports they have to send to the state board of education, the more problems the school has, the less money they get, so they do not report anything is wrong. Report cards were given out Friday and the teacher wrote that she was a very good student, and a pleasure to have her in the class. Why write that when all you do is pick on her. To protect herself when things get tough. Thank you for letting me vent.
church school
Well, I didn't say the ONLY place to find teachers who care is at a church school, and I certainly don't believe that. I do think your chances of finding them in a church school are a whole lot higher, however. I didn't intend to create a religious argument either. I was genuinely interested in why you would not want your children in a church school.
Public School
My husband and I have two special needs children and homeschooling was the best thing we could have ever done for them. My oldest child is learning up a storm and my youngest child is going to start being home-schooled next year. We both work full-time and we still find time to homeschool. It does not take as much time as you would think. There is just you teaching your kids and it goes a lot faster and they learn faster. We thought we could not homeschool, but we were forced to as the public school did nothing for our son and now nothing for our other child. You can do more than you think you can if you have to. Good luck!
Many phases during school
I was gothish for a while myself. Doesn't sound she's been doing it too long if she was asking for different makeup last summer. I dressed goth even longer than I really felt like just because my parents rode my butt about it.
I used to be school room Mom
There is a game where you put items in a paper bag like combs, hair things, rubberbands, paper clips, ect. The child is blindfolded or put the bag of goodies behind the back. Let the child reach into the bag and try to guess what he pulls out without looking. Decorating cupcakes is also fun. Take cupcakes or cookies to school and let the kids be creative. Around Xmas we did gingerbread type houses out of gram crackers and icing. Let them make valentine cards for a parent/friend out of paper and allow them to glue on glitter that sort of thing. Good luck!
Another school rule...
just another reason I am glad I homeschool!
A local school district just informed the students via announcement over the PA system that "Farting" in class can now result in AEP placement! I couldn't believe it so I've questioned some of the kids that go there. All I've questioned say yes, that's what they said.
How stupi*d can you get?
New School Rules
 Not every child does this for attention. If you had read the post -- you do know how to read right? The original poster stated that her child has a medical condition! I think it is wrong to punish a child for doing something that a body does naturally especially if it is due to a medical condition! There are a lot of good teachers out there and a lot of not so good teachers. There are a lot that need to get back to teaching instead of worrying about this sort of thing. If you ignore it -- children will not do it because it did not bring about the attention they sought to get. And if it is due to a medical condition the teacher will have to deal with it! I have GERD and my stomach makes noises all day long. Are you going to come after me too?
New school rules.
My children do not do any of these things to the best of my knowledge. They do not do it at home because they were taught that it is rude, but if it happens to say excuse me which I believe is the polite thing to do. I have never heard of them doing this in school either. However, I do believe that if a child has a medical problem he/she can politely say excuse me and should not be punished. I'm not saying it is proper behavior -- just that if it happens the child can say excuse me. At my daughter's school not all of the teachers allow children to leave the classroom during class to use the bathroom. I don't agree with that either. I guess that makes me a monster.
Anyone who has just finished school
would be more apt to pass the CMT test. However, to say that would eliminate "toilet errors" is not the way I see it. Someone with a lot of years experience in this field is just as good as a CMT if not better. Passing a test and putting initials after your name means nothing when it comes to work ethic, discipline, and experience. I just think if you have 9 years of experience, you are going to be just as attractive as someone with a CMT. It seems to me companies or physicians seek well-rounded MTs that have experience in quite a few specialties as opposed to having CMT after your name. I am not so sure physicians are aware of this testing process, but the Nationals seem to have bitten on it, but I'm not so sure it gets you any more money. I've read posts where it does not gain you anything more than something else to put on the resume. If you want to become more attractive, then I'd say branch out into more specialties or may be even take a business course to expand your knowledge. CMT, in my opinion, is a waste of money especially when you have verbatim accounts and the client is always right, no matter what "the books" or for that matter AAMT has to say about the way it should be done. Just another opinion.
My Dad was from the old school of thought
He did not believe in spending a lot of money at Christmas. He always said "it is the thought that counts". He would wrap up little gifts for myself, my brothers and our spouses. One year, I got a box of Smith's cough drops and TUMS. My sister-in-law got a bar of soap. My husband got a deck of cards (used from Atlantic City). We joked about how silly this seemed, but when my Dad passed away we sure missed those cough drops, cards, TUMS, etc. I think it was his way of adding a little humor to the holiday and to show us he cared. Usually a gift is given from the heart. There will come a time when the gifts (or gifter) is no longer there to give. That is when you will truly "appreciate" those gifts.
Our school system already has a
dress code in place, no belly shirts, shorts and jeans have to be a certain length, no huge baggy jeans on boys, etc. I know for a fact this is being in enforced in most of the schools becuase not only do I transcribe, I also substitute. My niece's parents were called over shorts that were to short. My son also had to change into his gym shirt because he was wearing a (green) T-shirt from Octoberfest with a beer mug (in all white) on it. That was my fault, I stupidly did not think anything of it but would not have let him wear it had I realized what it was advertising. My kids and so many other do follow the rules. I don't think they should be penalized for the few that don't. We live in a small town so we don't have many of the same problems that bigger cities have. At the first of 3 forums the other night, the auditorium was packed and not a single person spoke in favor of this. I would like to know how this will improve our education system.
Well, as an ex-school bus driver...
Shut Up and Hold On!
A teacher at my son's school...
on the radio! Isn't that AWESOME...especially since teachers are highly underpaid...just wanted to share...
Notify the school
They have police officers in most schools to help deal with problem kids.
were you referring to the guy that's old school
nm
When is school out in your area? sm
It's Friday here for the Atlanta area. One child is eager for the last day to arrive and the other doesn't want to school to end because she'll miss seeing her friends each day.
School is out on Thursday here nm
x
School out on Friday in MS.....wish they
nm
Call the school to see what help they may be able to
asdf
ONLINE SCHOOL
Here where we live for the past two years they have had online high school. I don't know anyone who goes, but it sounds like a good alternative. When my kids (all grown up now) were in Catholic school I reduced the tuition by working there for free three days a week. Could you work something out?
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