no sympathy, as long as they are
Posted By: sm on 2007-02-22
In Reply to: Do you have sympathy for child molesters? - kam
rightly convicted. I myself have been molested as a child, not severely, not even long-term, but it has had a PROFOUND effect upon my mental/emotional/sexual being. It took flashbacks after almost 30 years to piece it all together and understand the impact upon my life. and NO, i don't think they 'rehabilitate'. I think life in prison is the minimal most of these offenders should do. Death would be better for the more persistent and violent offenders.
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No sympathy here.
I was taken advantage of by a family member when I was very young. I blocked it out for years -- almost lost my marriage because of it. When the flashbacks came I thought I was losing my mind. I feel no sympathy for anyone who does this to a child. Speaking from the otherside of it -- you may move on, but it stays with you forever. It is a club I would rather not be a part of.
No sympathy--sm
I have read the message from the poster below reminding us that the abusers are someones child, as well. That someone loves them too. Well, love them, yes. Condone what they did. NO.
It is just my opinion that these types of people CANNOT be *rehabilitated*. It is as much within them as homosexuality is within a homeosexual person. It is not something that is *learned*. It is bred within them and cannot be *cured*.
I was, and I will use the term that was inflicted on me, RAPED...40 years ago. It is still within me. Yes. I have *moved on* and do not think about it or dwell on it...but the after effects just never go away. It has affected every male/female relationship and some friendships that I have ever been involved in. I have given up on trying to have a relationship with anyone, as my psyche will just end up ruining it. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to ever hurt anyone else again. The person who inflicted himself on me has nothing to bear within his soul. He will never know the kind of pain he has inflicted upon others. He just gets his *satisfaction* and moves onto the next one..until he is caught. But even then, his *sentence* can never come anywhere close to what he has done to his victim. Ever.
so. no sympathy here. That one *event* changed my life forever, but not his.
Don’t need sympathy from you or anyone here
I said rudeness, saying a person not smart enough to ask something- this is, like I said, a forum. People can and do ask a lot of different things here- not that you have to fricking use the advice! Not that you take the advice always! But, people sometimes have similar things happen in their lives. That is what I am saying. No sense in people being suck jerks!
You have all my sympathy ! Been there, done that. nm
x
Now I will give you my sympathy as you did for me
the other day as my baby Kitty-Kat was dying. I really feel your sorry.
not a sympathy card...
Just a congrats on your new baby and friendship, etc... No, sympathy on behalf of the baby would be totally out of order. The baby is fine except for a common foot deformity. It is correctable. No she needs a pick me up card. Something to brighten her day.
Thanks for the advice and sympathy.
It's not just the pain, but have you also had such trouble procrastinating, or when you get started, cannot keep concentration? Combine all three, and heavens it is hard to get through a day. I am a bit better today compared with yesterday, thank God.
I will be sure to try the flax oil and taurine supplement you suggested, "MT also in NC." Thanks so much.
Not looking for sympathy, in fact
I figure to get the opposite! Doesn't matter! I'm a smoker ... yeah that's right, a dirty low life scum of the earth polluting your air smoker! One of the few little pleasure I have in life. When the price of cigarettes went sky high, we started "rolling our own". It was a lot cheaper, for a while. The price of the tobacco went up, but still much cheaper than cigarettes. Well today, DH was informed at or local tobacco store, that because of a new tax hike, it will go from $9.14 a can to over $20.00 by April 1st? Ok. I'm done, let the stoning begin...
Do you have sympathy for child molesters?
Can they be rehabilitated, or should they serve life sentences?
Many people seem to have such mixed feelings about child molesters, like “Well he’s always been such a nice guy,” (duh, how do you think they convince the kids to trust them?), or “They really can’t help it.”
I personally do not have mixed feelings. I believe they should serve life sentences for the torturing of these children. I believe that 99% (if not all) cannot be rehabilitated, they are child rapists for life. In many states molesters are only charged with a misdemeanor if they fail to register as a child molester. This is unacceptable.
Please write your senators and governor and urge them to fund the ADAM WALSH ACT, which will make failure to register a FELONY and help make consistent and uniform laws for ALL STATES. Most of these rapists are not dumb and take advantage of the vast differences in state laws, hopping from state to state trying to find the most lenient laws.
The link below will take you to oprah.com to download a prewritten letter that can be sent to your representatives and links to their addresses. It took me less than 2 minutes to print all the information out, and it could help change our country.
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200702/20070221/slide_20070221_284_118.jhtml
It is estimated that 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of every 10 boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 18. Over 260,000 children are abducted each year in America. PLEASE DO YOUR PART TO HELP.
I just wanted to send my sympathy your way...
May you find comfort in the Lord.
Sympathy cards are so inadequate sm
Maybe the people who did not give you cards had a difficult time finding something and just didn't get one at all because of that. I spent a great deal of time at the store yesterday looking through cards to give a friend who just lost her 7-year-old son. They all say basically the same thing and none of them say the right thing because there is no card in the world that will bring a loved one back. In the end, I did pick one out to give the family but still feel it is woefully inadequate to express how my heart aches for them and their loss.
Need help on what to write on sympathy card for baby SM
My friends just lost a baby to SIDS. The funeral is tomorrow. Unfortunately I can't make it, but I'm sending a sympathy plant/flowers. I'm at a total loss for words. What should I write on the card? Appreciate any input.
I was just saying I think it would be out of line also to send her a sympathy card...
I AM leaving her alone. I am just asking for other insight since I don't understand this. Like have other people done this. I am not pushy. If I were pushy I would keep calling and asking to speak with her or go over. I am respecting her wishes. I haven't been over because she said she doesn't want anyone over. How am I pushy?
How important is it to you to receive a sympathy card
How important is it for you to receive a sympathy card? I know this has been quite a long time now (3 years), but still bothers me. My mom died 3 years ago and I received only 3 cards. One from my DH's aunt & uncle and my best friend sent me 2 cards. Nobody else sent me a card. My MIL, BIL (3 of them - all married), SIL, co-workers (8 of them), people in my quilting guild that I've been quilting with for years and years. None of them. I went back for the funeral and listed to my sister and aunt tell each other about how many cards they got and how much they were loved by their friends (they made it into a joke as to who was more loved by who got more cards :-) My sister got about 18 or 20 cards and my aunt got about 30. They said they were sure when I got back I'd have many cards waiting for me (I flew back 2 days after hearing of my moms death). My sister even offered me some of her cards. I came home and had just the 3 cards. My best friend also send me some "cheering up gifts". But still nothing from anyone. I never said anything to DH but it bothered and still does bother me that people thought so little of me than to send me a card letting me know they were thinking about me. The worst thing was that I always sent them birthday, anniversary, and sympathy cards to them. I even would send them sympathy cards when their pets died.
Well I'm over it, but every once in awhile I think about it and it just saddens me. So now I don't send any of them any cards for anything. Just wondered if it bothers other people like it did me.
Dating sympathy (from married person)
I would hate to go back to dating. I've been married 18 years but I do remember what single life and dating were like.
The majority of them were creeps for one reason or another (especially the one going to law school - I got my first clue when I saw a sticker inside his car - his last name is also an occupation and the sticker said _________ know all the right strokes). (eye roll)
I mentioned in another post that I had moved into an apt. with my boyfriend of about a year, and 3 weeks later, he left me for his ex-wife.
At that point, I swore off of men. I figured I'd just live in the same apartment and go to work at the hospital 5 days a week for the rest of my life. That's when my husband walked into my life.
I had first met him in 1985 when, after graduating high school, I went to work at McDonald's. He was a swing manager, 2 years older and so darned handsome. We dated for quite awhile but it wasn't exclusive. He then joined the navy and got married. Three years later, his ex told him she needed to get a life and filed for divorce.
About 3 months prior to this, I swore off men for good. Then, one day, I was working a Saturday at the hospital (I think it was to make up for the day I missed when I had a diagnostic laparoscopy - yeah, it was stupid going back to work the day after you have surgery). I got a phone call from my mom, asking me if I remembered such and such. My husband's sister had called my parents' house but my mom didn't want to give out info, so she called and gave the info to me. I called his sister and we gabbed. I told her I remembered her and definitely remembered him. She asked me to meet her and her boyfriend at a bar along with my (future) husband. Well, I said "what the heck". I agreed to go.
Now, this is 3 days status post a laparoscopy and they weren't as good about getting the CO2 out back in 1990 as they are today and that day, I had gas so bad, I probably could have filled up my gas tank 3 times over. I spent almost the entire date squeezing my cheeks together (thankfully we weren't dancing or doing other physical things - LOL). I still had a really good time but was relieved when I left his house. I lived about 10 minutes away and I swear, I must have passed gas the entire ride home.
He knows all about it now. Heck, I can't remember the last time I even closed the door to the bathroom. We have no kids and if I do close the door, all 3 pugs sit outside and scratch the door, whine and cry. I gave up. I'm sometimes even "lucky" enough to have one of them on my lap while I'm going.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is love/good relationships seem to come when you least expect them. When I pursued dating or had someone fix me up, or met a guy in a bar or whatever, it never ended well. Nowadays, how do you know if you're supposed to pay half for the date?
Like I said, I feel for you guys. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow, I think I'd remain single the rest of my life.
Good luck to all of you and God bless!
Depends if it is long with pregnant pause um no. If it is long and juicy like an op YEP! Short ones
x
I just got back from buying a sympathy card for my brother's MIL, glad I did now. nm
x
I had it during my pregnancy a long, long time ago. Husband
aa
How long is too long to wait for Pap results?
This is a follow up Pap for an abnormal one a few months back. I have waited for the results for over a month and have called the office once. Any advised about being a patient patient - LOL. Its hard when your in this business, I think anyway, not to be more aggressive about stuff like this.
IMO a card would not be out of order at all. Except a sympathy card, of course.
I totally agree a sympathy card wouldn't quite be the thing, but it sounded to me that the original poster of that idea didn't mean a sympathy card like one for death. I think sympathy in the sense of "hey, you had a rough time of it with this birth, and maybe things haven't been the way you imagined, but know that I'm thinking of you and I'm here if and when you need me."
I got PPD when my breastfeeding relationship didn't go right, following a birth plan that went seriously awry, and the reality of a fussy, picky baby instead of the happy, sleeping one that I had imagined.
I *did* spend a lot of time on the phone, but then everybody's different. I would have loved to get a cheerful card from a friend, however. Does anybody NOT like a card?
How long?
Crap, havent heard- 1 hour this week or 2 like last week? Thanks
as long as a dog
is in its carrying bag, he is in his space, not yours. Some dogs are sooo tiny, it is not even noticeable. I know of people who use doggie strollers for such places. Frankly, I am leery of people who have this kind of attitude.
I don't know what took me so long.
You can actucally understand the words and there is a definite meaning to the song. Although, when I put country on my hubby and kids say "my ears are bleeding". Oh well, I work for an ENT, I can help them out. LOL
Wonder how long this goes on. nm
:
In the long run they say it's the same or
possibly cheaper to sod. But yes, the initial cost is a little scary compared to the first treatment with seed. But seeding can be never-ending, especially if you don't water enough. We should have done this in the fall, but that's when our dog was so ill.
But not for long
The poster below really gave some good advice. The behavior she describes is "him" to a T. I actually had almost forgotten about him until the Lacy Peterson story came out. Scott Peterson looked so much like him it creeped me out. Good luck.
Thank you so much - it's gone on so long (sm)
What are the traits of a passive-aggressive person?
I do believe my weight is a symptom of my marriage. It all started right from the beginning - I was fairly attractive back then and got asked out by men all the time. Yet right after I got married, there was this weekly lunch with his coworkers where all the guys and their wives/girlfriends met for lunch - he told me that I could not go because, "I'm not exactly proud of you." I don't know why I stayed at that point - there were no children involved yet - but I just felt like I had to try to make it work.
how long has it been
that she has cancer? She is probably trying to give you comfort as you give her. She is a sweetie.
so, how long did it take and
does he have to continue the medication to keep away the urge?
I went through this myself not too long ago -sm
Definitely keep up the salt water gargles. I used warm water with mine. Something that gave me nearly instant relief was Chloraseptic Spray. Hope you feel better soon!! 
How long does it normally take to get
labs processed? Dr's office took lots of blood this morning to check everything, glucose, lipids, etc and said she'd call as soon as the results come in. What's a "reasonable" amount of time to wait?
How long have you had the cat?
xx
this is long
I went through this with my son, who is now 24 and drug free. Take your daughter to therapy, and anything else you feel necessary, if for no other reason than to assure yourself you have done everything you can. Try getting together with the parents of some of her "friends," (she doesn't have to know you do) and just try to keep one step ahead of her. I used to look around my son's room to see what I could find, any pot - I threw it away. You just have to keep telling her, you are not the enemy, you are on her side. It is very hard to go through, I know, but they do come out the other end and you have your child back.
How long has this been going on?
How long has your mother had this type of behavior. It sounds like these symptoms; inappropriate behavior, saying things without thinking about them first, might be a signal she has some sort of neurologic problem or the onset of a form of dementia going on. You might notice if your mother has been forgetting things lately, seems detached. If this is not her regular personality, and this is something new for her, then I would gently talk with her and ask her if she is worried, under pressure, or sees anything wrong with how she acts. She might have to see her doctor. My mother exhibited these signs and symptoms around age 60, and then later was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. However, if her memory is good, she is coping with daily life and is able to handle things on her own, she needs a wakeup call. Her behavior in front of your daughter is inappropriate.
ALL OF THE ABOVE...sry a bit long lol
My children and I have been "cleaning toys" if you will and weeding out clothes to give away on freecycle. We put 3 bags of toys and 1 bag of clothes out there and they went to a very deserving grandma and grandpa who just took in their 4 & 6 year old grandsons. I am trying to teach my boys that it is not all about the gifts you receive, they are 3 & 9 so it is a bit hard to do with all the commercials and my 3yo wanting every last thing he sees. I let them decorate the tree after I put the lights on and they have a blast. We celebrate the birth of Jesus and attend church. First on Christmas morning we discuss the meaning of Christmas and the birth of Jesus and they enjoy going through our boooks we have about that as well.
I think so.....but it was so long ago- nm
xx
as long as they get it right
I've seen people point to the general area, or to the labia, & call that the vagina. It's almost worse than calling it a peepee or a muffmuff or a kitty.
How long ago was that and
how old were you then?
For someone who is on her feet all day long
how about a gift cert for a pedicure. She would get a foot massage, pedicure, and a back massage if they have those magic finger chairs.
As long as you have an income
As long as you have an income you file. Over 70 is for social security where you can earn as much as you want and still collect your full SS. Boy is that was true all of the rich would be lying about their ages so that they did not have to pay taxes.
wow, what a mess to go through for so long!
The reason for having to file CS orders against both is that my GD gets a small welfare check each month, Medicaid coverage and WIC (for now and free school lunches later). All CS attempts/costs are handled by the state agency, not a private attorney. They now have an interstate agreement that is supposed to be more efficient, but hey, that is their ball of wax. Any money they collect goes to the state first to repay the aid my GD gets, along with all the associated collection fees...so I really am not holding my breath (might pass out! lol) on EVER seeing any money. Neither of them can ever have custody of the child again due to the laws in my state, so what I have is the next best thing to adoption, plus GD gets the aid. So, I'll let the state do their thing - they are rated very high on the list of collecting CS as compared to other states - and now that I'm done with court appearances, I will just raise my little one and let those that need to worry do it for me :)
Thanks for your support and advice!
If you have been seeing the same stylist for a long
time, then I don't think he/she should put this new charge on you. I would tell him/her that you are not too happy with the price increase since you have been a loyal customer and let her know that in all honesty your hair is short and does not require the cumbersome task of drying long locks. Ask him/her to recommend a new stylist that does not charge as much at another salon or even within that salon itself. I'm sure you could work something out. In our area, the stylist rents the chair, so the increase is put forth by the stylist and is not a salon-wide increase, but there are salons where the stylist charges more because they have gone to school and are really "up on things", new trends, etc. Another thing to consider if the price has to be is to not go as often. After you've paid your $60.00, explain to the scheduler that you will have to wait an extra 2-3 weeks before you come back for another cut. 
How Long Have You Been Married?
My hubby did that after we were married about a year or so. He just liked my stuff, i.e., lotions, body wash, etc...He was my Ken doll; I would "dress him up," fix his unruly, naturally curly hair, buy his shaving cream and cologne, etc...Since we would shower together, he would wash with what I washed with (usually Sun-Ripened Raspberry!) and if I took a shower before him, he would yell and ask where my body wash was. Before we got together, he washed his body with shampoo instead of soap/body wash. Men like to do that for some reason.
However, since that started soon after being married, I didn't think it was worrisome; just cute.
I, personally, wouldn't worry, but I don't know your husband.
She will be tossed before too long, maybe
next week. She is really horrible and she has this ain't I cute, humm, sorta like this person who left tonight, see I have forgotten her name already. Her voice, I agree, is the pits. Melinda is gonna be hard to beat. Lakisha better step it up. Love both of them, huge, powerful voices.
Lets see if this is as long as I think it is - sm
3rd grade - Eddie Milton (my first crush)
9th grade - Bryan Rowden ( 9 months)
10th grade - Bill Rossiter (3 months)-- 2 years old and had a car-- parents did not like that!
11th grade - Dan Machonis (my first time in "love" - 3 months)
Dan Nichols (6 months)
12th grade I played the field a bit - Brad Feldman - 2 weeks; Pat Hurley 1-week; Mike Pastore (my 2nd "love")- 2.5 months (found out he had a kid and couldn't deal with me and the other girl--first time I was not upset about break up though as he took the girl to court and got full custody of his 9-month old daughter and took care of her after that, I admired him for doing that.
After graduation -
Bill Schatzman 2.5 months (summer before college)
Denis Sweeney - 2 years (first and second year of college)
Took a break from guys the rest of college-2 years-and concentrated on grades.
After college:
Bill ___ (forget) (2 months)
Chris Nicholson (3 months)
Ed Harvey - 5 years
Jerry Nicolini - 2 years
then Jim, my DH now of 11 years.
--- what is weird is in my HS years I broke up with most of the guys, but after that just about every guy I went out with cheated and hence the break-up. Oh well.
As long as the dog is controlled..
As long as the dog is controlled and not getting hair in my food, I don't care. We love going to Petsmart with our dog but she's a lab and I wouldn't ever take her into other stores where she isn't allowed.
I have had migraines for as long as I
can remember. Use to get them really bad as a child. Most of them were due to sinus problems and my mother gave me Anacin back then, put me to bed, and I generally slept it off. We did not no they were migraines back then. My counselor in high school said I needed a psychiatrist. However, I still get them often. My daughter, who is now 23, started having them at about age 5. I just gave her tylenol and put her to bed with a cold compress on her head. I am soooooo sorry for your little one. I truly feel for her.
If you live long enough, you will get to where
you do not feel like you have to give and by that I mean anything, ever. I give what I want to the person, charity, whatever I want to give to. No one should expect me to do something. I give from my heart and when and where I want. I know how to say yes and no.
See VERY long message
Is this the first house you are looking at? If so, absolutely do not buy this house without having many others to compare. This is a buyer's market - you have the advantage, bid low. Bid REALLY low. They can refuse the offer or they will counter offer. The longer the house sits this summer, the better your advantage. Find out how long it's been on the market versus how long others in the same area were. Compare sale prices of comparable homes in the neighborhood to this home.
From the area you describe, is this what you are willing to live amongst? If the chicken people have a rooster, you'll be listening to that all the time. If the area is "tired" looking, this will lower your property value, lower your property taxes, and lower your resale value. A home for sale can only bring in what the neighborhood is worth. Nothing is forever, and you will eventually be selling that house some day. You want to buy in an area where you will make money years down the road rather than lose on your investment.
An abandoned house with sheep in the yard? Say Joe Schmo somehow acquires the abandoned house, gives the sheep to a wool factory, tears down the house and puts up a car wash. That OK with you? Check out the zoning in the neighborhood. If there is an abandoned house with sheep, there are no restrictive covenants and DH should not have a problem with farm equipment, but go to town hall and find out. Do kids hang out in the abandoned house?
What the town has assessed the house for and what it sells for are two different entities. Again, it's worth what the neighborhood is worth, not what town hall determines it's worth - the town's assessed value is lower than the sale value 90% of the time.
Drive through the neighborhood on weekends, nights, all times of day. See what's going on in the neighborhood. Wild parties in the front yard? Kids all over the place? Quiet older neighbors? It's all what you are willing to live with.
By all means get PROOF of what utilities cost: electric, heat, water. Do not trust the real estate agent or owner to tell you. What you find out though is a variable. You may like the heat on 68 degrees in the winter, they may put it on 60. You could consider using a buyer's agent if you are new to all this. They work for YOU, not the seller. They negotiate on YOUR behalf. You usually pay them at the closing.
How old is the roof? How many layers of shingles on the roof? How old is the wiring, heating system, the pipes, and appliances? If there's a furnace, check out the age of it, records of it being maintained, check the filter yourself and see if it was ever changed. How old is the hot water heater and is it rented or owned? Is this a gas/oil/propane house? Is the house insulated and if so, with what? Is there an attic? Are there ridge vents in the attic or any other type of ventilation?
How old are the windows? Do they leak? Look for signs of water damage around them.
Check out the bathroom - ventilation? Ceiling fan? Window? Flush the toilet. Does it flush? Do you have to flush 3 times before a piece of toilet paper disappears? Check out the water pressure. Do the faucets drip? Are there stains around the drains?
Open closets, doors, drawers. Don't laugh: bring a level and use it. Put it on the walls, the floors, the ceilings.
Is the basement cinder block/poured cement? Dirt floor? Is there ventilation in the basement? Is it damp? Are the joists "punky" - can you stick an ink pen in the wood? What's holding up the first floor? Lolly columns? Is the main carrying beam bowed? Bring a flashlight, look for mold/mildew. When you are in the basement, look for water lines on the foundation. Are belongings up on pallets? When you are down there, look up. Check out how the wiring is hung. Does it look new? Are they frayed? Fuses or circuit breakers? Look around the electric box for singe marks. Direct access from basement to outside? Bulkhead?
Your state may require a radon test at the home owner's expense. Tricky situation. They put the test canisters in the basement, you leave, they open the windows, put a fan on, etc, and wham: perfect test results. There may be some type of test where that can't happen - I'm not sure on that.
You don't live in the northeast because you can't find land for the price you said this house is, so are there termites/powder post beetles/carpenter ants? All can cause havoc.
Septic or town sewer? Well or town water?
Is the house in a flood zone where you are required to buy flood insurance from your lender, if you are using a lender?
Carpets are cosmetic, don't even factor that in unless that is the only thing you can find wrong. Gutters are the least of your problems. You don't need gutters to live in the house. If you do, they are relatively cheap and easy to install. Save it for later. A handyman can put them up for a reasonable price.
A MUST is a home inspector that YOU hire, not one the real estate agent recommends (conflict of interest big time). Pay the money to have a professional look at the building. A home inspection is worth its weight in gold. He will find a multitude of things wrong. I had one that pointed out the bowing of a foundation wall that you could only see when you placed the side of your face against the wall and looked down the length of it with one eye closed. You want the structural integrity of the house determined. Pick the most expensive or the most important things the inspector finds that matter to you and that is your negotiating factor when the time comes. Home inspectors are not used until after an offer has been made and accepted. You then negotiate the final price based on his findings.
There are very few perfect 'used' homes. An inspector should point out everything I've mentioned, and then some. The key is you need a very reputable inspector. They must be licensed - check them out before you hire. Ask for references. Ask the town's building inspector to recommend someone. Make sure it isn't his brother-in-law.
Buying a house is a huge undertaking, but if you are well educated in the process, have the help of an inspector, and buy with your head not your heart, you will do well. Think it through, don't rush. The last thing you want is a money pit or the neighborhood from the Land of Satan. Look past any messes and clutter, though that's a good indication as to how they have maintained the home. Look past paint and light fixtures. Cosmetic fixtures should not even be considered. Those are things you can do little by little if need be. For every one house you fall in love with, there are 5 more that will come along. Seller's real estate agents are scary. You have to play the game, show them you know what you are doing otherwise they will walk over you. It's scary, but it's exciting at the same time. Wait until you have to sell a house...now THERE is a nightmare!
I wish you all the luck!
How long until the divorce comes
through??
I can't believe he'd do that. Men. Just wait till she puts Ex-Lax in his brownie right before his big presentation at work.
I think according to how long you have been married
your husband might be responsible for carrying your insurance further OR if you have been on his insurance and have hepatitis C, you can still get insurance with another because insurance can be portable. A new company should not turn you down because of a preexisting condition. My daughter fits into this category and I first had Cobra on her until she went to work (early 20s) and now she has her own insurance at her job. It can be done.
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