i appreciate your insight
Posted By: frustrated on 2009-03-11
In Reply to: Just my opinion...sm - TechSupport
im glad you pointed that out... it is about him for sure, i like that he is enjoying himself.
i suppose i just hear so much about 'GREAT' sex... i just feel like that part im missing out on, even if he is not?
when i said i dont physically respond, i didnt mean i dont act like im enjoying it (and sometimes i am enough)... i meant... like the actual ... i dont really want to be graphic, so i just meant i dont physically get excited... like what happens when you are being sexual. sorry to be like a little kid, i just dont want to sound dirty!
yes i have thought about seeing someone... didnt know if that sounded dumb :(
so thank you
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Just a little insight --
I quit writing in my diary when the real stuff started happening. I don't think my mom ever read my diary, but when I started dating, I quit writing. I figured a paper trail probably wasn't a good idea. I did, however, keep a box full of love letters that probably would have given a very accurate timeline of my romantic escapades.
As for your situation, it sounds like you know your daughter pretty well. Just watch her mood swings, etc, for signs. You'll know when -- my mom definitely knew.
Some insight
The information provided about the time-consuming paperwork, etc. probably should be a hint to the rest of us that those people who choose that way of life rather than work have reasons other than laziness for living that way.
Kind of reinforces in my mind that our society needs to do so many things differently and realize there are even more important things to be taught than math, reading, and science.
Bless you for having to raise 6 kids! :)
Thank you for your wonderful insight
I'm just sorry that it's coming from personal experience. So much of what you say does sound like my son. I have definitely zoomed in on the impulsivity of his actions. I had brought that up to the child psychologist and he said that it's something to watch to see if he grows out of it. I'm not expecting that to happen. I manage the best I can and it's from day to day. When we go places, sometimes its good and sometimes not. It seems when we all go together, it doesn't go as well. I'm guessing because he's not getting as much of the attention as he would like.
I'm curious how you feel about the injury your son is doing to his siblings. I feel so guilty and sorry for my son's actions towards my other children, but how do you deal with that? I don't want him taken away from us or locked up, but yet I know I need to protect my other children. He doesn't act out all the time. In fact, this week is the worst he's been all summer.
No alkies on either side of the family (thank heavens for small blessings). Although, I do believe there is some bipolar or other type of mental illness on my side of the family (aunts, cousins). I got some real kooks for relatives. I've mentioned this to the child psychologist also, but he doesn't seem overly concerned about my son's actions. He almost acts like it's something he will outgrow or something that can be changed through behavior modification. I'm not that optimistic. I personally think it's just my child's temperament. He's always been difficult, even as an infant.
Well, I can't deal with this anymore tonight. I'm off to bed. My son is having a sleepover at his great-grandma's tonight and I'm sure he'll be fine. She says she "don't take his sh!t and he knows it" I wish he felt that way about me. At least I can count on a peaceful morning tomorrow! Thanks again for letting me know I'm not the only one. It helps more than you can imagine.
need some insight into son's behavior
I wonder if anybody has any insight into my son's behavior and performance in school. His dad and I have talked until we are blue in the face and we have also left him alone and have given him space regarding his grades. Neither causes any change. He just keeps telling us he doesn't care about high school and that it does not matter. He has no respect for the teachers (not many of them take teaching very seriously, in all honesty, so I can't much blame him for that) and he doesn't feel like he should try since they don't.
This is a kid who scores in the 98 to 99th percentile on standardized testing. He is SO smart, friendly, outgoing, quick-witted, and for the most part respectful. He doesn't smoke or drink or do drugs. He plays guitar in the praise band at church. He is a good kid, but he just refuses to do his school work.
This has been a struggle for the past 4 years of high school. He is supposed to graduate in May, but the last 9 weeks report card came today and he got 2 F's, a D and a C. The 2 F's were gimme classes, believe it or not. If he doesn't bring those up to average a passing grade he won't graduate. It makes me sad, confused, frustrated beyond belief, worried, just to name a few emotions.
He says he thinks he has ADD but I think he just WANTS to have it so he can have a pass, so to speak. I think it could be some deeper problem, like our family dynamics, playing a role. Does anybody have any ideas on how this boy can be inspired to rise to meet even the smallest challenge?
Thanks for your insight I hope he continues to - sm
get better and has no lasting liver damage. I will just have to keep an eye on him and if I see worsening (i.e. jaundice), get his butt kicking and screaming to the doctor.
Thanks for your insight when buying a house
I wondered that too if all the houses gone up that much. I know they did some remodeling since they bought it 5 years ago but we have done some remodeling in this house too (same kind of remodeling) but I won't dare think it would sell for 66% above what we originally paided for it.
Than again, I would have to get an expert to come through here and tell me what they think it might sell for. I have not a clue. 
My gut feeling tells me that they need to come down. I saw the new house they were moving too. It is a huge, two story, maybe $300K home. DH and I think they have jacked up the price on this other home in order to help pay for the one they are in now.
Then other things would have to factor in like property taxes, cost of utilities which I know all that would be more than what we are paying now for this little house we are in now. "sigh" Oh well, maybe one day we will have something bigger.
Older lady here, some insight maybe
I have a friend whose situation is 100% like yours. She does not care for her husband, tells others she doesn’t and is so turned off by any actions he takes such as the dirty talking, the fondling (which she says gropping), etc. I have heard this before from her as you are talking about. My friend also wants to withhold sex like you, tells me her hubby is complete turnoff. On the other hand, I am so much in love with my husband and he talks dirty and loving at the same time and I love it. If he wants to hug, kiss, whatever, I am right on the same page with him. He is probably the dirtist talking man I have ever met and love that also. No one else would ever believe me because he is very shy and quiet around others. I feel your situation is a direct result of how you are feeling towards your husband in the first place. If you truly loved him, I do not think his actions would be that repulsive to you. Probably if you could and wanted to salvage this relationship, starting with marital therapy might work but do you really want this? I see you and he as being in a standoff and that is not a good thing for any marriage.
I think I'm going crazy - need some insight (long)
Okay so I have been dealing with this issue for awhile, and I need some opinions, ideas, anything to verify that i'm really not crazy...
I feel like I have two sides. I've been married for two years, and I love my husband and know I'd be devastated without him. I love our little house and our circle of friends and everything that comes with married life. We are young at 23 and 26, but I've never been bothered by that.
But, there is another side of me that drives me crazy. It's the side that tells me to run for the hills, that this is as good as it gets, that from here on out life deteriorates. I don't know if I'm just freaking out because I realize I'm not getting younger or what. My parents never had a good marriage (they were divorced when I was 5) and they were married about the same time we were (except my dad was almost 15 years older than my mom).
I constantly feel like these two sides are battling it out. One minute I feel all wifey and considering kids and all dutiful housewife/MT, the next minute I'm freaking out just wanting to go grab a beer and party it up. Is this normal at my age? Is there something wrong with me?
My husband still enjoys going out every now and then, but not like we used to when we first got together 5 years ago. I think he's starting to want to settle down, and maybe that's what I'm afraid of. I don't know if I'm ready to just fall into a routine. I always thought life would turn out to so much more than that. I always thought my life would be exciting, spontaneous, filled with adrenaline rushes, etc.
On the other hand I absolutely love the commitment and safety I feel and have with my husband. I love knowing that the boy I fell in love with is my man for life (hopefully!).
Any thoughts would be great. I really worry myself sometimes. I really get tired of this constant back and forth in my head, and I feel like one of them has got to win soon or I'm really going to go crazy! I just don' t want to make any rash decisions that I would regret for the rest of my life!
Well at least it feels better to get it all out...
TIA
To all you single woman, can some give me some insight? sm
i have recently ran my husband off after 16 years of abuse, alcoholism, and addictions. i have 4 kiddos by this man and have stood by him and tried to help him to no avail. it has been like another child to raise, not a partner. so it has been two weeks now and i am lonely, don't know why cuz at least i am don't have to listen to his *itching 24/7. everytime we do talk, it ends in arguing. my point is i want to stay single. i am not interested in anyone else, but am lonely. i have always been one to have a boyfriend or be attached. i don't know if it stems for insecurity or what. how do you get over those attachments and move on being happily single and raising kiddos on your own? any suggestions?
Okay, girls, I need some insight here on a personal level. (sm)
I have not had a man in my life for the past 3.5 years. I have tried dating and get asked out all the time, but just no interest in the ones doing the asking I guess. I have a very comfortable life and truly am in no need for a man to take care of me. However, I have known this one particular man for over a year and just very recently our friendship seems to be heading to a different level and for the first time I am very attracted to him. So, the other day he e-mailed me and both of us came clean on our feelings. The problem is that he has had his present girlfriend for the past 7 years...they do not live together and really spend little time together, as their lives are significantly different and when asked why he simply states "it just isn't working out and that he could make more time to see her, but he doesn't"
Okay, so now I know I am going to get flamed, but where do you think it goes from here? Both him and I have a seminar to attend with another man in 2 weeks and will also be staying at the same hotel, etc. and I am just so confused as to how I go about keeping my distance but still wanting him. What to do, what to do......this has been on my mind all day and so has he and I am so not use to these feelings at all....like high school all over again.
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