husband's drinking
Posted By: nn on 2007-04-25
In Reply to: My advice to you is - sm
I think, from what I have read, is that he can only help himself in stopping. Has to hit bottom....after AA and being sober would be the time for your support. I think by staying with him now you will be co-inabling. He knows you are there, so he probably feels "so what, she's still here and I'm still drinking". He has to want to stop, until then he won't. Remember, it is a disease, and it can't be cured, but can be taken "one day at a time". Best of luck.
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And the drinking age is....
This might have changed since my kids were growing up. When the kids and I visited Jamaica, no drinking age there and so my 15 year old son was allowed to drink, even his much younger sister could order from a bar but in the US the age was 21 and so that was what I expected out of them. I personally would hold any parents legally responsible for letting under aged kids drink at their home. I am too much of a stickler for the laws of the land.
drinking for 2 years is not trying it out
Your daughter is headed down the wrong path. If she's been smoking for 2 years, she's not trying that out anymore, either. Apparently, both of these new habits "fit" and she's taking them home. The fact that she says she feels relieved not having to hide it anymore is a sure sign she has no intention of quitting. I strongly urge you to discipline her. Children need discipline. She may hate you for it now, but your job is to be her mother, not her friend. Both of these habits carry dire consequence over the long-term (which I'm sure you are aware of) and both of these habits only get worse over time.
Yes, I tried alcohol and cigarettes when I was 16 (no drugs) but only a couple of times. To this day, I still don't like the taste of beer and never drank any other alcohol until I was over 21. When my mom/dad found out what I was doing, I was severely disciplined - grounded, spanked (yes I said spanked at 16), and was stripped of any privileges. This definitely deterred me from participating in these things after I was allowed to resume a normal life. This may sound harsh, but I'm thankful today my parents put an end to it when they did. I intend to do the same with my children. I think that's the problem with a lot of today's youth -- they're parents are too worried about being their friend, instead of doing their job as a parent.
What is Nicki drinking?
I know she is drinking the drink that David drugged, but it looks like white wine or champagne. WTH? It certainly dosesn't look like sparkling water or whatever the recovering alcoholic normally drinks.
I would not drive after drinking it!
Use in place of wine:)
drinking soda
I think that drinking soda aggravates that. Cranberry juice and herbals teas calm this sort of thing down for me.
Legal Drinking Age
Many of the states that have chosen to specifically prohibit alcohol consumption by those under age 21 have a variety of exceptions. For example,
Some States allow an exception for consumption when a family member consents and/or is present. States vary widely in terms of which relatives may consent or must be present for this exception to apply and in what circumstances the exception applies. Sometimes a reference is made simply to "family" or "family member" without further elaboration.
....
Some States allow an exception for consumption on private property. States vary in the extent of the private property exception which may extend to all private locations, private residences only, or in the home of a parent or guardian only. In some jurisdictions, the location exception is conditional on the presence and/or consent of the parent, legal guardian, or legal-age spouse.
Some States also allow exceptions for educational purposes (e.g., students in culinary schools), religious purposes (e.g., sacramental use of alcoholic beverages), or medical purposes.
http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/LegalDrinkingAge.html
if he quits drinking and changes for the better, you have your answer
nm
Lowering the legal drinking age from 21 to 18
I didn't know this was going on.....
The article is long so I didn't copy all of it. See the link below:
College presidents from about 100 of the nation's best-known universities, including Duke, Dartmouth and Ohio State, are calling on lawmakers to consider lowering the drinking age from 21 to 18, saying current laws actually encourage dangerous binge drinking on campus.
The movement called the Amethyst Initiative began quietly recruiting presidents more than a year ago to provoke national debate about the drinking age.
"This is a law that is routinely evaded," said John McCardell, former president of Middlebury College in Vermont who started the organization.
"It is a law that the people at whom it is directed believe is unjust and unfair and discriminatory."
Drinking 9-12 beers a day means he is
No, sure donot see that. Was he drinking the beer
on the unicycle? LOL
Try drinking 8 glasses of water a day...(SM)
I just spoke with a friend whose husband was advised by his doctort to drink a lot of water for his back problem. He did and it worked and he feels better overall. Could be the bones in your feet are dry and building up with calcium.
My daughter was drinking heavily, she didn't know that I knew but she would
act strange and when I would try to come close to her casually, she would pull away. I waited til she fell asleep and could smell the booze on her breath. The next day I told her I would buy lunch if she could go grab it and when she left I went in her room and found to stashed bottle of some cheap rum. I know it sounds bad but I put some ipecac in the bottle and then waited. I didn't put much, but it was effective. She blew chunks and blew and blew. She thought she just got sick, but about a week later I did it again and after she got sick that time, that was the end of her drinking. Smart girl, eh? She somehow figured out that drinking rum made her sick! I may sound like a terrible mom, but I also don't have a drunk for daughter now either.
Red Cross told me excessive tea drinking could cause anemia.
o
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines
Try drinking lots of water today, bet you feel at least nm
x
It's the other guy's wife that's strange. I can see guys drinking, watching
xx
I would have called the police right from the start, especially with underage drinking.
the mother could be brought up on charges of furnishing aldohol to minors for starters. Don't put up with it for another minute. The police will not tell who called, they just show up on the door step and take care of business.
Good luck.
EXCUSE ME! Smoking and/or drinking does not make you a bad parent! sm
I smoke. I drink margaritas when I choose too. This does not have any effect on how I raise my children. One is a straight A student. The third is an average student. Then I have my 21yo who is excelling in the nursing program and just told me tonight I was a great mom no matter how she used to argue with me, which she did and regularly. Smoking and/or drinking does not play a role in life unless you are an alcoholic. Just because someone drinks, they are not and guess what... they can still be a mom/dad and raise wonderful children.
If you want to pick something that is wrong, how about a church that teaches children to fast when they are only 11 and already underweight (not mine but a friend's). That is more wrong.
It is just like drinking Coors light determines you will have a boy baby and Miller Lite a girl. sm
I have heard that actually; however, it is not true.
I did hear that too much Mountain Dew makes one impotent!
Don't know who dreams this stuff up, but I would have to say it is not true at all. My hubby only drinks Coors Light and we have a boy and a girl, go figure! LOL
Does your husband or significant other do this? Just now, at 7:30, my husband came home from sm
playing sports with a friend. After showering he comes downstairs naked and tries to start a conversation with me. My "office" is in the living room and he is standing in back of the couch so I can't see any private parts, just him without his shirt, but I can see enough to know he clearly is naked! I think he wants me to be amused or get turned on or something, but I'm not amused one bit. In fact, I keep working and basically ignore him.
Poor guy. I swear he thinks he's Vince Vaughn or something. I should at least smile at him but all I want to tell him is to put some clothes on! ugh!
My husband is the same way
Something about guys and their cars. I have no kids though and recently married so we still do some of our banking and bills separately by my choice. I thought he was being selfish too. So I got myself a 2nd part time job and I recently went out and bought a newer, bigger, fully loaded SUV and I don't let him use it! lol
My husband and I are doing it right now
and it is working, slowly but surely. After the first couple of things are paid off, its gets better and faster. We have a poster board with all our debt and we redo it every three months, and I must say that you see the debt going away. My hubbie cut all my credit cards up, and I was upset but in the scheme of things, it was the best. We only have one income and its working. Give it a try, I think you'll be surprised that it actually does work. My friend is also doing it, and their debt is disappearing also.
My husband and I did think of it. NM
x
What is your husband's take on that? nm
x
Go for it! I met my husband .....sm
2 months after his wife died from a 3 year bout with cancer and we're very happily married.
Good luck!!!
My husband always tries, although he just
doesn't necessarily have the same taste as me. It is a hit and miss with him, but he always tries. This year we did not exchange gifts (agreed upon ahead of time) because I got a new house and he got a new truck. We concentrated on the kids. The only gripe I really have is that he doesn't do much in the way of getting me gifts from the kids on Mother's Day, and he's not much of a card person, although I am.
He helped me clean all week though, did anything I asked pretty much, cleaned up all day today, etc.
Honestly though, I do not agree with the posts below about making a list. I think that a gift should come from the heart and that some thought should be put into it. Things that I just want, I go get them myself.
My husband and I have 2
roundtrip airfare tickets for anywhere in the US. I'm looking for an all-inclusive resort (room, meals, activities), but am having a hard time finding one. Can you help me out with this? Thanks!
My husband
used this for his leg pain due to fibromyalgia but had a very bad reaction to it so was not able to continue to use it. He found a natural supplement online that has helped. Best of luck!!
So, you would be okay with your husband
nm
This is what my husband (sm)
told me last night. I really hope that isn't what is going on. I am going to talk to her again about it again today. She has a cell phone (very near and dear to her heart!) I like for her to have it, so that I know she is okay when she isn't home, but since I now know that she is still smoking, I think I have very good reason to ground her. Hence, she won't be needing the cell phone.
Thanks for the input everyone.
My husband only uses
regular lotion, but he does like to take baths sometimes. He was glad when we moved and got a garden tub so he could soak. He doesn't go out of his way to use bubbles, but he will take one with me with bubbles.
Met my first husband when I was 5, LOL - sm
First crush was Greg. I met him when I was 5. We played together at church. We started "going together" when I was 13. We got married when I was 18. We got divorced when I was 32. Tried again several times. Finally called it quits when I was 37...sigh.
Then there was Stacy....we were together for two years.
Then there is Tommy, we have been together for three years - married for two years.
My husband was the one who
donated the sperm and had it washed, the doctor performed the IUI, and nature created twins. It was a WE effort in my case.
This is your husband
If there's one person in the world you should be honest with, it's your husband. Don't lie about this, this is BIG...just explain to him your feelings and if he loves you and you love him, you can work it out and make both of you happy. But lying WILL come back to bite you in the a$$...trust me, I know...good luck!
My husband was gay
We've been divorced for a while now, but it still hurts like crazy. I don't know anyone who has been through this. Is there anyone out there who's spouse came out to them?
My husband did!
He had to have surgery because otherwise the muscles would have atrophied. Because lifting was required for his job, he was out on disability for 4 months. However, soon afterward a radiologist I knew had it done, and he only took 1 day off and then was back at work, not complaining, and not taking strong pain killers. My hubby is a big guy, and it was hard on him, but he's able to work fine now. He has also had cervical spinal fusion, and the rotator cuff was worse for him, oddly enough.
Husband and I have dog and cat instead!
Kids...no thank you! Decided at around 12-13 or so that I didn't want any. I'm 30 now and haven't changed my mind and don't plan to.
I AM SO MAD AT HUSBAND
I am so mad with this man. Last night he made a comment that all I have to do on my job is sit on my A_ _ and stare at a computer screen. He thinks this job is cushy. I transcribe every foreign doctor known to man for 8-10 hours 5-6 days a week, achieve OVER my line counts and bring home more money than he does and I work from home. What in the world does he think gives him the right to talk down to me? Even though I love it, this is one of the most taxing jobs I have ever had in my life. The mental drain is incomprehensible at times. I was so mad when he came up with that, I would have thrown him out if he would have had anywhere else to go!
mad at husband
Do what I do..i put him in my chair with my own keyboard, a set of headphones and told him i would be back in 30 minutes. And I gave him one of my best enunciating docs to boot. Needless to say....no more sit on my a** comments any more. I put the son in the chair too. Good luck.
Which one, the husband or dog?
He, he!
What do you do when your husband says
He does not love you anymore after 10 years of marriage and 3 kids? He left once about 3 years ago, but came back saying he missed us and loved me and that he was just going through a tough time and he knew he was making a bad choice. I thought we were okay, not smart of me, then he started getting distant and grumpy all the time again, and he told me last night that he tried really hard these last 3 years, mostly for our kids sake and because he cares about me and does not want to leave me high and dry, but he does not love me and is not happy with me. He says we have nothing in common anymore, which we really didn't in the first place, but it was okay until recently.
I don't know what to do. All 3 kids are extremely close to their dad, and he loves them so much, but I feel I should move to where my parents are (next town 20 miles away) but it will be harder for him to see them and also rent is so much higher for housing there. I just feel like I want to be closer to my family because here, I have NO ONE. I moved here because it was his hometown and he was happy. I also have the kids in preschool here, again cheaper than in the town I want to go to. My son will be in first grade and needs speech therapy for developmental delay and I like the people who have been working with him as they know his history. Am I being selfish wanting to take them away from here? I am lost and don't know what to do. Thanks for listening. 
What do you do when husband...
Ditto totally trose. Permanently CLOSE his door except when dealing with/talking about children. Work hard at your job, totally concentrate on YOUR life and family. God is your refuge..will keep you safe and won't lead you wrong. You are strong (else you wouldn't be an mtmomof3) ... you can do this. Will remember you in my prayers.
husband
he sounds like a pig... i say move on
My husband will be right over! LOL!
xx
Is my husband
Because I think we are married to the same guy. Here's my rule: I don't tell him everything, but when asked, I tell the truth. Except when I buy my son an $80 pair of shoes, I shave a few bucks off. Other than that I tell the truth. I know how you feel though. When he comes home if I hear squealing tires on the driveway or the door slams just right, I think, "Uh-oh. What did I do now?"
Is there anyone who has a husband...
like mine...he is an adult and acts like one, he respects what I do for a living, thanks me for working as hard as I do, would never expect me to do everything around the house without him helping out, and is generally a fabulous guy. Sounds like a lot of women are married to self-centered whiners who think THEIR job is the important one. I truly am blessed!
My husband...
I was going to post something similar to this...reading these threads about jerk husbands makes me sooo very grateful for mine. He's handsome, sexy, funny...works doggone hard for us so I can work PT, and still helps around the house in the evenings after work. Guess that's why I've kept him for 20 years---today!!! 
Oh, did I mention he's the bestest dad ever (as our DS puts it)...I could go on and on, but I won't...I am sorry for those who are not blessed with a wonderful man, it truly is a gift!
why the MIL and not your husband?
You are going after the wrong person. Your husband should be beside you all the way 100%. It is his job to talk/deal with his family. If he doesn't or won't, you've got a bigger problem with him than with the outlaws.
Your husband should say something
You are to cleave to husband and wife. If the MIL is not going to handle the situation your husband should definately stand up for you and say if you dont show some respect to my wife stay away. I have a SIL that does not like me either because she married into the family first and thinks I stole some of her thunder, but thank goodness my husband stands up for me. The MIL probably wants to keep peace that is how mine is, so I would talk to your husband about getting the situation resolved. Some people can be so dumb to act that way. Good luck, hope things get better.
What did your husband say about it?
xx
ex-husband
Well, Pammy,
I think you would fit right in with me and my friends' "board." We meet once a week and "discuss things." We all share the blessing of an ex-husband except one. Maybe ex is just so blissfully happy he forgot to tell you, or maybe he is just TOO CHICKEN - you think. In any case, the "board" meets tomorrow night. I'll be thinking of you.
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