keep in mind, you guys raised us.
Posted By: Kendra on 2009-04-21
In Reply to: Reading the first comment on this Youtube - Jen
nm
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Guys will never be able to read your mind - sm
as someone stated below they'd rather to state exactly what you want. Hints, subtle reminders, etc. do not work. If you say you want to go home, he will believe you and go home. Period. That is what he did, silly of you to be mad at him about that one, though you could have spoken up then and there and told him you were just frustrated and really wanted to stay and try to salvage the weekend. A similar thing happened with me and my DH a few months ago except the problem was we didn't leave fast enough. We went to a Nascar race, out first night out together since 3 months previously (and that was the first time in about 3 years), and he had really wanted me to go with him, etc. So we got a babysitter, checked the weather as it was raining but they said it would clear enough for the race to go on. So we went, everything was fine for a while (he almost got slugged trying to prevent a fight between 2 drunks), got to the track, got a beer and went to our seats and the race started. Then the rain came, we saw 12 laps then they stopped the race. I said lets go, he said, no finish your beer. So we stayed, chatted with others there, then after 10-15 minutes left to go to the car. It took about an hour to get back to the car, he is grumbling by now that we should have left sooner, etc. So I jump in and get the truck pulled out and am not far back in line in the lot to get out (race is canceled at this point). We sat for 2 hours waiting to get out of the lot. We were in the farthest out lot so it is the last to be allowed to leave which totally stinks. We moved about 20 feet in 2 hours. I had to listen to him whine and moan for that entire time, as well as listen to Howard Stern on Sirius who I cannot not stand, so needless to say it did not put either one of us in a very good mood. So we spent $180 on tickets we barely used (he/we did not go back the next day for the re-do) and another $40 for the babysitter; so I was less than happy about that. Now he wants me to go with him again this Fall, I told him forget it not after last time. He wants to make up for the miserable time I had but I just don't want to deal with it again in case the same thing happens. I told him maybe next year as long as the weather is good, but for now forget it. ------I hope your husband tries to make it up to you, or at least makes the offer to, even if you turn it down. That in itself is a nice gesture. He did not live up to your expectations and that is why you got so angry. You cannnot make someone as excited about something as you are if they are just not into it. He did not want to be there but was doing it to probably try to make you happy but still had to grumble some; probably trying to get you to entice him in some way, who knows. But he is not going to change and become this romantic fantasy man you seem to want. Just like you aren't going to change and become whatever it is he wants. But you can compromise and do things the other wants to do from time to time, that is about all you can do.
okay guys, my mind is at ease for now...
I'm still COMPLETELY going to be careful and cautious and take someone with me... but finally after I asked, what is expected of me, she wrote me this in response
"Ha,
Basically it is a big house. We travel alot. We need someone trustworthy to be a caretaker of it. Eric owns a few businesses and needs help running errands every once in a while, nothing major. I bartend at night so my hours are crazy.
I'm sure you are wondering if we are weirdo's, so I will attach a pic of us for you .. lol.."
And they look like Barbie and Ken! so yea now im really like uh too good to be true
But definitely being skeptical. I asked where she works, if she tells me and I will go check it out and know it's pretty legit...
Thanks for everyone's advice and caring.
I, too, am with you on this - was raised by someone..
This is a very imperfect world and hence, I never expect children to be perfect - just to do the best that they can and to continue to move in a forward pattern.
We are all humans and we all forget stuff.
My mother ruled with an iron fist and you could eat off her floors. My house is nice, neat, and clean but I'm not iron-fisted nor was I ever nor will I ever be, and my kids are pretty well centered today, young adults with minimal problems, who work and are VERY RESPONSIBLE AND CARING human beings. *S*
Of course, being ruled by someone iron-fisted (and abusive), I ended up in therapy for BEAUCOUP years as a young person; became a better mother because of it years later, proving that history does NOT necessarily repeat itself.....not all who come from abuse continue being abusers!! I broke the family generational history of all the bull and hypocrisy!
Again, this is a very imperfect world - nobody should expect perfection actually.
Not always how they are raised
I too had a pitbull from 9 weeks of age. No one could have told me then that a dog raised as she was would turn out to be nothing by heartbreak. She was well socialized, raised around people, livestock, children, other dogs, and cats. We took her everywhere with us. She went to work with me every day on a ranch. She graduated top dog in her obedience class. She was the most wonderful loving dog, with us...until around the age of 3 years, then something snapped in her little brain and she became the killer the breed is known for. It happened overnight. We came home to find the cat she was raised with from a puppy ripped to shreds with blood all over the garage. After that, her personality changed. She became so spaced out every time she would see a small child, cat, or another dog. We tried to justify it, like a parent always does when their child does something horribly wrong. Then she got hold of another dog at the ranch whom she had known and played with for a year. Fortunately, that dog survived and we were rightfully sued big time. We had her destroyed the next day instead of taking a chance on her getting one of our children or one of the neighborhood children or somone elses pet. It was the hardest decision we have ever made, she was like our child.
The difference between pitbulls and MOST other breeds is that most other breeds bite and walk away, whereas pitbulls don't stop until they kill, it's in their blood. Once this instinct is turned on there is no shutting it off, and you can never know when and if this instinct will come out in your pitbull. I do know some nice old pitbulls who are sweathearts, but to me the risk is too great to take a chance knowing the potential they have to become killers without notice. There are too many other nice breeds out there where you will never have to worry about it. We now have a lab and our children and other pets, not to mention the neighborhood children and pets, are safe. My two cents based on personal experience on the subject.
You raised him. nm
mmm
I raised 2 boys on my own.
Maybe some of these techniques that assisted me can do the same for you:
1) Literally write down a list of rules that you want observed in your home. Not what you think you can get him to do but what you actually WANT. Make copies for his bedroom, for the refrigerator, for his billfold, for every room you can. (I printed mine off and framed them in certificate frames and hung them up. Be specific. Cover all areas.)
2) Literally write down behaviors and language you are not going to tolerate and rank them.
2) Literally write down a list of everything that is important to this youngster. Include friends (by name), electronics (iPod, computer, etc.), privileges (telephone, friends coming over, going out, driving), and places he enjoys going (movies, sports events, eating establishments, etc.). Rank these in order of importance to him.
3) If possible, have your husband (separated, correct?) to meet with you first and agree and provide a united front. Agree on what you expect of him as his parents, what is best for his wellbeing. Write down how you will construct discipline and dispense punishment. Make it appropriate, reasonable and, above all, something you will actually do.
5) Have a meeting with your son (and your husband, if he is onboard with you). Give your son a copy of the new rules, the discipline tactics, the unacceptable behaviors and the punishments. Go over each one of them. Don't argue. Don't explain too much. The lists are clear. Everything has a yes/no as to its use and everything has an if with it as well.
Here's the hardest part: Do what you say. If his language is offensive, he can't talk on the phone. Period. No exceptions, period. Even if you have to unplug it and keep the cord in your pocket. Never argue; never raise your voice. Just calmly make your statement and leave it alone. The more he carries on, the more trouble he will incur. Let him handle the stress of it. If you protect him from the consequences of his actions, he will never, ever change and never learn. (Warning: His behavior WILL get worse before it gets better and then it will wax/wane on occasion just to test the waters.)
Stay with him after school in his tutoring. I showed at school one day in high school for my oldest. One day for 2 classes and that was all it ever took. Made the difference with my youngest, too! Neither one wanted me showing up and sitting next to him in class! Be there but let the teacher do the tutoring. Just be there to enforce his attendance and understand what is happening in the sessions.
Praise good/changed behavior but do not reward it. If it is behavior you are wanting to be an expected behavior, praise it, acknowledge it. Reward exceptional behavior that goes beyond what you have set rules for.
Make sure he is involved in his own caretaking: Laundry, specific chores (no pay -- no ma'am, do not pay any child to contribute to their household), help cook one night a week, yard work, etc.
Be watchful of his music, TV watching, movie going. These can have just as devastating of an impact on him as his so-called friends. Make sure you know who his friends' parents are, what they do; do you agree with how they live? How these friends act? If not, restrict his activities with them.
Get him involved in some type of sport he enjoys and into a youth group if at all possible. It is important.
I hope these tips will help you as much as they did me.
The kids would have been raised as my own and
been able to have what I gave my own. It is sad in that as the birthmother wanted them back, she eventually got them only to turn back to drugs and last I heard kids out on the streets again. One person can only do so much.
Well, I was raised on a farm so...sm
I knew early on what confine meant when we had a cow ready to give birth. My grandpa "confined" her to keep her from running off into the pasture to have it on her own. You can imagine my surprise (disgust actually) when I heard educated doctors use basically the same phraseology towards a human-being...I was a tad disturbed. Then I thought...it was probably a good thing I had been confined then or God only knows which park I may have had my daughter in. LOL
Born and raised here but.......
I have never had sweetbreads or like you call it organ meat, not in my lifetime either unless starving. I know of no one in my family nor have I ever met that eats such. Oh BTW, my big chain grocery carries liver (as I suppose most stores in the US do) but have never seen the other organ meats you speak of so I guess in the south maybe not so popular?
I think that it is just the way most gen x'ers were raised...
Not me, of course. I was at the tail end of Gen X and raised very conservatively, but if you take away discipline and family values from growing children, what do you expect when they are all grown up?
I wouldn't, but that's just me. I was raised that
no matter what life dealt us, we had a safe haven in our parents' home to come back to if we needed it, and I would like my children to feel that way. I think they grow up & move off too soon anyway... :)
I was raised in Port Richmond.
X
Thank you!! I was raised in the south by 2 southerns
and this type of behaviour is completely not tolerated! We moved to the midwest when I was older and still have never been talked to like that until we moved to the east coast!! Maybe it's normal here to not have manners or respect for women??
Born and raised in Ewa Beach,
have not been home in almost 21 years. I think I like Bermuda better.
I turned out really well, thanks to the village that raised me.
And, I had a really wonderful dad. I guess the best thing for you to do is to make your daughter's friend feel welcome in your home. My best friends growing up had great families, and I loved going to their houses for sleepovers, dinners, and just hanging out. Their examples gave me good models for how to care for my family and home when I became a wife and mother. As I said, this was back in the 1960s, and no one talked about such things in those days. So no one ever took me aside and talked to me about what was going on at home. I suppose, had it been going on in this day and age, the schools and authorities would have been contacted and I'd have had counseling, and whatever else is done these days. I'm not saying those are bad things, just that the people in my small town simply went with their intuition. They knew I didn't have a stable home life, so they offered it to me in their own homes. I remember all the mothers of my friends very fondly, to this day. All of them have since passed away. They were wonderful women. One in particular, kept in touch with me for years after I grew up and moved away, and even hand-knit Christmas stockings for my family, which I treasure to this day.
Was born and raised in WV. Now I live
just across the state line in VA. Am still a WV girl at heart. Can't think of a better song to sing. Would rather sit in the sun as opposed to raking leaves though! LOL!
this is true - my daughter is not raised like I was.
nm
Yes, dad has the same hopes as you. Ah yes, Mother raised us right.
Too bad all women are not as perfect as she (rest her soul), nor as fortunate to have had such a loving and dedicated, albeit rough-around-the edges, husband.
born/raised in sacramento, ca
and yes, it has changed tremendously in last 30+ years; so much bigger. i still have family there, but do not like going there anymore.
Yes I am, born and raised in Kentucky and
x
I remember that, but I thought animals can be raised sm
for that purpose, which is bad enough, but sold in hardware stores?
And evidently not raised w/etiquette emphasis!
and evidently not raised w/etiquette emphasis!....
Born and raised there in Wahiawa, HI. Left after sm
my mom remarried. I was soo homesick that I went back. But then I missed my mom too much and then came back to her here. It's been about 13 years since I've been back. I've since married and my "dream" is to take my husband and 3 children "home." It would cost around 8,000 to go for a 1 week vacation with 5 airline tickets, etc. We've looked into it many times.
The funny thing is this. I always have dreams that we are there. All of a sudden I'm at the Honolulu Airport picking up leis. Or I'm on a beach in HI and all my kids are with me. One dream I had was so vivid that I actually asked my husband if we were really there. He said, "Of course we are." And it was just like I remembered it. On the beach. I began crying because I was SOO excited. And then I woke up. Isn't that tragic? haha
I'm part Hawaiian from my paternal grandfather
No just plain old Methodist, raised Baptist (sm)
don't really think it has religious roots though.
You guessed right! Raised in the North and will die in the south!!
m
This is exactly how I dealt with backtalking when I raised my kids.
Honestly, I would have been prepared to smack a kid right in the face for talking back to me, but it never came to that. Not even close! I started with them from the time they could talk. I modeled respectful speech, and when they shouted at me or spoke disrespectfully, they got the stern mom-voice and a time out in their room. By the time they were in school, all I had to do was give them a look. So many people have asked me, "How can you get them under control with just a look?" I guess I just cultivated that super power when they were little! Really, it was just consistency. Today, I have adult children, and when we're gathered for dinner together and we're laughing over our cups of coffee at the end of the meal, invariably one of them will crack some sort of joke or make a comment that will prompt me to give them that look. Immediately, the offender will say, "Sorry, mom!" and give me a sheepish grin. And then they'll all start up about how mom still has the power of the look. My eldest, the real wise-guy, once snapped a picture of me at the precise moment I gave someone The Look, and he now has it taped to his refrigerator door. He says it reminds him to behave as he goes through life, plus it makes him smile. Makes me smile, too!
I raised mine and 3 nieces as one family sm
I did it alone with child support help and being an MT. You can only imagine the hours it took to support 7 kids!!!!
Anyway, we never had money for fun stuff and if we had all the necessities it was a very good month. I finally told them: Look, I make $20-25 when I am working. Working means my hands are on the keyboard. I don't get paid to pick up your junk, clean the kitchen or scrub the toilet. Every time I have to take time away from the desk to do these things FOR YOU, it is costing YOU $20-25 for things you need/want. The more hours I can work, the more we have in the bank.
I can't tell you why they listened, but they did. They got to where they would name a "price" for a bigger job like cleaning the family room alone, doing all 3 bathrooms for me or cleaning the kitchen and then doing the floor in the kitchen and diningroom (it was huge). The "price" might be a movie ticket, a whole weekend with a friend, nail polish, large candy bars, a much-desired item of clothing. Small jobs could be added up and presented to me as a list and negiotations began. They worked, I "paid" and the house was no longer a mess. I also made more money under less stressful conditions.
My own kids, now grown, have all come to me and thanked me for the way I raised them. I used to say, I know you don't like this, but by the time you are 21, you'll thank me. They were all 19 when the said they feel that they were raised better than all their friends and thank you for being a great mom. They marvel at the spotless house I now keep alone and that I am always to calm like I have no stress. I remind them, I only have to take care of myself these days and you all were a LOT of work.
No, born and raised mainly in Tampa area sm
but his family lived in Louisiana for about a year when he was 3 or so. His grandfather was from Texas, though, so it could be from that also. Tampa is not "Southern" like the panhandle area of Florida. The main influence on food here is Cuban. It's funny because I never even ate at a Chinese place until I moved here, and now I love so many different ethnic cuisines - Greek, Cuban, Chinese, and I don't know what all else. I could eat fried plantains and a Cuban sandwich one day, a gyro and some Greek potato salad the next. Maybe that's why I gained so much weight after I met my husband LOL
You could post an update and answer some of the questions raised?
x
My home is Philly also. Love it, born and raised here. nm
x
My advice, having raised 2 boys with voracious appetites
Yes, plan. Plan a week's worth of dinners, plus any other meals that you and your boys will eat at home. Plan a limited amount of snacks. Buy everything in 1 trip if you can and mark what can be eaten randomly and what cannot.
Watch for sales and buy a few things in bulk when you can to save a little. Put your savings into a piggybank or jar. When you save with coupons, do the same thing. This is your eating-out money.
When the snacks for the week are gone, they are gone. Teenagers are perfectly capable of making enough money to fund their snacking and even contributing a bit to weekly food bills or providing their own eat-out money.
I had a $400 budget for myself and 2 boys although, if I had to, I could spend much less.
I never bought sodas, ice cream, cookies. We did have chips, though. Their snacks were more like mini-meals, hahaha.
You should also teach them to cook at this age. I started teaching mine to cook in their early teens and then eventually each had 2 nights a week they cooked for all of us. We had some rather unappetizing meals at first but they got the hang of it and now do an excellent job shopping, cooking and taking care of themselves.
I was raised Southern Baptist, watched the hipoccracy around me
Watch George Carlin's "It's All Bad For You". This was his last stand up and he talks a lot at the beginning about death and relgion. He makes perfect sense! What's ironic to me is that my mom and grandma, who are christians, send me emails with his philosophy a lot. He's a very outspoken athiest so it's funny that the same people who tell me to boycott The Golden Compass would send me funnies from an athiest POV.
Actually I didn't really follow anything/anybody other than logic and by taking science classes. The bible, IMO, is an ancient tool to keep people in line. Fear is a strong motivator and many, many wars have been fought in the name of religion. I think once we let go of dogma we can truely obtain a peaceful society.
Wow - raised in small Southern Baptist Church - can't imagine this. (sm)
As new preachers have come and gone over the years, I can't ever remember one even repainting a room in the parsonage without checking with someone much less getting rid of anything.
This sounds very, very strange and I agree with you that there is something wrong here. Do you not have any kind of an advisory board or anything within the church? Perhaps you should form one and seek out another preacher. Some of these old churches are so lovely. I can't imagine anyone tearing down our old church. It was old when I was married in it almost 40 years ago.
Good luck to you and any other members, past, present or future, of this church.
Hi; I was born and raised here, only went to college in California, my cousin recently......sm
bought a beautiful big house and land in North Carolina near the Virgina border, so much more for the $$$$, great area, I don't know about jobs because her husband is older and can take an early retirement, but it is very temperate there, usually lovely weahter, and not AS MUGGY in the summer as it is if you go further south, and also the seacoast is gorgeous. Hope this helps, God Bless, at least the days are getting longer here, it is actualy 53 degrees as I write this, I think the Winters get longer every year, though, in New England, even though I love NE. Take Care!
I say that all the guys go and just keep the
ladies. I am so not liking the guys this time. Have watched it every single year and there is not a single solid 100% guy there this year. Hoping the girls will do better??? They have the guys beat every which away. There is really no competition here.
are you guys serious????
having a garage door open during the day on a nice day I would hardly call that out of the ordinary or stupid...once again, conversation taken out of context...
Thanks you guys
I only have Wal-Mart here and have not seen it there, but don't go often because they infuriate me. For Prell, I guess I'll suck it up and drive on over there and check. I miss cork too. I miss soda bottles that you returned to the store (when we were broke we just went to the garage and loaded them up and there we were, had enough cash to buy food until payday). Then we had more money and our son did the same so he had cash for things kids have to have, like popsicles and more soda, maybe a slingshot or a pack of beebees for his air gun. Now, it is sad there are only cans and bottles that are worth nothing in this state, we just leave them out to recycle. Big woop. Kids hardly ever have air guns anymore and you can't trust anyone so don't let your kids walk to the store to take back the bottles to buy popsicles. I can't wait to get some Prell! It is like insurance against color grab on the ends of your hair! All you do is shampoo it up on the ends and let it sit awhile and then rinse. Even color comes back most of the time. It smells like my mom too. Sigh. Have you noticed that there are 80 gazillion types of shampoo on the rack at the grocery store sometimes and none that you want? I still say to try that got2B brand shampoo called Squeaky Clean. It smells like heaven and makes your hair clean for two days and shiny too. I am really into that shampoo and magic erasers. They are two of the few things left that are really useful. It is sad to be so old that Magic Erasers sponges turn you on admission. I guess it beats the alternative to being old. Oh cute, I have the TV on the news and there is a pig named Broccoli who fell into a pool in Tracy, California and the firemen had to get him out. He is so cute! He is black and white and VERY BIG. Hayseed needs to see this. Broccoli's owner is petting him and he is so glad to be alive and saved from drowning! Maybe we need to get ourselves a pig. They look really friendly and smart. Maybe we could teach them how to type. My friend has an English bulldog who skateboards like the one on Youtube. His name is Meat. He is a sweetie, but ate a whole couch once when they went to the store. I guess I will stick to smaller dogs and check out the CC&Rs here in case I get a pig too.
Thank you guys
for such encouraging words. I sat in on the consult today with the doctor. They are going to keep my friend in the hospital for eight to ten days under observation, but they feel he will be fine.
Guys are just different than us
Some guys are just more aroused in the morning than at night. If I wanted sex (morning or evening) like you are saying you want, I would not mind either time. I know you are probably young and cannot understand this, but there are a lot of people who have absolutely no sex, and I am one of those- not by choice, but my husband has erectile dysfunction because of diabetes and high blood pressure. He has tried so many things he has read about, not like he does not want to- I am in his corner come hel. or high water because I love him so much. We have closeness and I cherish him beyond words. I probably would say not having been married a year, you or both of you need some kind of counseling in order to work through the problems that are coming through. Just being together a year, you should still be in the honeymoon period. Starving yourself, let me say this- a guy does not care if you are skinny or heavy in the bed, they only care about 1 thing and it is not a figure or lack of. I was married the first time, no organism and finally reached 1 with the 2nd marriage. People do not climax each and every time- some people do continuously, everyone different.
old guys
This is so funny. And yes it does sound like a Marine. I can just picture my step-dad saying these very words and he served in the Marines in Nam. Thanks for the smile!
Thanks guys!
Well you guys made me feel a little better. At least I know I am not the only one. Funny thing is we are both very young, he is 29 and I am 26 and we have been married for only a year. I thought we should still be super hot for each other right? Oh well, it is not me, it is him. The things women have to put up with.
ok,you guys, I had 3 of these and one
girl. I do remember people always saying girls matured earlier, and in some ways that is true. But there was a study with MRI's that definitely showed a lack of frontal lobe growth in boys until much later than girls. Don't worry, they will all be humanoid again in their 30's! LOL
Thanks guys
for all the helpful hints. I think you are right. The bottom of my thigh touches right at the chair edge. This is where I feel discomfort at times, and then my foot will fall asleep. I think I am going to try some of your ideas and see if it helps. It is just so darn uncomfortable and it totally drains me. I am exhausted at the end of my shift, more so than just transcribing. Thanks Again!
Thanks, you guys.
I appreciate all of your support, everyone. Do you sometimes feel like you're walking around with a big red D on your forehead? I do. My own church kicked me off the music team because "divorce is a sin, and God hates divorce." That has been harder on me than the divorce itself is. The ex still attends that church, and everybody feels "so sorry for him" because mean ol' me left him. They don't know the reasons I left, and I will never tell them....but believe me, they are Biblical reasons. It's gotten to where I hesitate to tell anyone at any church I visit that I'm divorced! Another thing, how do you cope with the fact that your long time friends (who are all still married) suddenly act like you have the plague? Maybe I'm being too sensitive. I'm sure you're right....it will get better with time.
Wow guys
wonderful responses and so quickly. I hope we can keep this thread going to help each other out. I wrote down these ideas and am going to start implementing many of them right away. Here are some of my ideas:
1. Utilities - We had 2 cell phones, got rid of one, which was mine, and I hardly ever used it. My husband has to have his because we run our own business. We had 2 house lines, one for our house phone and one for a fax machine. We got rid of one line, and kept the fax line, converting it to accept phone calls as well as faxes.
2. We heat our house with corn which in Northwest Indiana is a pretty cheap way to go. It will cost us approximatey $600.00 to heat our 2600 sq ft house for the winter. We would normally pay almost $450.00 a month with our heat and electric if we paid or electric company who has a monopoly in this area; no where else to go. :-(
3. I used to throw a load or two of laundry in every day, no matter how big the load (I have an energy efficient washer), to save time and so the laundry did not pile up. However, I realized that I was wasting soap, softner, and water even though I have an energy efficient washer. So, I am doing laundry only 2 days a week, maybe three if need be. Washing bigger loads at a time.
4. In regards to above, I use my dryer as a time management issue, because I run the office of our business during the day and transcribe at night. I think I will implement hanging my clothes out next summer, because I do not think it would be efficent in the winter right now - - would it?
5. I buy all snack foods at Aldi's. You save $1.00 to $1.50 an item. I shop at the most least expensive store in the area when possible, only shopping at the higher-priced stores if there is a sale.
6. Turn off lights, computer, etc., when not in use.
7. I buy my cleaning supplies and laundry supplies at our area dollar store. They carry name-brand items as well as generic-brand, but quite a bit cheaper.
I am brain dead now. I am sure there are many more.
Please keep them coming. There were many things that you guys mentioned that I never even thought of, and I am sure we can give each other good ideas to implement. I feel we are in a war here, and we need all the ammunition we can get as we carry out our role as our home managers :-)
Thank you guys so much for your
We really appreciate the support.
I wanted to share a picture of Chewy with you . . . I had wanted to get a picture of the five of them, all lined up getting treats from Daddy, heads turning in unison watching his every move . . .
Where are you guys?...
I have a vacant house in Port Orchard and wonder if I need to be concerned.
Thanks you guys. I can't tell you how much I appreciate
this place and the ability to vent and have you guys listen unconditionally. And thank you for being so kind with your advice. I know what I did wasn't good and almost immediately regretted it. But you all are right, what's done is done, and I should just focus on my family and friends who do want to be part of our lives.
Just a followup, in case everyone was wondering about reaction to my email, I've received two responses. One from a daughter-in-law of my FIL's wife who offered her ear and her prayers and also told me that she has always wanted to say the same things. The other response I received was basically "shame on you for airing your dirty laundry" and told me I sounded like a bitter disturbed person which I guess I am. For right now anyway.
Thanks again, you guys are the best!
I think guys like this should be PUT DOWN.
Come on, you guys....sm
Please review the annals of crime. You'll find plenty of horrendous crimes that have been committed by women.
This one thread has two very sexist remarks in it. One poster signed in "what is it with men, anyway", and this poster opines that women would not commit crimes like the subject of this thread. As a male on the board, I find such remarks objectionable, and rather odd considering that the news has been rife in recent years with the Anthony story, female teachers being arrested for raping their students, and women being arrested for cruelty to animals. Before that, we had the woman who ran a boarding house for older men and poisoned them for their Social Security checks.
Please! You wouldn't tolerate this if it ran the other way.
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