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lead in toys/Made in China...beware of Happy Meal toys

Posted By: QA girl on 2007-11-26
In Reply to:

I watched a special on CNN yesterday about lead content in toys. I did not realize by your child simply touching a toy and putting his fingers in his mouth he could be ingesting lead. The special included a segment on a nice family that lived in a brand new home with a 2 year old and 6 month old. They both tested positive for lead. A 2 year old!!!! Worried, I went to my boy's toybox this morning and it is AMAZING how many painted toys are from China. Most notably this includes happy meal toys. I haven't gotten through one toy box and already have a trash bag full of toys. Please, please go through your children's toys. Lead ingestion can lead to brain damage. Be paranoid. Throw away all of the made in China stuff. Christmas is just weeks away--they will be getting new stuff (hopefully stuff that is paint-free!).

Your best bet is to buy made in the USA toys but even safer toys are unpainted blocks, Legos and books. A good, safe place to look for toys is www.mindware.com.

pass this on!


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Free shipping on tons of toys on line at Toys R Us. nm
x
toys sm
my hubby and i have within the last two years gotten toys and use them on each other and it's a lot of fun!  maybe you and hubby can go "toy" shopping together, find him something.  i would guess, like one of the other posters said, he's probably thinking he's not doing his job good enough.  hope he opens up to new things for ya!
sex toys
My boyfriend has given me several over the years.  We both enjoy them.  I once bought one on line but when I actually saw it, it looked so scary, I called the company and they agreed to take it back and give me a refund.  It was still in the original wrapper so they trusted me.   I would say just don't use anything that scares you or makes you uncomfortable. 
toys
Slinkies

Lincoln Logs

Yo-Yos

Tinker Toys

Silly Putty

I love them all......
Toys, also
Hoola-Hoops
Toys...............
I have 5 cats. They'll usually try to sit in any box they find empty,even one their foot barely fits in...they'll make themselves fit!

Plastic bags! Yep, mine too! When they were babies, but now that they're 7 years old, they don't mess with them anymore.

One of our males thinks a leaf that made its way into the house is the best thing around. He'll bat at it and scatter it all over the house for hours until it gets lost under something.

All of ours are manx with the exception of one..... he's the only one with a tail....our senior citizen. The rest think his tail is a toy!!

Anything they can fold themselves up in is always a good hiding place so they can jump out at anything that goes by, including the dog. A drawer that's opened just a crack is tempting enough to make the effort to crawl in...the heck with the consequences of getting stuck!!

Two of them know how to open the bottom cabinets in the kitchen and think they're going to hide out.....we've had to put child locks on them but one of the males found a way to break it and get in anyway!
Not toys, but s/m
My kitty sticks her feet (hands?) in her bowl and licks them, instead of just drinking the water.  Too cute.
Toys for Tots
I believe it is the one run by troops collecting toys for underpriviledged kids at xmas.
and you could put some smaller toys in big pinata....

Sex toys - embarassing & anonymous
Hi - I'm serious - anonymous embarassing question for anonymous answers!  I am 39 years old and my husband recently found out that I have a sex toy I bought about a year ago.  He is furious and is acting like I am a really bad person.  I think these things are way more common than the thinks.  Just looking for opinions?
I call Target, WM, KB, Toys R Us...
Circuit City, Game Stop, Sears and Best Buy every day and have been for the past 3 weeks - no one has any in stock. They are really popular right now and when they do get them in stock, they sell out within minutes. I'm also signed up to receive emails from Toys R Us and KB Toys when they get them in stock online, but they too always sell out within minutes. It's just ridiculous how hard it is to get one of these. My parents are actually in central Texas this weekend and I'm hoping they'll be able to get one for me while they're there. ebay has them, but they're at least $100 over the normal price and right now I'm not willing to pay that. Oh, well. Hopefully, I'll be able to find one before Christmas.
I used to LOVE soap with toys in it.
I think I had one when I was little called Fuzzy Wuzzy--or maybe I don't remember.  (I'm 45 now.)  But what a great thing to recreate.
Last vent on obnoxious toys. LOL.

The LeapFrog Tag thingy.  I saw them at Wal-Mart and it looks like certain books work with it.  I saw the advertisement and thought it was neat until that crazy man in the lizard costume  or whatever it is insinuated that books are boring unless they can be used by that talking pen. I cannot figure out how that thing helps kids learn to read as it says it does.  It looks to me like that pen reads for them.  My 6-year-old is in first grade and they are trying to teach her to read by phonics.  So when she and I read together whenever she stumbles across a word I have her try to look at it and sound it out before I will give her an answer and most of the time she can.  I think I am just frustrated by that whole industry now anyway because I have had salespeople come to my door basically telling me that my kid is going to be a dumbazz if I don't buy their expensive junk....all the other kids have it and mine will be left out in the cold.  I guess I am not giving those electronics a chance.  I cannot see what they can do for my child that I cannot. 


my dog sneaks kids toys and
takes them to bed with her. Or if you leave work gloves outside, she'll run off with one that you may never find again, but so far, that's the extent of her damage. don't know how well i'd get over eating up my headsets...
Kitty's favorite toys!

So what are your kitty's FAVORITE toys?  


With mine, the store-bought toys usually get ignored, while she instead plays happily with the box the toy came in.    Strings are pretty much the Numero Uno toys for her.  And bags.  She spent this morning smugly sitting inside a clear plastic bag that had been a 12-pack of toilet paper, thinking I couldn't see her. 


Lately she's developed an huge liking for grocery twist-ties.  So recently I began making her "spiders" out of a couple twist-ties twisted together in the middle to form a body, and the ends of the ties are legs.  She goes NUTS with these, especially in the kitchen, since they scoot and skitter in a very lifelike manner when she bats them across the linoleum.  She also likes to grab the spider and zoom all over the house with it. 


Eventually she hides them, and I have to make her another.  I'm sure that someday if I ever move, I'll probably discover old twist-tie "spiders" in all sorts of unlikely places.



I got toys for the nieces and nephews. Did pretty
good.  Got Battleship w/a handheld electronic Battleship package for 8 bucks, a 20 pack of Hot Wheels race cars for 9 bucks, Barbie stable and horse for 23 bucks (two items), 4-Ever Best Friends for 11 bucks, My Little Pony Styling Pony for 9 bucks, and Pirates of the Caribbean PSP game for 39 bucks.  I also bought 3 beautiful Christmas sweaters for 12 bucks each.  I think I did pretty good.
I got tons of clothes and toys. I always hit Walmart,
Toys-R-Us and JC Pennys for those things. I also went to Pac Sun and got me some jeans (2 for less than the price of 1). I never go for electronics. I figure what you are trying to save for 1 item, you loose by missing out on all the other small things. I did get gaming things though, basically any electronics I do not have to stand in line for, like Walmart has you do. For instance, if you bought a PS2 game at Toys-R-Us, you get a wireless controller for 5 bucks, normally 20. I got a game and the controller for 10 bucks.
Buy one of those bathtubs and fill them up with bath toys sm
and baby towels, washcloths, Johnson & Johnson stuff, etc.

Or buy one of those dishwashwer tubs that fit into the dishwasher that holds nipples, pacifiers, etc and wrap that up in a baby bath towel with a big bow on it.
Get a basket and fill it up with onesies, socks, kits that include medicines, etc.

I love going to baby showers and creating unique gifts!
Severe warning about dangerous dog-toys!!

I came across this blog today on Craigslist:  http://www.thechaistory.blogspot.com/


And if you have a dog, it's a must-see.  It details what happened to a dog that was severely injured by a dog toy called a "Pimple Ball" made by Four Paws, Inc.  The dog ended up losing his tongue, and the pain he had to endure was excruciating. 


The dog's owner relates that the Four Paws Co. hasn't owned up to the fact that its toy is dangerous, and he's calling for a international boycott of Four Paws, Inc.  After watching his video links of his poor dog's suffering, even though I have cats, I plan to be sure I don't purchase ANYTHING from this company, andhopefully you won't either.



 


Lots of chewie toys, because puppies
like to chew.  And I have seen Springer Spaniel calendars at either Borders or Petco.
First question, do you have kids? Second, do they have small toys?...sm

If it is something solid like that, the Drano can't break it up.  In our case, it was the toilet when our kids were small with a Petey toy from McDonalds.  We tried plungers and eels, and finally took the toilet up, and there it was stuck in the curve of the drain. 


First, try a plunger and see if you can get it to break loose.  Yes it will kind of make a mess, and I recommend the 2.00 trip to Walmart to use a sanitary new plunger!  If that will not do it, try taking the trap off (the u-shaped piece of pipe).  Most pipes these days are plastic PVC so it should be pretty easy to loosen the fittings.  VERY, VERY IMPORTANT!  Shut both the hot and cold water valves off under the sink before doing anything!!  Yes again speaking from experience!  If the water lines come loose during this process, it makes a HUGE mess.  Whatever is plugging your sink up is probably trapped in there.  Yes it is kind of gross what sticks in your sink, but it is much cheaper (2.00 for the plunger) than calling the plumber.  If that still does not work, then call the plumber.  The problem may be underground roots from trees near the home or who knows what.  Hope this helps.


Aqua Dots toys contain poison - a warning.

Millions of toys recalled; contain 'date rape' drug


Two U.S. children went into comas after swallowing Chinese-made Aqua Dots found to contain a chemical that converts into 'date rape' drug when ingested.






WASHINGTON (AP) -- Millions of Chinese-made toys have been pulled from shelves in North America and Australia after scientists found they contain a chemical that converts into a powerful date rape drug when ingested. Two children in the United States and three in Australia were hospitalized after swallowing the beads.


With only seven weeks until Christmas, the recall is yet another blow to the toy industry - already bruised by a slew of recalls this past summer.



aqua_dots_recall1.03.jpg




Video








Cold
Child deaths have prompted FDA hearings on the safety of cold and cough medicines. CNN's Elizabeth Cohen reports





In the United States, the toy goes by the name Aqua Dots, a highly popular holiday toy distributed by Toronto-based Spin Master Toys. They are called Bindeez in Australia, where they were named toy of the year at an industry function earlier this year.


It could not immediately be learned whether Aqua Dots beads are made in the same factories as the Bindeez product. Both are sold by Australia-based Moose Enterprises.


The toy beads are sold in general merchandise stores and over the Internet for use in arts and crafts projects. They can be arranged into designs and fused together when sprayed with water.


Scientists say a chemical coating on the beads, when ingested, metabolizes into the so-called date rape drug gamma hydroxy butyrate. When eaten, the compound - made from common and easily available ingredients - can induce unconsciousness, seizures, drowsiness, coma and death.


Naren Gunja from Australia's Poisons Information Center said the drug's effect on children was "quite serious ... and potentially life-threatening."


The recall was announced by the Consumer Product Safety Commission on Wednesday several hours after published reports about the recall in Australia.



The two U.S. children who swallowed Aqua Dot beads went into nonresponsive comas, commission spokesman Scott Wolfson said Wednesday afternoon.


In Australia, the toys were ordered off store shelves on Tuesday when officials learned that a 2-year-old boy and a 10-year-old girl were hospitalized after swallowing the beads. A 19-month-old toddler also was being treated.


The news jolted the toy industry because Aqua Dots has been one of the few bright stars of the toy selling season, which, along with overall retailing, has gotten off to a sluggish start. The item, which had been heavily advertised, had appeared on many toy experts' list of must-have holiday toys, and toy sellers are now in the midst of canceling advertising and scrambling to figure out how to replace it.


Chris Byrne, a New York-based toy consultant, noted that the incidents could have been isolated, and Spin Master may be erring on the side of caution.


"This is something that they could not have foreseen. This is an extremely hot toy. ... It's a little scary," Byrne said.


In a statement, Toys "R" Us Inc., said that it issued on Tuesday a "stop sale" on the entire Spin Master Aqua Dots product line in its North American stores and on its Web site after it learned of the news. "We understand that Spin Master and U.S. regulatory authorities are investigating this product and we have asked Spin Master to fully explain what it believes happened," said the toy seller in a statement.


Meanwhile, a separate recall was announced for 405,000 children's products made in China, most of them toy cars, because of dangerous levels of lead.


The recall includes about 380,000 Pull-Back Action Toy Cars imported by Dollar General Merchandising Inc. of Goodlettsville, Tenn., and 7,500 Dragster and Funny Car toys imported by International Sourcing Ltd. of Springfield, Mo.


Four of the recalled products were imported by Schylling Associates Inc. of Rowley, Mass., including the items Duck Family Collectable Wind-Up Toy, Dizzy Ducks Music Box, "Robot 2000" collectable tin robot and Winnie-the-Pooh Spinning Top. The company recalled another 66,000 spinning tops Aug. 22.


Representatives from Schylling Associates Inc. were not immediately available for comment.


Wednesday's recalls include about 7,200 "Big Red" Wagons imported by Northern Tool & Equipment Co. of Burnsville, Minn. Totaling about 405,700, the recalled children's products all had excessive levels of lead in their surface paint.


Although no illnesses connected to the toy car recall have been reported, lead is toxic if ingested by young children. Children's products found to have more than 0.06 percent lead accessible to users are subject to a recall. Top



Note that AquaDots has been recalled. I went into a KB Toys and found one on
they couldn't be stocked and pulled them from the back.  I turned it in to the manager and asked him hadn't those been recalled and his eyes about popped out of his head and said that they had and thanks for catching it.
Lots of teething toys and crate training - sm
Get her a good book or a video on raising a puppy. They chew a lot with puppy teeth. Some breeds chew more than others, I had a husky that chewed a table leg, I have had a lab/shepard mix that basically ate a couch....which we ended up putting the dog in the powder room with a muzzle on during the day. Eventually we were able to unmuzzle the dog, after 2 years or so, as she got older and less destructive. Felt bad doing it but it was the only way not to have her eat the plumbing, baseboards, etc. They are also destructive when they are bored. If she leaves the dog alone constantly it is going to get into mischief. A dog is a bit respponsibility, I hope she is up for it, and if she bails I hope you can take it in.
Do any of your cats drop their toys in the water bowl?
It's the funniest thing with mine.   When Lucky was a baby he'd drop his toys in the toilet and just have a blast trying to fish them out.  Then he'd come jump up on the desk with me and shake his wet paws off.  Lucky and Sofia both drop their toys in the water bowl.  Sofia loooooooves those little fur mice.  She will go to town chasing them around and then she drowns them either in the water bowl or the toilet.  I have learned to check before I sit down on the potty - I think I've flushed more than one mouse away.
Chili peppers and little tiny plastic pinball toys.
g
Happy Birthday - beware of coming off Depo
I have been on Depo for 7 years (I'm 25). I had what I would consider mild acne while on the Depo. I recently stopped the Depo (about 4 months ago) and I have never had acne this bad!!! I'm praying that it calms down once my hormones get back to normal. It's definitely no fun! I have Proactiv and it definitely helps to get rid of the redness and calms things down a little - good makeup covers the rest. Good luck!
I've been told I have bats in my attic...and that I'm a french fry short of a happy meal, too!

How I made some parents very happy....sm

Last night our 1st-5th grade choir (20 students) presented their Christmas program at church.  This is my first year of working with this group of kids as we've been members at this church only a year now.  I've never been one to assign parts by "popularity" vote and try to make sure that every child that wants a speaking and/or solo gets it if at all possible, and for those that don't speak up to get one I ask them personally if they want a special role in the program.  


In last night's production I asked a boy who is severely ADHD if he would take one of the main roles as I'm very aware that kids like this need that channel for their energy and it boosts their self esteem.  He was very excited to do this and did a great job... even with it being hard for him to learn his lines. 


The best part though was we have a girl in the show who is learning disabled and has a  severe speech impediment.  I gave her a speaking part and a solo, and she worked hard with her mom to learn it.  She did very well and most people could understand what she said or sang.  After the show her mom told me that it was her favorite Christmas program of all of her life because I asked Madison to have that role instead of the other kids, and how much it meant to both of them that I didn't overlook her. 


The pastor told me that he was very impressed that I especially gave roles to these 2 kids that over the prior years have been overlooked because of the way they are, and that I reworked the play to give every child involved at least one set of speaking lines so everyone had that special moment in the show. 


Doing things like this is what kids need regardless of their artistic ability.  The 1st & 2nd graders worked as hard as the 5th graders did on learning the music & drama and some of them even out-sang the older kids!   I've been in churches before where the music director picked the favorites/most popular and it certainly happens in the schools, so I always want the kids and parents to know that I will not abide by the popularity vote and show my love for these kids & God by giving everyone a chance in the spotlight.


I do believe in God, I don't believe he would lead (sm)
someone to have an abortion. I do think children can be born into bad homes that make them turn into criminals. I just think it needs to take a little longer to get an abortion, require some counselling about the possible emotional effects later for the girl/woman and the child's father as well. There needs to be more emphasis placed on people who want to give their children up for adoption. The whole issue just needs to be more organized and more controlled. There shouldn't be so many babies needlessly dying.
lol... at least there was no LEAD in it!

Buyer beware!
I've had several experiences on e-bay, one as seller and others as buyer.  I should have known better, but sent a money order for a piece of software to the UK and never received it.  The price was too good to be true--about $20.00, so that should have been a tip-off, also.  This seller also had good feedback record.  When I tried to follow up, the seller was no longer a part of e-bay.  The other buying experience I had was nerve-wracking; had to follow up with the seller of a C-phone several times before shipment.  As a seller, I researched info on an old vase (Roseville) and listed it at a fair price.  Other sellers had a similar vase for $1.00--so I gave up.  Just my experiences!  Glad to know others have had better luck!
Beware. There have been studies that
what you order is not necessarily what you get.
Lead in lipstick - what's next?
They mentioned brands like L'Oreal and Cover Girl.  Are you starting to read labels?  Ever read canned good labels - like applesauce - yep, China. 
Settlement offers - beware
Just be aware that if they do a settlement offer of $3500  on the $7000 then you will have to include any portion that they write off as "income" on your taxes and they will send you a 1099 C that will show the amount that they cancelled and will report it to the IRS.  If they already have a judgment against you, why are they taking you to court?  I thought that once a judgment was placed that was it, of course if the judgment was placed prior to you making payments and then you began making payments again, that might require another judgment.  And of course that begins the start of the cycle of the 7 years before they will write off the entire amount and with the new laws that could also generate a 1099 C requiring you to report that as income.   Of course the amount of taxes you pay on the "income" is a lot less than the amount of the debt but it is still something to think about.  Good luck. 
I just need to VENT and see what you all think...Beware...this is long...sm

I have tried twice to tell this story but deleted it both times because the story is just too long so I will be as short as I can. 


I have a bunch of ROTTEN TO THE CORE sisters.  My sisters are just about the worst people I have ever met in my whole 43 years on this planet.  There is one who is especially bad and I just told my other sister that if she ever dies, to please not call me as I won't come to any wake or funeral for her because I HATE her guts.  I come from a very large family with 5 sisters and 1 brother with my brother being the oldest.  He is not involved.  He sort of "left" the family years ago because he couldn't take the bulls**t of my sisters anymore.  They did terrible things to him after his divorce.  We rarely see him now.  I am considered a scumbag and a loser because my husband and I don't make a lot of money.  We don't own a home.  We don't have gorgeous cars.  We can't give our 3 children everything they want and we can only give them small amounts of what they actually need, but we do try.  We love our children with everything in our souls.  They have made fun of me and my husband and insulted us to our faces.  My husband and I have a difficult marriage as he is tough to get along with so they hate my husband's guts.  My sisters have all gone out to dinner without inviting me.  I have found out because of someone's slip of the tongue.  They have made threats and sent rumors flying throughout the family, without me knowing, about calling DCYF on me.  I heard that one too from a slip of the tongue.  I cried for 2 hours in the shower that day.  They talk about everyone and I mean everyone badly.  They have a well known reputation in a couple of our towns here for being mean horrible girls.  They are about as fake and phony as a person can get.  Sweet and all smiles to your face and when you turn around, they stick that knife in as far as they can get it in.  They have what they have in their lives because of what someone has given them.  My sister had her property given to her by her in-laws.  It is worth about $1,000,000.  My other sister had land given to her by her husband's family so they could build their house and then his parents used to come over with BIG fat checks "to lessen their mortage burden" so now they owe almost nothing on their $500,000 house.  They think they are fabulous people.  They think they are the cat's meow.  In the past years when we were all talking and I would be invited to a holiday, I was not spoken to at all the whole time I was there.  I am a venter and I always have been so if my husband and I are fighting, I will always go to my older sister (one up from me) and vent and vent until I can't talk anymore because I just get so angry.  She gets on the phone the second I leave and tells every person in my family what is going on.  They in turn judge me and my husband, make their threats, and so on.  This is also happening to my oldest sister and her partner (she is in a gay relationship but was always dating a man and was married twice) and my sister's daughter and her family.  The three of us, me, my sister and her partner, and my sister's daughter and her family, talk.  We get along well.  We are happy with each other.  We don't judge each other.  Whatever happens in each other lives, we just accept it and don't judge each other because we realize that each other has their own life and they will deal with whatever comes on their own with their own family in their own way.  I now attend holidays at my sister's daughter's home.  I don't leave her house after a holiday feeling lonely or sad or angry because no one would speak to me.  I don't feel judged.  The sisters (I like to call them the Witches of Eastwick) all attend holidays with each other up at my sister's husband's family's cabin in the mountains.  The three of us are not invited.  My older sister has a son.  Several yeas ago, my sister and her partner had a terrible fight with him.  He went to the witches and told them a bunch of lies and now they have pretty much shunned her and her daughter and me too because we still talk to her.  I have a sister, who is involved in all of this, that I speak to on a regular basis.  She is close to my kids or at least my oldest son.  She pretty much ignores my other two children and they tell me, It's alright mommy, we know Aunty Becky hates us."  She is the one who has spread rumors about me in the family trying to get everyone to call DCYF on me.  I heard this too by a slip of the tongue from another sister a few years back.  I tend to be a forgiving person so I quietly forgave her for this without her ever knowing that I knew what she was trying to do.  Now that they are all inviited to the holidays up to my sister's cabin up north, this rotten sister of mine (the one closest to my son) has 3 cats that are fed twice a day.  They are extremely fat just like her.  These holiday trips up north are usually kept quiet and I only know about it the day before they are leaving to go, which is when she inevitably asks me to come feed her f******g cats.  This is how I know that a big party is going on up at the cabin and once again only the chosen selected few are going.   This is usually for 3 or 4 days and they get fed twice a day so I have to go to her house twice a day.  Sometimes I have to give them medication and the last time she asked me, I even had to soak her sick cat's feet in medicine.  She lives about 20 minutes away from me.  This girl would NEVER, NEVER, EVER do this for me.   My husband and I took our children on a cruise 3 years ago and we have a cat and I never asked her to do this for me as I know she would have laughed in my face.  I have been feeding her cats for years now when she goes away.  Keep in mind though that she was in the select chosen few to be invited up to the cabin.  I was not as I am considered trash in the family.  I am SICK AND TIRED of feeding this girl's cats so SHE can go up north to have fun with the family on the holidays.  My sister who invites everyone to go is a mean, horrible, sadistic, vicious, backstabbing wretched b***h.  No one will say anything to her like, "Gee Pat, where is everyone else?  Didn't you invite this one, and this one, and this one?"  They could care less.  All they know is that THEY were invited. 


Anyway, I am sorry this is so long.  I can't take my sisters anymore.  I have been thinking of this all day all weekend long.  I am really to the point where I just don't want to see them ever again.  I am going to tell my fat a** b***h sister to fnd another way to get her cats fed because I'm not doing it anymore!!  She is just using me and believe me when I tell you, she enjoys it.  She is very diabolical.  She loves it that I am not invited and she and her husband are.  She even questions me and counts the cat food cans to make sure that I came on all of the days they were gone.  These people have balls of brass and I have had ENOUGH.  I am just sitting and waiting patiently for the next time she says, "Oh, we're going up north for a few days.  Can you come and feed the cats?"  I just can't wait to see the look on her face when I simply say, "No.  I can't.  I will never feed your cats again!  Find some other sucker to do it!"


I believe that they are severely narcissistic people and this is nothing to take lightly. These types of people are very destructive.  Do any of you have family members like this and what do you do about them?  How do you stop them from making you feel sad, lonely, excluded and less than you are or deserve?  I think it is time for me to cut all ties with them.  I just can't take their crap anymore and I do think I would be much, much happier and calmer. 


 


Talked to breeder, possible lead
I called my Misha's breeder to see if she had run into any diseases in her dogs. She figured out who the parents were and then remembered that her father, Bear, had lupus. Because his problem involved anemia, I believe she means SLE, which is the bad kind. But it does fit Misha quite well since it can cause neurological symptoms and other quirky problems she's had over the years, so I'm going to have them check her ANA. She's on prednisone right now, which is the appropriate treatment for SLE anyway. I think I can sleep now that I have a theory.
Talking to me about my smoking may lead
to burn marks on your forehead as I put out my cigarette. Oh, was that your head?
I just think you lead them there first, and let them learn for themselves what is right or wrong (sm
If you point out everyone's sin to them before they learn about God's love, they are going to run.
Some men don't see the little steps that lead to affairs...
What I am seeing that are red flags include...

1) She has chosen to discuss her relationship/marital problems with a married person of the opposite sex - this 100% creates an intimate situation between 2 people that should only exist in the relationship/marriage.

2) She has chosen to discuss her marital problems with her clients - this is not really appropriate client/professional behavior. She is looking for a personal connection with someone.

3) She has accepted a fairly large amount of money from a client given to help her personal situation and not as a professional thank you - this is setting up a deeper intimate relationship. She is looking for a provider.

4) Your husband seems to be filling a need to be important and a hero in someone's life by giving her this money (I agree with hero concept below but sex isn't necessarily the solution) - he is responding to the deeper intimate relationship. He is being the provider.

5) He is mad at you and telling you that you are being stupid about this - he is invested in this relationship enough to defend it.

For every step he takes forward, the relationship has a chance of becoming more serious. As each little step that he takes becomes okay with him, the next step is a little closer and a little more natural. While he may never get up 1 day and say I am going to have an affair, he is about halfway down the road and might not realize it yet.

I strongly suggest talking with him about it. Food and sex is a not a cure for this one. Make sure he knows that you are not comfortable with this and you are both done seeing this gal as a hairdresser.
Well, now it's my turn to tell my story...(Beware..this is long)
Well, I just don't know where to begin.  I was 26 years old when I met and  married my husband.  It will be 14 years ago this August.  I was a platinum blond, Swedish, 26-year-old, voluptuous virgin waiting for my prince to come.  I had never dated because I was too fearful and shy.  My mother always told me that my prince was coming.  She just didn't tell me he was going to be the prince of darkness.  It has been a nightmare, although he says it has been great with only a few bumps along the way.  He is abusive in every way including verbally, mentally, emotionally, some physical although very little (not an excuse, just telling it the way it is), what I feel is sexual abuse with me but not the children, but the worst by far is his financial abuse.  He has told me many, many times, "Who do you think YOU are?  What do you think...that you're _____ is golden?  I can find a dozen more women like you."  I have three children, now ages 14, 13, and 11.  14-year-old has ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. My husband is just like this although he has never been diagnosed and never would be because in his own words, "I am perfect just like God made me.  There is nothing wrong with me.  The problem here is you."  My credit is down the toilet.  Credit score is about 500.  His is 800.  Through the years, when the children were babies I had to feed them dry cereal with a cup of water because he wouldn't buy any milk or any groceries.  One very hot night in the summer, I had to feed them generic hot dogs and pink beans, which were some kind of bean that slithered out of the can in a gelatinous material.  The kids were were dry heaving at the table.  One day when I was about 8 months pregnant with my last child, he came up to me and said, "Well, I've made a decision."  I said what's your decision.  He said (very matter of fact), "I'm not going to pay for you anymore.  I won't help you pay your bills, I won't buy you clothes, I won't buy you anything.  If you want something, get off your f______fat a__ and get a job."  I had a 6-month-old and a 1 1/2-year-old and 8 months pregnant with the third one.  What!!  Get a job!!  Are you crazy??  He said, "Oh well."  Famous last words.  That is all I ever hear.  He has ripped out phone lines, denied us food and clothing.  We have two cars.  He used to hide the car I would drive around the neighborhood so I couldn't have access to a car.  He would even take the carseats.  One time when I was pregnant, I had no money so my girlfriend needed a babysitter a few hours a week.  She lives in Connecticut, which is about 45 minutes from my home.  She could only pay $45 a week but I would drive up there four days a week to watch those kids just to get that measly $45.  One day when I was leaving to go, I wanted $2 for an ice cream cone (I was pregnant at the time and that was my thing during that pregnancy).  I asked him for $2 and he said no.  I reached into his wallet and took $2 anyway.  So he came after me.  I took out the butcher knife but he ran outside to get to the car first so I couldn't get in.  I put away the knife and ran out the back door to try to get to the car first but he got there before me.  I reached in to try to grab the car keys out of the ignition when he rolled the window up as hard as he could.  I was screaming at the top of my lungs.  I thought he was going to break my arm.  I was able to backhand him and he unrolled the window.  A little while later I ran to the neighbors to call the police because he ripped the phone lines out.  I was there for about 15-20 minutes calling the police, family, and my friends to come and help.  When I got back to the house, he had taken both cars (hid one in the neighborhood) and went to work.  He left my 9-month-old and 1 1/2-year-old children all by themselves (and at the time I lived on a very busy street where cars would drive by at 50 mph).  When I walked in, they were sitting on the living room floor screaming at the top of their lungs.  The next morning I was in the shower and I lifted up my arms to wash my hair when out of the corner of my eye I saw something on the underside of my arm.  It was a jet black bruise about four to five inches long by about two inches wide.  It was literally jet black.  I was stunned.  When I called the police, I told them what was going on with his abuse.  I told them I was pregnant with two little ones at home.  I told them I had no food.  I told them and showed them the bruise and I told them I wanted to press assault charges.  They said, "He did that to you?"  I said yes.  I said, "I want him arrested for assault."  I told them where he worked.  They turned around and told me that because the incident happened the day before that there was nothing they would do and that they weren't going to go get him and arrest him.  They told me to just let him lie low for a while.  This happened in 1996.  We are not talking the 50s here.  This was just before they handed me a pamphlet on battered women and battered women's shelters.  The pamphlet said there does not have to be any sign of physical abuse.  If you are in a situation where you simply fear for your safety, the person can be arrested.  And I am sitting there pregnant with a huge, jet black bruise underneath my arm from where he rolled my arm up in the window.  This is just a few tidbits of the life I have had with him.  There have been some good times and good vacations but mostly bad.  We have fought so bad for years and years that I know the toll it has taken on the kids.  The guilt I have is insurmountable.  If he buys groceries, I have to pay him back.  If he pays the phone bill, I have to pay him back.  If he buys me anything or gives me a $10 or $20 bill, I have to pay him back.  Most of the time, I am not allowed to go into a store with him.  I went with him once to Wal-Mart and I put a $2 box of sweetener into the carriage.  That was it.  I am now not allowed to go into a store with him.  He screams at us that he pays the rent, therefore, it is his house and we have to learn to live the way he wants us to and we should be catering to him.  If we don't, he will take away things.  He has told me for years that he is a king and that the house is his castle and that he has allowed us to live with him because he is kind, loving, and gracious.  He will only buy one Christmas gift for his kids and no stocking stuffers or tape or wrapping paper or anything like that.  I have to do that with what I get paid to do MT work.  He doesn't buy them summer clothes, school clothes, winter clothes, NOTHING and never has.  When they were little, I would tell him that the children needed some cool clothes for summer.  He would take their little pants and cut them off and then take their turtleneck shirts and cut off the turtle neck and cut off the sleeves and say, "There you go.  There's their summer clothes."  Or he would just tell me, "Go ask your sister to buy them some clothes."  He has threatened to kill me and the children if I leave.  He has told me that he would kill me and the children before I would ever see child support.  He has a sex fettish where he wants it all the time, every day multiple times in a day if he could get it (not that he does, mind you.  I stopped that crazy crap a long time ago), and I am just supposed to stop all that I am doing and fulfill his needs (even though sex for me offers virtually nothing other than soreness, swelling, and boredom and has always been like this).  If I don't, over a few days he will get very nasty and vindictive.  I am very overweight, I smoke like a chimney, my credit is destroyed, I don't even own my own car or my home (we rent).  I have less now 14 years later than I did before I married him.  At least before I married him I had my own very nice car and some clothes.  I don't even have that.  My clothes are tattered, stained, and worn.  And...I had dreams of what my life was going to be like when I got married.  But it certainly was not a life like this.  My kids are older now and they are seeing their father for who he is.  He blames me and tells me it is all the bad stuff I am telling the children.  I keep telling him it is what they have seen for 14 years.  They beg me to divorce him.  My youngest, who is 11, was diagnosed last year with severe ulcerative colitis.  He has had a flare now for the past six weeks with at least ten bouts of diarrhea with blood every day.  He talks about depression a lot and always asking me what it is.  When I got the call last year from his pediatrician telling me to take him to the hospital for a possible blood transfusion (this was when we got his diagnosis), I almost fell on the floor from fear.  I called my husband at work to tell him he needed to come home.  He said, "I can't come home.  I have to work."  He said, "Don't you all think this is a bit overkill?"  His red blood cell count had dropped to 7.2 from a normal of 12 because of his bleeding.  He came to the hospital when he got out of work.  He showed up at 6:00 p.m.  We went outside and talked for a bit and then about 20 minutes after he showed up, he said, "Well, I have to go home to eat and shower.  I'm tired."  When I got angry, he said" Hey, I'm tired.  I need to rest.  Besides, there's nothing I can do here and it looks like they've got everything under control."  We still didn't know what was wrong with him.  I didn't know if it was cancer or what it was.  I was scared to death.  But he had to go home to eat and shower and rest!!!!  I think that was the beginning of the end for me.  I once read something on these boards that someone posted saying "Marriage is not supposed to be a good deal for one and misery for the other."  That is what my life has been.  My marriage was a great deal for him...kids that he never has to pay for (I mean nothing...not school projects and believe me there are a ton of them, not clothes, not shoes, notebooks, backpacks, nothing), free sex, and a wife that he doesn't have to take care of or pay for.  I believe in my soul that my marriage was a good business deal for him.  If you knew my husband, you would laugh at that statement because he is extremely uneducated and talks like a mentally retarded person.  People in the past have actually asked me if he was mentally retarded.  He thinks that if my son would drink lots and lots of water, that that will cure his ulcerative colitis and makes fun of me and insults me and everyone else.  I tell him he is a moron and he doesn't know what he is talking about.  His abusive mother made them drink nothing but water.  She would not buy them anything or strive for a better life.  They lived in a nightmare life.  So now he gets very angry when we won't drink tons of water to "cure" everything.  He tells us that he is trying to show us how to "live right" but we just won't listen.  He tells this to other people too including our landlord.  He has the most disgusting habits.  He picks scabs and eats them, he has eczema and psoriasis so he is one huge flake, which he enjoys picking off chunks and dropping them in a pile on the floor, he passes unbearable gas (like every two or three minutes that has such a horrid stench it makes all of us nauseous) and then flips out if we spray a room spray.  He will actually grab the can and scream that this is his house and we are all just disgusting to live with and just impossible to live with.  He just had a fight with my 12-year-old daughter tonight because he was passing tons and tons of gas and she sprayed a room spray.  He got up in her face screaming at the top of his lungs at 11:00 at night that this is his house.  He will pass gas all he wants and that he won't tolerate room spray being sprayed and then called her a god d___n bitch.  She was crying and begging me to divorce him.  She kept saying," You said it would be better for the family if you stayed married to him but it's not better.  It won't ever be better!"  Well, I could go on and on.  It has been 14 years of this but I think you get the picture.  I have no money.  I don't even own my own car.  I have a son who is going to need ongoing frequent medical care and I am afraid he will cancel the insurance if I do anything to get rid of him.  I have a great fear for our safety.  He has major problems with having to give up his money so to have to pay child support will send him over the edge.  He is a pathological liar so you can't believe anything he says even when he says he won't show up to court (which would be a dream come true).  He told me, "I would never allow anyone to judge me like that.  You can tell the judge to kiss my balls."  He seems to expect the absolute highest standards from the children and I but he doesn't have to live up to anything, virtually nothing.  Never has and never will but will shove it down my throat when he doesn't get what he wants from me.  Well, any advice.  I really am looking for legal advice for anyone else who has been through this.  I know I need to get rid of him...for the kids sake.  They need to see that life is not like this and not all men do this and that you don't tolerate abuse in any way, shape, or form.  My daughter, who just turned 13, says to me she hates men with a passion.  I told my niece that I felt like I was dying.  I never, never, never, never leave my house except to go to Dunkin Donuts up the street to get a coffee.  I haven't been out of my house for more than 3 hours in probably ten years.  And that is three hours probably once every two months.  I am lonely, isolated, and ragingly angry.  I want to go back to school but when I talk about that, he poo poos it saying I should go back in five or ten years or 15 years when my bills are paid and I can afford it.  HELLO?????  I am going to be 43 in October.  Maybe I should just wait to go back to school until I'm retired.  Well you get the picture.  If you've been through this and have any legal advice or any other advice, I would appreciate it.  By the way, when I bring up any of his abuse to him, he tells me "I don't remember any of that."  Funny, he always remembers every time I swear at him though.  Has never forgotten a single time.
How will our daughters learn to stand up for themselves if we do not lead by example
I have always stood up for my daughter and have tried to teach her the same and now that she is getting older I can see that it is paying off. You go girl!!!!!
Beware of overdraft protection on debit card though
My son moved into his own place, actually sharing a house with a friend. He got his first checking account and was actually doing well with it.  He actually didn't get any checks and just used his debit card. He and his roommate decided to get cable. Evidently my son signed up for it to be automatically deducted from his checking account, which he says he did not know. That was his responsibility and his mistake obviously. He should have known when they were going to ping his account. Unfortunately, he did not. They deducted for his cable bill, and then he thought he had more in his checking account and used his check card about 12 times in a 2 day time period.. like, for 1 soda for $1.49, or $5.00 of gas.  All of these charges were allowed and were put through but then were charged a $30 fee for each. Finally on the third day, the card was declined and that same day he received the notice of overdrafts in the mail.  Supposedly this is a service the bank offers, which I don't understand, in that they will process your debit like an overdraft and put it through, but then charge you. I totally understand how that is a good thing for checks, as you avoid getting the check charges and bounced checks through the merchants, but when you are using a debit card, shouldn't it just decline it if you don't have enough money in there? It would have tipped him off right away that there was a problem with his account, instead of racking up over $300 in overdraft fees. We've contacted the bank several times, but they will not budge saying that this is "service" they provide and it was explained in the paperwork he received when he opened his account.
Was having a great time (Beware, long rambling:-)

while I was scooping the back so thought I'd try to get a couple of pics for DH, who is gone for the next 10 days for work.  He's a labradoodle that we got last summer at 4 months old and before anyone jumps in here and says they're overpriced mutts (which they are ) we got him from a shelter in another city.  All of the dogs I have had have been from shelters and would never pay hundreds or thousands when there are so many dogs that need homes.  We saw a brown one last summer that DH fell in love with, so I did some searching and this shelter had several.  The others had been picked up as strays, a couple of older dogs and several puppies, which I guess all but a couple died from parvo.  Jake was turned in by a family who thought he was too energetic for their 2-year-old.  He had kennel cough, we discovered, when we got him home and was sick for a few weeks, but not too bad a case, had some snotty nose and coughing, was really worried about pneumonia, but the vet said to go ahead and give him the vaccine and sometimes that helps them get over it a little easier.  He's got a nice combination of lab and poodle coat, needs to be raked once a week or so, but he doesn't shed.  He's a little pill for sure but I think is going to be a great dog with a little more work.  He's still pretty ~boisterous~ you might say on walks.  I'm a Dog Whisperer fan, just love that show and Cesar Millan, so we ordered the collar that he uses on that show, and it really is making a huge difference.  Also, I was really impressed when we got it.  How many things do you find these days that are made in the US?  His packaging on the collar had ~~we proudly support our country, made in the USA~~!!  Even more of a fan now!


I have been checking out boxer rescues and if we can afford a home of our own, hopefully next year sometime, I'd like to get a pal for him.  I'm actually a big boxer fan from way back, have a pic mom took of me as a baby in diapers sitting in the middle of a litter of boxer puppies with them crawling all over me!  a wonder any of us grew up, huh , with all the things we came in contact with like that, she'd probalby get hauled away for child abuse these days.  Dad found the mamma boxer wandering the country roads one hot summer day when he was hail adjusting.  She was struggling, pregnant, really hot and thirsty, so he brought her home, no one ever claimed her, so Duchess became a part of our family.  I had a boxer some years ago that I adopted from a puppy mill raid, where I helped take care of some of the dogs that were rescued, 200 and some of all varieties and ages, mostly all sick, filthy, malnourished, etc. in the the middle of January, below zero, snow, and a lot of them kept outside with no shelter, was a horrible mess, but people in that town really stepped up to the plate, donated all kinds of food, leashes, collars, bedding, vets donated their services, and all but a few of the dogs (too sick and had to be put down) were adopted.  Duke was a very sick pup at first and didn't know if he'd make it, but he was a wonderful dog with my kids when they were young!


Anyway, just sitting here browsing the board and rambling on...By the way Hayseed, I visited your website the other day because I wanted to see your web cam (really cool!) and saw you had an RIP pic for Arf, sorry for your loss.  I remember you said awhile back you thought it wouldn't be long but must have missed when he passed and crossed the bridge.


Beware of fixing your own stove, fire hazard! nm
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In some locations, you can rent an exerciser instructor to lead
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spelling police beware the swift correction of the administrator! ha! nm
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It was wheat from China.........sm
News was that China sprays some of their wheat with a rodenticide and somehow, this spray was on the wheat they shipped over to Canada. I just can't believe the Canadian company didn't check the wheat first BEFORE it went into the food.
Trade with China
... and this is only the beginning. When one considers China is still a communist country, does not have human rights let alone dignity for how it treats its animals, all I can do is shake my head. In China there is no such thing as environmental law. People and companies dump toxic waste every day in rivers and streams, excretment, human and animal, is strewn where they grow their food, animals are treated in a fashion that would horrify us, and dangerous chemicals are not controlled in their country to the extent they are here - so how can we expect them to have a standard we have been used to? And who can we hold responsible? Our government, the agency who is to supposed to protect us citizens. Since corporations run our government today,the agencies, namely the FDA can only do so much. The FDA in itself is in dire need of overhauling. This is a dangerous gray area we are entering. Coporations have much protection and sanctions when it comes to their business practices, and how much legally they are required to tell the consumer. The time has come for the American public to demand more from the companies we purchase products from, and as I always say, ADVOCATE, ADVOCATE, ADVOCATE. It is our right and responsiblity as American citizens to address these issues and demand change.
Meal suggestions
I love to cook, but there are times when cooking just does not fit into my schedule. On those occasions, I opt for the Lean Cuisine (LC) frozen meals #1, followed by the WW variety. I personally find LC to have tastier meals, but there are some good WW frozen meals. Also, there are options for eating out, you just have to be selective in restaurant choices. When joining WW you can get a restaurant guide which is great in helping you with those selections. This is another thing I enjoy about WW. First, and foremost, you are not restricted to having to buy a program's foodline which can be very expensive, such as Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, etc. You can eat the same foods the rest of your family eats. If hubby is the cook of the family, when he is around you could have him cook extras of WW sensible meals and put them away, either in the fridge for immediate use, or in the freezer for future use. I have done that in the past with preparing on the weekends and having leftovers ready for quickie meals during the week. Don't forget with summer upon us that the grill is a wonderful place to enjoy your food and still remain WW-friendly. I hope these suggestions will help.
cracked me up - new take on china

hard to get a guy dishes and after 20 years who wants more china unless you really entertain the rich and famous.