i don't think polite will sink in with an alcoholic.
Posted By: sm on 2007-06-13
In Reply to: Wierd roomate - sm.
First be a friend and tell her she really needs help. Encourage AA. Offer to take her there. Then set the boundaries, that she either gets help or needs to find another place to live by such-and-such a date.
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- Wierd roomate - sm.
- i don't think polite will sink in with an alcoholic. - sm
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Well, I was trying to be polite (sm)
He had some mannerisms that were the opposite of attractive to me.
But I am really happy for you! What a great story!
Is it polite to drop in on somebody
unexpectedly without calling? Our church is going through something right now, and we haven't been attending. So a couple dropped by our house one evening without calling. I was NOT ready for company. I'd been working all day and I don't have kids and I never get visitors. They barely know us. I was dying of embarrassment as they had their little visit, trying to get us to go back. DH had no choice since they were looking right in the window of the door that time. Well really it's my husband they think is great. I don't think they like me at all, despite the fact that I'm the one who was going every Sunday. I don't think they think I was involved enough, but there was one thing I was doing faithfully. DH was just going to please me and my mother, He actually has discouraged me from signing up to do things in case I embarrass him by being late or something. But it's him they call on the phone, trying to get us back.
It's not my fault when the big wigs in the church break some rules and cause trouble and make people look for another church. It's a free country. But just now while we were watching a movie somebody rang our bell. We were sitting just out of their sight, and we didn't get up. Do you know we have been assigned a Deacon who we have never even seen at church? He has sent us a couple of cards in the mail, but never introduced himself. We were told he sits in the balcony. A deacon in the balcony? Is he hiding? I chose this church because it is one DH is comfortable at, but then again they aren't exactly bringing me up to speed on what I need to know to get involved. It just seems like they are set up for people who have grown up in that kind of church and know what to do already. There are lots of other churches that have more structured new member plans where I think I won't feel so lost. But what to do about these unannounced visitors?
I think the polite thing to do...sm
Whether you're interested in him romantically or not (which I guess you are?  ), would be to acknowledge his lovely, handwritten note by calling him or mailing him a note to thank him for it.
Then the reason you're calling him is to thank him, and you don't have to "make up" a reason to talk to him. Just call and ask to speak to him. When one of his assists answers, you don't have to say you're a patient or say *why* you're calling. If he's not available right then, you don't have to leave a message (with your name and phone number, identifying yourself to the staff) just ask when would be a good time to call back.
It just seems to me that he's put the ball in your court, by sending you the note. Maybe he's trying to see if you're interested, without being unprofessional. If you wait until your next appointment in six weeks, well... that's a long time. He might think you're giving him the cold shoulder or just aren't interested.
So I say call him and see how the conversation goes - professional, or more casual...? Or mail him a little note to thank him, and include your phone number and a casual mention that he can call if he'd like to chat.
Just my thoughts. Good luck to you!
Nor did I profess to be polite
Duh!
sink
My daughter was watering her plant from school in the bathroom so when I went to plunge the sink tons of bark from the planter mix came up. Don't forget to plug the overflow hole with a wet washcloth to get the pressure higher in the pipe.
I would probably do anything to avoid a workman coming into my house, but pipes can be tricky to break loose and it takes a lot of confidence and some pipe wrenches, so be brave if you are going to shut the water off and go for it, and don't panic in the middle of everything! It's the weekend and plumbers get OT!
Not everyone who goes to a bar is an alcoholic
It's insulting for people to think because you go to a bar/club your an alcoholic. That would be like saying the people who go to church are self-righteous cult members, and then wonder how they married someone who is self-righteous and judgmental of others. Doesn't feel too good does it? I don't go to bars but did when I was younger. I went to meet people (other people who were not alcoholics who also wanted to meet people) I went to bars/clubs because I loved to dance and I did drink but not excessively, maybe 2 or 3 drinks on a Friday or Saturday night or sometimes just a coke with no alcohol, and not every weekend. But I loved to dance and that is mainly why I went. BTW - I met my husband in the service.
alcoholic husband
He has to hit bottom, and only then will he start coming up, if he gets help from AA or something similar....and HE HAS TO WANT TO DO IT.
Alanon can give you some good ideas, and I think the longer you and the children stay and put up with him, you will be coenablers, without even intending to be. When they get backed to the wall they become frightened, swear to never take another drink, but nine times out of 10 they do. They need support, not from you, but from the experts. Your support will come later if he stays clean and sober. Please, the children and you need to leave now, it may be for good, or he might come around and stay dry. Yes, get a lawyer and start proceedings. I wish you all the luck in this world. You're a good mom, don't forget that.
Husband says he is an alcoholic. (sm)
He has a good job, never misses work, never lays around drunk. But has alcohol almost daily. Hides it in his truck, cabinets, etc. and will be drinking a mixed drink when I think he is just having a soda or something like that. He has told me this in the past too and I thought he was kidding. But yesterday he said there is "no doubt about it, I'm definitely an alcoholic." We have had many marital problems and now I am wondering if that is why and I have just been blind to it. Could he really be an alcoholic and me not know it?
I am a recovering alcoholic. Went
to treatment in 1982. Believe me when I say no one admits to alcoholism unless they have a problem. It is a disease of denial, and some deny it all the way to the grave. The first step in recovery is admitting we are powerless over alcohol. Not only is the alcoholic sick, but the whole family because a lot of the time, the family enables the alcoholic to keep on drinking by denying it themselves. Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous can help a lot. In AA, the alcoholic learns how to live sober and learns what to do to change his life, habits, friends, etc. Al-Anon teaches the family how to change what they have been doing. I hope you don't think I am preaching, but I know how it is because I have been there. I do know that if I ever drink again, I won't live because the disease progresses whether we are drinking or not..
It is true about the nut under the sink s/m
I had the same problem and my dad showed me where it was. He also recommended that maybe twice a year or so, put boiling water down the pipes to help get rid of soap scum buildup. I've been doing that for a couple of years now with no blockages. I do it to the tub, kitchen sink and bathroom sinks. Just run the tea kettle and pour down...
I find they tend to be polite and reserved.
It makes me feel like the rest of us must seem loud, nosy and obnoxious to them, but then again I tend to be paranoid when people are too quiet, LOL.
crating is just a polite word for caging.
Hopefully the Buddhists are right about reincarnation. Anybody who would put an animal in a cage (which is exactly what a crate is) deserves that same fate--to be at the mercy of the type of ''superior'' human being, lacking compassion, who can still get a good night's sleep after doing that to an animal. Yes, an overweight pet will probably have a shorter life--that's just how it goes. But it will certainly have a happier life than the poor unfortunate one whose oh-so-powerful owner ''runs the show'' at its expense and sticks it in a cage for her own convenience. Have a little compassion and try putting yourself in the place of the animal. ''Run your show'' in ways that don't involve breaking an animal's spirit and making its life miserable. In short, pick on something your own size (mentally and physically)--not an animal.
My husband is a recovering alcoholic. He. too,
held a full-time job, did all the *things* he was supposed to do but came home EVERY night and consumed anywhere from a pint to a quart of liquor (first bourbon and later vodka). He knew he was an alcoholic and would tell you so. One day after months of feeling like crap all the time, he decided it was time to quit. His doctor admitted him to the hospital. He is 6 feet tall and weighed 122 pounds. They kept him for about 3 days and detoxed him. He came home and had a rough few weeks. Thankfully, though, he has been sober now for 15 months. Please encourage your husband to get the help that he needs. My prayers are with you.
if he states he thinks he may be an alcoholic, he is asking for help
nm
clogged sink drain
My bathroom sink drain is clogged, probably with toothpaste, and I have tried TWO bottles of Drano, to no avail. I also tried a mixture of vinegar and baking soda, followed by hot water (got the recipe off a do-it-yourself non-toxic website). I know the Drano is highly toxic, but I'm getting desperate. I'm embarrassed when guests go in there. I'm renting. Should I just give up and ask my landlord to send a plumber?
Keep that vicious alcoholic out of your home...sm
And tell your husband exactly why. I would leave him if he didn't stand by me in this. This is grossly absurd. If she won't put the plug in the jug, sober up and make amends, she does not deserve to ever see her grandchildren or to set foot in your home.
So nice to find one that is polite about it. Could have been lewd like most guys:(
,,
Divorcing an alcoholic is not an easy thing to do
First and foremost you need to get him away from your children, sounds like they've been around it too long already. Living under the same roof with an alcoholic during a divorce is not the way to go. I'm one of those children and never understood why it took my mother so long to end it (of course that was years and years ago). Just because he is your children's father doesn't mean he should be around them. Obviously he chooses alcohol over his family. Don't bother trying to make it amicable, just get a good attorney. Half the time your hubby won't show up to court anyway! Good Luck!
Go to hgtv.com and see if they talk about this at all. If behind the sink & stove,
s
Gently hand wash it in the sink and let air dry outside. nm
x
My husband is an alcoholic currently in rehab for his addiction.
Our marriage has suffered terribly because of his addiction. Actually, I should say my love for him has suffered terribly because of his alcoholism. He is totally dependent on me and I have come to feel more like his mother than his wife. I make the money, pay the bills, take care of our children, basically run the house. He's either always looking for a job or working as a self-employed used engine and transmission salesman/mechanic barely making any money at all.
Recently, I told him I didn't love him anymore and that I was tired of taking care of him. So he entered rehab as a way to win me back and prove his love for me. He calls me at least 20 times a day from rehab. If I don't answer, he will call repeatedly every two minutes or so until someone answers or he has to go back to group or class or whatever.
He will get out of rehab at the end of this month and fully expects to come back home and provie that he is changing. My problem is this, I don't want him to come home. I have enjoyed the peace I've had with him gone (save for the constant phone calls). However, I fear that if I am honest with him and tell him over the phone that I don't want him back, this will affect his sobriety and basically he will see no reason to finish rehab and remain sober. He tells me repeatedly that he is doing this for me. I've told him he should be doing it for himself or at the very least, his kids and he will just agree with me and change the subject.
He's not a bad person. He just has his problems and I'm tired of feeling like I have this anchor around my neck all of the time. While he's been gone I've enjoyed spending time with my kids. I've gotten together with my girlfriends for dinner and movies and just had girls' night out. I've spent time visiting my mom and sister and helping my niece plan her upcoming wedding. Without my husband around, I've just feel free to have fun and do stuff for me.
How can I tell him that I want a divorce without feeling responsible for affecting his rehabilitation? How would you handle it?
People are more polite in the deep south. There is a sense of decorum.
q!
Cooked on the grill, loaded with everything but the kitchen sink. LOL. nm
nm
I've ended the cazillion dirty glasses in the sink every day problem...
My husband and I got tired of the kids coming to the kitchen a bunch of times during the day and each time grabbing a new glass to drink from - even after we asked them to pick a spot on the counter to keep their glass at and rinse it out/wash it after every use. Previously we'd end up with the dishwasher filled on the top level with glasses every day.
I went to Target and found different colored plastic tumblers. I bought a tumbler for everyone in the household. At supper time tonight I put all tumblers on the table and told everyone to pick their favorite color. After this was done they were all told this is now their color to use, and they're solely responsible for their tumbler each day, and are to rinse/wash it as needed throughout the day. I then went to the cabinets and proceeded to pack up all but 4 glasses we have in the cabinet - and those 4 I've moved to the very top shelf. They know that if their tumbler is found outside of the kitchen the problem is solved of "who left the glass on the living room table?" None will be allowed to wonder to bedrooms or they'll lose their tumbler and have nothing to drink from but a small juice glass. If we have company they can use the 4 glasses on the top shelf.
This should work and we'll no longer have dishpan hands!
Give 'em a swish in the sink. If concerned about color running, try with 1 stem or leaf first. Or
s
Many ferries are around the plane, but plane is starting to sink.
They think a bird had hit the plane.
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