just so you know, many states have laws
Posted By: raising my granddaughter on 2007-12-19
In Reply to: I am going to flame your response - Puzzled.
against any corporeal punishment now, especially for "kinship" care (relatives raising kin children). For example, in many states I cannot even give push ups or running laps as punishment, forget about spanking! And throwing cold water on a child would get the child taken away from me. There are laws you can't withhold food as punishment or send a child to be early. There are over 5 million children being raised by relatives and just under 600,000 in state foster care. Things ARE much different now.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
I don't know current laws or laws in your state but sm
I was told they had to have 3 complaints before they paid a visit so just relax now that you did your cleaning and are prepared. Always best to prepare for the worst! Good luck to you with the divorce. I could have said your story!
In most states...sm
From my own personal experience, in some states child support is until the age of 18 UNLESS the child is going to college full time, in which case it runs until 21 or the time the child is no longer a full time college student. That's how it was when my sister and I were covered under child support from my father, and that's what it is here in a different state for my ex-husband to pay for his son. :)
In the credits it states that some of the
eliminations are discussed with the producers.
Going to the source and this is what the CDC states about
HPV in men.
http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/STDFact-HPV-and-men.htm#cancer
No, actually one of the lowest COL states in the U.S.
Oklahoma.
I have a friend who works cleaning houses (we decided it would be too weird for her to clean my house) and she charges $30/hour. It works out to about the same thing - it takes between 2-3 hours to clean my house.
Not true in MOST states
I believe Idaho is the only state where the age of consent is 18, most states are 16. And even then, the perp usually has to be at least 4 years older. Even if this was true, this would of course be the absolute worst thing to do. She's 17 and it sounds like he's only a year older. This would definitely ruin your relationship with your daughter. If she just lost her virginity at 17, that's not bad nowadays anyway. I know it's hard to hear that your baby is growing up, but just make sure she's completely educated on everything that goes with having sex and hope that she'll make safe decisions.
there's a states forum here, hit TX once there..NM
Go for it. Most states cannot even get decent
immigration reform laws passed because of the business lobby. How about we take all the out of work American and have the states and feds hire them as immigration officers? Then they could have decent benefits and there might be enough manpower to hunt down all the hundreds of thousands illegal immigrants and immigrants who do not speak English (what is that threshold going to be because I know some teenagers who are deficient in this area) and then we can process them all (more jobs for OOW Americans) back to their countries of origin. Of course, we would have to raise everyone's taxes to pay for all the salaries and benefits of all the new government employees, the holding facilities, the transportation and court costs. And of course, prices would go up across the board for goods and services that previously used cheap labor, and all those signs in Spanish and Vietnamese and Portuguese and whatever else can be repainted or reprinted in good ole American English, which our kids won't even be able to read because of the rotten public school systems where we had to pull even more money out of to pay for all the additional immigration reform costs. Then we can write all new, mega-restrictive immigration laws and create new testing centers and monitoring laws and now all the immigrant rounder-uppers can become babysitters, or maybe we could just section off part of the country, say....North Dakota...as a holding area for potential immigrants to stay for an allotted period of time until they are able to pass all the benchmarks for citizenship within the designated time frame. We can implant RFID chips in each one so we can easily track them down if they escape. If they cannot meet the requirements and don't freeze to death or get trampled by a buffalo herd, then they are sent back to their home country to try again in 10 years or never. We can then tear down the Statue of Liberty and return it to France.
Some States will allow you to transfer
your kids to a public school in a different town/district but you have to pay A LOT of money to do so. Many times it' just as cost effective to send them to a local private school rather than a public school in a different district.
eBay policy states.....sm
that the sender has 30 days to send the product. If they don't or can't prove they sent it then you can file a complaint with eBay, and they'll check with the seller who will have to either prove they sent the item (i.e. provide postal information with confirmation #s, insurance information, etc) or the seller will have to refund the money. They do tell you that if the seller has "disappeared" that they may not be able to get the money back; however, at the same time they will block them from selling again. My husband & I have bought a lot of stuff on ebay as well as sold a lot. We always ship within 72 hours and most items we've won we've received with a week. I did have one purchase that the seller kept coming up with excuses for not sending it until the 30 days came and eBay contacted her to ship it or else and she finally sent it... but she did refund my shipping fees because of the aggravation and she wasn't asked to do that.
I just heard on Friday that one of the states out
west is considering paying the mother $500 to carry her child to term rather than have an abortion!!! They feel the mother will want the money and carry the child. When will this madness end?
I have bought 4 homes in 4 different states
with my husband and I am an IC. I have never been asked to get a letter from a service stating I would have work for a period of time. Anyone you contract with, would probably not do that. They cannot promise you anything. WE know that.
BUT what I am asked is how long I have been in the business. That seems to matter the most, as it should. And when I say *over 32 years*, then there is no problem.
If you are happy with you mortgage company and have good rates, then just explain to the loan officer how your job works and emphasize that you have been in the business for 6 years.
As an aside - the last mortgage officer knew I was self employed but when we went in with our W-2s and 1099s, he was shocked at my earnings. He said, *Most of the time, self-employed means no income and a lot of deductions." Make sure your mortgage company knows you make money at this and are not using it as a tax write off.
Good luck to you! and congratulations on your new house! 
I heard that in some states you can bill the MD
I heard this quite a few years ago, never tried it....but our time is as valuable as anybody else's time (outside of emergencies/extenuating circumstances) and I worked for an MD who kept the patients waiting for 5 hours in his waiting room....the elderly were the victims in this case....it was 20+ years ago. And don't you just hate waiting in the waiting room for over an hour and then waiting in that examining room for any length of time beyond 10-15 minutes?!?! Usually a 30-45 minute wait and I don't like that either....
Most of us have places to go, people to see, things to do.....all as important as anybody else.....they are not gods....far from it, actually.
Yeah, they pay our bills/mortgage/rent but doesn't mean we have to like 'em....*l*
thanks for the place to vent...
I think different states may differ in rules...
but the answer was yes in my case. He "quit claim" deeded the house to me, but the mortgage was still in both names. No way is a bank or mortgage company going to let one off the hook in case the other defaults.
Hope this helps.
Same here - retire, hop in an RV, travel the states!
x
if he states he thinks he may be an alcoholic, he is asking for help
nm
I thought in most states kids had to be 12 or at least 10 -sm
to be left alone w/o an adult. So even if your state is 10 they are in the wrong for having an 8-1/2-y/o look after a 6-y/o. CPS or whoever should put a stop to that right away I would think. I would report them and also apply for formal visitation via grandparent rights and get it on the records in court. If things escalate with the abuse maybe try for temporary custody of the child (with the aim of getting full custody in the future). I am guilty of sleeping in until 8 or even 9 sometimes but my DH is up at 7 or earlier with the kids and they are 8 and 10 and I don't have to worry too much about them doing stuff they shouldn't. Plus I am usually awake, just lying in bed trying to go back to sleep which never happens!
Wal-Mart corporate policy states....sm
that if you ask the person at the kiosk overseeing the self-check out lines to check you out they have to. Wal-Mart has gotten a bad reputation for not hiring people and then claiming their lack of check out lines being manned by humans is due to not having enough staff. Bull crap - if you pay well you can get good employees. I NEVER check myself out and provide free labor. I rarely go there but when I do, if there's more than 4 people in line ahead of me then I go to the self-check out lines and have the person overseeing them check them out. A couple of times they gave me flack about it and I requested the store manager be called... and then the store manager made them ring me up because the manager knew it was corporate policy.
My husband has asked the manager why they even have 20 checkout lines when he's never seen more than 2 cashiers working at any time of the day. Good question I say!
Of course not - The United States show some dignity?
So typical of our so-called institutions of higher education taking cheap shots at an INVITED speaker.
As to cruel and petty dictator, you have to look no further than the Whitehouse...
CASA, etc in many states have been known to threaten kids...
Without seeing the tapes, etc, I can't blame the kid, especially not knowing the age. Mine, at 7, was chastised by the court-appointed social worker and GAL (guardial ad litem)about not wanting to be with her dad, even though the social worker had learned and verified that her dad had molested another child and attempted to molest an animal (not to mention all his porn they found). Courts and court-appointeds were determined she would "learn to like" her dad,and it was all my fault that she didn't. According to them, he was only trying to help her relax when he had her hand up her nightgown. I have the only appeals court record in the country that I know of (has been cited in several court analyses nationwide) where they specifically stated it is "normal male behavior" for a 50-YO man to be looking at pix of girls believed to be 12 to 15 years old. She is back home with me finally and recovering from the nightmare, but it was not done with any help from the family courts. The Titleman case is the only one to actually be accepted by the US Supreme Court for review.
some of these states make home visits
monthly to monitor, speaking with the children in private, so ya, it could happen. Educate yourself on the laws of your state and then give yourself a break.
Schools' hands are tied in many states....
My daughter teaches third grade. This year, she had a child from Yemen, an Arabic country. His dad, who barely speaks English, bought a convenience store and ran that. His mother speaks NO English. His older brother of two years understands a little more English and can speak it better though. But my daughter's student can't even read the instructions, read English, take a test, nothing. WHat is more frustrating, she is still expected to teach him like the other children (they have no special teachers for ESL students), even though she can't communicate with him. His father is very considerate if he is absent and writes her a note (very badly written at that) but that's all. Now get this....he can't understand anything in class, my daughter is expected to just give him F's or whatever and just keep going, BUT when standardized testing is going on, she is REQUIRED to count his grade in her overall classroom score, which brings the overall score DOWN. Now how dumb is that? This was going on all year but she went in last week, no child, no explanation. She gets a call from the office asking to look in his desk to check for any books he may have left. Come to find out, she was told he and his family had been put on the next plane OUT of the country and back to where they came from. We believe they were here illegally BUT how did they get here, buy a store, and go about their business? Our government allowed their being here....they should be required to explain why that family was here in the first place and why they suddenly disappeared. Our government is so busy trying to cater to everyone, they are screwing the rest of us.
Some states require a Doing Business As license if you work
s
ex in-laws
Thank you for your well thought-out reply. I plan on discussing this with him and at the same time will try to remain respectful of the fact that he loves his aunt. He is of course home for Christmas (and other holidays) and will be back here permanently around April. There are too many details of this situation to put on this board but I thank you again for your advice.
The in-laws
Hey, I am not sure if they are freaky, or not. I was raised in that church when I was young and switched as an adult. Since Matthew Winkler's father is also a COC minister it would be doubtful if he even knew about any of his son's warped proclivities (if he had them) since church members rarely, if ever, talk about things of that nature). It makes me sad to see that those grandparents are being labeled as warped just because of their religious beliefs. I must tell you that I have never met a member of that church who was a "bad person" and I have had exposure to lots of them. I have to wait and see the show. I am very interested in what she has to say. I would also like to see the in-laws go on the show to present their concerns. I think it would help everyone, including the children when they would be old enough to see it. So many times things like this go on with women and men we know and I think it is important to understand any signs to watch for so as to prevent what happened with their family from happening to anyone else. If, however, Mary is really guilty and just wanted a way out (which is a possibility) I believe the children belong with the grandparents and that Mary should relinquish her parental rights. It would be nice too if she would admit if she was truly an abused woman, or not. They can't try her twice.
Where do you think laws come from?
Most of man's laws are based on the Bible, the 10 Commandments usually.
I am not comparing gay people to criminals. Based on your statement that God expects us to be happy, regardless of what form that happiness might take, I am asking the question that, if it is okay with God for a person to be gay if it makes them happy, is it okay with him for a person to steal, commit adultery or murder if it makes them happy.
You changed the context of the subject, not me. And for what it is worth, there are still states in which sodomy is a crime, therefore gay sex is a crime. There is even a state where adultery and fornication are a crime. http://www.sodomy.org/laws/
I get this too...especially my in-laws...
nm
In-laws
I guess I lucked out with in-laws. When we married, I referred to his parents as "mom" and "dad" from that point on. When my SIL had kids, we *both* became aunts and uncles to them and DH is uncle to my sister's 2 kids. I don't think you're being sensitive and good for you for teaching your kids differently!
Smokers inflict cancer causing agents to people every day, but there are states that
public places anymore and I say, hurray, it's about time! The state of Arizona passed a law overwhelmingly to ban smoking in public places and now it's in effect. If you're caught smoking in a public place you'll either be told to put it out, leave, or be arrested.
Speaking of walking through smoke when going in or leaving a store, I know exactly what that poster means, the only thing is I had to bring my child into that store with me. Prior to the new law, I told the manager how awful that was for me and my child and they had the trashcan/ashtray units moved further away. Still, it amazed me that people would still stand right there at the door and puff away with no regard for anyone else. Well, now, they really have it, but good. It's ILLEGAL to smoke anywhere near a public location, ie grocery stores, malls, library, hospital, any other stores and they can't smoke outside the doors or even on the property itself.
My in-laws have a dog who has seizures...
This dog seems to being having grand mal seizures because it urinates on itself and they last a least a minute. The dog has had this several times but they haven't taken him to the vet because of the cost involved. My mother-in-law gives him an aspirin and puts "cold packs" on him when he is seizing. I'm not sure why but she is a little strange. I would take the dog to a vet. They can probably do test to see if she is indeed having seizures. Good luck!
The smoking might have to be done outside if the laws there say
s
This goes along with sweet in-laws...
My son was born in September 1994. We found out 8 weeks later he had pyloric stenosis after changing formula, etc. I worked in Radiology as an MT at the time and had the GI study done there. The radiologist was so nice, but informed me that our son was severely dehydrated and would need urgent surgery.
The surgery took place the night before Thanksgiving. My in-laws brought my husband and I a plate of their meal with utensils and all. Thankfully, our son (first born) came through with flying colors and is in perfect health now.
My parents were supportive on the phone, but my Dad had just been diagnosed with cancer and was too weak to make it in to see us.
So, I guess it was the worst and the best Thanksgiving ever and one that I will surely never forget for a very long time. ![Leaf](http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_4_40.gif")
![](http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb097&pp=ZUxdm486YYUS")
I have the same problems with my in-laws
Last year we got them a gift certificate to the local grocery store that they always go so and we decided to do the same again this year. Everyone has to eat. They live in a small condo and have all the money in the world to buy what they want and they're at an age where they don't need anything.
I understand some of these laws but
not being able to send a child to be early. Who gets to decide what is "early"?
What about lesh laws?
If you have a pet running around in this town you will be fined up to $500 whether the dog did anything while running about or not.
I do hope the little girl gets past her fear of dogs someday. I have a 6-year-old that has that same fear but she has never gotten bit so I don't know why she has that fear. She has turned now many playdates because of those tiny, barking house dogs. One friend in particular wanted dd to come over and play so bad but dd refused because of the dog and I explained that to the mother. I suggested that the litlte girl is welcome to come play here, after consulting with dd first and she agreed. ( I wanted to make sure it really was the dog not the other girl). So they come over, with their little barking, jumping dog and turned it loose in our house and dd started screaming and crying and very rudely ran them both off. I felt bad because dd bluntly told them to leave but I did not get on to her too much about it because it did not make sense to me. I had just explained that dd was very scared of the dog so why did they bring it to my house and turn it loose in my living room.  The dog was not mean, just very very hyper.
MIL shares that same fear and does not know why. She quit visiting a friend because their hyper little dog kept jumping on her and the owners would not do anything to control it. I guess dd and MIL are 2 peas in a pod when it comes ot that.
Must be nice to know you have in-laws ...sm
who would help. My parents couldn't help. My father in law couldn't either BUT mother in law could but wouldn't I know because she is so tight. She would just say oh well loose all your sh**. She wouldn't come off her money.
we just had to ask our in-laws for $500 loan
they're like a bank to us ;)
we just had to ask our in-laws for $500 loan
they're like a bank to us ;)
we just had to ask our in-laws for $500 loan
they're like a bank to us ;)
The laws where I live
forbid a teacher from having a sexual relationship with a student period...and I think that's how I prefer it.
I didn't even think about laws differing in other states. :/
My in-laws are overkill -sm
my DH cannot stand his parents though we do not deny them their grandchildren, though we have never left them alone with them. They were very neglectful to him when he was growing up, verbally abusive, etc. His mom would badger me when we were first married about having grandchildren. She assumed (wrongly) that we would give us any children we had to them on the weekends as all their friends had/did. Our kids have been nothing but trophies to them. My MIL used to really hate the fact that I had a family, once my mom died a few years ago she did a complete turnaround and no longer hassles me when I go to see my family. She is the reining grandma now and so no one to be jealous of. This does not endear her to me obviously. Their other son, the golden child (and oh favored one who spent 20+ years going to school, getting money from M&D, and mooching off friends for those 20+ years--would stay in their homes until kicked out), he finally bought a home at age 40 (with $40K from M&D), has never married or had kids, my DH says it is because of their childhood, though he was the favored one so who knows. Anyways we moved 2 hours away (were about 10 miles from them) just so we would not have to see them every day once we had kids. Even then they came every 2 weeks and in the beginning badgered us to give them the kids for extended periods of time (I am talking 6/7 days of the week, every week). I don't think we have ever invited them here, they just call up and say we are coming. I then tell them yeh or ney basically. They come for every holiday that they can and birthday, though this year my one did not want them to come on her birthday, so I put them off a week. She wants it to be just us 4 for a change and to all go out to dinner....she will be 9 next week. I found that interesting but I told her it was her decision, and that they wanted to come, etc. Usually she is very accommodating and is always thinking of others so I am not going to make her have her grandparents come for her special dinner out if she does not want them to (she just saw them last weekend). So they will come on the 15th instead which is fine with me. So I do try to be accommodating to them, I am the one who calls them, I visit with them for an hour or two on my rare trips to see my family (2-3x a year) or stay the night so they can have more time, depends on my work schedule, I see my in-laws about once a month now (call weekly), and my family once during the summer, maybe Spring break and around Christmas. Obviously this won't last forever, they are 74 and 79 now but longevity is in the dad's family (late 80's to 90s). Both are in relatively good health, mom is a type 2 diabetic, dad has had bladder cancer twice, but otherwise doing very well. My DH insists on taking in the survivor when one dies. He has a very strong guilt complex, they did their job well on him. Obviously I don't want that, but not going to worry about that right now. Many sides to this coin/subject.
I am in the same boat. I have no desire to go to my in laws for sm
Christmas Eve and my husband is making us all go. It's the biggest fight every year. I am dreading it so much. I wish he would listen to me, but he won't. I don't see a long future for me and my husband. It's always his way or NO way. I should just say I am not going and not go, but IF I do that then Christmas morning will be miserable. He will take it out on me and the kids. I think he's just like them!
He pouted all day Thanksgiving because I refused to go to his mother's house where his siblings (the culprits) would be. The thing is this: They've never liked me. Never. It's been almost 10 years and everything is my fault. For a long time it scarred me, but then I realized that it wasn't me, it's them. And then to have my husband force me to be around this hateful, evil people is beyond understanding. I am NOT looking forward to Christmas eve. I swear, I just want to stay here (I've already celebrated with great friends and my family) and just want to enjoy Christmas eve and Christmas with people (my kids) whom I adore. But, it won't be that way when you have people in your lives (unfortunately) who are exactly the way you just described.
Ugggh. Not looking forward to this weekend. And to top it off, my birthday is Saturday. I told him that I wanted to NOT go to his mom's house for my birthday. That made him mad.
Oh, and don't tell me to put a smile on my face and be nice or put up with it. Until you walk a mile in my shoes where you have 3 sisters and 1 brother who think I am the antichrist, the last thing you can do is smile at these people....And I am a very kind and nice person. these people bring out the worst in me.
TY. We celebrated with the in-laws today,
after making the 2-hour drive, and for once the WHOLE family was there, although we did have to wait for evening for 2. My MIL was sick with a cold, and by the end of the night my FIL was worn out, but with their 2 young great grandsons there being cute and everybody pitching in, things went rather well. It was hard to leave, but I must work tomorrow (new job and all), and driving back to the sad situation with the dog was rough. But then we had a message from the vet school saying my dog LOVES phenobarbital and seems in good spirits (typical of her adventerous breed). So I am hopeful I will be able to see her myself, despite the low staff at the holiday, and decide whether to proceed with MRI or let her go peacefully.
Just FYI on in-laws dog taking aspirin
My mother-in-law has been giving the dog one aspirin every day for about a year now. It is a bigger size dog, probably about 45 to 50 pounds. The dog definitely has something wrong with its brain because of the way it acts. I worry he will turn on them one day. Anyway, apparently aspirin doesn't kill dogs, at least this one anyway.
I have new in-laws (through marriage) who are from Pahrump, NV. Anyone have sm
any info on this place? It looks gorgeous. Good place to visit???
In keeping with the question down below about in-laws...
We have all done our best to accept my brother's wife, but she grates on everybody's nerves. Now, that we can handle, but a few years back my mom bought a new (second-hand) car and gave her old car to my brother. She even gave them $500 to buy new tires for the car.
Then, when my mom's "new" car turned out to be a lemon and had to be in the shop for a week, my SIL refused to let my mom use HER OWN CAR that she had given them while her "new" car was in the shop - even though my SIL was NOT working and my brother had a car to go back and forth to work.
Yes, I know my brother needs to grow a backbone already, but that kind of set the tone for my SIL's relationship with the whole family.
So - what's your in-law story?
At my in-laws' house one Thanksgiving, sm
my brother in law's dog took a crap right in the middle of the living room. My mother-in-law (rest her soul) walked into the kitchen, grabbed a handful of papertowels, wiped up the poop, threw the papertowels out, washed her hands, and sat back down at the table. She was like it was no big deal! We were all laughing like crazy AFTER she sat back down and we saw she was not fazed by it at all. It was too funny.
Any ideas on what to get in-laws for Christmas whom already have everything - sm
and they don't want us spending a lot of money on them either. Thanks for any ideas any of you may have. I am at a loss right now. Thanks again.
Check state laws . . .
In my state your divorce is not finalized until you have been living apart for six months. You file the papers, and have to live separately for six months for it to even be final or legal.
No the in-laws are not an option the only reason - sm
we "borrowed" from them was they did not want us taking a loan and paying interest...so they gave/loaned us $14K interest free, I have it down to $10K so far. That is the extent of their involvment. DH would rather die than have his parents know about this I know that. They do have the money to help but that would put us under their thumb the rest of their lives and I don't think either one of us could deal with that. We do have some assets we can sell that would pay off at least half of the debt, though I don't see him being too thrilled about doing that, it is a good solution to part of the problem. I am considering talking to my brother or my dad, but again he will have a cow when he finds out about that (he will lose face in his mind). He always worries about what others think about him, etc, it gets real wearing at times.
Each state has their own laws regarding transportation s/m
In Michigan, the school HAS to provide transportation for the kids. Someone on here posted they had to have a bus pass that cost $150, that is insane. I'm sure I pay for it on my property taxes, but I hate to think of the person that couldn't afford that.
Our school district buses the middle/high school kids together, which has worked out fine. Middle school starts at the 6th grade. I take my kids to school every day because the bus for them is here at 7:15 a.m. We have a very strange setup for our elementary schools. We have two elementaries that have K-2 grade and then one elementary for 3-5 (we used to have two, but they combined them last year). Being that I have a 2nd and 3rd grader, they both get picked up at the same time (if they were to ride the bus) at 7:15. 3rd grader gets dropped off at 8:25 at his school and my 2nd grader gets dropped off at his at 8:50. So, 7:15 - 8:50? That is insane! We live about 7 minutes from both schools. They do ride the bus home as they are the first ones off.
But as to combining buses with middle/high school with elementary? To me is unacceptable. The bus drivers have a hard enough time controlling the kids. Even with the way that ours is broken out, the youngest grades sit towards the front, with oldest to the back.
And during budget crunch time and the super bought $10k in office furniture? He should be called out on that during a board meeting. I'd also contact the local newspapers so that the word gets around. All school districts are hurting and every little bit helps. If he wants new furniture, it should come out of his salary.
|
