lazy parents don't monitor their kids or keep them on the right
Posted By: track every day. n/m on 2007-07-24
In Reply to: If they watch TV and go on line and go to school, parents can't do squat these days. - nm
nm
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
girls act that way because their parents are too lazy
nm
I agree! Many kids are overweight, lazy and don't want to work hard for anything!
Good luck to them in the working world...how many do you think will actually do well? It's a scary thought.
They are both the kids parents - they should both help (nm)
x
It certainly is sad for the kids and their parents but -
I would much prefer to hear about an 11-year-old or 13-year-old being abandoned under the Safe Haven laws rather than hearing about their mother or father deciding the only way out of a desperate situation was to kill their children and themselves.
The children are old enough that they have probably had numerous conversations with their parent(s) about why they are being left and how to find them later (at least I hope so.)
Dr/kids/parents
Need some advice. My 12 year old son has been ill on and off since October of last year. My hubby and I have had him to the dr. several times since October. In January a new care provider diagnosed him with Mono. He had missed 12 days of school with that and we were told it would take a great amount of time to get him over this, as he probably (according to the new doc) had mono at that time and was never properly diagnosed. After sending him back to school the 3rd week in January he comes home and relates to us that he hurts and is sooooo tired. This resulted in another dr. visit. This time we were told that he was still fighting whatever infection and this was normal. He missed a week of school with that episode.
This morning he wakes up and is complaining of an earache and running a slight fever. I am very concerned and have run out of ideas on what to do next? I just want to make sure he is properly cared for and there is not some underlying process going on that they are not able to diagnose.
Can anyone offer some advice to this worry wart of a mother.!!!!!!!!!!
Well duh....kids do need two parents BUT - sm
that is not always the case. Some moms and dad are just plain bad parents. In this woman's case she is trying to do the best she can, being mom and dad, and kid is trying to push it to the limits. Maybe the dad was the feared one in the house, certainly sounds that way, so the son now thinks with dad gone mom will let him do whatever he wants. Maybe that is what has happened with his friends. It is a lot of work to be a single parent. I have two friends that are single parents. #1--She left/divorced her DH when their only child was only a year or so old. He is $14K behind in child support but she is afraid of him so will not take him to court for the money. Luckily she has a very good job, and has now moved back in with her widowed dad to help take care of him. Her daughter is now a very well-adjusted 14-y/o who never sees her dad because he just won't make any effort. My friend has bent over backwards to try to get him to be an active father, he is just a total aaaasssss though. #2- Her kids actually begged her to divorce their dad. He was very verbally abusive and controlling. My friend had to hide money to have any. She would buy stuff at the store then return it for cash in order to save up money to leave him. The kids were quite happy with the divorce and hated to go to their dad's on the visitation weekends. Her daughter did it for about 2 years then refused to go--he of course took my friend to court on that, but luckily for the daughter she was not forced to go back to visitation. Now her son, 16, just told dad he does not want to visit with him anymore either. My friend is waiting for the court documents to come now...hopefully he won't take her back to court again. The dad puts strings on everything and they are not allowed to do anything over there, no friends, no TV, no electronics. Either clean the house, read, or stare at the walls basically, and be yelled at most of the time as well. He never takes them anywhere (to cheap), and spends most of his time tinkering with his truck or one of his motorcycles. He used to hold the child support hostage on my friend, would not give it to her if she ticked him off or until she would do something he wanted her to do, she finally got tired of that crap and went to the state and now gets it through the state/family courts. Only 2 years left on the one and 1 on the other so almost done with that. Then she can basically cut all ties with her ex, she will probably have a big party when the younger child turns 18. ----So in both their cases the dad's stink. #1's ex is AWOL basically, and #2's is a controlling jerk, it is his way or not at all basically. ----some men/women do step up to the plate and become better parents but I believe that they are the exception to the rule. ---I am sure counseling would help the entire family come to grips with the changes they are going through , and children need to be given firm boundries, etc. so they knows what is expected of they.
parents are suppose to be there for their kids, but he needs to get his s**t together
What kind of man lives on mommy? I am sure you don't want your son on this path.... I feel bad for you too! People go into the reserves so they can also have another job or go to college.... this sounds like a case for Dr. Phil... in fact I have seen this on there and he told the mothers to give them an ultimatum of either help out or GET OUT!!!
Some kids think this is funny, their parents laugh
and I for one totally agree with the school system. My daughter and her friends years ago thought that was cute to pass gas and belch out loud. She was called down on it every time I was around and thank goodness, she is now 33 and has finally learned how to behave herself and act like she has some sense. I think parents overlook their responsibility for not calling down kids on doing this. It is not fun for grownups and should be attended to promptly. Unless medical concern, it really shows lack of manners and upbringing.
Parents DO NOT owe kids college education.
When DD started college we paid,,,, at first. But she did NOTHING to help herself. From her part time job, all her money went to nails, clothes, meals out with friends, etc. She did nothing about getting scholarships. After 1st year, I said I wouldnt pay anything else. DH continued to help her. She did apply for scholarship thru DH work and got $2000. Of that money, she ended up dropping a class paid for with that money, cause it was too early (8:00am). Bottom line, she did nothing towards finishing school, in fact, quit going, did not increase work hours. I stopped giving her ANY money at that point. She ended up marrying Marine boyfriend and is now working at Dollar Store. These were HER choices, instead of completing her teaching degree, of which she only had 2 years to go. I told her why should I spend my hard earned money on her when she was doing absolutely nothing to help herself. She knew if she was making an effort to her future I would help her, but not if she wasnt doing anything for herself.
I think in this day and age parents should plan a way for their kids to attend college (sm)
$1000 a month is nothing compared to what it actually takes to raise two kids.
She made her choice but parents at least owe their kids a chance (sm)
She was given that chance and blew it - some would blow it and some would not. But I still think that with the way our country works today if you do not at least try to help your kids get through college you have not finished your job as a parent.
Help! Pushy parents think I work from home and can drive their kids etc
I am constantly being asked to watch people's kids because I work from home. The latest is a friend of my son attending the same camp in another town. The friend I will call Scotty. Scotty has two parents. His father works from home as a computer consultant. My friends and I have called Scotty's dad to work on our computers and he never even returns the call or shows up. Scotty's mom recently asked me if I could drive her son home from them because the dad gets busy and doesn't like to leave clients. I told her that I too am working from home and have to minimize my time in the car. Scotty does not live close to us. I feel like a big meanie but they have pushed me before. Last year our kids were not even in the same camp but the mom called and asked if I would drive and pick up her son every day because i live in the same town as the camp. I was like ??? no way.
They used to drop Scotty off at my house on school holidays. They would drop him off at 7 AM and then once the mom called me at 5 PM and said she wanted to get an oil change and asked me if I could keep scotty until 7:30 PM. I said NO and then she came to pick him up earlier but stayed at my house uninvited until 9:30 when I just said I HAVE TO GO TAKE A SHOWER.
Anyone have clever ways to handle these situations?
It burns me up when parents support their bratty kids' actions
This kid is going to get some bumps and bruises from the School of Hard Knocks, otherwise known as LIFE.
Poll for parents with school aged kids at home...sm
1. What ages are your kids?
2. Do they have their own cell phone?
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?
As for our house, here's the answers. Kids are 15 and 8. 15-year-old has a cell phone and pays her bill. 15-year-old has a TV. The kids share 1 PC that is where we can see what they're doing on it, and they're limited to no more than an hour a day on it if it's a school day. We do have parental controls in place. They don't receive an allowance but they are aware of a special chores list that they can choose to do extra things around the house to make money. They are required to keep their rooms and bathrooms cleaned, as well as alternate cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.
Amy used to love to sit on the monitor, until
xx
Anyone with an LCD monitor that can tell me how long they last when used for working all the time.
Mine seems to be having problems after about 2 years but used hard every day.
My friend has a kitty who sits on her monitor and
when he's ready to eat! Not once has he ever scratched in the process, does just enough to accomplish his objective.
I have a my space and use it daily to monitor my daughter and her friends
Yep thats me nosy mom but I have a few moms on my friends list lol
Spew on the monitor again! Girl, you got one wicked sense of humor! I'm
s
Anybody see the new thing now that internet companies including Comcast are going to monitor monthly
internet usage.
Maybe because they are lazy or just don't - sm
care or want to be troubled by it.
AGAIN --- LAZY.
Why don't you offer her to live off of you while she sits and whines about not having money. How long would you take it?
Go ahead. Offer.
You know you wouldn't. So be still with yourself.
Ha! 
Thank you. Never in bird. I'm too lazy LOL :-) NM
x
because they are not (superior), just lazy. nm
x
I would if they were being lazy bums...
I am 35, and while I'm not terribly "successful", I'm very independent. My mom let us live at home, but she had stipulations. We either had to be working full time or going to school full time if we were living with her. she said in emergencies, we always had a place to crash until we get on our feet, but not to be lazy and do nothing, and I'm so glad she did that! My sister and I are both independent people. I know first hand a few guys who in their MID 40s, STILL live at home! no ambition to go, and actually one guy annoys me because he has the nerve to get IRRITATED with his parents for asking him about his life, where he's at, whatever. I find it funny that he doesn't think that living with her gives her the right to know whether or not he's coming home. He lives there free of charge, would rather not work if he didn't have to, and has no ambition and it bugs me. I know him as a friend of a friend, and I don't particularly care for his laziness at all.
I will do what my mom did when my son is old enough, he can stay as long as he is working full time and/or going to school full time. I will not raise or enable mooching or being a bum around me. But, if at any point in his life if he's been on his own, then has something like a divorce or lost a job, and needs to come home, of course I'd welcome him with open arms till he gets back on his feet. He's 8, so I have a while to worry about that. ;)
Absolutely. If someone is too lazy to get a job,
Are you lazy? Or are you working?
Probably lazy.
Her mother isn't too lazy to teach her better sm
Her mother is riding her coattails and loving the party life. Her mother is too messed up herself to teach her anything.
U R taking easy/lazy way out. Be the parent even if
x
I am lazy and not a good cook, but I buy those roast bags sm
in with the seasoning packets. It comes with seasoning and the bag for about $2 usually. I buy whatever cut is on sale, put it in the bag with the seasoning, straight to the hot oven and add veggies in a few hours. Always, always tender and falling apart no matter what cut. I have tried the crockpot too, but mine is never good and tender that way.
Hey, have at it. If you want a lazy, apathetic, not affectionate, doesn't listen, doesn't make
can reach him!!! Let me know if you're interested.
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.
I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?
Yes, my dad's parents
My dad died when I was 18. I love my daddy, and I love my pop (step-dad). It is so sad that my children never got to meet their grandpa, but they do also have a grandpa (my pop) that loves them with all his heart. I also have a brother, who was named after my dad, and felt it only right that if anyone uses my dad's name it be his choice, not mine. Does that make sense? Thanks for your input!!!
My parents did it,
and they would say DON'T get Sears to do it. They did a horrible job.
My parents have several sm
and are very happy. I don't know how my dad went about aquiring them (he does have his real estate license)so that is probably a plus even though that is not his regular job. My parents are able to spend 3 weeks straight in Florida each year due to time shares. Two weeks at one place and one week at another. He also will swap time shares with others so they don't always have to go to the same places every year. My husband and I looked into one at Hilton Head and it just didn't seem like a very good deal to us. I didn't talk to my father first, but felt sure he would have advised against this one. This is just from my experience. I have heard horror stories from others. Good Luck.
What about your parents
Treat them as if they were your parents. Most of the time when I was married and we went to my in-laws, we knocked but then walked in especially if it was through the garage. I did the same at my parents, went through the sliding glass door. They did the same at our house. To me is is a minor thing and I did not care, thought it was great that they liked me and felt welcome enough to come on over and drop by. If they ended up seeing something they shouldn't then perhaps next time they would have called. Or if someone was there that they did not plan on seeing whatever. Sometimes we had the best last minute pot luck and card games that way. But that is me.
My parents are the same way. They don't like to
"invite" themselves along to the in-laws' houses on holidays, and won't even accept direct invitations from the in-laws because they think I pressured the invitation. My in-laws (and I) always figure "the more, the merrier!" When I host here, I invite all of my in-laws' extended families, but they don't want to come either. So we all wind up doing the two dinner thing and trying to schedule around EVERYONE. It's annoying. I'd rather rent a big hall and have EVERYONE show up for potluck. But nobody wants to leave their houses. Always some excuse, like young kids, but they didn't mind making me haul my young kids all over the state. And I'm the one in the family with the most kids. I say go anyway to the in-laws. Your parents can stay at your house alone for the evening, or they can come with you. It's their choice, but your plans are already made.
27 and 31 here, in the NE. Many other parents we
s
it's not just the parents...
kids today have different issues to face than kids did even up to the 50s and 60s. Most kids are watching MTV before they are out of diapers. It's just easier to put something electronic in a kid's hand than have to act like a parent. Kids are having kids at earlier ages than ever. A few years ago I lived in south Philly and watched a girl about 12 yo with a baby talking to a young boy on a bicycle. She told him she wanted money for the baby and he told her his mom didn't give him any lunch money that week, so he didn't have anything to give her.
My situation has been different because of the abandonment issues my GD has had to adjust to... but get this. One reason I can not spank her is because she came to me with some violent behavior from her parents. Her mom would let her run across the room (to the mom), jump on her and wrestle until she was so over stimulated the baby would bite mom on the face...and mom just laughed. I could not spank her for biting me...one violent action did not change the first. I have had to learn many new techniques since I raised my kids...obviously spaking did not work on them! I was very firm with them and used spanking as a last resort, but I can't do that with this child. She has to trust me and spankings do not build trust. We have a great relationship now, but I constantly have to reinforce changing her behavior from what she had when she came to me, along with just asserting her own indpendence as she grows older, with my words and deeds, not with violence.
My parents used to do this...
I can remember begging my mom for the list of names and numbers and she'd never give in. Drove us 4 kids up the wall! But thinking back, it was fun! Merry Christmas y'all!!!
Where are the parents???
I don't put the blame totally on Brittany (most of it I do, but not all of it). Her parents should be hauled down with her. Where in the world were they when this all was beginning. If it was me my mom and dad would be right there beside me saying what in the world is going on and they would get me the counseling I needed (and not allow me to leave when I wanted to). I don't care if she is a "pop" star or not. If more of the parents of these "stars" would act like parents you would think their children would behave more rationally. I look at Brittany and lots of her friends and they really are still children. I have a brother-in-law who is 48 and acts like he's 16 and needs to be kept in line by his mom. Maybe the parents are too worried that their famous kids will stop giving them money....who knows. Maybe not, but it looks like it to me.
parents
I had a daughter in a similar situation. Her school had a tutoring program after schools with actual teachers and that really helped her a lot. She actually was doing okay in the class, but just didn't feel confident. The teachers made her feel more sure of herself and that seemed to make all the difference. I'd talk with the physics teacher or counselor to see if they can work with her before she drops the class.
Parents what would you do?
I'm looking for some advice. My daughter just started the 9th grade. She's been in accellerated/Honors classes for a few years and she has always maintained a 98+ average. This year she's taking Physics, a 12th grade class. She's only been back to school for less than two weeks and she's so stressed out. She wants to drop out of the class already. I told her to give it to the first semester which will be over in ten weeks to see how it goes. My husband feels that she has to take it eventually so she should say in the class. She's afraid that this course is going to ruin her grade point average that she's very proud of. I think she should talk to the teacher and her counselor to see what advice they have. Her teacher is one that gives the work and says do it without really teaching them how to do anything. I'm so illiterate when it comes to science I'm no help at all. My husband took physics years ago and he tried to work with her last night, but I'm not sure how much he remembers himself. What would you do if your child was in the same predicament?
parents
careful, your face will freeze that way. go to your room and wait. killer was "I never thought I could be so disappointed in you. I thought we raised you better than that".
parents
how could I forget this one? Can't never accomplished anything.
never make fun of what someone does for a living as long as it is an honest job.
parents
My parents helped very little - they were very loving, but very poor. I worked, had no car, ate very simple cheap foods - that is the only way I could have done it. . I could not help my daughter much either - she got scholarships, took out loans and worked - full time one year while attending college full-time. . If parents can help, I think they should. . I think this mom is willing to help, just not change her entire life, which she should not have to.
This all comes down to the parents
I think those women are making a big mistake. I love my sister and nephew, don't get me wrong. But he is like that 7 yo and it drives me crazy. BUT my sister and BIL are to blame, I feel. He gets a toy every time they're in a store. He gets a new toy if he's good at the dentist. My sister feels "guilty" if he likes something and she doesn't run out and get it. They buy him major video games just because, instead of reserving these things for birthdays or Christmas. They will go out and buy him a $200 item in the middle of the week and when I ask what the occasion is? Nothing, we just thought he'd like it!
He is well behaved and they don't use the toys as bribes, but yet still, it's unbelievable some of the stuff they do. Yes, it's their only child, but I'm amazed. Growing up when we would talk, my sister had definite opinions about what she would and would not do when she had children, and this is not how she felt back then.
But he doesn't know anything about Monopoly or playing cards, or any of that stuff. In my opinion, they're raising him to be materialistic and as an adult I can see him as one of those guys who always has to have the latest toys to impress the other guys. Just my opinion.
You might be right, but my parents had me so...
afraid of them that I would NEVER have considered such a thing. Although I do not have a teenager yet, my hope is to have that kind of fear and, yes, respect by the time they are that age. However, I might live to eat my words yet. I just think that with a teenage girl, this might not really have been about a wedding after all--it could have been about a date to a wedding and I find that scary.
See what I mean? Some parents have no
consideration for anyone but themselves. Yes, parenting is a tough job. Some people do it better than others. But it doesn't give the less-than-adequate parents the right to inflict their out-of-control brats on others.
I love how they all go on the defensive, too, if you call them out on it. Suddenly they accuse the person objecting to their kids of not having kids themselves. (Usually not true).
It all boils down to consideration. And letting your infant scream through 3/4 of a movie, or a wedding ceremony, is pretty much akin to looking the other way while your dog drops a load of steaming poop on a neighbor's front lawn.
I would believe most parents would know
already.
You could do what my parents did to me
I stayed past curfew one too many times. First time they let it slide, second time the warned me and third time said I disobeyed, so they marched into my room, grabbed a suitcase and said if I didn't want to obey their rules than to get out and see if I could live somewhere cheaper and have a car whenever I wanted it. Even though the car was mine (old Valiant (think Chrysler made it, but it was mine), but they told me the car was not an option and would not be going with me.
It took me about 30 minutes of begging and pleading for them to let me to stay and I had to do some extra work around the house as punishment for disobeying them.
The only thing was back then 18 was legal age (drinking, etc). Your daughter is not of legal age yet. I'm not saying this is your or your daughter because I don't know you, but parents seem to always believe their kids are responsible. My sister thinks her 19-year-old son is responsible, but he shows time and time again he is not. I have a friend who boasted about how responsible her 17-year-old son is, he doesn't smoke or drink and studies in school and gets good grades and only goes out to go to the library. A few days later (Sat night) the police had brought him home as he was caught at a party drinking.
Took a lot of time for my parents to consider me responsible after some of the stuff I did (staying out past curfew, etc). Parents should not be so quick to trust their kids. They need to earn trust.
|
