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easier to blame you than look in the mirror!

Posted By: Boo on 2009-02-12
In Reply to: Our son owes us an apology? - Backwards typist

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Look in mirror
They say a man often choses a wife that resembles his mother -- so perhaps you had better look in the mirror.  She is not undermining you at all.  I think you have somewhat of a self esteem and control issue.   I miss my MIL from my divorce as she was my best friend and when her son did me wrong, although it is hard I understand why she chose not to remain close.  It was not because she chose him over me but more she loved me enough to let go so he would stop bugging me and put my life through chaos time and time again.  Anyway, chill out, it could be worse.  
Maybe he could put in a one-way mirror.
Maybe online confessions will take off...

http://www.absolution-online.com/confessional/index.php3
If I looked in the mirror too much . . .
I would see the devil. Yep, my mom was very religious. I actually didn't believe it. As a curious child I would stare into the mirror because I wanted to see him -never happened.
did you put the mirror on the wrong way?
the mirror should be outside and the birds see themselves.  When I was at the store you could see the birds perfectly.
At my last in-house job I had a rear-view mirror
I kid you not. My work station was situated so my back was to the door and I'm like you - when I am concentrating on something I get startled very easily. But usually I would catch a flicker of movement in the mirror and look over so people couldn't sneak up on me. In fact, people who didn't know the mirror was there were really surprised when I said hello to them without even turning around!
Easier said that done...
he gets a telephone call every a.m. to be called to work and that wakes me anyway. Then he's gone for 14 to 16 hours a day, so we used that 1/2 hour or so in the am to catch up with each other. Can't get back to sleep right away, so why not type and make a few $$$. You just do what you gotta do. Mamma never told me life would be easy
this should really be easier!

 







Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?


Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.


Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.


 


 


Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.


Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.


They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.


 


 


What kind of men were they?


Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners: men of means, well educated. But they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.


 


 


Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts and died in rags.


Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.


 


 


Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton. At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr. noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.


 


Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months. John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning to find his wife dead and his children vanished. A few weeks later he died from exhaustion and a broken heart. Norris and Livingston suffered similar fates.


 


 


Such were the stories and sacrifices of the American Revolution. These were not wild-eyed, rabble-rousing ruffians. They were soft-spoken men of means and education. They had security, but they valued liberty more. Standing tall and straight, and unwavering, they pledged: For the support of the declaration, with firm reliance on the protection of the divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.


 


 


They gave you and me a free and independent America. The history books told you a lot of what happened in the Revolutionary War. We didn't fight just the British. We were British subjects at that time and we fought our own government!


Some of us take these liberties so much for granted, but we shouldn't. So take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.


 


 


 


Sometimes easier said than done.
nm
Good job!!! Keep it up. It will get easier
I am going on two years of "cold turkey". I wish you the best, it is worth it.
And much easier to deal with
///
huh? boys much easier? NOT...NM
     
That's cool, but for me it's easier to
grow the flowers than keep the feeder clean and filled. Cause I'd have some kind of flowers anyway, LOL.
Is it me or do the guys have it easier?!

How come a guy can waltz in and land the high-paying job without a degree, yet the woman has to have the proof of degree in hand, the multiple references (which with us are ALWAYS checked--men hardly ever), and the johnny-on-the-spot answers to such stupid-ass questions as, "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?"  ...all for a job (whether it's this field or whatever) with crappy benefits and crappy pay and even crappier treatment when you want time to also do the most noble thing of all and be a mother. 


This was in easier times...
when MTing was still a lucrative profession with good line rates and a better economy.
Dating's easier said that done
I miss dating. For me, there's a satisfaction or companionship that I get from a male partner that I don't get from work or family. Unfortunately, living where I do and working like I do, I'm not really coming across a lot of available ones. With my children's blessing, I've done internet dating, but the last couple of times have turned out very very badly. There aren't a lot of social venues where I am so I'm out of luck there. The one guy I dated told me that a single employed 'mature' woman, I was a bit of a commodity as there has been an exodus out of the rural areas, but that has not translated into my dance card being filled. Oh, well. I probably shouldn't let myself be distracted from work anyway. But, gosh, I miss a deep male voice asking me how I'm doing.
Yes but found they get stained easier
the more you bleach them, kind of like once you start it you have to do it all the time. The teeth become porous from the bleach and then just grab color/stains, especially if you drink coffee/cola. Sort of like when you bleach hair. Just what I have observed.
MT way sounds much easier and quicker.
x
Those are so cute and fun to decorate. Easier
xx
yes, getting in touch with Talon might be easier. Thanks nm
.,
My youngest is much easier than the older 2 were...
With my oldest 2, it was easy before they turned 18 - they HAD to be in by 11:00 because of junior licenses. After they turned 18, I think it was 10 on school nights and midnight on weekends unless they were spending the night somewhere. DD was the one to argue at every turn. Drove us crazy. Now my youngest DS on the other hand, is such a homebody. He got his license in October and he doesn't go further than a mile or so to hang out with his friends or his cousin. That might all change some day, so we'll see.
Because I choose not too...I am not complaining, just said it would be easier.
nm
You can, but I find iTunes to be easier.
iTunes and iPods play well together. Rhapsody works, but it will put music in a different library on your computer unless you specify that iTunes and Rhapsody are using the same. Also, anything you purchase through the iTunes Store can be transferred from your iPod to your computer. That came in handy when my hard drive died! I hear that you can do that with your non-iTunes purchases, but it sounded complicated to me. I just find iTunes is easier to deal with.
Agreed--harnesses are much easier & safer :)

When we lived in the city, we let both of our cats out on leashes but they wore harnesses, mainly so they couldn't slip loose.  They did start out as kittens with them though, not as adult cats.  They would hear me jingle their leashes and harnesses and come RUNNING to be tied outside to the little backyard there.  They absolutely loved it and the worst that would happen is they would get tangled to each other and around a bush.  I was always around to supervise though...usually enjoying morning coffee out on the back deck listening to the thumping cars and sirened-vehicles drive by.  Man do I miss the city--NOT! 


Good luck with your kitty!  I'm sure you'll be fine!   


Which are easier to raise -- boys or girls?
I was always told boys.  I had 2 girls and uff-dah what a hormonal nightmare.  Now I have a teenage boy and those hormones are at least as bad.  Prolly worse.
This will make identity theft easier. Our DMV had the
computers stolen, and so whoever did it had access to personal information. Now they will have all the personal information they need without having to dig for it. Homeland Security and other government agencies have had computers stolen.

As far as electronic tracking, not long ago there was a push to have micro chips implanted in all school kids.


I don't blame you (sm)
One bit for being mad. I would be too. It definitely doesn't seem fair. I mean, if this is common practice, you could spill coffee on your carpet and get all new. It really doesn't make sense.

By the way, I hope everything works out for you, and I'm very sorry about the trouble you are having. It sounds like a matter of insurance companies being bombarded with claims due to mass damage in your area, so they are getting stingy with their pay outs. Definitely not fair. Is the state isnurance commissioner doing anything to help?
Please don't blame yourself. (sm)
I do not know if this has anything to do with your situation, but I thought I would share.

My mother experienced a similar situation in regards to my oldest sister (5 other siblings). The counselor told my parents that my sister was attention-seeking. She was in her 30s and married with children when they sought counselling together. She is now in her late 60s. Our mother is still living and in her late 80s, and my sister still has her moments.

"Birth order effect" is very interesting:

1st born must cope with the loss of attention to 2nd born.

2nd born must constantly cope with the attention-seeking 1st born.

3rd born must cope with a perfectionist 2nd born, and it keeps going on.

Our 38-year-old daughter also has her moments, but overall we have a very good mother/daughter relationship.

My opinion only, but I think a daughter's personality can be affected by the relationship with their dad. My husband was diagnosed with a passive-aggressive personality, and I do think our daughter was affected by his personality. But, instead of arguing with her, which is a trait of a PA personality seeking attention, I try to avoid conflict and praise her often, as she can be kind and loving, and God has been blessed her with many talents.

May God bless you and your daughter to experience a more loving relationship is my prayer.
I don't blame you
I saw one of those in my flower bed one time and almost had a heart attack.
I do not blame you.
Maybe couples should fill out questionnaires before getting married that include questions about vacations as well as the usual concerns.

Oh yeah, I guess they probably cover that if you use one of those on-line dating services like e-harmony.
I don't blame you....

With all of that happening...your daughter's safety is #1.  Even though she got suspended.  I would still have her carry something like the pepper spray again for her protection just in case, but tell her to be extremely discrete about it and not show or tell anyone about it, not even her friends.  You can never be too protective when it comes to your children, in my opinion.  I would ask the people you are meeting with if it was their daughter what would they do?  If your daughter is attacked, she may be scarred emotionally/mentally for the rest of her life.  I have 4 of my own, and I would do anything to protect them.  Your a good parent; I would have done the same thing.


I don't blame the mom
13 years old is too young to have a boyfriend. 
I don't blame you for being really sm
mad and I sure wouldn't have anything to do with her anymore, but not everybody has a work ethic like that. My hubby has been doing work for friends for probably close to 40 years and WOULD NEVER EVER do something like that. Actually he underbids himself alot and is happy to do it for people What goes around comes around and it has for us in many many instances when we were on the end needing help.

Don't let this color your faith in people. You just had a bad experience like we all have had at one time or another for one reason or another. If it hadn't been this it would have been something else with the same people. It just took 7 years but it would have happened!
I don't blame you~
How aggravating that must be.. I hate dealing with people over the phone like that.. It stresses me to no end & I can't even work some days with that kind of junk.. hoping you are having a better day by now..
please don't blame his heritage...this could have--sm
been anyone from anywhere. He was more american than he was korean and I really don't think his nationality had anything to do with his emotional state. I am not defending him or what he did, but please don't make more of it than what it is. There is going to be enough anger about all of this when the shock wears off and it just does not need to become a race thing, too. JMO
I don't blame you for feeling that way at all...but (sm)
I really think if you say anything it is just going to put a wedge between you and your dad and your new *relative*. It stinks though, I agree with you!
Clearly to blame for what? In your mind. nm
.
well i always blame work!
so they can't find out a lied because i work at home !! :)

I do get what you are saying, but if they are my friends I ESPECIALLY wouldn't want to tell them i dont feel like hanging out! Maybe that's part of my immaturity and im on the road to working on that :)
Really can't blame the govt on this one - sm
We all take responsibility for ourselves.

Let's talk about the decisions we make and advertising.

Some people see an ad for some kind of "miracle" weight loss drug. We know it isn't going to work the way the ad says it will but... still, some people buy it, the company makes big money.

Same thing with some of these shady lenders. They may be sitting on a lot of foreclosures at a time but they will STILL make a lot of money off of the rest of the people.

Now lets talk credit cards.

Same thing here. I have a Discover card that I had paid off about 2 years ago. I still had a sizable balance on another card but my plan was to close the Discover and keep the other and pay it off too.

When I called Discover to close my account after I had paid it off, they wanted to keep me of course so they offered me a fixed rate of 3.99% for three years on any balance transfers, no transfer fees, etc.

Okay. I kept the Discover, transferred the balance and closed the other card. I am now 2 months from having it paid off again but....... even though I have requested numerous times that they NOT raise my available credit, they keep doing it. My available credit is now up to $14,000.00.

Excuse me but I am NOT that stupid as to charge that much on a credit card, no matter what the interest rate is but..... Some people do it and end up in big trouble.

The trick of it is that people need to be smarter than that. It's OUR money, OUR risk. Card companies don't give a rip if they over extend credit to people. They will find a way to squeeze the money out of them.
I don't blame the stores at all
Its a vicious circle for everyone, and everyone is loosing money. The stores because people won't buy what they used to and the consumer because they have to pay so much more for what they do get!!!
I'm sorry for your friend, but you can't blame the dr.

My mother had the exact same ailments - diabetes that she did not control as well as she should that eventually led to kidney failure, liver failure and death.   Mom was always concerned about what other people thought, yet she never failed to ask questions of her physicians.  If she didn't get an answer that made sense to her, she continued to ask.  She was very stoic so sometimes the drs wouldn't take her as seriously as they needed to take her and there were several instances where something went on waaay too long because Mom wasn't kicking and screaming about it.


Be that as it may, it is YOUR health.  If you don't understand something, it is YOUR responsibility to ask questions until you do.  It doesn't and shouldn't matter if the doctor is English speaking or not.  If you don't understand something, ask.  You are your own best advocate for your health.


She needs to take someone with her to every appointment from now on.  I hope she gets the kidney she needs.


I don't blame you, you did the right thing.
If you're taking care of them, they're fine at their own house.  The owners should understand that.  If they can afford to take all of these trips, they can afford to board them.  It's not your responsibility to provide them with dogsitting service whenever they want to go somewhere.  My sister has two very big, very obnoxious German Shepherds.  They are bullies and their behavior isawful, one even flunked out of obedience school.  She has asked if they could come to my house when she has went on a trip and I've had to say no.  I have 2 Rottweilers, but they are quiet and calm in the house.  I also have a cat who co-exists with my dogs just fine.  My sister had the nerve to say "but they don't like cats, so you'd probably have to lock him up somwhere while they were here!" WHAT???  I don't feel bad about saying no and you shouldn't either.
If it were me, I'd totally blame my husband.
You mention in your post your BIL had a trailer stolen and a vehicle broken into at his house so that should have been reason enough to get a little energy up to take them off the trailer. A tough lesson learned, yes, but it's only 1700 dollars. Did you happen to see the other post above where a woman is in danger of losing her house?
I don't blame you. Have you checked zillow.com
or had an appraisal lately?  Not that it matters - but would be something to shove at them if they get pushy - unless of course it comes in lower than you want.  If you don't NEED to sell - hang on to it if at all possible.  We sold our land 5 years ago and wish we would have held onto it - it almost never depreciates!!  Best of luck to ya
blame to person who put it out there and didn't keep an eye on it. can't sm
blame the lady for buying it at the price the daughter stated whether she knew what it was or didn't know what it was. fancy cars mean nothing these days. i pay more for a nonfancy car than most pay for a fancy car because i don't have good credit so it cost me twice as much. why are you saying the person who bought it is a rotten person? she gave the price that was asked for it. why lay the blame on her? would you not have done the same thing. garage salers and buyers are out for deals period. why would she not high tail it out of the neighborhood to fly to more garage sales if that was what she was out shopping for that day? what would you had done had you caught up with her? asked her to give it back? that would be rotten in itself. she got a deal. get over it. geez! it isn't the poor lady's fault and doesn't make her rotten.
I am asking in all honesty to not blame the stores
My family is in the grocery business, and like jss said, everything is going up. I don't believe the stores are trying to make a profit off of the bad economy, but groceries have to be trucked in (paying the drivers, the gas, the workers that package the items, etc.). Outrageous prices are eveywhere. My father refused to order red peppers due to the cost and the fact that he knew his customers would not pay for them. It works both ways.
Honestly I don't blame you for macing
the dog if it's owner isn't going to be responsible enough to keep the dog on his/her property. Have you contacted the owner of the dog and complained? My husband is a K9 officer and he gets these calls ALOT and it ain't all pitbull calls, it is just dogs in general roaming around in other people's yard and not on their own property. The mace won't kill a dog, but it sure does hurt really bad and makes the dog think twice about approaching you.
I would not blame granny. She tried to get daughter
NM
I don't blame you for not wanting a woman
I am a massage therapist (not practicing right now), and I know how it can affect guys (when doing normal professional work ... nothing funky). - I doubt your hubby would be too keen on a male working on him though. : )

Maybe you could do a bit of a strip tease for him or even just whisper in his ear about how hot he is.

I'm just doing a simple, sweet card and a $5.00 scratch-off lottery ticket with a big heart on it ... and probably a bit of hanky-panky. Not to promote drinking, but if you are a bit inhibited, you could drink just a bit to take the edge off (a shot or so). We seem to have extra fun when I do that.
the doctors overdosed him can't blame him if he
now refuses to take it!
I don't blame you for being upset.. afterall..
a vacation is to "get away" from it all, even if does mean your family.. but I am not the best person to give this kind of advice, I absolutely hate to be put in a position where I'm gonna have to "feel mean or bad" about telling them NO~ or I can't do something, etc.. will pray it all works out for you..
Many people do this in this situation and I cannot blame them.............nm
nm