of course they will, but she said her grandmother did apologize.

• family - *
  • Just to lighten up things a bit - mtmomof2
  • She said her grandmother and mother were talking... - Kendra
    • Talk about holding a grudge - A mother
      • Unfortunately, children do hold grudges... - mom and daughter in heaven. sm
    • you make a very good point - *
      • of course they will, but she said her grandmother did apologize. - Kendra

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It's totally cool if you don't agree with something I said!  You asked for other's opinions and that was mine--that maybe he just is concerned for your health.  However, if it's a control issue, that whole alpha male "I'm the one with a penis and it's your job to produce my children and be my trophy wife" BS, then I'd be looking for an out too.  That's mental abuse.  Marriage is about being a team and being supportive when the other is down and out.  If you've tried the counseling thing and you know he's being insincere, what is going on is totally unhealthy and life it too darned short for that, I agree. 

Never apologize for your feelings.  They are YOUR feelings and they are valid.  Your FIL and his wife will find a way to gloss this over and of course their friends will believe them.  I think you rock for doing what you did.  That took cojones - even if they were angry cojones. 

Unfortunately, I have found that there are a lot of people like this who claim to be Christians.  They give the rest of us a bad name, IMO.  I worked at a church for a number of years and it left a very bad taste in my mouth for most organized religion.

As to your husband's situation, there are no words to express what you're going through.  Maybe your husband needs to know - when he's a little stronger - that Dad knows and did nothing.  Maybe that would help him with the final break from his family that he needs and set him on the path to building his own life.   You need to tell his therapist and let his therapist guide you in making that determination.

I personally would be inclined to terminate all contact with his father.  Sounds like your kids won't necessarily miss him and your husband may be healthier for it in the long run.

Good luck.  If you yourself are not already seeing a counselor, I would recommend it highly.  Your husband is going to be in long-term treatment as an outpatient and it would certainly help you as well.

It's a huge part of your life and there's nothing wrong with that!  We have the most wonderful neighbors who are crazy Catholic...I mean they wear rosaries bracelets, have multiple Catholic-esque bumper stickers, and they carry bibles the way most people carry a PDA.  However, they are the most genuine, sweet, and fun people I have met on my little street here.  I love having them over just to shoot the chit, share a bottle of wine, and love hearing them talk about their religion, which is a HUGE part of their lives.  They are happy, friendly, and they love life and that's what counts.  They know I am what I am (atheist) and while I know they say they pray for me, they don't make me feel at all uncomfortable and I think they honestly enjoy my warped view of the world.  Gives them some perspective of what else is walkin' around out there ;-) 

Nice people are nice people, no matter what their (or lack thereof) religious convictions may be.

It is my understanding there is a Vatican I and a Vatican II and that one is ultra-conservative and traditional and the other has sort of a more liberal (for lack of a better word) approach.  So I am sure that not all Catholic churches and all priests are like this one priest.

Also I apologize for the homosexual/molestation remarks I made in my original post.  That was uncalled for and was a terrible thing to say.  Not all priests should be categorized that way.  I was angry with this one priest and obviously didn't have a stronghold on my anger when I first posted.

Thanks for your responses and for not being offended.  It would have been very easy to tear into me for my generalizations.

I have one more question.  My son-in-law to be said something about if he and my daughter were to be married by a justice of the peace, they could still get married in the Catholic in the future should my daughter convert, but if they were to marry in any other church by any other man of God, there marriage would never be recognized in the Catholic church nor could they ever get married (again to each other) in the Catholic church.  Is this true?

This is all just too legalistic for me. 

I really gave some thought to all of your postings overnight.  Your attitude is concerning on many levels, but I think the most bothersome - at least to me - is your lack of compassion of another human's right to be treated with respect.

There are about 3 million Americans currently caring for 6 million kin-related children they did not give birth to (outside of the foster care system - and, oh how that system would crash if it weren't for kinship care!).  The reasons are myriad, complex and simple.  I chose to keep my grandchild out of the foster care system and possible horrors that could be experienced there.  I chose to keep my grandchild in the family so that even though the parents could not raise the child, she would not be anonymously adopted and I would lose contact with her forever.  She has been able to remain within her family.  If I had allowed the state to get involved, there are federal time guidelines that are out of my control and only God knows where she would be today.  I tell her she is lucky to have two mommies...a tummy mommy (my daughter), and a heart mommy (me).  Will she ever go back to her mom?  Only time will tell.  The phrase "it takes a community to raise a child" was coined from life experiences, not just because it sounded good in a speech someone gave.  No matter how I feel about the behavior of her parents, I always tell her they love her.  I do not disparage them to her at all.  I am blessed that they return that gift by not denigrating me to her, either.

When I was growing up, I lived for a year with my aunt to get away from a bad school situation.  A cousin once came to live with my family for the same reason.  These things happened 20-plus years ago, so this woman's situation is not a new one.

There are many reasons that cause someone other than a mom or dad to raise someone else's child.  Those people should be lifted up and honored and the people who promote the well-being of the child over what society thinks or their own selfish interests should be applauded.  It is not demoralizing society for this situation to exist.  These people are doing their best to keep the integrity of the society in which they live intact.

I hope you find peace and compassion on a day when you find yourself in need of support.

Truly a horrible turn of events for you.  Two deaths of loved ones so close together.  Lean on the one who tells us to bring our cares to Him.   It is believed  by many that it would be limiting God to teach that this life is the only time that God can call a person to Himself.  Second resurrection may be the answer.   Also preaching to souls in prison, think about why they would need to be preached to, if these were evil spirits, not human spirits, what good would it do to preach to them?God is a God of love and your family members are in His hands. 

Re suicide, no sane person can take their own life. no matter how "rational" they make it sound.  Those who do kill themselves are not responsible for the sin of murder because they are so sick.