question about rude comments regarding child with dyslexia. sm
Posted By: LMT on 2007-07-31
In Reply to:
my 11-yo DD was spending the night with her friend. she has dyslexia and has ever since diagnosed in 2nd grade. she struggles quite a bit in school. this year she didn't pass the 5th grade because she didn't pass her TAKS test in math (state required to be promoted). i picked her up today from the friend's house and she says so and so's dad told her she was "lazy" because she didn't pass the TAKS test. of course, his daughter is a straight A student without help and is an only child. i am furious at this!! am i wrong to feel furious and how to i address to him that he needs to be cautious as to how he words things and says things to little kids with disabilities? it is enough that they get ridicled and belittled by their fellow students, much less their parents!! i know this will only be the beginning of what she will have to endure as school starts back. i wanted to march right over there and give him a piece of my mind immediately, but thought i would calm down first and see what great ideas you bright ladies have to share so i don't regret blowing off my steam in the wrong way. HELP! never had a child held back before so i know it will be a challenge to get through this for her. 
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you may not be bitter, angry, or uptight, but you are RUDE rude rude!
You talk about being attacked when you are the one calling names... yes someone called you Doctor to start with, which was pretty childish, but they were saying so because you acted so matter-of-factly about diagnosing someone saying they were just having vivid dreams, and then going off on a tangent about their Xanax use...
Xanax affects EVERYONE differently so just because your husband is a certain way does not mean that is the same for this person. I take Xanax to fly... guess what it is a LIFE SAVER! I never take it to sleep nor do I ever take it for anything else...
maybe you are being rude because you are reacting, but my guess is you will have a response to me pointing this out... and it might be rude. just a guess.
dyslexia
Lots of famous people have dyslexia and you can work around it. My stepdaughter can read now, but it was work, work, work. Sometimes these kids are better with math and that is a good place to sneak in some reading practice.
keyboard dyslexia?
This is driving me insane!! For the past month or so, I've been having a horrible time with transposing my letters when I type them out so many of my words are jumbled. It's kind of annoying!! I go through this from time to time and then suddenly, I'm back to typing normal. Does this ever happen to you?
Rude people deserve a rude response-but an idea (sm)
I am very kind-hearted, and even a sucker at times but when someone is very rude and disgusting, I have no problem telling them to go away. If she doesn't want to completely cut this woman out of her life, she needs to say something like, "I have decided that I am only going to be able to have you come over on Wednesdays." She can make up an excuse like, "I am not getting enough time to myself" "I haven't had time for my other friends" or just act like she feels like she desperately needs a regular schedule, so "Wednesday is your day." See ya next week! If she shows up on a day that is not her day she can say, "Suzie Q, your day is Wednsday - I'm sorry, but I am really determined to stick to my schedule"
sad we have to battle the school system that we pay for, but has she been tested for dyslexia? sm
sounds like a repeat of my daughter who is now in 5th grade and it has been a battle every since. in fact, i posted message on here few months ago regarding her. she also has dyslexia, which is quite common and sounds like your daughter may have too. we had it in our family so i knew she had it given her symptoms. school says they can't test til 3rd grade. hello, who can catch up when they are that far behind? i fought it enough i finally got someone to say, we can test earlier if the parents' request it. so they did and it has helped her tremendously til we moved this year and now she gets a "video" dyslexia class that sux and doesn't help. i am not sure how to continue battling it from this point. at her prior school though she went from failing to A's and B's with dyslexia help and extra time on assignments, verbal reading, etc. with her IEP.
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
other comments
Your comments are appreciated.
I second those comments!
It is like parents with the loudest, rudest kids think the entire world should put up with them. The parents seem tuned out. How nice for them! The rest of us have to be subjected to their screaming, whining, running around tables, kicking the back of the booth, and even pulling of our hair. If you dare say anything the parents look at you as if you are the devil himself. Bring on the animals any day of the week!
Thanks everyone for your comments (sm)
I am taking your suggestions to heart...he has a way of making me feel like everything is always my fault..I am going to call an abuse hotline as well as AA and just talk to them and see what they think. Thanks again so much.
In appropriate comments from
Taking a poll here...how many say something to their MIL if inappropriate comments are made and how many just let it role off their back no matter how hurtful the comments are? and I don't mean the first time a comment is made, I'm talking about repeated, obvious, and sometimes in front of other people putting you on the spot. and I'm talking about a MIL that lives close and cannot be avoided.
Thank you everyone for your comments sm
It helps a lot to be reminded that I am doing the right thing. I think my tendency is to just want to fix everything but this time I can't.
Looking for inappropriate comments? I don't think so! (sm)
Okay......and thanks for your input. I am the OP and I just want for you to know that I think that your comment was a little on the ignorant side. "I am not soooo appalled." I was a little shocked that he cared so much to go out of his way to make sure I found the right size bra. (He walked away from his job to come over to the checkout counter that I was at and felt the need to ask that, even though I was being checked out by a female clerk that was fully capable of making sure that I found what I needed?) Even the female clerk looked at him and said "What are you talking about?" I told her about the bra I returned to his service desk an hour earlier and she said "He is weird. That is none of his business!"
For the record, I receive male attention frequently and I am not easily offended or overly prudish when comments are made to me. This on the other hand was a bit strange.
My intentions were to ask others if they would consider this question to be inappropriate or not if they had been asked the same question under the same circumstances. I am not playing 'poor victim' here as I consider this a minor incident (yet still inappropriate).
In my opinion, it sounds to me like you don't get many comments offered to you and perhaps you would welcome them if you did? (That's what I get from your comment anyways!)
Exactly, Hayseed. Just look at the comments
on here. I feel sorry for her. People go through things like this all the time in life and do some of the things she has done, but they don't have to read about it in the paper the next morning. I think she needs some help and her family really needs to step in. I read an article that the guy she was seeing last said she would curl into a ball after they had s** and would say, why can't they just leave me alone. It's really sad. I don't think she is a bad person, but that she needs help. She's obviously crying out for help and is going through a lot right now. Everyone on here that has been divorced, just imagine everything about your divorce being front page...it's already painful enough without all that. People are cut throat.
You got me!! Even with the comments below, I didnt get it.
x
Thanks all for the nice comments. Yes
Hayseed, he is a boxer. His name is Dempsey. He is the only thing keeping me sane lately LOL.
smart comments
Me, too. Makes me want to jump in and blast them back! No reason for it.
HA HA HA - loved your comments
Perfect...lmao here....I'm going to cut you off, I hope you believe that. HA HA HA....too funny. I can tell you've got a great sense of humor and also a wonderful outlook on life.
Think I was too harsh in my comments to you sm
I apologize, I am very raw right now from undeserved treatment by DIL so when I saw your posting title, it bothered me. I love my grandkids so much that I would welcome a list of "rules" if one were presented to me. It's too bad she uses the Bible, I have had this done to me more than once by those who misunderstand the good book and use it as a weapon. I certainly would have a heart-to-heart with her, don't lose your temper, and let it be known that interpretation of the Bible is a very private affair and she should never mention demons, bring a Bible to your home, etc., etc. Give her the option of playing by your rules and an option of her only playing children's games, watching a movie, etc., and keeping her opinions to herself. Give her supervised visiting priviliges and then you're off the hook if she doesn't accept. If she persists, then she truly is in need of psychological help which is not up to you to provide. Give her the choice and if she chooses to keep it up, then you'll have no recourse, little kids don't need this. At least you tried, it's her choice to not adhere to your rules, unfortunately, she's missing out on a lot, I wish she could see how lucky she is to be "talked to" and given options. Good luck with it. Hate the sin and not the sinner. I once had to lay down the law with my sister and the Bible. I have made it clear that I won't tolerate Bible talk, she can come any time but the conversation has to be light, not inappropriate, not religious and no politics. It has worked pretty well, once in awhile she has a slip and has to be reminded but we are talking - no religion, no end-of-the world,no Jesus talk, it takes reinforcing every once in awhile. Good luck with it all, it's stressful.
Not sure how to take your comments at this point but (sm)
I don't think I am amazing in any way. I think I had no other choice than to leave and I will probably live the rest of my life on a wing and a prayer.
I didn't see your comments before sm
but it is a subject that has been driving me nuts for several years. I am trying to figure out what happened to decency!
i have already addressed this. they blow those comments off
this was a TEACHER.
I guess I could have stated my comments
a little more detail. Both MIL and DIL like to cook. We always have a wonderful Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner. I guess I was just raised in a family that we had family traveling in to visit, we would do just a little extra. BTW, we actucally have a joint Pizza Hut and KFC restaurant. We call it the Cluck and Hut. That is why I suggested KFC. Doesn't matter now, I got butchered at the beauty shop last night and have been crying ever since. I am not leaving the house for at least 2 weeks.
Where are the nasty comments. just some very strong
opinions that happen to not agree with your opinion. I thought we were all just discussing. So what if someone doesn't agree with my opinion, that's fine. We are all entitled to our opinion and we just have to agree to disagree. Please don't take this so personally. I don't think any of it was aimed at you. 
He has made a lot of comments about my weight (sm)
so I have been to self-conscious to be with him. But if he is using my undies doesn't that mean he wants me? Or not? I'm confused.
Any comments from DWTS fans?
I missed a bit of yesterday's Dancing with the Stars finale show, but looks like Helio and Julianne overall had the strongest performance.
What happened to Mel and Maks' freestyle? They were like kinda deflated or something.
IMO, Marie and Jonathan usually come up with pleasant surprises, but last night's freestyle was a real puzzler - I am not sure why Jonathan would agree to choreograph such a cutesy (yawn) routine when the competition is so fast and fierce. Marie was a bit too vocal with the judges...after all, they are the "experts."
I can't even deal with these comments. Thx for your concern.
:
I'm giving up negative comments
I'm going to let only positive comments pass my lips, otherwise I will stay quiet. Believe me, the Lord knows what a sacrifice this will be for me.
Her web site asks for comments so
I left her some, none probably she would have liked, but what I and others just like me are thinking. I said, no job, no income, 6 other kids, no real housing of your own, food stamps, why bring 8 more into this world. What were you thinking?
I like Navy. I have had nice comments when I wear it. nm
nm
I'm originally from NJ, and I've endured a lot of comments.
If one more person asks me, "Which exit?" I might run him/her over!
And yes, when I was growing up, it was indeed the Garden State. I grew up running through tomato fields and along corn rows. It was wonderful!
I read all the comments and I agree with the poster who wrote
'One has to teach people how to treat you' and one has to tell people what is imoportant to oneself.
It is inexcusable not to call or meet one's mother for mother's day and Christmas, etc.....
Truly don't mean to be rude, but... sm
You called him a sociopath, then asked "doesn't he have any remorse or guilt?" Well, no, not if he's a sociopath. (Which I also think he is, BTW.)
That's a big part of what makes someone a sociopath/physiopath (aka antisocial personality disorder) - not having a conscience or the ability to empathize about the feelings of others, among other things. There are, (unfortunately) a lot of people in our society who are sociopaths, to some degree or other. It's pretty scary.
He's a sickening man. I've always wondered what it must be like for his two kids, being raised by the father who murdered your mother. It always seemed insane to me that he was given custody of them.
Because they are rude.
x
How rude!
So what if you misread . . . I thought the recipe you shared sounded really good, and easy to boot! I personally would probably "cook a chicken breast" rather than using canned, but then I always change recipes to suit my taste (doesn't mean I wouldn't eat the canned chicken). Anyway, I thank you for sharing.
rude
If it was me I would have stopped and said what did you say. I am sure they probably would have shut up. Then i would have asked where do you live, so I can talk to your parents. LOL! You people are telling her to consider the source but come on if it was you walking you would have been ticked off!
please don't be rude
I'm a physical therapy graduate (party working as an MT) and my wife's a nurse. These are just our initial income since we're just starting. I'm working on my state board as Physical Therapist. I would not think that you're just rude to me.
No. I think it is rude.
nm
I think it's rude...if they ask okay, if not no way!!!
nm
You are so rude....That's all I can say to you. nm
.
Once again you are rude
I don't understand why you don't think your replies are rude. She was replying to Ms. Done with what she has been through. I don't find that her case is all that different. I was reading all the posts below and actually got lost so I'll post here. I'll tell you what I have learned. When you are growing up and your parents are miserable together that is what children think a relationship is supposed to be like because they don't know any better. They think its okay to insult and belittle their spouse, they think its okay to fight all the time. It's not. I wrote in my post and I'll write it again. Children are a lot stronger than we believe. The children always come first before anything, but when you are in an abusive relationship you cannot honestly say to a person "hey, so what if your being abused the bruises are not visible, stay in, keep letting him treat you like this, because there is not a visible injury the kids don't care". You know what. The kids DO care. Kids want their parents to be happy. When the parents are happy they have so much more to give to the kids instead of having to hide the misery they are going through. Sure sometimes its hard in the beginning but kids are genuinely more happy when their parents are happy. And they will in turn learn to treat their spouses with respect. Of course someone should try counseling before just up and leaving, but if you have a spouse that writes you letters pointing out your errors and flaws and then feels they have done nothing wrong that is not healthy. If that spouse will not agree to counseling then there are another alternative and that is to leave. Do not stay in an abusive relationship and keep being abused by a spouse because you have to stay there for your kids. That was what people did in the 60s and 70s and probably before then. This is the year 2008. There are better ways to live.
would it be rude?
to just tell your family members you are making a christmas dinner and invite everyone over, no presents allowed? We just bought a house and are not in the best financial situation at the moment. I have tried hinting around at doing things like dirty santa or drawing names but no one likes that idea. So I want to scrap presents all together. I am working on Christmas day so that would be a good excuse not to visit anyone that day. We are also in a central location and that would make it easier to have everyone over to our house. What do you think?
How Rude!!!!
Good for you! The fact that she told you to "hold on" while she finished texting would have sent me right over the edge! Congrats to you for teaching her a lesson her parents obviously don't care to teach. I have 2 teenage girls and we have made that rule quite clear that they will lose ALL privileges if they even think of texting while driving or talking while driving. The phone must be turned off when they drive and we have "tested" them on it many times just to make sure they are following the rules.
How rude !
Why bother posting something so rude? Why not just ignore this thread and be on your way?
I am in no way trying to be rude,,,,,,but
what does your post have to do with this thread? I personally wanted to adopt children until I met my now husband and realzed that if I could give birth that is what I wanted to do. Feeling selfish, my brother would love to have a child but his wife does not. It is a very personal choice, and I honestly think when the time is ready you will know. If you don't feel it, don't do it. It is so okay to not want to have children. You are not doing anything wrong. I wish there were more people out there that don't want children and accidentally have them would have used protection. Do it only when you know in your heart that you are ready. Trust me, you will know when you are ready.
who is rude
Negative thoughts you are giving right back, you are no good obviously.
I didn't start it but I can always finish it, so get over yourself like you are the only one to have an opinion. people like you make me SICK
you just hate for no reason hate hate hate
you should be so proud!
They are not being rude!
You said " I think it's pretty rude of smokers to smoke inside when youre sharing with a nonsmoker anyway."
I think its really, really rude to move into a house where there are smokers and just expect them to stop smoking in the house. Because YOU don't like it. Well, maybe they don't want to leave their comfort zone, drop what they're doing and go out into whatever weather and deal with the bugs, etc. just so YOU can be all comfortable instead. Ever consider that?
And what's next - you inform them they can't eat meat in the house because YOU are a vegan, or some other fool thing?
There are few enough places left that smokers can do their thing in comfort. But you can bet every time they find one, sooner or later a nonsmoker will barge into that place and think they are entitled to punish and banish them for smoking. Save everyone some grief and wait until you find a nonsmoking house to live in!
YOU are rude
and actually they ARE desperate
did you even READ MY POST?
i NEVER ASKED THEM TO SMOKE OUTSIDE.
get it again?
I NEVER ASKED THEM TO SMOKE OUTSIDE.
They offered. I ASKED YOU PEOPLE IF IT WAS RUDE IF I ASKED THEM TO! EVEN AFTER THEY OFFERED.
what dont you get about that! and i said if they invite a nonsmoker to live with them, then i think it is rude. and by the way, they like me very much.
you talk about me getting over myself? you have no idea of the situation! MY QUESTION WAS HOW DO I GET THE SMOKE SMELL OUT OF MY ROOM, MY CLOTHES!
and i got jumped on for expecting them to smoke outside.
TELL ME WHERE I STATED "I EXPECT THEM TO SMOKE OUTSIDE NOW THAT I LIVE HERE".
YOU need to get over YOUrself you are obviously trying to be better than everyone and cut me down for something i never even did.
Not exactly sure why you think this is rude, though...
8 is a big litter for a dog and an average litter for a pig. How is this not a "litter" of babies?
They are not being rude, they just
want to tell you that you should not be lenient and give in every time to the despicable behaviour of your father.
It may be rude.
I think it is worse to be invited to a wedding for a person you have not seen in 20 years. What possible reason would they invite her except for a gift? Has she heard from the bride or groom during the whole engagement process, or did she get a call that said "hey I met a great person and they may be the one". I bet not. But when it comes time to get gifts, they send to everyone they have come in contact with since they were born.
I think the bride and groom(any bride and groom) need to think about how much cost is involved to their guests, bridal party, family, etc, when they plan a wedding and not be offended if people can't participate.
I said it was very sad, do you consider that rude?
It is a sad thing when you possibly have to leave a note, the possibility you will not be there for a child to let them know. What is not sad about that? What is rude about that? Are you sure you read the post correctly? I find it tremendously sad and stand by my first posting. As far as the person in high school you said became pregnant a second time, not trying. After having a first pregnancy she should have known the cause. Birth control usually works in cases like that, condoms, etc.
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