keys
Posted By: MT on 2008-01-07
In Reply to: Wrong - GF
Your 16yo does not want to live with you and your biggest issue is that you want your key?? Maybe that attitude is part of the reason he does not want to live with you and his sister went along with it. I am no pushover, but I can't get my kids to leave. In fact, my son wants to build an apartment over the garage in a few years.
They will always have a key to my house, they are my kids and will always be welcome here whether they live with me or not.
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Down in the Keys....
We vacation in the Florida Keys and/or on Marathon Island every year and without fail we always get at least 1 or 2 resident iguanas. We feed then salad mix, carrots and apples and they will come down when they see you. I did not realize that they were pests until I read the news story about then falling out of the trees. That must be creepy. I added a pic. I hope it works!
Keys
I have another child here at home age 14....I work at home.....so if by chance I'm not here.....he is.....so my other son does need a key to my house if HE DOES NOT LIVE HERE.....
keys
DOES NOT NEED!!!
So it's really not about the keys at all?
If you're there all the time, no one needs keys, so what's the difference if he has them or not?
I think you are using the key as some sort of symbol to represent the only thing you have left to hold onto.
I don't want to judge you or your circumstance, but I really think from what you've said regarding your rapport with both your son and your daughter, there is something a little deeper goin' on here, a little more than anyone here might be able to provide insight for.
Again, I'm not trying to judge, but I don't think the keys are the problem.
Keys
It is not about the keys.....the comment that my mom made saying that I was wrong in telling to leave my house key.....and I still say if you do not live in my house.....YOU DO NOT NEED A KEY.....another post was made that I was saying "MY HOUSE"....it is MY HOUSE....nobody pays any bills here except me......
keys
I think you are right about the keys. there is really no need for him to have one. . I also agree about it being your house - some day he will be paying bills and then he will have a house of his own. . I do wonder though, if there could have been another solution where maybe his sister could have helped him out but he would still be living at home with you?? She is probably going to, at some point, have to do some parenting of a teenager and I wonder if she is ready for that??
The Florida Keys, they are everywhere!
x
re running to get keys
to go outside -- if you have to get keys first -- what are you going to do in case of a fire? If you have keyed dead bolts, you ought to leave them in the inside of door for safety.
dented keys
Yep. Dented keys. Actually gored. After 38 years of this, I probably don't have any fingerprints left either. I could go into safe cracking.
Take the keys to the car (& any spares!) and
let her life her life without a car. Dont give in when she wants it back. Tell her to buy her own. I'm sure that after having to work (and to take a bus or a bicycle to get there), she'll start to see what a handicap being car-less is, and what a privilege it is to have one. And if she buys one with her own hard-earned money, she'll begin to realize how generous you had been by letting her use yours.
Keys and kids...ugggg
I cannot count the number of times my son locked his keys in his car or lost his keys. Sometimes teenagers' head are stuck where the sun doesn't shine. How he maintains a 4.0 average pre-med, but cannot hold on to his keys is beyond me. I guess they grow out of it. When I first got my license, I not only locked my keys in the car, but left it running. Live and learn. 
I had keys to the roof of the bldg....sm
I was given keys to the roof of my building (because I was so chunky I didn't want to do this walking on the street/sidewalks of my complex) and I started by trying to do one entire perimeter of the roof (which is HUGE - like 2 roofs in one, 29 apartments to a floor....HUGE roof (built in the 70s)....
So, I did this everyday until I could do the perimeter of this entire roof 10-15 times - it took 6 weeks to get there *lol*
What I did do was put Tina Turner's cassette into a Walkman (her album called SIMPLY THE BEST) and that, in and of itself, was SO MOTIVATING.
And again, if you saw my other post, I kept counting calories, keeping them to 1000 or under per day. Sort of like a crash diet. *laughs*...I had to do this - because I'm diabetic.....among other diagnoses.
Best of luck!!!
Keys - Son - Living with Daughter
However, why post if you were wrong and then defend yourself to the opinions that were posted???? I don't get it. My parents had an open door policy. No matter what, they stuck by my decisions. I moved out twice and moved back in before getting married when apartment life did not work out for whatever reason. I did not move out when I was 16 though as my parents were responsible for me until I was 18. Once I turned 18, they still let me move in and out and I also always had a key. I had a key to the house they lived in, and then I had a key to my Mom's independent living apartment after she sold our family home when our Dad passed away.
I think there are more issues here than you want to admit. I think if you tried counseling instead of arguing with your son about a key, then you may get to the root of the problem. The fact that you won't allow him access to your home symbolizes that you don't want him around unless you are home. You are now telling him that his home is no longer his home by taking the key away.
I think that it is just understood that once one moves out on their own that the original home is not their home, but they are still welcome. I don't think you want to welcome him into what you are calling your home.
When we bought our first home and had children, we became a team. We are a family and even though my husband and I pay the bills, we do tell our children that this is "our" home. They help with chores and that's the best they can do.
I don't want to go on and on, and I'm not bashing you here. I just think you may want to consider some help from something other than this board. You may want to try a church or a counselor to help you with your teenager. I'm sure none of us here are saints by no means and we need to support one another here.
My Mom used to say "You are born, but you're not dead yet." In other words, anyone here can state their opinions on the rearing of their own children, but not until you die can you say "that never happened to me"! My Mom would say this when I would give judgemental remarks of others. This was to open my eyes to the fact that the very same thing I am talking about could happen to me!
Lots of luck and love to you! I certainly hope there is a way to keep an even ground with your son. Blood is thicker than water...
In case of a fire and no keys
I would go through the window but not in a situation like this, different case altogether.
LOL, can't even tell you how many times I left keys in door (on the outside)
and then spent forever trying to find them inside the house before realizing that, oops I did it again! Arrrrggghh! My husband has found them quite a few times coming in, also! :)
I find it interesting that she LEFT the keys. sm
While going against her mom's wishes and going to the wedding was defiance, the fact that she came to mom's work to tell her she was going, then also left the keys to the car at home with the note (rather than TAKING the car herself to the wedding) says something. For whatever reason it was important for her to go to this wedding, and she obviously weighed the consequence of it.
We have ALL done something we were told not to do, or that was risky, or maybe even illegal, because our reason for doing it was stronger than the consequence...and we were willing to accept that consequence, knowing ahead of time what it was.
I'm not excusing her defiance. But I agree with the poster who suggested the plan of action of getting to the root of her motivation rather than ONLY punishment.
Not only have some of the letters worn off, but I have made dents into the keys. sm
My husband saw my keyboard one time and couldn't use it because he didn't know the location of the missing letters.
why is the space bar on the keyboard so long as opposed to other keys? nm
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