once the trust is gone, so is the love, and the relationship..sm

• My husband is an alcoholic currently in rehab for his addiction. - LoriMT
  • In the first place...sm - Ella (retired)
  • write him a letter and explain to him like you - ()
  • tell him just like you explained it here. sm - MT
    • I agree with 'MT'....nm - ()
  • Don't worry - AA
  • You shouldn't feel responsible.... - MTTTTTTTT
    • OMG! sm - Ella (retired)
  • You're still enabling - It's not YOU
    • What a wonderful story....sm - Ella (retired)
  • My heart just breaks for you - sm - angie
  • Just my opinion - daiseymae
  • First, go to Alanon. Second, maybe speak to a counselor sm - ChiaPet
    • Yes, like I said, by all means go to Al-Anon. sm - Ella (retired)
    • Even if he truly changed, I'm just not sure if I could love him again. - LoriMT
      • Been there done that - travelinmt
      • once the trust is gone, so is the love, and the relationship..sm - me
  • I really don't know the answer for you. - pc

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Keeps me roasty toasty...In that picture there the wind chill put the temperature to -25, the kind of cold where your eyes steam and then that steam frosts your lashes up.  It's very dangerous. 

HOWEVER, these coverall things are designed for dudes with no curves, so the crotch winds up going down to your knees and you wind up walking like a penguin.  I have wiped out in it and I feel like the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka where they have to roll her away.

No way, no day would you find me in California or anywhere outside of New England.  It's best I don't venture too far away from my mental health care providers, know what I'm sayin?

I just some at Tractor Supply I've got my eye on (Man, I'm such a hick!) that are actually specifically tailored for women, so a set of those are on my wish list along with that split keyboard. 

My fiance and I live together - been together 4 years - living together 3 months - supposed to get married this year. . Most of the time, everything is great.  He gets stressed out about finances, makes a rude remark to me about my lack of house cleaning ability, I get mad and go off by myself for a few hours - he gets even madder and starts saying our relationship is over, etc. . He leaves for several hours, comes home and we make up. . I am having a hard time with this. . I feel like I have to react a certain way or this whole blow up is going to happen. . I love him and know he loves me - I just don't understand how something so small can turn into something so big. . Anyone with any advice?

will jeopardize her other benefits.  You should have an attorney who is well versed in this type of thing to go over all the ins and outs of the situation. 

The first three months or so you will both be so tired you won't know how you can possibly make it, but you will. If you have family close by to help, that is great (I was an Air Force wife, so we were far from both our families). Hopefully, though, you will start to see your husband in a whole new light. I know I did. He had never had much use for children before, although I knew he loved animals, so that's always a good sign. He would spend hours playing with our cats, and he loved to sit and watch TV with one or both of the cats in his lap. To me, that showed a loving heart.

He had a lot of learning to do, but he became a wonderful father. Seeing that, I fell in love with him all over again. He became much more open emotionally, primarily with our son, but some of that spilled over into our relationship as well. And having a child together bonds a couple together like nothing else. Here is this wonderful being who is a part of BOTH of you, and who you both love like you never thought you could love another human being.

Sure, there will be difficulties. There will be times when he wants sex and you are so exhausted all you want to do is sleep for a week. There will be times when you are so focused on the baby you won't realize you are neglecting him. But if you are aware of all these possibilities, you are less likely to let the situation go on so long that it becomes a problem.

Good luck to you, whatever happens.  

I understand your disappoinment...I'm sorry you had to catch him in a lie...that's the worst.

Stick to your initial plan and don't give in....He's gotta regain/earn your trust back at this point before you let him have the car.  The end of the semester may seem like an eternity, but it's only about 8 or 9 weeks and then he'll be home for Christmas break.  He'll live and perhaps thank you some day.   

It appears the girlfriend's parents and you are on the same page.  That's a big plus.

Did you ever get that cell phone back?   Cat

My spirituality comes from many places...

Mother Teresa said:

People are often unreasonable and self-centered.  FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.  BE KIND ANYWAY.

If you are honest, people may cheat you.  BE HONEST ANYWAY.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous.  BE HAPPY ANYWAY.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.  DO GOOD ANYWAY.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.  GIVE YOUR BEST ANYWAY.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.  IT NEVER WAS BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY.

-----------

And that, my fellow MTs/MEs, is something we all should contemplate!

Have a GREAT week!!!

I've been the trustee of my older sister now since 2001 when our mother died.  She is mentally retarded because she fried her brain on LSD and mescalin when she was a teenager, also is bipolar and on SSDI.  

She just called me to say she is on the edge of losing all of her benefits, including her state-funded housing, because her love toy went and blabbed to the housing authority that she was getting this "extra" money and it's a huge amount.  Well, it's not a huge amount by any means, not even $40,000 to last her lifetime.  I'm sure she and her benefits are protected via the whole category of "Special Needs Trust" but to say my blood pressure is up is an understatement of the decade. 

I just want to drive 8 hours to smack the sh*t out of her and her G-spot Johnny (did I mention she's also hypersexual?!) boy toy.  Now, I'm not a violent person, but the attorney told me that the government could also come after me if they feel there has been any sort of fraud here.  I'm not the one that did drugs, yet for some reason this responsibility was tossed in my lap.  Hmmm...could be that whole atheist thing and this is mom's retribution. 

So, anyone know anything about Special Needs Trusts I should be particularly concerned about?

Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.

Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.

=============================

NEW DELHI, India (CNN) -- "I was a walking time bomb. I knew I had to get on that plane if I wanted to be around to see my grandkids."

Sandra Giustina is a 61-year-old uninsured American. For three years she saved her money in hopes of affording heart surgery to correct her atrial fibrillation. "They [U.S. hospitals] told me it would be about $175,000, and there was just no way could I come up with that," Giustina said.

So, with a little digging online, she found several high quality hospitals vying for her business, at a fraction of the U.S. cost. Within a month, she was on a plane from her home in Las Vegas, Nevada, to New Delhi, India. Surgeons at Max Hospital fixed her heart for "under $10,000 total, including travel."

Giustina is just one of millions around the world journeying outside their native land for medical treatment, a phenomenon known as "medical tourism." Experts say the trend in global health care has just begun. Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.

Companies such as Los Angeles-based Planet Hospital are creating a niche in the service industry as medical travel planners. One guidebook says that more than 200 have sprung up in the last few years. "We find the best possible surgeons and deliver their service to patients safely, affordably and immediately," said Rudy Rupak, president of Planet Hospital. "No one should have to choose between an operation to save their life or going bankrupt."

Planet Hospital, which works with international clients as well as Americans, books patients' travel and arranges phone interviews with potential surgeons. Patients are greeted by a company representative at the airport in the country where they've chosen to be treated; a 24-hour personal "patient concierge" is also provided, a level of service that's standard among many of the top medical travel planning companies.  Watch Dr. Sanjay Gupta meet some medical tourists »

"Our patient concierge was amazing," said Giustina. "He came to the hospital every day, gave us his personal [telephone] number and after my operation, he arranged private tours of India." Just two days post-op, Giustina and her husband, Dino, toured local markets and landmarks including the Presidential Palace and the Taj Mahal.

"I was able to fix my heart and tour India, which is something I thought I'd never do."

Walk through a patient wing at Max Hospital in New Delhi on any given day and you're likely to see people from around the world. In one visit, CNN met patients from the United Kingdom, Nigeria, Jordan, Afghanistan and the United States. They're alike in choosing surgery abroad, but their reasons differ.

Many South Asians and Africans said they travel abroad because they do not have access to care in their homeland.

Some Canadians and Europeans said they chose to travel aboard, despite having national health plans, because they are tired of waiting -- sometimes years -- for treatment.

Patients from the Middle East said they come to India because the technology as well as the staff is more advanced.

For most Americans CNN spoke to, it came down to finding the best value. "If I could have afforded my procedure in the United States, I would have taken it, but that was not my option," Giustina said. "I had to get online and look for a Plan B." Read about hot destinations for medical tourism

The private hospitals in India market themselves as having upscale accommodations, Western-trained surgeons and state-of-the-art medical equipment.

CNN spent time at Max Healthcare in New Delhi and saw operating rooms similar to those in many U.S. hospitals. If fact, Max's neurosurgery room had an inter-operative MRI scanner, which is technology hardly seen at hospitals in the United States.

The lobby had marble floors, a book café, coffee station and a Subway sandwich shop. The patient suites were equipped with flat screen TVs, DVD players and Wi-Fi. This hospital also catered to families traveling together. The suites had adjoining rooms with a kitchenette, coffee maker and a sofa bed.

Max neurosurgeon Dr. Ajaya Jha said the hospital can provide high-quality care at low prices because the staff work hard to cut waste.  Watch Dr. Gupta visit an Indian spice market »

"I've seen hospitals in the U.S. where they open up something costing $10,000 and say, 'Oh it's not working. OK, give me another one.' We would never do that here. Even for 100 rupees (about $2) -- we would say, "Do we need to open this suture? Do we need to open this gauze?' We are very conscious of cost."

Hospital officials negotiate hard to keep costs low for high-tech medical machinery and other supplies, Jha said. "In the U.S. people are making careers out of carrying laptops and documenting things that are not really useful in the long term for the patient."

The salary of a U.S. surgeon is five times that of a surgeon in India. "We [surgeons in India] want to make a profit, but we don't want to profiteer. We don't want squeeze people and I think American industries should also think that way," Jha said.

Critics of medical tourism warn patients to be diligent when researching treatment aboard. "I've found that industry voices tend to crowd out those of us who are more cautious about the legal risks," said Nathan Cortez, assistant law professor at Southern Methodist University, who is conducting a case study investigating what legal recourse patients have outside America.

Patients don't think about their legal vulnerabilities, Cortez said. "Some countries limit patient access to medical records so they can't really learn what happened during the surgery. And a lot of practitioners in other countries just refuse to give you your medical records. So people have to weigh the risk versus benefits."

While most tourism patients from America are uninsured, major U.S. insurance companies are considering providing "medical tourism" coverage to their customers. Several have already launched pilot programs.

"I think what's really important about medical tourism is that you make the choice for what's right for you and what's important to them," said a spokesman for U.S. health insurer WellPoint Inc.

Experts say that every patient considering traveling abroad for surgery should inquire about postoperative care, legal rights and the safety standards and certifications of the hospital. Foreign health care providers should be willing to discuss the procedure and answer question ahead of time.

"What really helped me feel good about the process was that my doctor in the U.S. spoke to the cardiologist in India prior to my trip," said Giustina. "They were so open about everything; I knew I'd be in good hands."

Just weeks from returning from abroad, Giustina says she has only one regret, "I shouldn't have waited so long! I feel like a new person again, no more pain."

A younger (like 20 years younger) has fallen for me.  He knows what he wants in life; tired of the young girls who play the mind games, etc.  What are our chances of having a good relationship together.  I am definitely attracted to younger men always.

Thanks for any advice or any experience you may have.