punishment
Posted By: maam on 2007-02-04
In Reply to: My child got in trouble at school. - time-out
Apologies seem to stick with my children; my boy has had to apologize to his teacher for misbehaving and guess what, no problems since. I think making her apologize is appropriate and will humble her enough to never have to worry about it again.
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Harsh punishment but . . .
like you, I don't agree with this sort of behavior at all. But what recourse does the school have? These days, kids communicate widely via the internet. When one child writes something evil or threatening about another child in a blog or sends bullying emails, parents go straight to the school and ask that something be done about it. In the same vein, shouldn't the school do something about their own teachers being bullied? Most schools now address this sort of thing in their parent/student handbooks.
We can leave this up to the parents, but sadly, lots of parents aren't doing their jobs, either monitoring their children's activities online or teaching them appropriate social behavior. In and of itself, this one comment about a teacher isn't so threatening, but the bigger picture can be pretty upsetting.
I have a friend whose teenage children drive me insane. I can barely keep my mouth shut around them. I would love to sit them down and tell them how obnoxious they are. They are profane and will curse in front of adults and then tell us that we're just uptight and "what's the big deal". Many times as I speak to my friend on the phone, her children will start a conversation with mom while she is on the phone to me. That's rude in itself, but the foul-mouthed comments about their teachers, etc., are horrible. Mom does nothing about it, in fact, she joins in with the remarks. In recent months, I hardly talk to my friend on the phone anymore, because these sorts of things were happening nearly every time I speak to her on the phone. That may not be relative to this situation, but it's an example of the kind of "support" that schools get from parents.
I think the school has to have some say over what the kids are doing online with respect to school, but 10 days total suspension is an awful lot.
Well, I for 1 don't think the punishment fits the
The school is waaaaay over-reacting. Suspension for 4 days? Come on, he didn't hit his teacher out of anger, just kidding around.
Oh, well. Maybe you should have him write his teacher a note of apology. That might help with his relationship in the future with her.
I have found the best punishment for kids is
to do hand them the exact opposite of what they want to do. For example, does he love to go outside and play? Then he sits in his room without anything like his television, telephone, just 4 walls. If he is a couch potato then he spends time outside, even if just sitting under a tree and thinking about things. I always punished children/grandchildren with the opposite of what they loved to do. Works like a charm.
That's an interesting form of punishment
Something I might try the next time. I agree that 4 hours was a little a harsh, which is why I gave in after about 30 minutes. I will say that he was pretty good the rest of the day. He had 1 time when he started to rough-house with his brother and it ended pretty quickly when I reminded him that he could sit on the chair again, this time until his dad comes home. He quit pretty abruptly.
Thanks for your input.
My father one time decided this was the punishment for my son
Had him write 200 times I must not ...... My father laughed as he told me when my son got through he said, "Now paw-paw can I do it again?" What works for 1 does not necessarily work for another.
Not withholding as punishment - withholding as a reaction (sm)
Maybe it does exacerbate the problem - but I have dealt with the problem for over 13 years. I gave in for years hoping it would help. Now, I don't care if it exacerbates the problem - unless something changes in the relationship and I feel like I want to be with him in that way, I am not doing it.
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