if he states he thinks he may be an alcoholic, he is asking for help
Posted By: there is help out there; utilize it. on 2007-12-30
In Reply to: I'm sick & husband is being mean...just so tired of it - sm - crying all morning, just venting
nm
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Not everyone who goes to a bar is an alcoholic
It's insulting for people to think because you go to a bar/club your an alcoholic. That would be like saying the people who go to church are self-righteous cult members, and then wonder how they married someone who is self-righteous and judgmental of others. Doesn't feel too good does it? I don't go to bars but did when I was younger. I went to meet people (other people who were not alcoholics who also wanted to meet people) I went to bars/clubs because I loved to dance and I did drink but not excessively, maybe 2 or 3 drinks on a Friday or Saturday night or sometimes just a coke with no alcohol, and not every weekend. But I loved to dance and that is mainly why I went. BTW - I met my husband in the service.
alcoholic husband
He has to hit bottom, and only then will he start coming up, if he gets help from AA or something similar....and HE HAS TO WANT TO DO IT.
Alanon can give you some good ideas, and I think the longer you and the children stay and put up with him, you will be coenablers, without even intending to be. When they get backed to the wall they become frightened, swear to never take another drink, but nine times out of 10 they do. They need support, not from you, but from the experts. Your support will come later if he stays clean and sober. Please, the children and you need to leave now, it may be for good, or he might come around and stay dry. Yes, get a lawyer and start proceedings. I wish you all the luck in this world. You're a good mom, don't forget that.
Husband says he is an alcoholic. (sm)
He has a good job, never misses work, never lays around drunk. But has alcohol almost daily. Hides it in his truck, cabinets, etc. and will be drinking a mixed drink when I think he is just having a soda or something like that. He has told me this in the past too and I thought he was kidding. But yesterday he said there is "no doubt about it, I'm definitely an alcoholic." We have had many marital problems and now I am wondering if that is why and I have just been blind to it. Could he really be an alcoholic and me not know it?
I am a recovering alcoholic. Went
to treatment in 1982. Believe me when I say no one admits to alcoholism unless they have a problem. It is a disease of denial, and some deny it all the way to the grave. The first step in recovery is admitting we are powerless over alcohol. Not only is the alcoholic sick, but the whole family because a lot of the time, the family enables the alcoholic to keep on drinking by denying it themselves. Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous can help a lot. In AA, the alcoholic learns how to live sober and learns what to do to change his life, habits, friends, etc. Al-Anon teaches the family how to change what they have been doing. I hope you don't think I am preaching, but I know how it is because I have been there. I do know that if I ever drink again, I won't live because the disease progresses whether we are drinking or not..
i don't think polite will sink in with an alcoholic.
First be a friend and tell her she really needs help. Encourage AA. Offer to take her there. Then set the boundaries, that she either gets help or needs to find another place to live by such-and-such a date.
My husband is a recovering alcoholic. He. too,
held a full-time job, did all the *things* he was supposed to do but came home EVERY night and consumed anywhere from a pint to a quart of liquor (first bourbon and later vodka). He knew he was an alcoholic and would tell you so. One day after months of feeling like crap all the time, he decided it was time to quit. His doctor admitted him to the hospital. He is 6 feet tall and weighed 122 pounds. They kept him for about 3 days and detoxed him. He came home and had a rough few weeks. Thankfully, though, he has been sober now for 15 months. Please encourage your husband to get the help that he needs. My prayers are with you.
Keep that vicious alcoholic out of your home...sm
And tell your husband exactly why. I would leave him if he didn't stand by me in this. This is grossly absurd. If she won't put the plug in the jug, sober up and make amends, she does not deserve to ever see her grandchildren or to set foot in your home.
Divorcing an alcoholic is not an easy thing to do
First and foremost you need to get him away from your children, sounds like they've been around it too long already. Living under the same roof with an alcoholic during a divorce is not the way to go. I'm one of those children and never understood why it took my mother so long to end it (of course that was years and years ago). Just because he is your children's father doesn't mean he should be around them. Obviously he chooses alcohol over his family. Don't bother trying to make it amicable, just get a good attorney. Half the time your hubby won't show up to court anyway! Good Luck!
My husband is an alcoholic currently in rehab for his addiction.
Our marriage has suffered terribly because of his addiction. Actually, I should say my love for him has suffered terribly because of his alcoholism. He is totally dependent on me and I have come to feel more like his mother than his wife. I make the money, pay the bills, take care of our children, basically run the house. He's either always looking for a job or working as a self-employed used engine and transmission salesman/mechanic barely making any money at all.
Recently, I told him I didn't love him anymore and that I was tired of taking care of him. So he entered rehab as a way to win me back and prove his love for me. He calls me at least 20 times a day from rehab. If I don't answer, he will call repeatedly every two minutes or so until someone answers or he has to go back to group or class or whatever.
He will get out of rehab at the end of this month and fully expects to come back home and provie that he is changing. My problem is this, I don't want him to come home. I have enjoyed the peace I've had with him gone (save for the constant phone calls). However, I fear that if I am honest with him and tell him over the phone that I don't want him back, this will affect his sobriety and basically he will see no reason to finish rehab and remain sober. He tells me repeatedly that he is doing this for me. I've told him he should be doing it for himself or at the very least, his kids and he will just agree with me and change the subject.
He's not a bad person. He just has his problems and I'm tired of feeling like I have this anchor around my neck all of the time. While he's been gone I've enjoyed spending time with my kids. I've gotten together with my girlfriends for dinner and movies and just had girls' night out. I've spent time visiting my mom and sister and helping my niece plan her upcoming wedding. Without my husband around, I've just feel free to have fun and do stuff for me.
How can I tell him that I want a divorce without feeling responsible for affecting his rehabilitation? How would you handle it?
In most states...sm
From my own personal experience, in some states child support is until the age of 18 UNLESS the child is going to college full time, in which case it runs until 21 or the time the child is no longer a full time college student. That's how it was when my sister and I were covered under child support from my father, and that's what it is here in a different state for my ex-husband to pay for his son. :)
In the credits it states that some of the
eliminations are discussed with the producers.
Going to the source and this is what the CDC states about
HPV in men.
http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/STDFact-HPV-and-men.htm#cancer
No, actually one of the lowest COL states in the U.S.
Oklahoma.
I have a friend who works cleaning houses (we decided it would be too weird for her to clean my house) and she charges $30/hour. It works out to about the same thing - it takes between 2-3 hours to clean my house.
Not true in MOST states
I believe Idaho is the only state where the age of consent is 18, most states are 16. And even then, the perp usually has to be at least 4 years older. Even if this was true, this would of course be the absolute worst thing to do. She's 17 and it sounds like he's only a year older. This would definitely ruin your relationship with your daughter. If she just lost her virginity at 17, that's not bad nowadays anyway. I know it's hard to hear that your baby is growing up, but just make sure she's completely educated on everything that goes with having sex and hope that she'll make safe decisions.
just so you know, many states have laws
against any corporeal punishment now, especially for "kinship" care (relatives raising kin children). For example, in many states I cannot even give push ups or running laps as punishment, forget about spanking! And throwing cold water on a child would get the child taken away from me. There are laws you can't withhold food as punishment or send a child to be early. There are over 5 million children being raised by relatives and just under 600,000 in state foster care. Things ARE much different now.
there's a states forum here, hit TX once there..NM
Go for it. Most states cannot even get decent
immigration reform laws passed because of the business lobby. How about we take all the out of work American and have the states and feds hire them as immigration officers? Then they could have decent benefits and there might be enough manpower to hunt down all the hundreds of thousands illegal immigrants and immigrants who do not speak English (what is that threshold going to be because I know some teenagers who are deficient in this area) and then we can process them all (more jobs for OOW Americans) back to their countries of origin. Of course, we would have to raise everyone's taxes to pay for all the salaries and benefits of all the new government employees, the holding facilities, the transportation and court costs. And of course, prices would go up across the board for goods and services that previously used cheap labor, and all those signs in Spanish and Vietnamese and Portuguese and whatever else can be repainted or reprinted in good ole American English, which our kids won't even be able to read because of the rotten public school systems where we had to pull even more money out of to pay for all the additional immigration reform costs. Then we can write all new, mega-restrictive immigration laws and create new testing centers and monitoring laws and now all the immigrant rounder-uppers can become babysitters, or maybe we could just section off part of the country, say....North Dakota...as a holding area for potential immigrants to stay for an allotted period of time until they are able to pass all the benchmarks for citizenship within the designated time frame. We can implant RFID chips in each one so we can easily track them down if they escape. If they cannot meet the requirements and don't freeze to death or get trampled by a buffalo herd, then they are sent back to their home country to try again in 10 years or never. We can then tear down the Statue of Liberty and return it to France.
Some States will allow you to transfer
your kids to a public school in a different town/district but you have to pay A LOT of money to do so. Many times it' just as cost effective to send them to a local private school rather than a public school in a different district.
eBay policy states.....sm
that the sender has 30 days to send the product. If they don't or can't prove they sent it then you can file a complaint with eBay, and they'll check with the seller who will have to either prove they sent the item (i.e. provide postal information with confirmation #s, insurance information, etc) or the seller will have to refund the money. They do tell you that if the seller has "disappeared" that they may not be able to get the money back; however, at the same time they will block them from selling again. My husband & I have bought a lot of stuff on ebay as well as sold a lot. We always ship within 72 hours and most items we've won we've received with a week. I did have one purchase that the seller kept coming up with excuses for not sending it until the 30 days came and eBay contacted her to ship it or else and she finally sent it... but she did refund my shipping fees because of the aggravation and she wasn't asked to do that.
I just heard on Friday that one of the states out
west is considering paying the mother $500 to carry her child to term rather than have an abortion!!! They feel the mother will want the money and carry the child. When will this madness end?
I have bought 4 homes in 4 different states
with my husband and I am an IC. I have never been asked to get a letter from a service stating I would have work for a period of time. Anyone you contract with, would probably not do that. They cannot promise you anything. WE know that.
BUT what I am asked is how long I have been in the business. That seems to matter the most, as it should. And when I say *over 32 years*, then there is no problem.
If you are happy with you mortgage company and have good rates, then just explain to the loan officer how your job works and emphasize that you have been in the business for 6 years.
As an aside - the last mortgage officer knew I was self employed but when we went in with our W-2s and 1099s, he was shocked at my earnings. He said, *Most of the time, self-employed means no income and a lot of deductions." Make sure your mortgage company knows you make money at this and are not using it as a tax write off.
Good luck to you! and congratulations on your new house! 
I heard that in some states you can bill the MD
I heard this quite a few years ago, never tried it....but our time is as valuable as anybody else's time (outside of emergencies/extenuating circumstances) and I worked for an MD who kept the patients waiting for 5 hours in his waiting room....the elderly were the victims in this case....it was 20+ years ago. And don't you just hate waiting in the waiting room for over an hour and then waiting in that examining room for any length of time beyond 10-15 minutes?!?! Usually a 30-45 minute wait and I don't like that either....
Most of us have places to go, people to see, things to do.....all as important as anybody else.....they are not gods....far from it, actually.
Yeah, they pay our bills/mortgage/rent but doesn't mean we have to like 'em....*l*
thanks for the place to vent...
I think different states may differ in rules...
but the answer was yes in my case. He "quit claim" deeded the house to me, but the mortgage was still in both names. No way is a bank or mortgage company going to let one off the hook in case the other defaults.
Hope this helps.
Same here - retire, hop in an RV, travel the states!
x
I thought in most states kids had to be 12 or at least 10 -sm
to be left alone w/o an adult. So even if your state is 10 they are in the wrong for having an 8-1/2-y/o look after a 6-y/o. CPS or whoever should put a stop to that right away I would think. I would report them and also apply for formal visitation via grandparent rights and get it on the records in court. If things escalate with the abuse maybe try for temporary custody of the child (with the aim of getting full custody in the future). I am guilty of sleeping in until 8 or even 9 sometimes but my DH is up at 7 or earlier with the kids and they are 8 and 10 and I don't have to worry too much about them doing stuff they shouldn't. Plus I am usually awake, just lying in bed trying to go back to sleep which never happens!
Wal-Mart corporate policy states....sm
that if you ask the person at the kiosk overseeing the self-check out lines to check you out they have to. Wal-Mart has gotten a bad reputation for not hiring people and then claiming their lack of check out lines being manned by humans is due to not having enough staff. Bull crap - if you pay well you can get good employees. I NEVER check myself out and provide free labor. I rarely go there but when I do, if there's more than 4 people in line ahead of me then I go to the self-check out lines and have the person overseeing them check them out. A couple of times they gave me flack about it and I requested the store manager be called... and then the store manager made them ring me up because the manager knew it was corporate policy.
My husband has asked the manager why they even have 20 checkout lines when he's never seen more than 2 cashiers working at any time of the day. Good question I say!
Of course not - The United States show some dignity?
So typical of our so-called institutions of higher education taking cheap shots at an INVITED speaker.
As to cruel and petty dictator, you have to look no further than the Whitehouse...
CASA, etc in many states have been known to threaten kids...
Without seeing the tapes, etc, I can't blame the kid, especially not knowing the age. Mine, at 7, was chastised by the court-appointed social worker and GAL (guardial ad litem)about not wanting to be with her dad, even though the social worker had learned and verified that her dad had molested another child and attempted to molest an animal (not to mention all his porn they found). Courts and court-appointeds were determined she would "learn to like" her dad,and it was all my fault that she didn't. According to them, he was only trying to help her relax when he had her hand up her nightgown. I have the only appeals court record in the country that I know of (has been cited in several court analyses nationwide) where they specifically stated it is "normal male behavior" for a 50-YO man to be looking at pix of girls believed to be 12 to 15 years old. She is back home with me finally and recovering from the nightmare, but it was not done with any help from the family courts. The Titleman case is the only one to actually be accepted by the US Supreme Court for review.
some of these states make home visits
monthly to monitor, speaking with the children in private, so ya, it could happen. Educate yourself on the laws of your state and then give yourself a break.
Schools' hands are tied in many states....
My daughter teaches third grade. This year, she had a child from Yemen, an Arabic country. His dad, who barely speaks English, bought a convenience store and ran that. His mother speaks NO English. His older brother of two years understands a little more English and can speak it better though. But my daughter's student can't even read the instructions, read English, take a test, nothing. WHat is more frustrating, she is still expected to teach him like the other children (they have no special teachers for ESL students), even though she can't communicate with him. His father is very considerate if he is absent and writes her a note (very badly written at that) but that's all. Now get this....he can't understand anything in class, my daughter is expected to just give him F's or whatever and just keep going, BUT when standardized testing is going on, she is REQUIRED to count his grade in her overall classroom score, which brings the overall score DOWN. Now how dumb is that? This was going on all year but she went in last week, no child, no explanation. She gets a call from the office asking to look in his desk to check for any books he may have left. Come to find out, she was told he and his family had been put on the next plane OUT of the country and back to where they came from. We believe they were here illegally BUT how did they get here, buy a store, and go about their business? Our government allowed their being here....they should be required to explain why that family was here in the first place and why they suddenly disappeared. Our government is so busy trying to cater to everyone, they are screwing the rest of us.
Some states require a Doing Business As license if you work
s
Am I the only one who thinks...
That it is wrong for the workers, who are contracted to put new vinyl on our home, I just caught washing themselves off after a hard 12-hour day of work in 100 degree weather, in our nice, sparkling, clean pool?!?!?!?!
I am furious. Now we are just renters, but I called the landlord and she is calling the company! Just wondering if Im being a germaphobe sp? ??
They also ripped our grill cover, Im assuming putting the ladder over the top of it instead of moving it.
The first day they came they were sitting on our vehicle waiting for us to come to the door?!?!?!
Not sure if this is rude or not where they are from, but seems like here in the US of A, its pretty darn rude and if they are going to be here, they need to act a little more considerate!
Thanks for listening to the venting!! 
My cat thinks he's a dog
He chases his tail and it's so funny to watch. My other cat who recently died used to beg at the table like a dog whenever we ate. She'd give you a pathetic look and put her paws up on your chair.
Should be she thinks he is
slow- I know better.
Smokers inflict cancer causing agents to people every day, but there are states that
public places anymore and I say, hurray, it's about time! The state of Arizona passed a law overwhelmingly to ban smoking in public places and now it's in effect. If you're caught smoking in a public place you'll either be told to put it out, leave, or be arrested.
Speaking of walking through smoke when going in or leaving a store, I know exactly what that poster means, the only thing is I had to bring my child into that store with me. Prior to the new law, I told the manager how awful that was for me and my child and they had the trashcan/ashtray units moved further away. Still, it amazed me that people would still stand right there at the door and puff away with no regard for anyone else. Well, now, they really have it, but good. It's ILLEGAL to smoke anywhere near a public location, ie grocery stores, malls, library, hospital, any other stores and they can't smoke outside the doors or even on the property itself.
and I suppose she thinks she is...
*the moral compass*??? Whatever...they're both a joke!
And I also heard a while back that Trump probably doesn't have any more *disposable cash* as the rest of us...his personal bank balance is average, just like ours! All his money is in property, real estate, *young wives* etc...
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
You have hurt his ego most likely, thinks that only he - sm
should be taking care of business, or else thinks the toy does too good a job and you will not want him. My DH and I have a few different toys, though we do not use them too much, use them more together than I do solo. As stated they can enhance the experience, try to show him that and use it together, or show him how to use it on you, but if that still freaks him out then I guess that is out and just keep it for yourself when he is not around. Mine would love it if I got more into them actually, just depends on the guy and how confident he is in himself I think.
Am I the only one that thinks this could be murder?
When her son died, Anna's mother went on TV and said that she thought he was murdered and said that she thought Anna was in danger. Now Anna is dead.
There are a lot of people who are now going to profit now that both of them are dead. The old billionaire's family now has a pretty good chance of keeping their money. So the billionaire's family could have paid to have them both killed. At the very least, they are saving millions in attorney fees.
If she does still have a claim to that money, her infant now is the sole heir to that, and the remaining parent stands to also get a huge part of that. Her lawyer/husband now will inherit everything if he really is the father. So, he could have killed them both for profit.
Then, there is the ex-boyfriend who wants his kid. He could have killed her off to try to get his kid back and get a stake in the billionaire's fortune also.
And all of them had to know that since she always slurs her speech and has problems with drugs and alcohol, the public could easily buy that it was an accident or suicide.
Does anyone else thinks this sounds
like a joke? What dude who is married comes on here and asks a bunch of chicks for advice about buying a house that he obviously cannot afford?
If this, in fact, is not a joke, then no, you cannot afford $2700 a month plus car expenses, food, baby expenses and all the other stuff on $75,000 a year!!!!
Another thing, those interest only loans are bad, bad, bad. They sound good in the beginning but in 5-10 years when you have to refinance, you are going to be in trouble.
Foreclosures are through the roof all throughout the country because of those silly loans. Just think about it.
Friend who thinks they know everything
I have a friend who is very opinionated and thinks she knows everything. A lot of people do not like her but I think we get along because I'm pretty laid back. Our kids take dance at the same place. My child just got asked to be on the competition team. Her child has been on it a couple of years. My kid missed one class because she was sick. This was just a regular class. They have not starting competition practice yet. I mentioned that she would be missing again this week because we are having dinner at nursing home with hubbys father who is 85 and is not able to come for Thanksgiving on the night of dance class. She then says to me if it were gymastics she would not miss. (She is a talented gymnast which she loves more than dance.) My friend then tells me it is not fair for the people who care. I guess meaning the parents who bring their kids to class. My child will only miss two classes, one because she was sick. She is usually always there. My friend got me so mad. I think it was her attitude more than anything. She never knows when to keep her opinions to herself and this is an ongoing thing with her no matter what the subject is. I swear she just likes to argue about anything. Do you think I am overreacting or would you be mad too?
Just wondering who thinks
Keira Knightley is pretty? Her face is plastered everywhere, but she always has her lip curled up in a snarl. Anybody else notice that? Does she every smile for pictures?
you don't know that for sure. He says he thinks he's an alcohol.
nm
My DH just turned 70 - Thinks he is 40 ##
I am 69
Hush don't go imagining something!!
That seems to be what Simon thinks
and I agree they will probably do well. I think the guy in the red/orange suit - lol - will be going home. He was sort of terrible. David is it? The 17 year old. Just how much cuteness can one have? LOVE HIM! But I am just drooling over the guy that sang c'mon baby light my fire and oh yes I definitely would! Is he hot or what? lol. I can't wait to see the girls tonight. I just love this show.
I am the only one that thinks something is up with this story..
Things just don't add up..Fourteen years ago she was a virgin, first child is 14 years-old and she was 26 years old 14 years ago, which makes her 40, but later she states she is going on 43. She had a 1-1/2 year-old, 6-month-old and 8 months pregnant..hmmm. That makes her having gotten pregnant BEFORE the 6-month-old was born. Later, she is pregnant and they are 9 months and 1-1/2 years old. Then, she stated that her 12-year-old tonight (keyword here) had a fight with her dad but later this same child is 13, just turned, so I'm guessing on the same day? which is tonight. Just a lot of inconsistencies. I'm not sure why or how someone would make this up but I just find it odd. Maybe someone needs attention.
I swear he thinks he's a dog
He's constantly into everything, and is more curious than a cat! I plan on doing eventing with him, but I want to let him get nice and big before I start riding him! He's going to visit the vet as soon as it cools off a bit more though, he's started thinking with the wrong brain if you know what I mean!
I let him out into the front yard to eat grass a lot because we don't have a lot in the pasture and I think he gets tired of his round bale. Well a couple of weeks ago I had my truck loaded up with some rubbermaid boxes of stuff I was taking to the church and I came out the next morning and the lid was off of everyone and he had dug through EVERYTHING!
I love him though, he's my kid! I can't wait til I can get my other boy in with him, but he's still at my moms until we move somewhere with more land. This is a picture of him with my mom. I call him Danny Boy. He's a 17.2 hand warmblood. (My mom is 5Ǝ so you can see how big he is!)
what the kennel thinks
When I was a kid a spoiled dog got "Gainsburger"
Now the kennel I take my dog to thinks my dog is spoiled because she gets raw chicken.
I think it is all brainwashing by "experts" and I adamantly disagree about vast improvements in our food industry for humans or animals.
My son says he thinks Walmart
pizza is the very best, and he is my super picky eater. We get them often. The pepperoni is quite greasy but you can dab off the extra grease with a paper towel. If they have the canadian bacon thin crust, grab one and enjoy! I recommend those above all other flavors. Yum!
I don't give a hoot what anyone thinks.
My ex is black and I now have a beautiful biracial son.
Me thinks we have a bit of a snob here. BOO-HISS (sm)
 nm cigarette in the mouth - not behind the ear, no beer in hand, no wife beater T. Yes, we really do have it going on. Live right on the lake and are happy as clams.
Me thinks you need to find some integrity. nm
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