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I have a daughter  that is a sophmore.Wamted this certain college.  Could not convince to stay in state.  It costs her 10,000 dollars more being out of state.  She goes from wanting to b there to not wanting to be there to liking it it to hating it It depends on what day you talk to her. Joined the band dropped out, had problem with boyfriend moved across the campus, than they started dating again, then he ends it. She gets upset wants to come home.  I get a phone call every night.  Everytime we decide to have her transfer or come home she decides to stay.  Has changed her major three times.  What worries me is she is on Student loans that she will be responsible to pay when she graduates. If she leaves college she will have to start paying immediately, where she would have 10 years if the stays in college.  This month she is already over 80 minutes on the cell phone and there is two weeks more to go.  She spends hours talking to the ex-boyfriend and they are on the same campus.  My husband and I are going to talk to a therapist about this because I want to do tough love.  Hang up when she calls crying at 11 p.m.  Telling her if she does not get her act together she will have no choice to leave etc.  He is the softy.   Nothing makes her happy. 

By any chance is your son going to a college in New England. 

the original post.  Sending my son to a boys' home is obviously a last resort.  I don't mean an orphanage or foster care.  I mean a facility that can help to retrain him if I can't.  I love my son very much.  I would rather suffer the pains and guilt of having to send him to a reformity, then to watch him grow up into someone who would hurt someone else and ruin the rest of his life.  I love all of my children equally. 

Secondly, when I took my child to the child psychologist, I had several visits with him first to see if there was something I was doing wrong.  I continued to attend each session with my child, including private sessions for myself after his meeting with my son. 

Thirdly, your comments were not helpful, just nasty, and that's not the kind of help I was looking for.  Anyone who's ever been in this situation already feels inadequate as a parent and doesn't need someone else to slam them.  Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to do just that.

The check was a voided check to Wal-Mart and the Loan company, CNH Capital, knew that and cashed it anyway.  I thought it was illegal for someone cash a check that did not belong to them. 

passive people just sit back ,allow bad things happening, and then whine about it, while aggressive people actually DO SOMETHING about matters they disagree with.

Here is what happened.  When you write a check at this Wal-Mart here, they have you sign something and give the check back.   I stuck it back in my purse.  They are supposed to void.  I was cleaning at my purse that day and paying bills at the same time.  I wrote a $250 to pay a loan.   I really don't know how it happened but I must have torn that one up and sent the $10 voided check to the loan.  A week later, i was looking at my acct online.  I notice that that $10 I had written to Wal-Mart went through twice.  I called the bank and asked why.   They said, "oh, it looks like Wal-Mart double dipped." so I was refunded the money.  I don't know who refunded the money, was it the bank, Wal-mart, I don't know.  Anyway, I became concerned about why that 250 check didn't come in so I called that loan company.  They said $10 was credit to my acct.   I did not connect the 2 at the time.  I thought, 10, I don't write $10 to this acct.  The man told me he would look into it incase there was a mistake.  He called back the day later and said that was a  $10 originally written to Wal-Mart and we cashed it.  So I called the bank and told them.  They then had me go to wal-mart because they said I owed them $10 back.  I go to wal-mart and they say no it is the Telecheck, company they use for this service and they thanked me for trying to clear it up and said Telecheck will be contacting me.  So I get a letter in the mail saying I owe $40 plus I am not allowed to write checks anywhere that uses their service until I pay that $40 back. 

What scares me is that that check said VOID on it and that other bunch was still able to cash it and get their money, which I think was dishonest of them...also my bank let it go through.  Now what if I were to loose a bunch of those type checks and someone cashes it AGAIN.  Man I would be out a lot.  Do you think any of this is right?  TIA.   

Layoffs in the North Pole

Story by Bill Perkins

In a press release this morning Santa Claus announced the layoff of nearly 800,000 elf employees. The announcement was completely unexpected despite the current economic situation.

Due to the failing economy, and many companies cutting costs wherever they can, including advertising, Mr. Claus has lost several endorsement jobs.

Mr. Claus is seeking government aid, requesting his own bailout package from several different governments. However, he is meeting a great deal of resistance. Many toymakers and distributors, namely Walmart, Playskool, and the Chinese government, are lobbying against the bailout. They say Santa's "Free Toy for Every Child" program is a seasonal monopoly, and it generally takes four months to recover the losses sustained from his "good deeds."

Children across the globe will feel the impact this Christmas, particularly the naughty ones. Traditionally, naughty children receive lumps of coal from Santa on Christmas. Mr. Claus has no coal to give, though, as it was part of the elves' severance packages. It is Santa's hope that it will at least be enough to keep his former employees warm through the winter.

When asked if there was any hope of the elves returning to work next year, Santa replied, "It doesn't look very promising. The elves are like family to me; I love them all very dearly. Unfortunately, illegal immigrants work for a lot less, and I don't have to provide benefits, so that's probably what I'll have to do. It was a difficult decision to make, but it's necessary if I want to keep the business in operation."

The elves aren't the only ones hurting. The reindeer are suffering a great deal more. Mr. Claus has had to auction off much of his breeding stock just to stay operational until Christmas Eve. (See related story on page 5, "McDonald's Debuts new Christmas Menu.) It is questionable at this point how much longer Santa will be able to make his annual flight.

Could this be the beginning of the end of Santa Claus? Only time will tell for sure.

When my children were teenagers they did not drive at all.  Even tho I worked full time, I took then where they needed to go & picked up to return home.  Explained to them that if I could not take then, they did not need to go.  This included the prom....No discussion, no argument.  They understood that I am their parent, not a friend & besides, I was not going to pay insurance for teenagers.  My youngest twins graduated in 1986 and after their freshman year in college (no car) I had them take defensive driving.  They purchased their own vehicles.  The year they graduated high school, several schools in the surrounding communities lost, if I remember, around 10-12 teenagers in car accidents......The twins I am referring to are now 36 years old.

OK--number one, since no one knows me, you don't know that I am interfering, or will ever interfere, just came here to "vent," since this board is anonymous.  Have been nothing but supportive of my daughter and kept my feelings about the ex to myself--never say anything critical to my granddaughter.  Number two, Emily DID get an Easter basket from her mother--just not a huge one crammed with candy, toys, and unnecessary cr**.  My former son-in-law needs to pay his back child support before he buys this type of thing.  Number three, my GD's father is the one who has always spoiled her, and my daughter has HAD to be the disciplinarian and "heavy."  Finally, for those who said to be more conscientious with dental care, my daughter, who is self-employed, had to beg him to carry dental insurance with his company after Emily was born--he said it was "unnecessary," since he has false teeth and would never benefit from it personally.  This is the kind of father he was/is. 

Thank you to all who offered kind advice and sympathy.

I understand that it is a poor state.  It also has no state income tax.  I've done as much research as possible for discovery, but I certainly appreciate any and all input.  I'm told it's very beautiful.  He wanted to go where he could do cross-country skiing, etc.

While all divorces are different, if I mentioned his last name it would stand out big-time.  He comes from money, but has never been materialistic (but I was fortunate to have the same situation)..  I know he's a saver big-time, so that's my aim.  His mother bought a house for him for $130K, which he admitted.  It's not revenge, either. I wish him the best.  Like Donald Trump says, "It's nothing personal, it's just business."  Oh, survival, too!

The irony is that both our families are just about identical. My brother is paying for my $300 per hour lawyer.  Full disclosure here... 

Thanks for taking time to provide your 2 cents, when you could have been making huge bucks from the Q!