my husband is in the process right now
Posted By: (sm) on 2009-02-01
In Reply to: Creating your own web store sm - sm
He started trying to set one up using Yahoo site builder, but he had some trouble with it not making updates properly (maybe just him, as he has no experience with this, not sure), but then a friend that he works with told him about www.homestead.com and he is getting the domain name he had at Yahoo switched over now. They offer a 30-day free trial, and then I think it is a pretty low monthly charge afterwards. Good luck?
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We are in the process of listing...sm
a home for sale. Want to make sure I put the listing on as many low-cost websites as I can. It's a long story why we are not on the multiple listing yet. I've listed the house on craigslist and a couple of other classifieds/real estate sites. Anyone have any suggestions for where else might be a good place on the net to post the listing. Working on the free sites first and then will consider which of the paid sites are the wisest choices. If you've ever looked for real estate online, where did you search most often or first?
It can be a drawn-out process, but here are some
Santa Clara Valley Humane Society:
How Do I Introduce A New Cat To My Presently Owned Cat?
Bringing home an additional cat can be a very exciting event for us humans, however it can be very traumatic for all felines involved. It can end in disaster if not approached carefully! By using the following guidelines below, you can make that transition much easier and have a greater chance at successfully integrating an additional feline into your household.
Pay lots of attention to your existing cat throughout the following procedure, including daily exercise (try a cat aerobics or cat dancer toy). This will help your old cat feel more secure that someone else isn't going to take away your affection.
Have definite, coinciding feeding times for both cats.
Do not at any time physically hold the cats and put them face to face. That is a surefire way to stimulate aggression! Cats are not very forgiving either. If they are started out on the wrong foot, it is very difficult to undo the damage.
Always provide an additional litterbox in a different location. If you have more than two cats, you will need to provide at least one box per cat. This is to prevent territorial disputes over this very important resource. Remember to clean the boxes daily to encourage correct litterbox habits.
STEP ONE: Confine the New Cat to it's own small room.
This is to be your new cat’s "playpen" and safety area. A bathroom, small office or small bedroom where your existing cat normally does not "hang out" are ideal locations for your new cat’s room.
Put a litterbox, bed, food, water, scratching post and toys in the new cat’s room. This special room accomplishes several things. One, it decreases the chances of spreading any possible diseases your new cat may be carrying (remember to keep your new cat confined for approximately ten days even if you are able to complete the following steps in a lesser time period). Two, it helps your new cat get used to the smells, sounds and you, without having to confront a "hostile" greeting party (your existing cat).
Provide your existing cat with his own litterbox, bed, toys, etc. in a different area of the house. He may go the room of your new cat, sniff under the door, hiss and yell but just ignore him when he does so. Do not punish him in any way for hissing or growling at this point. Just walk away from him. Give him attention when he is calm.
STEP TWO: Use Scented Food Dishes
After your new cat has been confined for several days and is not hiding from you or acting nervous, take a small wash cloth, rub it on your new cat and then place it under your "old" cat’s food dish just before feeding time. Now do the opposite for the new cat. If either cat is reluctant to eat, try adding something really special to the cat’s bowl to entice him to eat. (Or put the wash cloth at a distance from his bowl were he will eat quietly. Gradually over the next few days, bring the wash cloth closer and closer until you can finally put it under his dish without any problems.)
Repeat at each feeding (always reviving the scent by rubbing on the opposite cat) until each cat eats calmly with no hesitation, hissing or growling. The more feedings you have per day, the faster the process will go. Just feed smaller amounts spread out over the day. Try to do at least two feedings per day, better yet three or more.
The successful completion of this step may take up to two weeks in some cats or as little as four days with others. In any case, do not move on until each cat is relaxed.
STEP THREE: Use close feedings.
After the successful completion of step three, place each cat’s dish on respective sides of the newcomer’s room. Again, feed definite meals to each cat, at the same time, on each side of their door. You do not need to add the scented cloth under the dish any longer.
Repeat this process until BOTH cats are acting normal; no hesitation to eat, no hissing, growling, spitting etc. then go on to step four.
You can also help this process along by playing daily with each cat under the door with a cat aerobics toy (a rubber pom-pom looking spider on a wire). In the process of playing they will put their paws under the door for the other to see and smell. This may help to engage them in play under the door with each other as well.
STEP FOUR: Play the switch game
If you are starting this step, check to make sure you have had your new cat at least ten days. If it has not been at least ten days, stay on step three until then. Again, this is for concerns of spreading possible disease. If it is over ten days and you are still not at this step, do not worry! Go at your cat’s pace. Your cat will tell you to move on to the next step by acting relaxed and normal.
Step four puts the new cat’s scent all over the territory of your existing cat but without an actual physical confrontation. This is an important step so do not skip it!
Confine your old cat to a comfortable room with a litterbox and some of his favorite food. Let the new cat out to explore by just opening the door to his room. Do not carry him out; as we want him to learn the route to and from his room on his own four feet. Let him wander around for several hours under supervision. Play with him and encourage him to relax. Next, put him away in his room and let your "old" cat out. Your existing cat may walk around the house, sniffing, hissing or growling as he can now certainly smell that "intruder" in all parts of HIS house. That is OK. Let him walk around and act grumpy. Just ignore him or try to get him to play with you to help relax him.
Repeat the switch game daily until BOTH cats are acting normal and are relaxed.
STEP FIVE: Limited Contact
After successful completion of step four, start this next step by putting your new cat back into his safe room. This process will allow the cats to see each other but not make physical contact.
Stack two 36" high-tension gates (baby gates) in the newcomer’s doorway, but with about two inches left at the very bottom. (Enough to get a paw under but not a head.) Gates are available at pet stores, children’s specialty stores or department stores. Or trying borrowing some from your friends.
If you have reason to believe that either cat will get over the gates then use two hard plastic doorstops. Jam the door of the room with the stops one on each side with the door cracked open only two to three inches. Make sure that neither cat can fit his head through the opening. Check that the door is secured and will not suddenly pop open or slam shut if a cat body slams against the door aggressively. They should be able to whack each other with their paws and investigate without full body contact. Again, encourage the cats to play through the door by using a cat aerobics toy put through the opening.
Continue the feeding ritual from step four above but with each cat still on their respective side of the baby gates or jammed door. When you are not home or can not supervise at least peripherally, close the door. Hissing, growling, posturing should be virtually at nil before you continue on to step six.
STEP SIX: Let them meet casually
After the successful completion of ALL the steps above, you are in great shape to now just let the cats casually find each other in the household.
Start first by heavily exercising EACH cat separately, especially if one animal is young and very playful. If one animal wants to play so badly that he harasses the other cat, they can become enemies quite quickly.
Next, get each cat’s food dish ready with something really good, like some bits of tuna or a tablespoon of wet food. Just before feeding time, leave the new cat’s door open or take down the stacked baby gates. Let the cats casually find each other and then feed them a meal, so they are eating about one foot away from each other.
Next, go ahead and get out a cat toy and play with the cats together. The whole process of step six is designed to associate something really pleasant with having this other cat around.
Some cats may hide; there may be some initial hissing or growling. That is OK. Let them work it out as long as no one is launching a full out physical attack on the other. Keep trying to feed them close together as well as play their favorite games with them.
Final Comments
Do not let one cat become a bully.
If one cat always seems to be the aggressor, supervise any cat interaction. Be ready with a squirt bottle set on a straight stream to break up any cat fights. Just make sure it is harassment and not play! Do not leave the cats together unsupervised if you are having this bully problem. Put the bully into confinement when you can not watch them.
Try to exercise the aggressor more heavily before they are allowed to interact.
This often takes off the "edge" and makes the aggressor more agreeable. The disagreeable one can also wear a harness dragging a six-foot leash under supervision. The harness is so you can quickly remove him from the situation. Again try to associate something positive with having the other cat around, like special treats or play.
IMPORTANT:
If you have not carefully followed the guidelines above, go back to the beginning and start over. Be warned that the introduction may take up to three times as long on the second go around as you have to go back and try to repair that "bad first impression." To introduce any new animal into your household takes a lot of time and patience. It can go smoothly if you take your time and follow the steps above. But don’t expect things to be perfect overnight or try to rush things as you may end up with archenemies instead of best friends! We wish you purrfect luck!
These guidelines are from the Humane Society of Santa Clara Valley
Try switching the food and see what happens. Process of
s
In the process of tearing up our old carpet
carpet to reveal hardwood floors and plan to sand ourselves - a huge project I am told - but sweat equity. You put down beautiful vinyl tile squares on our old linoleum which was over hardwood - I wish we had remodeled the kitchen ourselves - we got taken big time - so do yourself if you can. Congrats lady and best of luck!!
I use checks, but have streamlined the process - sm
by filling out everything but the amount (date, signature, phone number) on the check, & entering all info. into my check register except the amount, before even leaving for the store. Check is torn out, and in my wallet where I can just pull it out, write in the total, hand it to the cashier, and take off as soon as she gives me the receipt.
Nowadays their computer/cash machine setup takes only seconds to verify the check. I usually wait to fill in the amount in the check register until I get home.
It's weird, but often I find it takes longer to pay with money than it does with a check. (Especially if I have a bunch of change and I'm trying to pay with the exact amount.) That seems to freak people out in line even more than using a check.
Also, nowadays the checker ends up doing the bagging, too (seems the stores have cut WAY back on hiring baggers.) So as he or she finishes each bag, I put it in the cart from where I'm standing, so he or she doesn't have to walk around the counter to do it. And I grab things like milk jugs, big 12-pack soft-drink cartons, cat litter, and other big things that don't really need a bag.
Anyway, I find doing just those few things seems to get me through the line pretty fast.
Payment process was restructured.
x
I am having it done via lap assisted vaginal way, using a new process called
Robotix. If all goes well, supposed to be a day surgery, first thing in the morning and if I feel up to it, I may be able to come home same day in the afternoon, which is what I am hoping for.
My understanding from my attorney is that during the divorce process,
from the time I file until the time it is final, the judge can issue an order forcing him to leave until it is final and a decision is made about splitting the property.
He takes lithium for his bipolar disorder, but yesterday when he was released from jail, he went to the ER because he was apparently vomiting profusely and was found to have lithium toxicity. So now he's not taking his lithium and I'm sure he will use this as an excuse to not take it anymore.
Have you gone through the Pell, FASA, PHEAA process yet? Some of those loans are
I would be persistent about speaking with a financial counselor. Or, perhaps, stop in your local branch bank and ask to speak to someone. Maybe they can offer some assitance; monetarily or otherwise.
Best of Luck to you.
There are times I would love to stop the growing process
but I look at that as denying my children the incredible happiesses I have experienced, such as college, marriage, children, etc. and that makes it a bit easier.
you can give the people the facts, but the decision making process should be left to the people
This is what our country is founded on FREEDOM OF CHOICE! I'm laughing already; you are just as mortal as the rest of us, and don' even attempt to that you've never done anything in your lifetime that was unsafe or unhealthy. NOT gonna buy it.
Does your husband or significant other do this? Just now, at 7:30, my husband came home from sm
playing sports with a friend. After showering he comes downstairs naked and tries to start a conversation with me. My "office" is in the living room and he is standing in back of the couch so I can't see any private parts, just him without his shirt, but I can see enough to know he clearly is naked! I think he wants me to be amused or get turned on or something, but I'm not amused one bit. In fact, I keep working and basically ignore him.
Poor guy. I swear he thinks he's Vince Vaughn or something. I should at least smile at him but all I want to tell him is to put some clothes on! ugh!
My husband is the same way
Something about guys and their cars. I have no kids though and recently married so we still do some of our banking and bills separately by my choice. I thought he was being selfish too. So I got myself a 2nd part time job and I recently went out and bought a newer, bigger, fully loaded SUV and I don't let him use it! lol
My husband and I are doing it right now
and it is working, slowly but surely. After the first couple of things are paid off, its gets better and faster. We have a poster board with all our debt and we redo it every three months, and I must say that you see the debt going away. My hubbie cut all my credit cards up, and I was upset but in the scheme of things, it was the best. We only have one income and its working. Give it a try, I think you'll be surprised that it actually does work. My friend is also doing it, and their debt is disappearing also.
My husband and I did think of it. NM
x
What is your husband's take on that? nm
x
Go for it! I met my husband .....sm
2 months after his wife died from a 3 year bout with cancer and we're very happily married.
Good luck!!!
My husband always tries, although he just
doesn't necessarily have the same taste as me. It is a hit and miss with him, but he always tries. This year we did not exchange gifts (agreed upon ahead of time) because I got a new house and he got a new truck. We concentrated on the kids. The only gripe I really have is that he doesn't do much in the way of getting me gifts from the kids on Mother's Day, and he's not much of a card person, although I am.
He helped me clean all week though, did anything I asked pretty much, cleaned up all day today, etc.
Honestly though, I do not agree with the posts below about making a list. I think that a gift should come from the heart and that some thought should be put into it. Things that I just want, I go get them myself.
My husband and I have 2
roundtrip airfare tickets for anywhere in the US. I'm looking for an all-inclusive resort (room, meals, activities), but am having a hard time finding one. Can you help me out with this? Thanks!
My husband
used this for his leg pain due to fibromyalgia but had a very bad reaction to it so was not able to continue to use it. He found a natural supplement online that has helped. Best of luck!!
So, you would be okay with your husband
nm
This is what my husband (sm)
told me last night. I really hope that isn't what is going on. I am going to talk to her again about it again today. She has a cell phone (very near and dear to her heart!) I like for her to have it, so that I know she is okay when she isn't home, but since I now know that she is still smoking, I think I have very good reason to ground her. Hence, she won't be needing the cell phone.
Thanks for the input everyone.
My husband only uses
regular lotion, but he does like to take baths sometimes. He was glad when we moved and got a garden tub so he could soak. He doesn't go out of his way to use bubbles, but he will take one with me with bubbles.
Met my first husband when I was 5, LOL - sm
First crush was Greg. I met him when I was 5. We played together at church. We started "going together" when I was 13. We got married when I was 18. We got divorced when I was 32. Tried again several times. Finally called it quits when I was 37...sigh.
Then there was Stacy....we were together for two years.
Then there is Tommy, we have been together for three years - married for two years.
My husband was the one who
donated the sperm and had it washed, the doctor performed the IUI, and nature created twins. It was a WE effort in my case.
This is your husband
If there's one person in the world you should be honest with, it's your husband. Don't lie about this, this is BIG...just explain to him your feelings and if he loves you and you love him, you can work it out and make both of you happy. But lying WILL come back to bite you in the a$$...trust me, I know...good luck!
My husband was gay
We've been divorced for a while now, but it still hurts like crazy. I don't know anyone who has been through this. Is there anyone out there who's spouse came out to them?
My husband did!
He had to have surgery because otherwise the muscles would have atrophied. Because lifting was required for his job, he was out on disability for 4 months. However, soon afterward a radiologist I knew had it done, and he only took 1 day off and then was back at work, not complaining, and not taking strong pain killers. My hubby is a big guy, and it was hard on him, but he's able to work fine now. He has also had cervical spinal fusion, and the rotator cuff was worse for him, oddly enough.
Husband and I have dog and cat instead!
Kids...no thank you! Decided at around 12-13 or so that I didn't want any. I'm 30 now and haven't changed my mind and don't plan to.
I AM SO MAD AT HUSBAND
I am so mad with this man. Last night he made a comment that all I have to do on my job is sit on my A_ _ and stare at a computer screen. He thinks this job is cushy. I transcribe every foreign doctor known to man for 8-10 hours 5-6 days a week, achieve OVER my line counts and bring home more money than he does and I work from home. What in the world does he think gives him the right to talk down to me? Even though I love it, this is one of the most taxing jobs I have ever had in my life. The mental drain is incomprehensible at times. I was so mad when he came up with that, I would have thrown him out if he would have had anywhere else to go!
mad at husband
Do what I do..i put him in my chair with my own keyboard, a set of headphones and told him i would be back in 30 minutes. And I gave him one of my best enunciating docs to boot. Needless to say....no more sit on my a** comments any more. I put the son in the chair too. Good luck.
Which one, the husband or dog?
He, he!
What do you do when your husband says
He does not love you anymore after 10 years of marriage and 3 kids? He left once about 3 years ago, but came back saying he missed us and loved me and that he was just going through a tough time and he knew he was making a bad choice. I thought we were okay, not smart of me, then he started getting distant and grumpy all the time again, and he told me last night that he tried really hard these last 3 years, mostly for our kids sake and because he cares about me and does not want to leave me high and dry, but he does not love me and is not happy with me. He says we have nothing in common anymore, which we really didn't in the first place, but it was okay until recently.
I don't know what to do. All 3 kids are extremely close to their dad, and he loves them so much, but I feel I should move to where my parents are (next town 20 miles away) but it will be harder for him to see them and also rent is so much higher for housing there. I just feel like I want to be closer to my family because here, I have NO ONE. I moved here because it was his hometown and he was happy. I also have the kids in preschool here, again cheaper than in the town I want to go to. My son will be in first grade and needs speech therapy for developmental delay and I like the people who have been working with him as they know his history. Am I being selfish wanting to take them away from here? I am lost and don't know what to do. Thanks for listening.
What do you do when husband...
Ditto totally trose. Permanently CLOSE his door except when dealing with/talking about children. Work hard at your job, totally concentrate on YOUR life and family. God is your refuge..will keep you safe and won't lead you wrong. You are strong (else you wouldn't be an mtmomof3) ... you can do this. Will remember you in my prayers.
husband
he sounds like a pig... i say move on
My husband will be right over! LOL!
xx
Is my husband
Because I think we are married to the same guy. Here's my rule: I don't tell him everything, but when asked, I tell the truth. Except when I buy my son an $80 pair of shoes, I shave a few bucks off. Other than that I tell the truth. I know how you feel though. When he comes home if I hear squealing tires on the driveway or the door slams just right, I think, "Uh-oh. What did I do now?"
Is there anyone who has a husband...
like mine...he is an adult and acts like one, he respects what I do for a living, thanks me for working as hard as I do, would never expect me to do everything around the house without him helping out, and is generally a fabulous guy. Sounds like a lot of women are married to self-centered whiners who think THEIR job is the important one. I truly am blessed!
My husband...
I was going to post something similar to this...reading these threads about jerk husbands makes me sooo very grateful for mine. He's handsome, sexy, funny...works doggone hard for us so I can work PT, and still helps around the house in the evenings after work. Guess that's why I've kept him for 20 years---today!!!
Oh, did I mention he's the bestest dad ever (as our DS puts it)...I could go on and on, but I won't...I am sorry for those who are not blessed with a wonderful man, it truly is a gift!
why the MIL and not your husband?
You are going after the wrong person. Your husband should be beside you all the way 100%. It is his job to talk/deal with his family. If he doesn't or won't, you've got a bigger problem with him than with the outlaws.
Your husband should say something
You are to cleave to husband and wife. If the MIL is not going to handle the situation your husband should definately stand up for you and say if you dont show some respect to my wife stay away. I have a SIL that does not like me either because she married into the family first and thinks I stole some of her thunder, but thank goodness my husband stands up for me. The MIL probably wants to keep peace that is how mine is, so I would talk to your husband about getting the situation resolved. Some people can be so dumb to act that way. Good luck, hope things get better.
What did your husband say about it?
xx
ex-husband
Well, Pammy,
I think you would fit right in with me and my friends' "board." We meet once a week and "discuss things." We all share the blessing of an ex-husband except one. Maybe ex is just so blissfully happy he forgot to tell you, or maybe he is just TOO CHICKEN - you think. In any case, the "board" meets tomorrow night. I'll be thinking of you.
LOL! My husband said she was just doing her job. It was probably on sm
the paper! LOL
My husband became an RN at age 43.
He thought he was too old and not smart enough because he did poorly in school. Not true! He certainly wasn't the oldest in his classes. Go for it!
Well, it is for me because my husband
is a whiz at navigating, and he can't understand my problem AT ALL. My problem is not just at night - it's all the time. I never worried about it as a kid. I was just one of those passengers that paid no attention to how we got anywhere, but no bid deal when the city is laid out in a grid. Then we moved to the South, where there is no such thing as a logical grid, and instead of being able to see for long distances and get your bearings, you are hemmed in by trees. I love trees, but must they be so dense you can't see through them??
Oh, and if you're downtown you have to pay attention to which are one-way streets. What a nightmare for a navigationally challenged woman. I can hardly wait to have Magellan on my side. DH says this model can even adapt if you take a wrong turn. Yeah!
Husband gets mad
Send him back home to his mother and let her deal with him. I would show him the door. My husband has total respect for me and the fact that I work at home. He just told his 2 children that coming to our house for Christmas on Friday the 21st will not work and that they have to come Saturday after 3:00 p.m. because I work at home and that isn't fair to me to have a house full of children and grandchildren (all step by the way) while I'm trying to work. They live 2-1/2 hours away and will be staying overnight and we are celebrating our Christmas with his side of the family Sat/Sun before Christmas. He has never and better never, if he knows what's good for him, refer to me as a _itch. I'm always referred to as "baby" or "babe". He does a lot around the house, inside and out, to help me as do I because I am a very neat/clean person and like my entire house, cupboards and closets kept that way. He cleans up after himself and last but not least, he is not a "slob" in the bathroom. God love him.
Where's your husband?
Tell this kid to get out of your house. Don't let him back in until he learns some manners. Since he doesn't think he owes you and your husband any respect, let him get out there on his own and see how the world will treat him.
Don't ever let your 8-year-old go anywhere with him. Obviously, the stepson has no sense of responsibility.
You and your husband need to tell him together that your house is no longer his home, that he is not to plan on spending summer break at your house. If you want to continue helping him with college costs, okay, but he cannot be allowed to treat you, your son or your husband so hatefully. He's teaching your son to lie, cussing at you in front of your son - good grief, what are you waiting for?
The fact that he doesnt treat other people that way says he knows he can get by with the bad behavior - he's manipulating you and your husband. Don't let it happen anymore.
Ah okay - I bet my husband knows who she is. I don't get
a chance to watch much tv - maybe an hour or two a week but he watches it constantly while he is out of town. I will make mention of her to him. Thanks for the info!
Me too. I know everything about my husband.
Even his social security number!
Husband can't hug - ever - without it being...(sm)
sexual. Do any of them? I would sometimes just like for him to be affectionate and just show me that he loves me without grabbing any of my body parts - or forcing my hand onto his. He does this EVERY time. I have told him how it makes me feel but he keeps doing it. Do they all do this?
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