i care anon,
Posted By: sm on 2008-12-21
In Reply to: Nobody loves you when you're down - anon from a few days ago (sm) - anon
and i am sure many others do to, but don't know how to help. i never read your previous post below until now. difficult times cause us to grow personally and adds to our character. nothing was ever gained (or made easier) by giving up. you have to hang in there. i really don't have much to offer either, except to suggest that you go the emergency room for treatment. Worry about the cost later. there are so many sources of help available, social services, etc, pantries, shelters, help phone lines. Your true source of help is God above. Learn about him, pray, devote your life to him. call a minister. I would suggest to speak to someone at the church of Christ; ask for spiritual counseling. There are many who would love the opportunity to help. i wish you the best.
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I care too, anon!
Please contact me by e-mail if you just need someone to talk to....or someone to listen to you. My heart goes out to you. We are all very concerned about you and care very much, but the anonymity of this board is frustrating. We can't reach out and hug you like we would like to! Please know that we do still care and think about you often!
I don't care about your things, and can't imagine anyone would care about mine.
Whether it's my eating quirks or my sexual preferences, I have no need to divulge that stuff here.
It's NOT that interesting (mine OR yours!) and nobody cares.
To ANON
Thank you.......
To another anon
OK....have a good night....
For anon...
Just for the record, I wasn't calling you names. You don't like my opinion, that's fine. I've read your previous posts though, and I don't think some of these other posters have. I was NOT calling you a weird lady, I was stating that to a 6-year-old boy you are some weird lady who is taking his daddy. You and the father were not together long enough for that child to feel any connection to you prior to the marriage, and you have shown nothing but hatred and jealousy toward the child on your weekly posts here. I would (and this is just a guess) imagine you're not all that bonding and loving with the child, so yes...he's not going to think well of you. And I still stand by my belief that a 6-year-old saying I got a slushie and you didn't isn't spiteful or in any way a malacious act. It's a 6-year-old being a 6-year-old.
I agree with anon
Just gradually let the friendship drop. When she wants to see you, tell her you're not available. If she calls to cry on your shoulder, listen for a couple of minutes and then tell her you need to get off the phone. She isn't going to change, so you have to.
BTW, someone below mentioned a friend using the fact that she is bipolar to excuse this kind of behavior. I am bipolar, and while there may be some things I don't handle as well as I would like, I have a steady job, I have been married to the same man for many years, I have a son in college, and my bills are always paid on time. But then, I always take my meds. I may not like the side effects, but I want as "normal" a life as I can have.
Anon - please get help today -
I really don't want to be an alarmist, however, we all read the news and every day there's a report of wife who disappears (or is killed by her husband.) If (and this is a big IF) he is getting worse and IF you feel threatened by his behavior - get help! Look in the white pages for social services and find a woman's help group. Only you can tell if he's getting angry and if you're frightened. If I were frightened in any way by my husband or his behavior I'd be out of there! We cannot give you any other advice than to seek advice in your community before it's too late. Again, to reiterate and make my point, it really sounds like he's into porn. There's many types of porn from the mild Playboy type to the really ugly violent porn! I hear that it becomes addicting to some people and, if that is the case here, I would seek help immediately!
So, Anon, be your own Best Friend...
and do what you know you need to do. We've all given you good advice here. There is free legal aid and counseling available all over the country, big towns and small. Act in your own best interests. Pretend that your best friend is being abused in this manner and look up the info for "her". For some reason you are reticent to do this. Are you afraid you cannot make it on your own? Are you afraid that he'll come after you? Do you think that the marriage can be saved? Do what Ann Landers always says "think about whether your life would be better or worse without him in it". If you think that it would be better without him in it then you need to make a decision to get the help you need. Don't tell him what you're thinking about doing. Don't let him find out you're making copies of necessary paperwork. This is about YOU and YOUR needs (necessities really). BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND! (Sorry about yelling - just trying to get through to you!)
Do you have kids anon?
I agree spanking should be kept to a minimum, but sometimes with younger kids it is necessary imo. When my oldest was 3 or 4 I had my cart full of groceries and my hands full and told him to stay right by my side and hold onto the cart when we cross the parking lot. He ran right out into traffic! I spanked him right there in the parking lot because I wanted him to remember to NEVER do that again. I also talked with him about once we were in the car, but some situations call for spanking imo.
Some parents never spank their kids, and good for them, but if a parent wants to smack a kid on the butt sometimes that is their business. I don't like spanking too much though because it does send a message of violence and fear, but sometimes fear is the only thing that gets through their thick skulls! I think you should give a warning first normally and not hit out of your own need to vent, but to get a message across to the child. Plus, some kids are such spoiled brats that their parents should spank. Overindulgence is also a form of abuse and will only harm the child in the longrun. So I do have mixed feelings on it, but I don't think it's fair to say that parents should never spank their kids.
reply to Anon sm
I can see where you are coming from but there is a simple answer - change the channel. There is plenty out there for everyone. I get sick of the ugliness myself but it pays the bills for the stations and it amuses small minds. You have to have a bigger set of values and flip the channel, change the station, put on some nice music, read something positive, take a walk, etc. There is an old song with the lyrics, "You gotta accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and don't mess with Mister In-between." It's all out there, you don't have to pay attention to it or you will be just like "them."
I agree with anon
He seems to just be content and getting too comfy, maybe mix it up a bit. Make sure you have eye contact with him when you are speaking to him. My hubby's personality is also kind of bully-ish and tends to come across that way, especially when he is grumpy after working all day, just like I am. I tend to take care of the house, 4 kids, the animals, etc. and work full time, so I am grumpy as well. I make sure that we get a hug in and an "I love you" daily and that seems to help. The more I have taken to doing this, the more relaxed things are in the house. Try to get an hour alone every week for just the two of you. My hubby and I make sure we get 15 minutes to talk about our day every day. Try not to take offense of what he is doing, just try something different. It sounds like your in a rut.
I did it - anon from yesterday (sm)
It's all reported and official. Now I don't feel so alone. I don't want to get into a big discussion on here in case he is checking to see if I posted anything...but it's all documented by the right people and they have my back. Starting my kids in counselling there as well. I feel my backbone growing back :-) If you have replies please reply to the orginal post below...don't want it to be right up top again, just in case. Thanks for all the words of wisdom and encouragement yesterday.
Thank you for responding, sm and anon...
I didn't know about not having to pay those fees. This time I really did some homework as far as the dealer's list price versus MRSP, etc. The confidence thing needs work, though. My last 3 cars lasted 10 years, so I don't get a lot of practice with this.
Yes, like I said, by all means go to Al-Anon. sm
You work the Al-Anon program for yourself and not for the alcoholic. You'll be more than glad you did. Not to necessarily save your marriage, but to save YOURSELF.
Anon poster, do you have any idea...
HOW HILARIOUS THAT WAS?! Oh my god! That post is truly a hidden jewel and I hope others read it!
I'd prefer to stay mainly anon except to say
I recently relocated to Texas (I have a few co-workers/friends that visit these boards and I really don't want them to know about my daughter's situation, it's rather embarassing to me).
I'm very angered with the school system. Not just this situation but also the special ed stuff going on with my son. The district my kids are in seems too busy to really want to deal with the parent. That's why I know if I marched down there tomorrow about my daughter's punishment, I'd get nowhere but have a headache. It's just not worth it to me right now, as I'm so very busy and with the holidays, it all stinks, ya know.
Thanks for listening.
Hey anon - I posted above but will just say a line here
Not calling Animal Control because they really are not cruel to their dog. Actually I think the dog should say and Animal Control should take them away. HA HA. Dogs not tied up and every once in awhile (every other day) it gets loose and they go running down the road yelling after it. Why they even have a dog I don't understand. Anyway...they are not cruel to it, they feed it, pay attention to it and it goes in their house at night to sleep. They are just fools that don't have any consideration for their neighbors and giving their neigbors some peace and quiet, but thanks for your post. Bout a year ago at a different location we had to call animal control. Neighbors at another place took off for 2 weeks and left their dog alone. We had to have PD come to see if something didn't happen to them inside the house. Come to find out those flaming imbilci!es went on a vacation and didn't make any arrangements for their dog. They had a freind look in but the friend showed up twice in two weeks. We offered them free pet sitting if they were planning to go away again.
Anon said 'stupider' is NOT EVEN a word.
IT IS A WORD, BOTH can be used!
Can't you even read, go back and read her post!
Well, I am European and I use British English, where English originated.
There are a lot of people who say that American English is not even English!
Glad to burst your bubble!
You are the stupidest!
True Anon, but Christ is being removed out of everything and that isn't right either.
t
Calling AA will do you no good. You need to call Al-Anon.
nm
Attention: Anon....website for stepmoms
Anon,
I read your post about your stepson. I just wanted to let you know that I belong to a wonderful website that allows stepmoms to talk about their issues, give advice, share positives thoughts, vent, etc. I have learned a lot from the wonderful ladies on there. Here is the website if your are interested.
www.stepsforstepmothers.com
thank you, anon. And this, Philly, is why your posts are inappropriate.
nm
Nobody loves you when you're down - anon from a few days ago (sm)
So after telling my story and getting some really nice encouragement from some people and getting bashed by others, and having friends and church leaders encourage me to report all that was going on in my home, I have the sinking feeling that once I did what I was told to do it was like, "good luck with that." I can't get any guarantees or promises from anyone I have talked to yet. I am worse off than I was before and scared to death.
To anon..She was trying to explain to the rest of us in simple terms...sm
how mares foal, bkz most of us don't have the opportunity to see that. You don't even know how many horses and other animals Hayseed has and cares for every day!
I suggest you apologize immediately.  Cat
Are you the Anon who was worried abt possibly violence or hubby taking your kids? m
Best of luck to you for taking the steps to change your life. I wish you well.
got that right!! If u don't take care of your man....nm
.
Somebody already took care of that
I don't really care if you believe me or not.
Whoever stated above that the mother must be a decent person because she raised Daniel for the first 6 years of his life is stating something that is not true. I am just saying that you cannot base her character on that because it is not true, period.
You can believe what you want. I don't care. I don't have reason to come here and make this up, but I know who Daniel was raised by and a lot more than that. The grandmother did not raise him though. A very loving person who I am very close with and who has been in my life as a second mother to me raised him. The grandmother deserves no credit for that.
Trust me, there are a lot more people who this has hurt and affected than just those you see on TV.
Don't really care for any of them that much
And I used to be an AI addict! Now not so much. : (
I just got it right on #4, could care less what others think
NM
Oh, now that would just take care of everything..
Not. I would be just as scared seeing something behind me, if only a glance, as in front or the side. My husband is much more respectable than most because he lets me know prior to entering the door.
Of course I care....
It's called human nature to care about another person who is suffering. And the people who are obsessed with her private life, like yourself, are more than likely a big part of the reason for her suffering. It's just so sad that you felt the need to berate the care she is receiving. You would want the same care for yourself. And with the way she's treated every time she steps foot outside her home, I would think she deserves to have all the privacy that her money can afford. And you can bet it's her own money paying for it, so why do you care if she gets any special attention because the general public won't leave her alone? Shame on you!
You know, I don’t care what you or others do
and I think most here are just seeing what others opinions are, not that they use your suggestions but asking if others have similar things going on. I think you can do what you want at any age; having said that I also find it silly when a really older woman tries to be as young as her grandchildren. I don’t listen to loud music because personally I want to keep my hearing intact and it bothers me now (think it did when in my 20s also, just don’t care for it, ever). Play your games, wear your hair long, blast your music, it is your life. I don’t tell others how to live their life and others don’t tell me. I think most here only asking opinions.
How I took care of this...
…Ok, the housekeeper lives with a sister and they both oversee the care of a retarded lady who is blind, unable to speak, cannot take care of herself- that might be a place the panties could have been used- this person would not know nor care. I brought the housekeeper over tonight and asked her to "look" for my panties as I knew where I put them. She denied taking them, but never would look me in my face, keeping her eyes down to the floor. I am no longer going to use her services- by the way she is most always calling me asking can she come to work, not me as she has never had a real job in the work force, used to live on welfare and food stamps before that went out so making 60-70$ (or if she did more would pay up to 100 or so for her time here) was ok with her. She spent no money driving here, riding public transportation here- I always went to get her which if you look at money wise, it comes out to more than what I actually paid her. The bottom line is my husband has told me for some time things were missing but now I have seen for myself. I want to be able to trust people who are in my home.
when they are old enough to take care of them on their own...
I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was old enough to take care of it myself...I think about 10 or so? So I would think whenever he's old enough to take care of it himself, that would be the age.
Sheesh. From reading some of the posts here, you would think he was wanting a tatoo of the devil...it's not like he couldn't take those earrings out later if he decided he didn't want them!!!!
You need to take care of your
bills first and not worry about giving gifts. Explain to your family that you will not be giving gifts this year and you expect nothing in return. They may not like it but they will get over it. If they ask questions about what you do with your money (which really is none of their business)just answer them with the economy being so bad you are unable to give gifts. I would hope they understand as everybody is going through it right now. You may feel uncomfortable, but at least you will be able to sleep and not worry whether your bills will be paid or not. Stand firm on this and DO NOT feel guilty as there is no reason to be.
I have also chosen not to exchange gifts this year as I cannot do it. I was surprised that my brother was relieved. Everybody is feeling the crunch.
I wish you much luck!
Do you care....
Which way the TP goes on the roller? I don't but I know some who freak out and have to change it if it's going in the wrong direction.
I don't care for the new way
It's too obvious who's going to get it when they call up a couple at a time.
Secretly, I was kind of hoping Nick Norman made it LOL
These can be taken care of
by injections, just zapping them away, heard not much pain at all, check with a dermatologist. I would not see a plastic surgeon, just give a call and ask. I would not think a cream would do the job.
I really don't care.
An eye for an eye. You correct someone else, so you should expect to be corrected. I only popped in here today to see what was going on. Oh, hey. Ya wanna know what? I can block this site on my own! And I can keep coming back no matter how many times I get kicked off the boards. There are unlimited free email accounts and dynamic IP addresses out there.
The best way to take care of this is
to grow a backbone and say no, cannot have company such and such a time. I do not have to give out any phony pretending not to be home, any thought up why I cannot have company, I just say nope.
Couldn't care less
I couldn't care less whether someone gives me good wishes for Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, or just a generic "happy holidays." I also don't care what any store decides to name their holiday decorations or sales after.
From a purely economic standpoint, it does make sense for businesses to combine holidays when they occur near each other. If they advertise only "Christmas" items, then it potentially excludes anyone who does not celebrate that holiday. The same goes for Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, etc. To market to the largest number of people, a general "holiday sale" works because each person can take from that what they want. For Christians "the holidays" in December means Christmas. For Jews it means Hanukkah. For pagans it means "Winter Solstice" (which, by the way, is where many Christmas traditions originated from, including the "Christmas" tree, but that's another story for another time).
I guess my point is that I personally feel some people make too big a deal out of things like this. There are far more important things in this world to focus one's attention on than what a store wants to call its sales.
Well, you should care. Clearly, you are not God filled otherwise
you wouldn't have such negative, uncaring thinking about Christmas and not merely assume that it's all about commercialism.
I agree with you, and don't care who it is...!
Even my family doesn't drop by without calling first and I would not do it to them. We were brought up to be polite and courteous. Unfortunately not everyone is.
The police have enough to take care of besides
a person calling them if they got a card from an unknown person?? That is not what the police are for, them out investigating a birthday card and someone else is being robbed, assulted or whatever.. My goodness, think about your answer before you do post. The person on the post seems to be a caring person. If you have emergency, then the police should be called!!
I don't care if they belch,
yawn, cough, or fart, as long as they don't KEEP TALKING while doing it! ARRGGHHH!
Acute Care?
Hi there,
I was wondering if someone could help me. I've been researching courses in medical transcription, and I have seen quite a few times a reference to "acute care reports". I was hoping someone could explain what that was. Thanks!
I also don't care if they are young
and committing such a horrible crime on someone else who is more vulnerable.
The excuses run out eventually. If they give the excuse that THEY were molested as children then they absolutely KNOW that what they are doing to someone else is COMPLETELY wrong. No sympathy. Not one teeny tiny little bit.
No. I don't care what others say, I make my own
nm
Why did you get a dog when you cannot pay for health care
plo
Went to podiatrist, got it taken care of and
so painful but was assured that if I ever had another 1 it would not be on the same foot. That was about a year and a half ago and fine ever since.
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