forgive me-I didn't realize you were the grandparent!
Posted By: so that somebody's salary can be garnished!! on 2007-08-03
In Reply to: Child support works by you supplying info to them - so that somebody's salary can be garnished!!
 but I also think you, as a grandparent, can supply all the info to CS....my situation was entirely different and I'm sorry I didn't realize you were the grandparent before I posted...
And God Bless you for taking responsibility for your grandkids, my parents would have done zippo!!  
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Thank you! I didn't realize they made computer glasses. Will make an appt. Spit didn't wor
3
Thanks - I didn't realize they didn't like the smell of citrus
I have the feeling he doesnt have a UTI and he's trying to tell me something else, but I'll be taking him to the vets to be safe.
Wow, I didn't realize
Just how lucky I was. My husband bought me wonderful Christmas presents everything that I could definitely use and want. He's a wonderful person and helps with the cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, doing just about anything and everything around the house. I couldn't ask for someone better. I didn't realize just how much I had until I read some of these posts.
I didn't realize that either!
Guess I assumed when wal-mart stopped so would everyone else. Well, for now I will still boycott K-mart but when it gets closer I will go there for some kids toys and that's probably it.
Sorry, didn't realize she used that name. My apologies.
x
ok, sorry-I didn't realize you don't work for them...
guess I didn't realize they were that
much bigger - definitely have not had one then. I have read several articles about the nuthatches saying that they are occasional visitors very far south but this year reports are that there are large groups going way out of there range - apparently conifer forests didn't do well in the north. My little slate colored juncos (snow birds) are here with the snow flurries this morning.
I didn't realize K Mart still had Lay away!
I always loved Lay Away. You could shop and know you got what you needed and save up for it. Yes, the year Walmart did away with Lay away everybody around these parts were really upset. Most people who do lay away do so so they can use cash and not credit. Uggg. Credit. Wish I never heard of a credit card. But that's another story for another day. LOL.
Maybe they had so many kids they didn't realize til now he was gone
What is wrong with people. You have a missing kid you report it!
Reminds me of that movie Home alone.
Wow. I didn't realize the response I was going to receive. Let me all tell you a little sm
something about me (for a change).
I am a very intimate, romantic, sexual (close your eyes if this is offensive), kind of gal. Seriously. My mother always told me I was a "hopeless romantic!" One of my favorite movies is Pretty Woman, for crying out loud. For years, I would shop in the lingerie dept. at various dept. stores, even buying things from Victoria's Secret, mind you. But if there is one thing my husband has done to me over the years is help me to completely lose interest in intimacy and now, sex. He doesn't listen to me, doesn't compliment me, doesn't touch me at all during the day. It's saddened me so much over the past few years. If we meet up after work he'll just go on about his business, not reaching to give me a kiss, ask me about my day, nothing.
The fact that he approached me the other night was actually surprising. Yes, he's trying. But what is a woman to do when after so many years of neglect? Jump at him? Tackle him? I can't. I simply can't. I'm suffering from low self worth as it is due to his lack of communicating any kind of affection or concern to me. I don't know how to gain it back. I don't know how to get back that spark. It's not there. It saddens me so much, but it's true.
So, give me a little more credit.
I didn't realize I started the same as the topic below - nm
haha
didn't realize this problem was so rampant!
my mom would not have been able to survive had my dad not paid child support for all of us kids when they were divorced. out of the seven of us, four were still at home when they divorced. when it got down to just me and my mom (i'm the youngest), that child support paid most of our bills. my dad was in the air force though so i'm sure they wouldn't have let him get away with not paying.
my transient brother is 33 and has several children in different states. he was married once, never sees those three kids and just had his $3000 tax refund garnished to pay arrears for them. i bet his ex was happy to receive that fat check! i don't know how old his other children are but he just had one with a girlfriend this past october (i worry about that little boy every single day and probably will for the rest of my life) and has run out on them too. i imagine the support he owes is in the tens of thousands. he moves from state to state and from job to job to avoid having to pay.
my first daughter's sperm donor was a rapist who was never caught. while that in itself sucks, i am so glad i don't have to deal with child support and custody battles. i've managed to make it through without having to deal with all that, and my husband is the only father my little girl will ever know.
Gosh, I didn't realize it was December 15th already. Thanks. nm
nm
Cutting out the grandparent(s) sm
Please before you take such drastic measures, try everything possible to get your message across in a nice way. The pain of not seeing grandkids is so great and once you lose the offending person you may wish you had them back in your life so you could talk it all over and keep them in your life. My MIL was awful, awful, used to think she suffered from xenerism but miss her. I wish I would have been more patient with her instead of hurting her and my husband by dreading her visits. Life is temporary. I can remember my horror the day my dad showed my grandmother to the door for offering me candy, He literally threw her out. I will never forget how hurt I felt for her. I was only four but my heart was broken and I can still see it in my mind. There are other ways rather than banning someone from your life or your children's lives. I know this will make you even madder, so please don't flame me. Just my humble experience. Unless there is a personal injury, things can be talked over rationally I hope and rules can be set, even if you have to write it down in a nicely-worded card or note. Don't be sorry at the funeral..You have a brain or you wouldn't be a transcriptionist, be the adult but don't be mean about it. Banning is being very drastic IMHO.
grandparent's death
I think you should tell them. My first close loss was my grandfather was when I was 12. It was actually unexpected. I believe they are old enough to understand and they would probably be more disappointed if someone slipped up and said something or they overheard it rather than being told up front. That way they can have some time to process it and hopefully can enjoy the time they have left with their grandfather. Please know you and your family have been lifted in my prayers.
split time between home and grandparent's farm
When I got divorced, I left my home town and moved 1000 miles away. Stayed there 2-1/2 years, came back to my home town's neighboring state for 3 years, but back to the neighboring state that was 1000 miles away again...
now I'm back in my home town.
I moved to several different areas in those locales during that time, so I actually moved a total of 9 times in 7 years. I am sick of moving my king size bedroom, but I will probably move again next year, just a mile or so away though. I hope it's the last move!
I think you can forgive
but that doesn't mean you have to live with it. I have forgiven my EX-husband. lol
Should I forgive? and if so how??? (sm)
My husband hit me about 4 years ago...he slammed my head into a pole on our carport and pulled my hair, bruised my arms, cursed in my face. It was a shock to me because he had never acted that way before, although he had been somewhat aggressive in the past. It wasn't even a big argument, and I was stunned. I left for a week and made him go to anger management counselling. He went to two sessions, I came back home and he quit going. He has never hit me again. It has been four years. But he was never terribly sorry.... I have never felt the same way about him since. I have never wanted to be intimate with him since. I don't even like him touching me. I have prayed, been to marriage counsellors, tried to change my feelings toward him and I just can't.
It seems ridiculous to me to think of divorcing a man for something he did four years ago but I can't seem to feel anything for him anymore. What do I do?
I think you should forgive them both...
maybe not forget, but try not to hold a grudge. Keep in mind that your mother raised you and loves you the way you love your own children and it probably hurts her terribly that she hears nothing from you. It's Christmas time. If ever there was a time to try our best to be Christ-like, I suppose this is it.
I would definitely forgive them sm
and move forward as you normally would but would be cautious in the future. Should they gossip about you in the future I would definitely curtail your time around them - they could be toxic
Please forgive the typos . . .
Trying to help feed Baby Alive while typing. LOL Apparently Santa did a good thing this year.
How many times could you forgive...
Your spouse for having an affair? I just found out that a friend of mine's husband has left her twice for another woman and both times she has forgiven him (this happened before we met). I just don't know if I could do that twice, once MAYBE, but certainly not twice...how bout you?
I say forgive, of course, but forget, NO WAY......sm
To be a true friend and truly care for someone, you first have to respect them and honor their dignity....how can care for anyone, friend, lover, or whatever, if you cannot be TRUTHFUL? How can you say you respect someone whiile blatantly lying to them? As a Christian and hopefully good person, I belive we always have to forgive, but to forget as if nothing had happened, that is impossible, I would think. She betrayed you by lying, not by seeing your ex, that is HER problem if she wants a second-hand loser, but friendship is a sacred bond, I am sure you can forge some newer, better friendships, can you ever feel any confidence in this woman again? Just my firm opinion, I had this done to me many years ago when very young, and although we tried, the friendship was never the same, for obvious reasons. God bless in your decision!
I can forgive, but how to forget?
a few weeks back my youngest son was injured. My mother came by to bring him some ice cream. For some reason something i said or did made my mother angry. I did not know this at the time. My husband and I went to lunch with said child, my mother and grandmother the next day. I noticed they were acting rather stiff and one time hubby, child and I went to the bathroom. When I walked back to the table M and G promptly stopped talking. Confused, the next day I called and asked the grandmother if I had done something wrong. Out of the blue she stated that she didn't think i should not let one child do something without the other (speaking about a birthday party they were BOTH invited to) I laughed and told her they had both been invited, that the child invited all of his friends and their brothers and I would never dream of self inviting my child to a party!!! Anyway I called my mother and told her the same thing. They both still sounded rather stiff. Well along came Thanksgiving. My MIL came over to our house so we didn't go to my grandma's house. My sister in law then told me all the things that were said about me...that I treat my oldest like crap, my youngest is a spoiled brat, etc. and that my grandma was actually CRYING because she believes my oldest is treated so badly. I honestly have NO CLUE where they got all of this!! I was flabbergasted!!! I just wrote them both off and just never really wanted to talk to them. No confrontation, nothing. I didn't even return their calls.
So today my grandma stops by unannounced and begs me to forgive her and that she wants to see my boys some time during christmas. SHe won't talk about the incident, what sparked it or even what the heck my mom thinks is so bad about how i have treated my oldest. I'm at a loss. On one hand I really want to get together with her. She is just going on something that someone else told her about me. On the other hand I feel like my every move will be judged if I am around her with my kids. I told her I forgive her and I honestly do, but i'm not sure how to get past this. I'm having a Christmas lunch Saturday with my brother. Should I invite her or just say to heck with it and not see her?
no more forgive and forget posts
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081219/ap_on_re_us/palin_johnston_arrest
Please forgive the double post. Wise NM
x
Be the bigger person and forgive! Course my opinion
What makes some people forgive so easily and others not so easy? sm
The reason I ask is that I am in a very unique situation. I have a family member (an in law) who basically hates me. She and I have sort of been at it on and off for 8 years. She's a very mean person, very judgmental, hates everybody. I mean, seriously. It's bad. She rubbed off on me for too long. We were friends! I used to point and make fun at others ONLY when around her. When I finally caught on that she was not a very good influence and that I was so easily pursuaded by her meanness towards other people (backstabbing, etc), I began to keep my distance. And she caught on. Now she hates me. For no reason, really, other than I don't call her anymore, don't hang out with her anymore. And here lately she has been doing evil things to me like returning cards I've sent to her family with a giant "return to sender" on the envelope, getting her sister against me (I mean, come on, how old are we??), etc. She will be at my mother in law's for the holidays with her kids and I am cringing inside. In fact, just today, I received a nasty email from her when I got home saying some pretty mean things, calling me crazy, insane, etc. which I know I'm not, but it hurts anyways to hear stuff like that. She has a very hard time forgiving people, I've seen it over and over in her life, and now it has come to the fact that I need her to forgive me in order for ME to have peace in my life. It's just the kind of person that I am. I am totally willing to look past all the mean things she's done and said the past year and try to move forward positively!
So, fast forward. I've written her an email basically BEGGING for her forgiveness and saying I'm sorry for whatever I've done to hurt you (I know I've hurt her by not wanting to be around her,etc), and told her it wasn't good for us to be on the outs like this. I am pretty sensitive (if you can't tell already), and I really, really, really wish she could get past all of this and just forgive. We all need a little forgiveness, don't we?? What do you think? Why is it that some are so easily forgiven and others will go to their grave filled with HATE? I don't understand it one bit.
I'm not saying I'm any better than she is. I know I'm not. I just don't have an evil vein in my body to not forgive people and I HATE when others talk about others behind their backs. It's mean. I grew up around that stuff and once I reached adulthood and realized that I didn't need to talk about others to make myself feel better, I hated being around it. Give me some advice. Should I send the letter?
Please help me. Would you send it? She obviously needs love. What would you do? Would you just tell her to forget it and move on or would you be like her and hate back? 
Sorry meant sequins - this is a forum not work - please forgive me for not proofing
**
YIKES! I shoulda proofread before posting. Forgive all the typos and omissions!
Maybe they do, and you just don't realize that's what it is??
nm
Of course I realize that, but
Nonetheless, she looked great! I was surprised to see her showing off her "new body", but looks like maybe just a hoax? Whatta waste of a lives these young Hollywood's are...
I think you need to realize
your feelings are about a fantasy, not about a real relationship. He himself has already given you information that when it is over it is over. He obviously does not share your feelings. He can treat you very well but it is e-mail. In real life he has gas, stinky feet, cranky moods like everyone. Older men and younger women is a dangerous situation. They enjoy your adoration but don't return it. It is difficult but the longer you go the more you will be hurt and the more of your life you will waste on a fantasy. Remember when you had a crush on a celebrity when you were a young teen and felt like it was true love and would never end? It is about the same thing. I don't judge you -- I have had experiences that I look back on now and see what time I wasted and regret that I could have focused on other things in my life. I hope you don't do the same.
So, what if you realize you
have an unstable dog, but you realize it because the first unprovoked attack was a deadly one? Too late.
I think you are being irresponsible if you ever let anyone step foot in your house if it causes your dog to feel anxious. You are tempting fate, my friend.
I would not even realize if it were my
DH but the OP is having a problem with it, she probably thinks he is talking with someone he does not want her to know about, that is the problem.
Maybe they realize their matriarch has gone
Its usually the case that "grandma" keeps the extended family together. It happened when my grandma died, and will happen again on a smaller scale when my mother dies. She's the one they all kept in contact with, the one that knew where everybody went and what they're up to. Talking to her you got to hear about the whole family (whether you felt like it or not). So now she's gone, people will drift off, lose touch, stop having big family gatherings with her at the center. Kiss half your cousins goodbye, because by the next funeral, nobody will know how to get in touch with them any more. I'd say they're mourning for the family in general, because things will probably never be the same again with the center gone.
I realize you just can't back off now.
Carefree & happy? Relatively speaking, sure. But "proud" isn't how I would describe feeling about that.
I've done plenty of therapy in my life, thanks, but it was unrelated to the above issue.
If you stop attacking me publicly now, you will just lose too much face, so go ahead, take your best shot. After this last post I wondered: What would make this person satisfied? That I be bent & suffering with remorse & guilt? Would you feel better then? Sorry, but it just doesn't work that way. I simply feel okay about my past, so I can't help you there. I suppose there is nothing I can do to make you feel better. I think you should work on feeling more forgiving of yourself for decisions you've made in your past, & then you will not feel the need to attack others for the mistakes you yourself have made.
I hope this gives you more than just a giggle, & rather than pollute the board with any more of your mouthings, I'd rather have you contact me directly at my e-mail address if you really think there is more you need to get off your chest. But I doubt you will do this because of the element of performance there is to your posts, & I doubt it will help because I would just be a substitute for you. At any rate, you are welcome to e-mail me.
I think it is important to realize that...
the world does not revolve around us. If there is not a huge amount of fighting or abuse of some sort, why should she deprive her children of their father. Often, I think children say what their parents want to hear about the other parent. My 33-year-old brother still does. There are worse things than waking up and going to bed with a person whom you do not love. And - I bet that if she tried, she could still find something she does love about him. I really think that society has made divorce to acceptable. There is just no incentive to stick it out through the tough times that everyone has.
That is good that you realize that though...
some people don't realize that until after they have kids and then their children suffer because of it...Good for you for not wanting to bring a child into the world knowing it may have special needs as well...I applaud that...I love my two children but definitely do not want any more--lol
After reading all of these posts, I realize
How lucky I am!
My ex, and my hubby's ex, were both people who always needed to be in a crisis...and if there was none, they'd create it.
Luckily, after we'd both divorced we found each other. We have a peaceful life, and my inlaws and his inlaws are all great people and it's a joy and great fun when we get together.
I give thanks to God for my good fortune!
It sounds like he just doesn't realize sm
that you would love for him to call you first. I don't care how many hints you drop, men just don't realize certain things unless we flat out tell them. Have been married almost 20 years to a wonderful man, but sometimes he still just doesn't get it. It is very true that "we learned everything we needed to know in kindergarten, boys are st*pid" LOL
You do realize that with Katrina damage
At least in Mississippi and Lousiana part....they may have rebuilt some hotels but the surrounding locality looks like a war zone; most of the boat docks and walking/fishing piers were completely destroyed and probably haven't been rebuilt, and many of the cute local beach restaurants are gone. It might be educational re Katrina damage if that's what you're after...but it's not what I'd call a happy place to vacation at this time.
To GF: Do you realize that the all caps is yelling?
I think you should realize that first before you get upset with everyone here.
You are yelling through your all cap typing.
You're right.... kids have to realize they have....sm
to be responsible and adults shouldn't be held to bail them out all of the time.
Why should an adult give up their money because a teenager was irresponsible?
I realize this is a private matter, but
is there someone close to the both of you that could be present when you tell him. Ordinarily, I would recommend meeting him in a public place, but in this case, since it is a financial affair, I wouldn't recommend that. However, if there is someone you are both close to, perhaps you could have them present (even if only in the other room) while you tell him.
Another possibility may be to discuss this with your in-laws first. Again, I wouldn't ordinarily recommend this, but they appear to already be involved in your financial matters since you borrowed the money from them for the car. Depending on their reaction, perhaps you could all sit down together and they could help you work this out.
If all else fails, call your attorney and schedule a meeting where he will mediate. I would not tell this man alone in person. It doesn't sound like a safe thing to do.
She was a stray. I did not realize she did not belong to anyone
until after she was pregnant. We adopted her or she adopted us. I do plan on getting her fixed.
Ms. Manners, maybe you need to come up with the times and realize that not everything in this world
anymore, but people do what they do to be happy in this world. You should try it, you might like it.
Exactly. Plus, don't people realize that Texas is weird?
nm
Sometimes people don't realize how important the little things are...
Until they go through a loss themselves. Last year I lost my father and cherished every card I received. At the same time, I also felt terrible about the times I had neglected to send a card to someone else. I had thought at the time they were inadequate and probably unnoticed until I was going through it myself. Now I realize how important they are.
Don't be too hard on your friends and co-workers. One day they'll likely feel remorseful, as I do.
Gosh, these posts make me realize how much I love
He does none of what has been talked about here. I am blessed beyond measure...
What's funny is that for a long time I did not realize it was all abuse (sm)
I knew the physical part was abuse. Other than that I thought he was a jerk, quirky ideas about things, a hard-nose, hard-headed, rude...but I never realized it was all abuse until I finally started reading up on it. Apparently in these situations we start to accept things little by little as being normal. Like slowly boiling before you realize you're done.
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