pleasure versus happiness
Posted By: anon on 2007-05-05
In Reply to: In your opinion... - sm
Pleasure pertains to the senses. For instance, it is pleasurable to eat something you like. Happiness is a state of being which may or may not involve the senses, as in desires fulfilled. For example, it was a pleasure to eat the chocolate cake. I'd be happy if I could have the pleasure of doing it every day.
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Happiness is a heart thing; pleasure is a head thing.nm
pleasure
To me, pleasure is fleeting...
Happiness is lasting...
I have had the pleasure...
....of working in several nursing homes as a CNA and nurse before coming to medical transcription. It's hard work and usually staffing is sometimes paltry, even in the good homes, but we really do care. Really. Every place has bad eggs, the hospitals, home care, etc., but everyone usually has to have some sort of heart to work in a nursing home.
First things first...I always would check for jobs with this litmus test, and I recommend anyone do this. This is a make or break kind of ordeal. You look for the state inspection report. It HAS to be placed in a prominent place in the facility. If you cannot find it readily, ask where it is. If there is anything going on with hiding these documents, you leave and never come back. The other thing is to smell for stale urine or strong air fresheners. If you smell either of those, leave. (Do not check for BM smell--the smell often radiates and may be new, for lack of a better term.) Look at the residents. Do many of them seem content? Do you see aides with gait belts around their waists? Do the nurses look terribly stressed? Please also do not judge by tones of voices in the direct care staff. Often the staff must talk very directly, succintly, and abruptly--it sometimes comes off as harsh, but it's not--for particular residents to hear and/or understand.
If you go in a facility in the evening, often the place is chaotic, particularly if there are demented residents. There is a condition known as sundowning that is very, very real. The ones with dementia who are sundowning may give the impression that care is not being given due to the chaos and behaviors brought by the condition. It's not the case. Usually these residents are kept in common areas until they are calm enough to retire for the night.
If you go in the nighttime, often there is one night nurse for about 65ish residents. If you are so inclined to come in at this time and do not see anyone at the nurse's station for some time, know that the nurse may be tending to a medical issue and the CNAs are tending to personal care of the residents.
If you ever see nurses eating a sandwich in one hand and writing in another hand while sitting at the nurse's station, this is sometimes the only break he or she gets. It's not out of disrespect that this is done. It is so that nurse can care for the residents as best as he or she can.
What you are describing in your original post, unfortunately, is quite common, from what I have seen. Two people who are married a long time will often pass not too far apart. It seems people often do decide when they will go. As a nurse, it's one of the more incredible things I've seen. When I saw it happen, I always had the sense there is an extremely strong bond between the spouses that absolutely nothing could break. I'm not trying to say anything is amiss with your mother. I'm not. It doesn't always happen that way. I hope I don't come off that way. I'm sorry you are going through this, because no one wants to send a loved one to the nursing home, yet caring for an ailing parent is one of the most stressful things anyone can experience. I have never been in your position, so I hope I don't come off as too forward, rude, or presumptuous, but I wanted to tell you a little more about what you may be getting into.
If you live in Iowa, I'd recommend you to a great one that has the best nurse I've ever met working there now. He has cooked up oyster soup in our kitchen when a resident stopped eating because the resident loved oyster soup. He has taken residents fishing for the heck of it. He wears a scrub shirt with chickens on it because many of our residents were farmers and like the shirt (and because my husband has a silly sense of humor and a wife with a sewing machine). I've known CNAs who buy (with their own money) residents pop and even steak just because the resident wanted it and could have it. Shoot, lots of us do it, even when we don't have a lot of money to our names. I loved to sing with the residents that had dementia (music seems to be retained) and chat about life with the residents who had their faculties. I promise it's not all doom and gloom. Sure, nursing homes could do better, but if you find the right one, it may just work out.
All my best to you and your mother.
Gifts given from love. Not for your pleasure of seeing
x
My Pleasure - Hope it works for you. Love that kneading feeling! - nm
x
IQ does not equal happiness
I've known other brilliant people who indulged in self-destruction. There have been studies that suggest the smarter you are the less happy you are, and there may be some truth in it.
The first reason for this would be people with attitudes like yours, abc. They hold smart people to the highest standards. They don't allow a genius to be human, but they do have weaknesses. Imagine spending your whole life hearing "If you're so smart how could you, why haven't you....". There is enormous pressure put upon them by others to do something great, to perform mental tricks for the amusement of others, to "prove how smart they are". Some become as insecure about it as beauty queens do about their looks - I remember when I was married to my genius, we watched a show about a child prodigy who could play great compositions at the age of 4. This show upset my ex, I could see it made him jealous and insecure, and nervous that he was not as great as everyone assumed him to be. Just like there's always someone richer, thinner, and better looking, there's always someone smarter too.
Another reason would be lonliness. The smarter you are, the less you have in common with the majority of the population. The things that interest you most people can't even understand. I think one purpose Mensa was created was so that they could find people to talk to on their own level. The pitfall there is most of them are so specialized in their own areas of interest they still don't have anything in common - the gifted musician does not want to discuss quantum theories with the scientist, they can understand it, they just aren't interested in it.
In my ex's case, his substance abuse has three factors - First, he's physically handicapped, and his health has always been a problem. He self medicates with substances to escape the misery of being in his body. Second, he's a classic nerd who never had any friends or a social life. He started abusing substances to try to be one of the cool partying folk, to fit in. All of his current friends abuse substances, but he at least has some friends now, that's how he sees it. Third, the pressure to perform has caused him to give up. He was a computer guru before computers were cool. Once computers were mainstreamed to the general populace, and new software was coming out on a daily basis, he could no longer know "it all". When he reached that crossroads, he panicked, gave up and dove into the bottle to hide from his insecurities.
A high IQ is often just as much a curse as a blessing. I am assuming the reason to abuse substance is pretty universal - the desire to escape reality for a while, then it becomes a habit. If a person doesn't have the courage to deal with reality and change their life, they may choose to destroy it instead.
Intelligence and happiness....sm
Intelligence should ENABLE you to lead a happy life ND solve your problems.
Intelligence does not guarantee happiness.
My days are filled with happiness
and not anger. I get out of the house and I unfortunately do not have any roses to smell right now. May be I will buy some. I do lead a pleasant life, and again I am not confused. Again, have a nice day. Over and out.
If you truly "love" someone, do you give up your own happiness for them?
I know this is where compromise comes in, but say like, if you are in a relationship and your personalities clash... but you love each other... one of you likes to be social and the other wants to stay home and doesn't want to have friends... how do you deal with this? Because if you compromise doesn't it feel like you are just forcing the other person to do what they dont want to do...?
My secret to happiness what something my grandma
told me.
My grandparents were opposites. I asked her on their 50th wedding anniversary how they had been able to stay together so long. She told me this:
You can sacrifice things in your life for the person you love and vice versa. But, if the person loves you and is worth loving, they will not require it of you.
My days are filled with happiness, not anger
and do not dwell on things that happened 13 years ago like some. We were on here talking about 1 thing and when you interject like you did, then the whole subject opened up again. I am sorta you are a confused person. Take a break- get out of the house, smell the roses, lead a pleasant life.
It's not healthy to base your happiness on another person
I'm not trying to be mean or judge, but I just don't understand why women do this. You should never be this "into" a guy, it's just not healthy. You really need to get into counseling or try to fill that void in your life with church/God/Christianity, anything that makes you happy. Find out what makes you happy (in a healthy way) and pursue that. I've been married 10 years to a wonderful man who is honestly my best friend and I would be very sad if our relationship ended, but I wouldn't be devastated and I know that I'm a strong enough woman that I would get through it just fine. To honestly have a healthy relationship, you should be completely happy and whole on your own and you shouldn't need another person to make you feel happy. I pray that you find whatever it is that you're seeking, but trust me, you'll never find it through another person.
That's what this board is for, to share gripes and happiness sm
and whatever else is bothering us. it's nice to see that there are other people out there that bored just like me. there are a lot of pros about working at home, but i have to say, i miss being around people, leaving work at work instead of it staring me in the face all the time. i have two young kids who are in school and they are my main reason for working at home. i want to be there for them when they need me instead of growing up in a daycare.
you're very rude. maybe you need to get out the house a while.
Fibromyalgia versus the above MS
I know mine not as bad and really feel for the MS sufferer. I do not eat much sugar on a day to day basis, half teaspoon with first cup of coffee to get me started but not a real big protein eater either. I do not want to take a lot of ibuprofen if I can help although I did take 3 tablets upon waking this morning because of the sore all over feeling. Ibuprofen is really hard on your kidneys. I had pasta today that hubby fixed but will try on cutting back on the "whites." Is this something you heard or just something you tried? I am open to all suggestions what others have done to help their fibro. Again, thanks!
spanking versus ISS
Here is a quick question for all of you that think that the spanking from the school is okay and before any of you make any snap judgements, I was spanked as a child and when my children were smaller, they too were spanked(BY THEIR PARENTS)....Do you all realize that this school that uses these "swats" as punishment, would be on the phone immediately if they saw you or found out that you "swatted" that same child as punishment for deeds done wrong at home? Since nowadays they want to tell you what you can and cannot do as a parent to acutally parent your child( and then of course complain about said kids nowadays), that by alloing them to do something to your child that they would gladly report you for is quite ridiculous.
How long is this ISS. For five tardies..it sure as heck shouldn't be a whole day or even a half day..it should be something realistic. Yes, I do know what it is like to have to deal with school principals who are jerks, just remember that this is your child and not theirs and that it is your job to look out for them.
If you really feel that just to get this over with right now, you want to let them swat her, that is your choice but since she is so obviously not interested in ISS, I would definitely make sure that she and the school knows that this is a one time pass and yes, I too would either make her do some work around the house or take something away if only for the hassle.
Btw, five tardies in 4 or 5 months is really not that terrible IMO. That is about one a month. My goodness, we all assumed it was cause she talks anyone think that maybe the girl had to use the bathroom during her time of the month. I would also find out when she was tardy and how tardy. My son was given a tardy cause the bus was late getting him to school and I called and let them know that that is not acceptable in my book. They had given several kids on his bus tardies and after several phone calls and a check with the bus company, the tardies were removed. Yes, if my son had been chatting or something, I would not have bothered to call, I would have just remind him that tardiness of his own making is not acceptable.
Best of luck.
LG versus Motorola
If you had a choice between a Motorola cell phone or LG cell phone, which brand would you choose? I had an LG and a Motorola several years ago and I really liked them both. Everyone seems to prefer Motorola, although I hear a lot of complaints about battery life, etc. I only renew my contract every couple of years so I need to make sure I get one I really like. The one I have now is Samsung and I can't wait to trade it out. The Motorola Razr V9m seems nice, but expensive, even with rebates and discounts. If I know I'll like it, I wouldn't mind so much. Everyone used to rave about the Razr phones and I know one of them has been discontinued now so I have to wonder how great they really were.
Thanks!!!
Vista versus XP
Hi,
I am an MT looking to purchase a new computer, and it seems like unless you special order all the computers have Vista on them. How is Vista compared to XP? The companies I work for do support Vista, but I have heard more negative comments about Vista as opposed to good from people I know who use Vista who are not MTs. I am hoping that this will be a smooth transition for me as I am not that computer savvy.
Thanks!
a verb (versus a noun).............nm
Britney versus paparazzi . . .
http://www.bestweekever.tv/
Play Britney verus paparazzi for chuckle
condos versus hotel
Hi, the only tip I really have is check out the rates of the condos on the beach for weekly rentals.
I know they are probably high for summer time, but they offer full kitchens and more amenities than hotels usually... and you can save a lot of money by making your own meals instead of eating out all the time. The end of the summer we got a really good rate at Emerald Isle in North Carolina... I know that's far from you, I'm not sure if FL is as cheap... but you could look at Myrtle Beach too. Just think you're going to be paying probably at least 100.00 a night in a hotel... depending on how many nights you are staying you may just want to look into the condo idea, and if you need any help once you figure out where you want to go I'd be happy to i LOVE doing that kinda stuff :) have fun and good idea to start saving early
Cable tv versus dish
Can anybody give me their experiences with cable televison or dish, specifically Dish Network or DirectTV?
I am considering getting one of these but don't know which one to go with. Thank you!
Guns versus doctors
Doctors
(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services
Now think about this:
Guns
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner .000188.
Statistics courtesy of FBI
So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!
Clothesline versus dryer -- sm
Do you really save that much on the electric bill by hanging out your clothes?
DH doesn't think so, but I'm inclined to disagree with him. If you do save on your electric bill, how much?
Hmm, hard water versus soft
Well might have thought about that but this was noticed as soon as the tile installed and has never been mopped so nothing like that. Heavens only knows where these little spots came from but definitely not water route.
Skinny versus Plump - who is happier?
Well I reckon this will start some fires...Hope I don't get burned.
In your experience, ladies and gentlemen, who is happier? Skinny people who are afraid of a calorie/carb/fat gram? Or plump, curvy individuals?
Having been skinny once upon a time and now having more curves than a country mountain road, I have to say I like myself so much better now that I weigh more. It has been an experience, I tell you that much.
So what do you all think?
HC.
tubes tied versus Essure?
Anyone have either of these procedures done? My husband was supposed to have a vasectomy before my IUD "expired", that was 4 3/4 years ago and I have two more months until I have to have my IUD out. I want something permanent and was going to get my tubes tied/cut but then I found out about the Essure procedure. I'm still leaning towards the tubal but just wondering if anyone out there has any opinions. Thanks so much!
He may be....but $300 pool versus a $30,000 truck, and a boat, etc., etc.? nm
x
Billy Mays versus the Shamwow guy.
Is it just me or how many others out their would like to throttle Billy Mays. I am soooooo sick of him. He's loud, obnoxious, and I'm getting tired of him thrusting his arms out in front every other second. And please someone tell him to stop using the grecian formula. It looks very unnatural. I will never ever buy a product he advertises.
The shamwow guy though. Now he's very enjoyable to watch and I will probably buy anything he advertises. Just a nice switch from watching that obnoxious a$$ BM (gee his initials match what I want to have every time I see him).
Just wondered if anyone out there is as irked as me at Mr. Billy Mays.
My husband and I were deciding on a tubal versus a vasectomy....
after reading these responses about a tubal I told him he has to get a vasectomy....thanks for making my decision easier--I honestly never knew about menstrual issues afterwards...
Community living versus single-family dwelling
I was raised in a large single-family home, although it was on a cul-de-sac and there were no other girls my age in the neighborhhood. That was okay for me at the time because I was a tomboy (and because that was decades ago!). I didn't attend school with the kids on my street. I went to a private school where my mom was a teacher.
Now, I am raising my granddaughter in an apartment community (I was already in an apartment when she came to live with me). Because of my financial situation and the area in which I live and the schools I want her to attend, there is no possible way for me to purchase a home for the two of us. My own kids lived in a single-family neighborhood before my divorce, then lived in a mobile home (double-wide trailer...common in these parts of the woods).
I have so many conflicts about how children feel about the type of living arrangements they have, i.e., a _real house_ versus an apartment complex versus a mobile home community. Personally, I would rather rent an apartment and not be responsible for reparis, but that means a constant turnover of other kids for my GD to relate to, which is also the situation in an apartment complex. I don't want to buy a mobile home - which is what I qualify for grants, subsidies and low-interest loans in this area - so she can go to a better school. Would this cause her to be more shame in her personal relationships with other kids at school than a mobile home community??
I would rather live in a townhome or condo, but that won't happen for some years to come. Since I would be a first-time buyer, there are grants I would qualify for, just no financing because of the high cost of single-family homes and for TH/condos in the area where I want her to attend school.
Can anyone offer advice or experiences about growing up in a multi-family community such as an apartment complex...mobile homes (I know how my own kids felt about it now in hindsight)..versus a condo/townhome or single-family home? I have some time to try to put things together before she starts school, so I am trying to decide what the best course of action for her sake. If I decide to move, it will be to plant roots for the two of us for a long time, so I want to try to make the best decision possible.
Thanks for any input!
Anyone that has a GE washer top load that has any comments on GE versus Whirlpool top load. nm
:
Slow-Mohs versus regular Mohs
I am a patient, not a doctor, but my understanding is this:
A regular Mohs procedure takes many hours but is finished the same day you start the procedure. The doctor cuts out the visible tumor, then makes either vertical or horizontal slices from what she has removed. Those slices are made into frozen slides (not literally frozen) and analyzed by the doctor while the patient waits in the office. This allows the doctor to "map" the tumor. If a part of a slide doesn't show a clear (tumor-free) margin, the patient is called back in to a little more tissue removed. Again, that tissue is made into frozen slides and the doctor looks for clear margins. The patient will keep being called back in to have more removed until all the slides show clear margins. This can take many hours, but once the margins are clear, the wound is closed and that is the end of it.
Slow-Mohs is when the wound is left open for a day or two (and up to a week) while the slides are analyzed. That is why it is called "slow" (the time you spend in the office on the first day of surgery should be about the same as if you had regular Mohs). The reason it takes so much longer to analyze the slow-Mohs slides is because the doctor uses paraffin-embedded slides instead of frozen slides. Paraffin-embedded slides are of much higher quality than frozen (my doctor said it's the difference between a huge HD TV and an old black and white TV with bunny-ear antennas).
For most of the malignant tumors treated by Mohs, frozen slides (and thus regular Mohs) is sufficient. But there are some types of tumors that have long, finger-like extensions (like roots) that are hard to see on frozen slides. If they are removed with regular Mohs than these roots could be missed and lead to a recurrance of the tumor. So that is when Slow-Mohs is usually used.
Sometimes Slow-Mohs is called Modified Mohs, but I have also heard Modified Mohs refer to a regular Mohs procedure with other variations. So if a doctor says they are going to do Modified Mohs, ask them exactly what they mean by that.
You should also ask if your doctor will be using vertical (bread-loafing) slices, or horizontal slices. I think vertical is the norm, but horizontal is better for tumors with irregular boarders.
Also, sometimes after doing regular Mohs with frozen slides, the doctor will take a final slice for paraffin-embedded slides to be analyzed just in case. This final paraffin-embedded slide isn't the same as Slow-Mohs. In the rare instance that the final slide comes back with a positive margin, the patient will be brought back in for another Mohs procedure, but usually regular Mohs is a one-day affair.
Overall, Mohs and Slow-Mohs are a great alternative to a wide surgical excision that could result in greater (and unnessesary) tissue loss. I think it is widely accepted for skin cancers, but more controvertial in other cancers like sarcomas.
I have a very rare sarcoma called Dermatofibrosarcoma protuberans (DFSP) and while most of the literature I read says Mohs is at least equal to or better than wide excision (but with less tissue loss), I have seen 2 sarcoma specialists that are strongly opposed to Mohs for DFSP. However, their reasons are that vertical slices and frozen slides are inadequate for DFSP. However, it doesn't seem like they are aware of the horizontal slicing options and the ability to do paraffin-embedded slides in Slow-Mohs (and doctors don't respond well to any implication that there is something they don't know). So I am trying to arm myself with as much knowledge as possible...and I suggest you do the same if you have one of the more controversial tumors.
Here is a good (technical) article about Mohs and DFSP that describes the different types of Mohs:
"Modified Mohs Micrographic Surgery in the Therapy of
Dermatofibrosarcoma Protuberans: Analysis of 22 Patients" http://www.annalssurgicaloncology.org/cgi/reprint/11/4/438
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