reply to Anon sm
Posted By: Anon me on 2008-01-15
In Reply to: This reply is to your reply and the people who replied to you. - Anon
I can see where you are coming from but there is a simple answer - change the channel. There is plenty out there for everyone. I get sick of the ugliness myself but it pays the bills for the stations and it amuses small minds. You have to have a bigger set of values and flip the channel, change the station, put on some nice music, read something positive, take a walk, etc. There is an old song with the lyrics, "You gotta accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and don't mess with Mister In-between." It's all out there, you don't have to pay attention to it or you will be just like "them."
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This reply is to your reply and the people who replied to you.
Probably the statement I made saying I'm wondering if this is all there is to life would be sounding like I'm depressed, but honestly I'm not. I've been married for 25 years and I'm a very optimistic person. So much my sister-in-law once told me - "can't you ever be upset about something without trying to find the good in it" LOL, and I do laugh a lot during the day. That's not to say I don't have an occasional "down" time, but in today's world who doesn't. I'm just tired of being "dumbed down" by the news and now especially with all the election coverage. Just getting tired of our news media whores not giving us the truth. That's why I feel like I'm living in a Matrix and this all is not real. I think I will follow the advise of one of the posters and turn off the news for a couple weeks and instead turn on the Food Channel and pet my cat. :-)
To ANON
Thank you.......
To another anon
OK....have a good night....
For anon...
Just for the record, I wasn't calling you names. You don't like my opinion, that's fine. I've read your previous posts though, and I don't think some of these other posters have. I was NOT calling you a weird lady, I was stating that to a 6-year-old boy you are some weird lady who is taking his daddy. You and the father were not together long enough for that child to feel any connection to you prior to the marriage, and you have shown nothing but hatred and jealousy toward the child on your weekly posts here. I would (and this is just a guess) imagine you're not all that bonding and loving with the child, so yes...he's not going to think well of you. And I still stand by my belief that a 6-year-old saying I got a slushie and you didn't isn't spiteful or in any way a malacious act. It's a 6-year-old being a 6-year-old.
I agree with anon
Just gradually let the friendship drop. When she wants to see you, tell her you're not available. If she calls to cry on your shoulder, listen for a couple of minutes and then tell her you need to get off the phone. She isn't going to change, so you have to.
BTW, someone below mentioned a friend using the fact that she is bipolar to excuse this kind of behavior. I am bipolar, and while there may be some things I don't handle as well as I would like, I have a steady job, I have been married to the same man for many years, I have a son in college, and my bills are always paid on time. But then, I always take my meds. I may not like the side effects, but I want as "normal" a life as I can have.
Anon - please get help today -
I really don't want to be an alarmist, however, we all read the news and every day there's a report of wife who disappears (or is killed by her husband.) If (and this is a big IF) he is getting worse and IF you feel threatened by his behavior - get help! Look in the white pages for social services and find a woman's help group. Only you can tell if he's getting angry and if you're frightened. If I were frightened in any way by my husband or his behavior I'd be out of there! We cannot give you any other advice than to seek advice in your community before it's too late. Again, to reiterate and make my point, it really sounds like he's into porn. There's many types of porn from the mild Playboy type to the really ugly violent porn! I hear that it becomes addicting to some people and, if that is the case here, I would seek help immediately!
So, Anon, be your own Best Friend...
and do what you know you need to do. We've all given you good advice here. There is free legal aid and counseling available all over the country, big towns and small. Act in your own best interests. Pretend that your best friend is being abused in this manner and look up the info for "her". For some reason you are reticent to do this. Are you afraid you cannot make it on your own? Are you afraid that he'll come after you? Do you think that the marriage can be saved? Do what Ann Landers always says "think about whether your life would be better or worse without him in it". If you think that it would be better without him in it then you need to make a decision to get the help you need. Don't tell him what you're thinking about doing. Don't let him find out you're making copies of necessary paperwork. This is about YOU and YOUR needs (necessities really). BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND! (Sorry about yelling - just trying to get through to you!)
Do you have kids anon?
I agree spanking should be kept to a minimum, but sometimes with younger kids it is necessary imo. When my oldest was 3 or 4 I had my cart full of groceries and my hands full and told him to stay right by my side and hold onto the cart when we cross the parking lot. He ran right out into traffic! I spanked him right there in the parking lot because I wanted him to remember to NEVER do that again. I also talked with him about once we were in the car, but some situations call for spanking imo.
Some parents never spank their kids, and good for them, but if a parent wants to smack a kid on the butt sometimes that is their business. I don't like spanking too much though because it does send a message of violence and fear, but sometimes fear is the only thing that gets through their thick skulls! I think you should give a warning first normally and not hit out of your own need to vent, but to get a message across to the child. Plus, some kids are such spoiled brats that their parents should spank. Overindulgence is also a form of abuse and will only harm the child in the longrun. So I do have mixed feelings on it, but I don't think it's fair to say that parents should never spank their kids.
I agree with anon
He seems to just be content and getting too comfy, maybe mix it up a bit. Make sure you have eye contact with him when you are speaking to him. My hubby's personality is also kind of bully-ish and tends to come across that way, especially when he is grumpy after working all day, just like I am. I tend to take care of the house, 4 kids, the animals, etc. and work full time, so I am grumpy as well. I make sure that we get a hug in and an "I love you" daily and that seems to help. The more I have taken to doing this, the more relaxed things are in the house. Try to get an hour alone every week for just the two of you. My hubby and I make sure we get 15 minutes to talk about our day every day. Try not to take offense of what he is doing, just try something different. It sounds like your in a rut.
I did it - anon from yesterday (sm)
It's all reported and official. Now I don't feel so alone. I don't want to get into a big discussion on here in case he is checking to see if I posted anything...but it's all documented by the right people and they have my back. Starting my kids in counselling there as well. I feel my backbone growing back :-) If you have replies please reply to the orginal post below...don't want it to be right up top again, just in case. Thanks for all the words of wisdom and encouragement yesterday.
i care anon,
and i am sure many others do to, but don't know how to help. i never read your previous post below until now. difficult times cause us to grow personally and adds to our character. nothing was ever gained (or made easier) by giving up. you have to hang in there. i really don't have much to offer either, except to suggest that you go the emergency room for treatment. Worry about the cost later. there are so many sources of help available, social services, etc, pantries, shelters, help phone lines. Your true source of help is God above. Learn about him, pray, devote your life to him. call a minister. I would suggest to speak to someone at the church of Christ; ask for spiritual counseling. There are many who would love the opportunity to help. i wish you the best.
I care too, anon!
Please contact me by e-mail if you just need someone to talk to....or someone to listen to you. My heart goes out to you. We are all very concerned about you and care very much, but the anonymity of this board is frustrating. We can't reach out and hug you like we would like to! Please know that we do still care and think about you often!
Thank you for responding, sm and anon...
I didn't know about not having to pay those fees. This time I really did some homework as far as the dealer's list price versus MRSP, etc. The confidence thing needs work, though. My last 3 cars lasted 10 years, so I don't get a lot of practice with this.
Yes, like I said, by all means go to Al-Anon. sm
You work the Al-Anon program for yourself and not for the alcoholic. You'll be more than glad you did. Not to necessarily save your marriage, but to save YOURSELF.
Anon poster, do you have any idea...
HOW HILARIOUS THAT WAS?! Oh my god! That post is truly a hidden jewel and I hope others read it!
I'd prefer to stay mainly anon except to say
I recently relocated to Texas (I have a few co-workers/friends that visit these boards and I really don't want them to know about my daughter's situation, it's rather embarassing to me).
I'm very angered with the school system. Not just this situation but also the special ed stuff going on with my son. The district my kids are in seems too busy to really want to deal with the parent. That's why I know if I marched down there tomorrow about my daughter's punishment, I'd get nowhere but have a headache. It's just not worth it to me right now, as I'm so very busy and with the holidays, it all stinks, ya know.
Thanks for listening.
Hey anon - I posted above but will just say a line here
Not calling Animal Control because they really are not cruel to their dog. Actually I think the dog should say and Animal Control should take them away. HA HA. Dogs not tied up and every once in awhile (every other day) it gets loose and they go running down the road yelling after it. Why they even have a dog I don't understand. Anyway...they are not cruel to it, they feed it, pay attention to it and it goes in their house at night to sleep. They are just fools that don't have any consideration for their neighbors and giving their neigbors some peace and quiet, but thanks for your post. Bout a year ago at a different location we had to call animal control. Neighbors at another place took off for 2 weeks and left their dog alone. We had to have PD come to see if something didn't happen to them inside the house. Come to find out those flaming imbilci!es went on a vacation and didn't make any arrangements for their dog. They had a freind look in but the friend showed up twice in two weeks. We offered them free pet sitting if they were planning to go away again.
Anon said 'stupider' is NOT EVEN a word.
IT IS A WORD, BOTH can be used!
Can't you even read, go back and read her post!
Well, I am European and I use British English, where English originated.
There are a lot of people who say that American English is not even English!
Glad to burst your bubble!
You are the stupidest!
True Anon, but Christ is being removed out of everything and that isn't right either.
t
Calling AA will do you no good. You need to call Al-Anon.
nm
Attention: Anon....website for stepmoms
Anon,
I read your post about your stepson. I just wanted to let you know that I belong to a wonderful website that allows stepmoms to talk about their issues, give advice, share positives thoughts, vent, etc. I have learned a lot from the wonderful ladies on there. Here is the website if your are interested.
www.stepsforstepmothers.com
thank you, anon. And this, Philly, is why your posts are inappropriate.
nm
Nobody loves you when you're down - anon from a few days ago (sm)
So after telling my story and getting some really nice encouragement from some people and getting bashed by others, and having friends and church leaders encourage me to report all that was going on in my home, I have the sinking feeling that once I did what I was told to do it was like, "good luck with that." I can't get any guarantees or promises from anyone I have talked to yet. I am worse off than I was before and scared to death.
To anon..She was trying to explain to the rest of us in simple terms...sm
how mares foal, bkz most of us don't have the opportunity to see that. You don't even know how many horses and other animals Hayseed has and cares for every day!
I suggest you apologize immediately.  Cat
Are you the Anon who was worried abt possibly violence or hubby taking your kids? m
Best of luck to you for taking the steps to change your life. I wish you well.
reply
When my children were teenagers they did not drive at all. Even tho I worked full time, I took then where they needed to go & picked up to return home. Explained to them that if I could not take then, they did not need to go. This included the prom....No discussion, no argument. They understood that I am their parent, not a friend & besides, I was not going to pay insurance for teenagers. My youngest twins graduated in 1986 and after their freshman year in college (no car) I had them take defensive driving. They purchased their own vehicles. The year they graduated high school, several schools in the surrounding communities lost, if I remember, around 10-12 teenagers in car accidents......The twins I am referring to are now 36 years old.
Thanks for your reply.........sm
I understand what you are saying and I was not physically forced, no. But I failed to mention that while I was telling her I was really not comfortable with what she was going to do she sort of got angry and said, "just let me do what I do"! At that point I thought, well I must be completely wrong, after all she is supposed to be the expert, no? I am not yet gray and my natural hair is dishwater drab blonde which is why I do only highlights and not color as I mentioned. And this has never been damaging to my hair. But when I do go gray, I may keep it natural as well ;)
Thanks for reply
Please keep me updated on how things are going for you.
Reply
OK--number one, since no one knows me, you don't know that I am interfering, or will ever interfere, just came here to "vent," since this board is anonymous. Have been nothing but supportive of my daughter and kept my feelings about the ex to myself--never say anything critical to my granddaughter. Number two, Emily DID get an Easter basket from her mother--just not a huge one crammed with candy, toys, and unnecessary cr**. My former son-in-law needs to pay his back child support before he buys this type of thing. Number three, my GD's father is the one who has always spoiled her, and my daughter has HAD to be the disciplinarian and "heavy." Finally, for those who said to be more conscientious with dental care, my daughter, who is self-employed, had to beg him to carry dental insurance with his company after Emily was born--he said it was "unnecessary," since he has false teeth and would never benefit from it personally. This is the kind of father he was/is.
Thank you to all who offered kind advice and sympathy.
Thank you for your reply!! sm
I am with you - I guess not many people here scrapbook. It is my passion - and the only thing I splurge on.
I have not tried any of the programs because I usually like to do my own thing, but I have seen some that looked kind of interesting at Target and Wal-Mart. I can't remember the brand. I have been tempted to try one just to see what they had to offer and maybe some more ideas. Thanks for the website - I'm going to check it out.
Thank you for your reply. NM
NM
To which I have to reply...
nm
Thanks for your reply. I could not
agree more. The problem here was not, and I emphasize was not socialization. I know this dog, I know the history and I know the people. Any Rescue group thoroughly checks UT homes before placement. These people in her former placements simply did not know what to do for her after giving all the love they had. It took a long time, and it has been recommended when a dog has this amount of fear to actually lie down on the floor face down so the dog does not fell threatened, let it slowly come closer to you. My friend cried herself to sleep and many days over frustration. She is the one who did not give up.Unfortunately, as you pointed out, money is the bottom line mass breed these poor animals and have them packed in filthy cages with wire bottoms for profit. It sickens me.
Reply
What you need to do is take the ink cartridge out of the printer and very carefully shake it gently so the ink is spread evenly. The reason it is not printing uniformly means it is getting low on ink.
thanks for your reply (please see msg)
I hope you don't mind, but I just pasted your answer and sent it to my husband - he is staying the last two nights of the campout and will get my email that is printed out by the staff at the camp facility. I also know that the leaders read the emails before distributing them and I thought your answer was awesome! I want my son to enjoy scouting, not be miserable. If he is going to be miserable, I would rather he not do it at all. I am a Brownie leader for my daughter and have a full-time job so I don't feel I can dedicate a lot of time to Boy Scouts as well but I think I am going to tell my husband and the other leaders that if things do not change, and my husband insists on making my son go to the campouts, I will be going as well.
Thanks for your reply--
-- if you can't understand why I'd be offended by his comment, then I cannot explain that to you. You may be right, he probably knows he would not be my first choice for my daughter and no one is really--she and my granddaughter been hurt enough--I want to tell him (and may yet) that I would die for those girls and I hope he would as well. But he makes them happy, I can accept it.
I second the reply that
was posted in response when this was on the main board . . . the Bisquick recipe is great, although not truly made from scratch
Reply to Moo
Well, Tooki has a "tude" and " I want it now or ELSE I will be a brat bird -- hence the "Paris name"
thanks for your reply
I'm 55 and have the same symptoms you had... glad to hear it was successful...
ok, thanks for your reply
he did clearly say 'met,' he was very easy to understand. maybe his tongue slipped and he meant to say meal or something else.
Reply
I understand that it is a poor state. It also has no state income tax. I've done as much research as possible for discovery, but I certainly appreciate any and all input. I'm told it's very beautiful. He wanted to go where he could do cross-country skiing, etc.
While all divorces are different, if I mentioned his last name it would stand out big-time. He comes from money, but has never been materialistic (but I was fortunate to have the same situation).. I know he's a saver big-time, so that's my aim. His mother bought a house for him for $130K, which he admitted. It's not revenge, either. I wish him the best. Like Donald Trump says, "It's nothing personal, it's just business." Oh, survival, too!
The irony is that both our families are just about identical. My brother is paying for my $300 per hour lawyer. Full disclosure here...
Thanks for taking time to provide your 2 cents, when you could have been making huge bucks from the Q!
Reply
We have tried the kindness thing as well this did not work. The situation at school, at least with my child, was a threat on a child's life and not being sent home right away as well as some other threats about having to eat bread and water due to low $$ in account. It is has to stop. Our children should not have to go to school in fear. They also should not have to worry about eating!! The last one is a real biiggie as several mothers have reported this. THanks all
Excellent reply!
Happy Hanukkah by the way!
Does it start today or tomorrow? I have two calendars that conflict each other.
thanks for reply, but no, not using headphones now.
in fact, i did test the speakers on my 'job' computer and they do work. but i cannot hear sound on a video my daughter sent on my personal machine...so am not sure if i have some settings messed up or if my sound card is gone...or if possibly it is just that video. but i thought i remembered before hearing sounds when you go in and out of e/mail and web pages etc...?? don't want to test for this other job and then find out i have no sound...
Thank you so much for you reply. That sounds
x-
Thank you for the reply and the tips.
Been thinking of going the natural route myself. There sure do not seem to be any good diagnosticians around today like there were years ago. Nowadays, most put the symptoms into the computer and see what comes up. Well, I can do that too!
I've been reading up on the many diseases and syndromes that affect multiple body systems that often go undiagnosed or are treated separately for years, probably partly because everybody is a *specialist* these days.
But the last two I saw actually called each other, so HEY maybe they're finally onto something! lol
Gotta have a sense of humor or it'll make you insane.
Sorry to hear of your problems. And I'm glad you are doing better!
Thanks for the reply..I actually put a "V" on my calander for her. sm
She was actually mortified that I was "signaling" to everyone what was coming, but no one else has noticed it but us. Anyway, I figured with three girls, plus me I needed to start doing that to keep track of everybody later on when they have all started. My husband thinks we should by some stock in Tampax! LOL. Thanks again for your reply.
Standard reply, it seems, but...
I would take her to the vet. When my cat stopped using the litter box, it was because she had cystitis and associated the pain from the infection with the litter box. It might just be because your cat has been outside, but better safe than sorry.
I don't usually reply to things like this, but I have to
with you that even with you he'd do the same? He's not a nice man or he would have told you from the start he was married. He sounds like scam artist, and if I were you, I'd get away from this weirdo..... 
Not one reply as of 5 pm has made(sm)
mention that Sadgirl has a child.
Why is that not a huge factor/motivator in these replies?
I wasn't going to reply to this but
the more I thought about it the more it infuriates me. What child deserves to be hit? Should I hit someone just because they aren't behaving? What about when I'm out shopping and I encounter a rude person who is cutting in line/grabbing at things, etc, should I hit them? How about if someone cuts me off driving should I run them over and "switch" them? We are the adults here and children DO NOT deserve to be hit for any reason. There is always another way to deal with their behavoir. But then again, I guess as long as you don't leave welts its fine right....despicable
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