personally, I don't think that has anything to do with why people get divorced...
Posted By: MtMommyof2 on 2009-01-19
In Reply to: I believe strongly in gender rolls... - Kendra
Marriage and having a family is sharing in the responsibilities of both taking care of the house and the kids...My husband and I both work and we both take care of the house and the kids...that way we have time to spend with our family, not one person doing chores all day, et cetera...JMO
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Because not all divorced people hate each other
They had a life together and that is a fact. My ex and I still talk, he and his first ex-wife talked and she and I are friends. They did have kids together and no I was never jealous. He cheated, we went through an ugly divorce - no kids - but had 22+ years together and so now we talk. He was my best friend for a long time and that is the part I missed. Would I marry him again -- no, is there anyting romantic - no but we do talk. So I guess it is something you will have to accept or move on. Not everyone comes out of a divorce bitter enemies. I am closer to my stepchildren than he is as their father.
I personally know 3 people it was wasted on
Of the three people I know, one got a criminal justice degree and now sells real estate, another got a business degree and continues to work on a factory line, a third has decided to become a professional student and see how many degrees she can get - but she never intends to work - is 38 and never had a job in her life.
I attended one of their certificate ceremonies - she was not receiving a degree, mind you, just getting a 1 year completion ceremony. I was amazed at what they were giving completion certificates for - filing was one of them - who brags they got a certificate in filing and hangs it on their wall? In my day you learned such things with OTJ training, or in high school business classes - its not rocket science to learn to file alphabetically, good grief! I was very sad that those girls had paid to learn it. I question the cirriculum and morals of colleges that have classes like that and give out certificates for them, and can't imagine what an HR person thinks when someone proudly presents it to her across the hiring desk!
I've personally sat down with groups of TG people
It was a therapy/support group that I attended with my son/daughter. I was the only parent there. My child was never molested or had any such issues you think are common to "gay" people you are acquainted with. None of the TG people I have spoken with expressed concern about any past abuse. The main issue that everyone had in common and kept discussing was the crushing rejection they received from society and their family. Many were shocked and envious that I as a parent was at the meeting, because their own parents would no longer even speak to them.
If a child is born with gender issues, we make it very clear to them the minute the issue arises that we don't want to hear it. We accuse them of making a choice and judge their choice is wrong, so we punish them, we try to silence them and make them stop the nonsense. So they learn to hide it and handle it alone. IF they make it through puberty without suicide, as adults they tell us it still exists and they must face it. What do we do then? Accuse them of duplicity because they faked being "normal" for so long (after WE forced them to), punish, ignore and hate them, cut them out of the family, weep and moan from the shame of it all and what people will think of them and us. We even tell them we'd prefer they were dead! Because we'd rather deny and eliminate our own child than deal with THIS problem. How very sad for us all. We need to focus on what is wrong with US that we would react this way to a loved one with a very tough problem. Only then can we work on how society sees it.
So for every transgendered person you hear of - know this - they are dealing with a horrible backlash from the people they love AS WELL as the gender issue. Most of them contemplate suicide daily (statistically 50% do commit suicide - the other half that die untimely deaths are murdered). Despise them if you wish, your opinion won't make it go away. The next transgendered person born could be your child or grandchild, your neice or nephew, your best friend's new baby. I pray they will each have someone in their lives that will love them anyway, who doesn't choose gender as more important than the human being.
I personally know 4 people who met and married via dating websites - sm
I was shocked at first when a good friend of mine in her 30s said she had met the most fantastic man on eharmony and was VERY skeptical, but I met him and he is very nice. They have been married 6 years now and baby 2 is on the way. Two of my husband's friends from work met women this way and both are now happily married from what we can tell. Lastly, my husbands 47yo cousin has met a man she is very serious about. They are flying back and forth from CA to NY every few weeks to spend time together. Maybe it does not work for everyone and there probably are some real losers there too, but I have seen firsthand that it can work. Just something to think about. Best wishes whatever route you take! 
My mom divorced him because he was ...sm
cheating with this girlfriend, and he went so far as to get dressed at night and actually go out like a teenager not coming home till midnight or so. He left my mama sitting in the recliner crying many nights. Then knowing she had to get up at 6 am for work he would wake her up to open the door for him cause he lost his key. He was very inconsiderate. That is why she divorced him.
So, since he's divorced twice, do we assume that it
Isn't there such a thing as he divorced the wives? Are you catching my drift? I guess we automatically assume it was "his" fault, and never the woman's? Just a thought. I say just take it slow, but it is so much fun to have that initial spark, and if it continues, then great.
Unfortunately, when we divorced I was completely sm
out of my mind. It is legal because it states that he has the right to make any decision and can change his mind at any time since he has physical custody. He has been very kind in the past to allow my son to spend the entire summer with us. This will be the first summer in 7 years that we have not seen him. Plus, we send for him throughout the year during holidays and spring breaks. He can do this and can make this decision.
I could get a lawyer and amend the agreement we have, but then it will get so ugly (again) and complicated and I don't ever want to go through that ever again. He still has emotional wounds from our divorce (I've since moved on and remarried), so if he wanted to be ugly he can. What's to say my husband and I hire a lawyer in his state, go to court, and then I end up losing even the right to see my son? That can happen, especially since he has not lived with us ever. Thanks for your suggestion, though.
My parents divorced when I was 10. sm
I could write a book. My father wanted the divorce but my mother did not. As an adult I can honestly see why my father was so unhappy. At the age of 10 all I heard was my mother crying all the time. I never restented my father for the divorce, he was a much better father after the divorce. My mother had to really fight a lot of demons after the divorce but I honestly don't think the divorce was the only reason for her problems. I have been happily married for 20 years now, but my older brother is a whole nother story. His marriage lasted 14 years (13 years too long). Part of the reason she stayed was becuase of the children and he was not a great dad by any means. He had terrible anger problems and I honestly don't know if our parents divorce (he was 13 at the time) had anything to do with this. Looking back he was a bit of a bully as long as I can remember, so I don't think it was the divorce that caused his problems. It is hard to believe that we were raised by the same parents and step-mother. You don't say how old your kids are, and although I didn't want them to divorce, I do remember the screaming and yelling that took place, and that is something I just could not subject my children to. Feel free to e-mail if you want to talk.
I was divorced when my girls were 3 and 8. My
oldest daughter tells me that all she could remember was me crying and being upset all the time and how much better it was to have a calm household after we separated. They are now 18 and 13 and seem to be doing fine.
Yes to all your questions. I was divorced at SM
45, after a 27 year marriage from hades. Best thing I ever did. I have never been happier.
I have met the love of my life. The unhappy person now is the woman who had the affair with my ex-husband and is now married to him. Everyone and I mean everyone, believes I came out ahead. That's probably true, considering I got half his money.
Believe me, YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD. The best years are ahead of you. I can promise you that.
P.S. as you are divorced, it is YOU who can choose
with whom of your in-laws your children have contact.
She is in the same boat, married and divorced twice - sm
I would not make any assumptions regarding either party. Maybe his wives cheated, maybe he did, maybe no one did and they just grew apart; maybe her husband cheated, maybe she did, maybe her DHs (both of them) woke up one day and said hey I don't want to be married anymore, lots of fish in the sea. Who knows. She will find out as she gets to know him better if he is a jerk or not (i.e. if he was the root cause of his divorce or not). My DH was divorced (first marriage and hopefully only for me) and granted I know things now that I did not know then, but she did leave him and divorce him but I see some of the reasons now and know he was not totally innocent in the whole thing, but I also know there was a lot more to it. I don't think it is just one person's "fault" for a divorce, they both contribute, generally one more than the other but both people are definitely involved (it is their marriage). I say have fun, and see where it goes, just don't get all lovey dovey and become blind, try to be smart at the same time.
yes, she and Jerry divorced but remarried....
Divorced Moms - How did you know it was time? (sm)
I am in an unhappy marriage, but I am scared to leave. I have insurance through my husband because I am an IC and I have all these fears - what if my job phases out? what if I injure my hands, what if I get sick, how will I take care of my kids. How did you know it was time?? Is it better now>
I've been divorced now for 5 years and have....sm
recently started dating, if you want to call it that. Things seem to be a lot different now when it comes to "relationships." There are 2 men that I am interested in and 1 of these men is more interested in me than the other one. Do I follow my heart or do I follow my head? They both have positives and negatives, as we all do. I just don't want to make a bad decision that I may later regret. I know this is not a lot of info but I have heard "follow your head" and I've also heard "follow your heart, no matter where the road may lead." Help!!!
Parents gettting divorced...sm
My parents are in their fifties and are getting a divorce because my dad is running around. Well she filed for divorce and he would not get out the house. He said until the divorce was final he had the right to stay, which is true actually. She can't force him to leave. At the beginnning of the divorce he agreed to give her the house and 3 acres and he would just take the other additional 7 acres. Well he has been told for months he better be finding a place to live but he refused to even look. He doesn't want to leave the house. Now the papers will be final next week and mama said you are leaving. He says he can't afford to get a place right now. She says well you have been knowing for months you should have planned ahead. She doesn't know what to do. It is like she can't get rid of him. He wants to do what he wants to do and have another woman and go out every night but he wants to live there and says how can you throw me out with nowhere to go. She said well you have had the opportunity to get a place. And he has had the money. She said he just won't get out. She could have him legally evicted and law officials make him leave but what an awful thing to have to do. But he is headset not to leave.
I would have divorced a long time ago....sm
when my husband had a drug problem. I didn't because my son told me he would not come with me but that he would choose to stay with his dad. He was around 7 years old at the time. I couldn't leave my son. So I didn't leave. He is so close to his daddy. He would pick his dad drugs and all over me any day of the week and that hurt me very bad because I have always been a good mom. So I stayed. I guess God helped me though because my husband quit using drugs miraculously later and we are doing pretty good now.
I am a working divorced mother - I consider anyone (sm)
who works and supports their children to be a single parent. I am just saying that my children are my priority, and I cannot be giving my money to some guy. A single woman with plenty of money and no children to think of might not mind, but I do.
Please talk! Been divorced for a long time
now and I think ignoring things and lack of communication led him to other women and the rest of the story is not important. So many people I have talked to feel that just letting things go without talking let to terminal demise of their marriage. Do something before it escalates. This may have been a perfect opportunity to begin dialog.
Happily divorced 11 years..and still single!
Use your head first. You don't have to settle for the least worst of the two...there are other fish in the sea. :-) I found my standards were WAY too low when I married my ex-hubby. Now they are high and I'm not going to settle for less than I deserve.
I was divorced, did not call myself a single parent
and I worked lots of jobs to make a living, not 1 red cent from the father of my son, never and I bought and made it all myself- I took them around their relatives, they always had a good home, involved in their schooling, the whole 9 yards. I am not responsible for a child turning against their mother for their love of money (the son). Others on her asking what phone call more important than my daughter, well having a phone call with an aunt who is in hospice with metastatic cancer in their late 80s.....
Divorced parents college agreement?
Those of you who are divorced and have children......how did you agree (or how would you agree) to pay for your child's college education? can you please share with me how your agreement is worded in your contract....if you do not want to respond to this post please email me....I am needing help ASAP!!! Thanks in advance....
I am divorced and now on good terms with MIL, but not while we were married! sm
She was very critical, called me every name in the book and kept telling her son I was no good that he belonged in the home I could not PROVIDE FOR HIM, as in the home they could. Umm last time I checked he was an adult too and we were to make a home TOGETHER.
I can remember being sent to the hospital with preterm labor with my daughter. I was scared, I had had to drive my sons to my mom's and then myself to the hospital. My doctor was furious with him. Why did I have to do that? Because SHE needed to go to the doctor about her 'rrhoids and her rear end was more important than OUR unborn child!!! Oh and he could have been available sooner, but she wanted to go shoe shopping. She was truly the other woman in my marriage and when anything happened where I truly needed him, he was with her...shopping, taking her to the doctor, driving her to the dentist. He eventually lost a job because all of that. He didn't learn and continued until he finally has not had a full time job since.
What finally bridged the gap was our divorce. He didn't see his kids or pay support because he didn't feel he should have to. BUT I never kept my kids from her, she is their grandmother and they are her only grandchildren. She never forgot a birthday or Christmas and she didn't play favorites like my mom did. I respected her for what I felt was her important role in their lives and she grew to respect me for my that.
What finally did it is the fact that my ex up and remarried. The gal he married has many documented mental health issues (I saw the report her ex had on her, but that is a long story). My MIL tried with wife #2, she really did. Finally, just about the time they married, this gal threatened my MIL's life and hit her in the face hard enough to knock her down! This was done in front of my oldest son and my MIL's boyfriend at the time (FIL had passed on).
From that day on, I was welcome in her home anytime and "that woman" was not. I suddenly became the nicest of her 3 DILs and she told me that herself. Although the kids are grown and I have moved out of state, I send her birthday and Mother's Day cards. I know she regrets the things she said and did, she told me that too. I told her that stuff was all in the past and what really mattered is the here and now.
If your mom and dad just divorced this year, have you ever thought of depression? sm
Maybe your dad is going through a real hard adjustment to his new life and could use a little help or boost from you instead of a cold shoulder. Sounds to me like he might just be in some major depression as his life has had a drastic change. Reach out to him and help him in his time of need. Sure he is an adult, but everyone can walk on hard times with major traumatic events going on in their life and he may just lack desire to care due to his depression.
its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home
Divorced, never considered myself single (?) and bought my own home
years ago - the price was unbelievable, 15,500 and sold it 2 years ago for $165,000. Quite a deal huh?
Sounds likea control freak and a doormat. Friend of mine just divorced after 23 yrs of being the
s
you can give the people the facts, but the decision making process should be left to the people
This is what our country is founded on FREEDOM OF CHOICE! I'm laughing already; you are just as mortal as the rest of us, and don' even attempt to that you've never done anything in your lifetime that was unsafe or unhealthy. NOT gonna buy it.
I personally only used it twice, I think.
I HATED sitting in that line. I would rather just save the money myself and go buy it.
I don't know why they are closing it though???
personally,
i believe you might ought to go to the ER. They can help the immediate situation and/or refer you to the proper followup. You poor thing. I certainly sympathize. Some husbands just don't know how to be there when you need them most. There's surely also hotline numbers that could help, but i don't know them -- maybe in your phone book? You could also try a church counselor. But i really think the ER is your best bet, for comprehensive care. God bless you.
I did not mean that you personally were --sm
hiding your head in the sand, but that some people do and really are not aware of what is going on around them. The world is just not the place that it was intended to be or what it used to be 50 years ago, but this is all predestined, if you believe in what the Bible says. Nothing is going to change evil. It is here to stay and strengthen until the end. But I do believe that we have to be vigilent in order to protect ourselves from it.
as far as the media goes, well, I think they tend to over exaggerate other peoples misfortunes just to get ratings, and that is not going to change either, but as far as them giving this guy his 15 minutes of fame..he was already dead, so what does he care? too little too late. It did not make him feel any better now and hopefully he is already toasting his little toes, right where he should be. Just my opinion though and I do appreciate the fact that some people are tired of this stuff and care not to watch it on TV. You shouldn't have to.
Well I personally would not want that either
Was this your daughter's first wedding? And all you did was buy a dress and show up? Wow. My mom was there for all the planning, advice, etc., and she paid for it.
personally, I don't see how anyone has --sm
time to watch this stuff. I have to WORK for a living. I rarely even turn TV on much before eight at night, but for those of you with the time, glad you find them entertaining. Wish I could be in your shoes.
Not personally but my
My sister was visiting in Boston a couple years back and, on a lark, she and a friend went to see a psychic.
The woman was 100% on the spot. She recorded the session for my sister so she could bring it home and it was really interesting. Pegged our mother for being domineering and manipulative. Got the kids right, both my sisters kids and MY kids.. I was nowhere near there.
Told her a bunch of stuff about me too. Said I was the "fixer" and would be a loyal sister and friend for life.
Then she also mentioned our brother and said that he is much like our mother, though he refuses to believe it, and he puts on "airs" to try to make others around him feel like he is everything and they are nothing.
I would LOVE to go see this woman myself! hehe
I personally think
you can place the crystal and china any way you please - it's your home, your style. Decorate the way you like.
I personally think it went very well. sm
This is only the third time I have taught this class. I just fill in when needed. What made it so good was that there was so much discussion. Every person (10 of us)of course had pretty much the same idea about what heaven would be like as in no tears, no pain, etc., but they also had differing opinions about what we might see or discover. Most of us tend to think heaven will be a different experience for everyone. We won't all see the same things. Everyones heaven will be different. It was also very interesting sharing with everyone some of the posts from this site. No atheists in the class but they found some of the ideas of the ones here interesting so that lead to even more discussion. Several people told me after class what a good job I did. Honestly I didn't do much at all. It was just like on this board, I asked a question and it just snowballed from there. Actucally I was worried that I wouldn't have enough to fill up the entire class time but we almost ran out of time. Again thanks to everyone that responded.
I can't say that I personally see it...
in my day-to-day life (thank goodness!) but I do hear about it often from my husband. For example, 2 people he works with are currently having an extramarital affair...this will be the man's 2nd affair at this company. He got the other woman pregnant; they got caught; got fired; he got rehired! My parents and inlaws have been married forever also, as well as my sisters (but my brother is a different story...). I just know that cheating is all too common and it is a very, very painful experience for everyone involved. My DS just broke up with his GF of over 2 years because she cheated...broke my heart for him, but he's rebounding great...thankfully!
Not me personally
However, my best friend married a man 3 years younger than her oldest child. They are extremely happy and married 20+ years later. Some men in their 50s are like teens and some young 20-something men are extremely mature beyond their years.
I believe it is easier to date someone your own age (or approximately) and a better fit overall, but this would have to be an individual decision.
Lilly
I personally believe that there was some
sort of tragic accident and she panicked and tried to cover it up.
not personally, but
I have a male friend who lost 30 pounds using it. He liked the process, said it was easy, he didn't have to think about anything, maybe a little pricey but he lost the weight & has managed to keep it off.
I personally don't think that....... sm
it is not completely forgivable. If it were, then Jesus' death on the cross would not have been adequate to cover all sin (save blasphemy of the Holy Spirit) and we would all be in a pickle. I'd be interested to know what the OP bases her statement on...chapter and verse, please.
Personally, I think
these things are more interesting reading the a lot of what ends up on this board.
I'm too tired to come up with a list right now, but when I do, I will post. : )
Personally, I don't even consider
smoking pot (or eating, vaporizing, whatever) an attempt to escape anything. I don't do it anymore, and I feel physically horrible most days because of it. When I smoke pot, not only do I physically feel much, much better, I am not demotivated in the least. Because I am feeling good, I am able to get much more done than I otherwise would be able to do.
The only reasons I avoid it are A) I have underage children and I do not want them confiscated; and B)I learned that my state now has a zero tolerance drugged driving law (which simply means that one does not need to be impaired to be found guilty, but is based on any detectable level of the drug or its metabolites in the blood or urine). Notable to me is that some other states that also have the zero tolerance drugged driving law do exclude marijuana from it. I believe North Carolina is one of them. I also find it outrageous that there are people who are attempting to subject citizens to roadside drug testing, in the form of a roadblock similar to seatbelt/insurance roadblocks. No probable cause required, just testing everybody. Many of these people are those who make money off of drug testing and have, in the past, successfully lobbied for workplace testing. A very scary violation of citizens' rights, if you ask me.
well, I do not mean it personally, but
after all this was a competition and Gilles or Melissa deserved the crystal ball, not Shawn, sorry!
I personally like TracFone
I just bought a new one at Dollar General a few weeks ago after not having a cell for a few years. It was only $20 for this cute little Nokia with a built-in flashlight, and when I activated it online and registered with an email, I got 80 minutes free. I had a phone number in 10 minutes. You never lose your minutes but you do need to buy new minutes at least every 2 months to keep your phone number, which works out to $10/month. I've had TracFones on and off throughout the years and I've always had a good experience.
I personally don't consider this harassment
If he had actually made a comment about your breasts or some other part of your body, then yes, I would consider that sexual harassment. Since you stated he simply asked if you had found a piece of clothing that fit, I would not agree that this is considered sexual harassment. Honestly, it sounds like you're just being overly sensitive and taking his comment way out of line. I mean if he had made the same exact comment about a pair of shoes or something, would you have been offended?? I agree that it was none of his business, but not something he should be fired over.
Personally I'd have the surgery
I know it's a scary situation to be in and a big decision to make but I would do everything I could to take away the doubt that it might some day come back. Of course there are no guarantees but I'd put the odds in my favor.
I personally like the lizard better. nm
nm
Personally I see nothing wrong with it, I did - sm
My DH's proposal was less than romantic, he had been waiting an hour for me and my family to show up at a restaurant (he was early) and by the time we got there he was pretty toasted. He said we should get engaged before we moved in together, which we were doing in about 2 months and my parents knew about. So the next day I figured he would not remember a thing. He surprised me by saying, well are we going ring shopping or not? We did, though we did not get anything that day, did the next though. We chose it together which I think is the best way to go about it. I had his input on (1) how much he wanted to spend, and (2) what he thought would be nice-- a marquis (he knew I did not want a solitare--but he leaned towards filagree and I do not like that, which I made clear). So together we looked until we found one we both loved and were happy with. The next day he sent me a dozen roses though with the note saying "Will you marry me". To this day he jokes that he never actually said those words to me. Then he told me what he wanted to buy me for my wedding band, a band of diamonds to match the accent diamonds in my engagement ring; and I have wholesale jewelry contacts and was able to order it at a 1/3 of the retail and also his wedding band which he picked out for himself. --Your BF needs to get over it, sounds like his ego is hurt though. Good luck.
did not mean you personally Hayseed..sm
I did not vote for 'em either, but unfortunately have to pay the price for ill made decisions in the present and the past. I know an awful lot of people who did vote for this regime though and are sure crying the blues now! Wish they had gotten smarter about 30 years ago! I know we have differing opinions on this subject. I do not agree with abortion one bit, but I do agree that there should be no government making our decisions for us...male or female. Unfortunately, I do think this country is too far gone to get it back to the true democracy is was meant to be.
I personally don't like Lakisha...sm
She has no personality at all! Does she ever smile? Yes, she can definitely sing, no doubt about it, but you do need more. My dh and I cringe when she's on. She's very robotic and unemotional. We like Blake and Jordin! We used to like Melinda until she started looking like she's 45 years old. She's in a league of her own, though, and will definitely go onto succeed, but not as a pop icon. She reminds me of Barbra Streisand with how professional she is.
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