i don't think you are judgemental at all sm
Posted By: country bumpkin on 2008-10-21
In Reply to: I don't mean to seem judgmental but - shopaholic
he is selfish in a lot of ways. i do EVERYTHING around this house and he knows it and he admits it. but i get tired of it. i've told him several times i feel like a single parent. he's not as active with the kids as i would like him to be. i pretty much put my kids before him because they don't get much attention from him because he's always sleeping. oh, i could just go on and on, but i'm not. and he's not one to really sit down and have a heart to heart with. i've tried to talk with him when things are bugging me and he doesn't say much back to me. he's not a communicator. and he never talks to me if something is bothering him. so i figure, why even try to talk to him and tell him how i feel about stuff. he doesn't open up to me. his whole family is that way. it's really aggravating. even just normal everyday conversation, there just isn't much talking. sometimes i wonder if i couldn've found another who i had more in common with. i met my hubby when i was a teenager and that's the only one i've ever dated. we've been married 14 years and been a couple for 21 years. but we are just so different. i'm much more outgoing and like to do family things, keep in touch with friend, etc, but he'd rather be a hermit and stay home and sleep or just lay around. i don't like wasting my time, because there's not much of it. i like to try to make the most of my time, whether it's visiting with family, playing outside with the kids, or just sitting down with the kids and playing a board game or reading to them. he never does that stuff with them. owell, i'm really sorry i got off on a rant here.
sometimes i think i'd be happier a single person. but i'll never leave him. i do love him, but don't feel in love any more and it's just easier staying put. we have a good life (as far as having a nice house with lots of land and not many bills), it's just we don't have much in common.
ok, i'm done. sorry for this being long and going off.
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Wow, judgemental much? How about those of us who pay sm
for everyone's kids, who are childless ourselves?
Wow! So judgemental. And so wrong... sm
Sorry to disappoint you, but you don't get to call me selfish and impugn my parenting skills - because I don't have kids and don't plan to - which I'm sure is a great relief to you, as I'm certain I'd use a crib (gasp!) if I did. (Oh, and I don't drink, either!)
I was trying to point out what I see as the similarites between babies/cribs, puppies/crates, which I still think is a valid comparison. We'll just have to agree to disagree. Because I'm not changing my mind about crates keeping a dog safe, and being an excellent training tool when used properly.
To give you an example, we have 3 dogs, all indoors. Only the youngest one (1-1/2 y/o Rottweiler) is crated, and only for about 1-2 hours a week (that's 2 hours a *week*, not a day), which is the only time there isn't someone home with them, when I run errands and DH is at work, and it's for *her safety.*
Why? Because when she saw a cat in our front yard, she got so excited she barked and jumped up so hard on the window that it *shattered.* We were home when it happened and luckily she only nicked her leg, but she what if she'd hurt herself very badly - even bled to death? (I'd suppose you'd blame me for not training her well enough, or you'd call me selfish for having the nerve to leave her long enough to go buy groceries...)
Nope. I'm not about to let something like that happen when we're not home, so she stays in her crate if we're gone somewhere, until we get the windows fixed (see below).
My dogs are like my kids, and I'd do anything for them. I could care less about the window or any other material things. Those things can be replaced, my dogs cannot. Who cares if they chew up the couch? I can buy a new couch. But if the dog swallows the material off the couch and gets an life-threatening intestinal obstruction or something? THAT I care about. And if I need to use a crate to prevent things like that, I will.
My dogs also travel in the car either in a crate, or with a seat belt/harness for dogs, for their safety. (Would that not be like a child in a car seat? Oh, wait. I guess car seats are just for parents who are 'too lazy' to watch their kids...!)
We're going to replace the broken window and get a laminate coating on it and the other windows near it to strengthen it so it can't break again. Then she can be left out of her crate if we're not home, because she's housebroken and fine in the house otherwise, as our our other dogs, once past the puppy and 'teenage' phase.
At that point, the crate door stays off, and they go in and out of it as they please, to sleep in it, or take their toy to chew on in privacy (from the other dogs) or whatever.
Remember this all ye judgemental folk
God said if you don't forgive, He won't forgive you.
I believe in punishment but I believe that God is a rehabilitator.
If He cannot do it, it cannot be done and He can do anything.
WE, however, must forgive.
yeah...isn't that called being *judgemental*?
hmmm. nm
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