saving self
Posted By: anon on 2007-09-15
In Reply to: I totally relate..my daughter AND my mother are driving me insane. - Stressed out Mom..
In saving yourself, you WILL be helping them by setting an example and showing the both of them how a strong woman survives.
They may never, ever realize what they are doing to you and you may be in for rough waters ahead as you try to extricte youself from this because living like this has become the norm among the 3 of you.
The nature of this beast is that you never see it coming, you always think you are doing the "right thing" until it gets to the point where you feel you can't take it anymore and then you wonder where in the world you went wrong. Then you're hit with another guilt trip.
Once you can get free and find a therapist to explain to you how THEY think this greatly helps you deal with undeserved feelings of guilt which is a fast track to depression. If you're dealing with true mental illness in them, get a pro to explain to you how their illness works in them and how it affects you in YOUR particular circumstances and then work on ways of dealing with it once you understand better what is going on. Your anger and frustration and everything else that is eating away at you will be directed toward the illness and the drugs, etc. and not them. You acquire a balanced perspective and the guilt and depression begin to subside as strength returns as you begin to see things as they truly are.
Check out those books. They will bring you much comfort and help give you courage and direction. But please seek help for yourself. You are entrenched in this more than you realize. A pro can help you out quicker than the books by focusing on YOU. I recommend both.
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I am saving some now so we have - sm
a cushion for emergencies. After all the bills are paid each month we have about $500 if my calculations is correct. I don't want to rely on that, want more if necessary. Just saving $50 a week and set aside $1000 from selling back 2 weeks on my DHs vacation pay. Have an $400 propane bill coming due around Dec. 26, and then $500 in car insurance in Feb., and just had to pay about $500 for personal property tax...due today. But I will have that $3K paid off I hope by March. I make about $800 every 2 weeks and only need $800 a month for my cc payments right now--so will use the other $800 to pay off the rest of his cards. My hardship plans are only for a year, guess I will have to renegotiate then if I don't go the debt settlement route, but it will take me like 10 years to pay it all off otherwise. Totally sucks, but I made the mess, need to clean it up. Mine was caused by too much spending, family death, family serious illness, loss of job due to taking care of family member, private school payments, just too much going out and not enough coming in. Luckily we have lots saved in 401K, but only borrowed enough to pay off his cards (shy about $2K on what we borrowed); I am to fix my mess which is $10k worse than his. But all is going okay, and my DH came thru like a trooper surprising me, he is still mad and totally lost it last week on me one night but kids intervened, and no they don't know anything, though he does make little remarks in front of them though I have told him not to. If they figure it out I will explain the evils of credit cards, we do tell them that anyway, but they will know first hand how quickly it can get away from you. We will be okay, though cash poor for five years. I am working on getting a job outside the home and am on the second step of a job now that is $28K a year from 8-4:30; so I can still do some MT--which I would do and use that money for gas and childcare. I'd miss the freedom I have now but would make about $800 more a month if I get this job and still do about $600 a month with MT, which would more than cover the gas and childcare since I only need it for about 90 mins after school. We will see how it goes.
Saving photos to CD
Does anyone know how to save digital photos (in My Pictures) to a CD? Do you need to download a program for that or is it possible just with what I've got in my computer? I need to get them off of my computer and saved. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
well he's a musician and says he's saving up for
he has bought 2 different pieces of music equipment this year. He angrily offered to pay the electric bill from his savings, even wrote a check but I couldn't take it.
Quite honestly I have never been in love with him, he loves me oldest son very much so it's hard to just tell him to leave because his own dad has never met him and barely pays child support. SO and i have a son together so it's a complicted situation. I really just wish he would hurry up and go on the road so at least I would have a chance to see how I feel without him. He also works for his mother and stays over at her house a few nights out of the week. She is in her 60s and alone and she needs a lot of help. So, by the time he gets home here he is tired from working and helping her so he just wants to veg out all the time. I guess from his POV i don't have anything else to do but clean since i'm here all the time but my god I like to have time to do things too. I have dreamed of the day I tell him to leave but I can't bear to break my children's hearts. We have an on again/off again relationship and have been back together for 2-1/2 years now and I figure it's just pointless to break it off again. But i can't bring it to myself to marry him because of all of the above. Suze Orman said it best: Love is easy. Finding somebody you LIKE is the hard part.
meant to say you would be saving other - sm
women if you testify, ignore the "not". Not reading what I typed obviously.
I hear you on the saving water, etc. sm
We also had the low water toilets in our last place, upgraded one of them to a better model because the plumbers said the standard ones were terrible and we were going to hate them, but it still had problems and not cheap!!. We're always conscious about running water around here for washing dishes, brushing teeth, etc. and would like to buy a different washer but can't afford right now, tryin' to do our part, ya know... I don't know about your low water toilets but ours were a joke, had to flush sometimes 3 or 4 times to get #2 to go down, had to have plungers beside each, which our guests had to use also. We wondered where the water-saving feature came in if you had to flush multiple times to get it to work. Was really embarrassing for us and people who stayed when they had to tell us they plugged the toilet up or couldn't get it to go down, but don't know what the solution is, maybe a different diet?? Lol, and quiz everyone who stays with you about their bowel habits and proceed with caution when using our facilities... We don't live there anymore, but maybe someone here has some suggestions on this... Don't mean to hijack your post, but am interested if someone has suggestions on brands.
Of course be mad. Tell him start saving HIS money,
x
Do you guys have any money saving tips?
BF and I want to buy a house.
Post your money saving tips
Times are tough, gas prices through the roof, food costs climbing... what are you doing to compensate? I'm lucky to live in a walkable community. I'm glad that I can work at home and not have to use so much gas, but I do use my car for errands. Since I am able to walk to the grocery store, doctor's offices, post office and friends' homes that's what I'm doing these days. Last week I used my car only once.
That's just the first big step (pun intended). How about everyone else? What are you doing (or forced to do) with rising prices?
Burn Notice, Army Wives, Closer, Saving Grace
ss
Chevy ང flex fuel - love it! Big saving on price now, used to buy Olds.
...
Haven't started shopping yet, but have started saving $$$
Don't have an awful lot yet, but both hubby and I are doing it (separate accounts) so we should have a good amount when we combine. My goal is to start shopping in September after my daughter's birthday and finish by Thanksgiving. That's my goal. I have never reached it! Maybe this year!
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