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didn't realize this problem was so rampant!

Posted By: brookeb on 2008-03-26
In Reply to: rant! who's owed the most child support? - XanaX

my mom would not have been able to survive had my dad not paid child support for all of us kids when they were divorced. out of the seven of us, four were still at home when they divorced. when it got down to just me and my mom (i'm the youngest), that child support paid most of our bills. my dad was in the air force though so i'm sure they wouldn't have let him get away with not paying.

my transient brother is 33 and has several children in different states. he was married once, never sees those three kids and just had his $3000 tax refund garnished to pay arrears for them. i bet his ex was happy to receive that fat check! i don't know how old his other children are but he just had one with a girlfriend this past october (i worry about that little boy every single day and probably will for the rest of my life) and has run out on them too. i imagine the support he owes is in the tens of thousands. he moves from state to state and from job to job to avoid having to pay.

my first daughter's sperm donor was a rapist who was never caught. while that in itself sucks, i am so glad i don't have to deal with child support and custody battles. i've managed to make it through without having to deal with all that, and my husband is the only father my little girl will ever know.


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Thank you! I didn't realize they made computer glasses. Will make an appt. Spit didn't wor
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Wow, I didn't realize
Just how lucky I was. My husband bought me wonderful Christmas presents everything that I could definitely use and want. He's a wonderful person and helps with the cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, doing just about anything and everything around the house. I couldn't ask for someone better. I didn't realize just how much I had until I read some of these posts.
I didn't realize that either!
Guess I assumed when wal-mart stopped so would everyone else. Well, for now I will still boycott K-mart but when it gets closer I will go there for some kids toys and that's probably it.
Sorry, didn't realize she used that name. My apologies.
x
ok, sorry-I didn't realize you don't work for them...

guess I didn't realize they were that
much bigger - definitely have not had one then.  I have read several articles about the nuthatches saying that they are occasional visitors very far south but this year reports are that there are large groups going way out of there range - apparently conifer forests didn't do well in the north.  My little slate colored juncos (snow birds) are here with the snow flurries this morning.
I didn't realize K Mart still had Lay away!
I always loved Lay Away. You could shop and know you got what you needed and save up for it. Yes, the year Walmart did away with Lay away everybody around these parts were really upset. Most people who do lay away do so so they can use cash and not credit. Uggg. Credit. Wish I never heard of a credit card. But that's another story for another day. LOL.
Maybe they had so many kids they didn't realize til now he was gone
What is wrong with people. You have a missing kid you report it!

Reminds me of that movie Home alone.
Wow. I didn't realize the response I was going to receive. Let me all tell you a little sm
something about me (for a change).

I am a very intimate, romantic, sexual (close your eyes if this is offensive), kind of gal. Seriously. My mother always told me I was a "hopeless romantic!" One of my favorite movies is Pretty Woman, for crying out loud. For years, I would shop in the lingerie dept. at various dept. stores, even buying things from Victoria's Secret, mind you. But if there is one thing my husband has done to me over the years is help me to completely lose interest in intimacy and now, sex. He doesn't listen to me, doesn't compliment me, doesn't touch me at all during the day. It's saddened me so much over the past few years. If we meet up after work he'll just go on about his business, not reaching to give me a kiss, ask me about my day, nothing.

The fact that he approached me the other night was actually surprising. Yes, he's trying. But what is a woman to do when after so many years of neglect? Jump at him? Tackle him? I can't. I simply can't. I'm suffering from low self worth as it is due to his lack of communicating any kind of affection or concern to me. I don't know how to gain it back. I don't know how to get back that spark. It's not there. It saddens me so much, but it's true.
So, give me a little more credit.
I didn't realize I started the same as the topic below - nm
haha
forgive me-I didn't realize you were the grandparent!

  but I also think you, as a grandparent, can supply all the info to CS....my situation was entirely different and I'm sorry I didn't realize you were the grandparent before I posted...


 


And God Bless you for taking responsibility for your grandkids, my parents would have done zippo!!     


Gosh, I didn't realize it was December 15th already. Thanks. nm
nm
Maybe they do, and you just don't realize that's what it is??
nm
Of course I realize that, but
Nonetheless, she looked great! I was surprised to see her showing off her "new body", but looks like maybe just a hoax? Whatta waste of a lives these young Hollywood's are...
I think you need to realize
your feelings are about a fantasy, not about a real relationship.  He himself has already given you information that when it is over it is over. He obviously does not share your feelings.  He can treat you very well but it is e-mail.  In real life he has gas, stinky feet, cranky moods like everyone. Older men and younger women is a dangerous situation.  They enjoy your adoration but don't return it. It is difficult but the longer you go the more you will be hurt and the more of your life you will waste on a fantasy.  Remember when you had a crush on a celebrity when you were a young teen and felt like it was true love and would never end?  It is about the same thing.  I don't judge you -- I have had experiences that I look back on now and see what time I wasted and regret that I could have focused on other things in my life. I hope you don't do the same.  
So, what if you realize you

have an unstable dog, but you realize it because the first unprovoked attack was a deadly one?  Too late. 


I think you are being irresponsible if you ever let anyone step foot in your house if it causes your dog to feel anxious.  You are tempting fate, my friend.


I would not even realize if it were my
DH but the OP is having a problem with it, she probably thinks he is talking with someone he does not want her to know about, that is the problem.
Maybe they realize their matriarch has gone

Its usually the case that "grandma" keeps the extended family together.  It happened when my grandma died, and will happen again on a smaller scale when my mother dies.  She's the one they all kept in contact with, the one that knew where everybody went and what they're up to.  Talking to her you got to hear about the whole family (whether you felt like it or not).  So now she's gone, people will drift off, lose touch, stop having big family gatherings with her at the center.  Kiss half your cousins goodbye, because by the next funeral, nobody will know how to get in touch with them any more.  I'd say they're mourning for the family in general, because things will probably never be the same again with the center gone.


I realize you just can't back off now.
Carefree & happy? Relatively speaking, sure. But "proud" isn't how I would describe feeling about that.

I've done plenty of therapy in my life, thanks, but it was unrelated to the above issue.

If you stop attacking me publicly now, you will just lose too much face, so go ahead, take your best shot. After this last post I wondered: What would make this person satisfied? That I be bent & suffering with remorse & guilt? Would you feel better then? Sorry, but it just doesn't work that way. I simply feel okay about my past, so I can't help you there. I suppose there is nothing I can do to make you feel better. I think you should work on feeling more forgiving of yourself for decisions you've made in your past, & then you will not feel the need to attack others for the mistakes you yourself have made.

I hope this gives you more than just a giggle, & rather than pollute the board with any more of your mouthings, I'd rather have you contact me directly at my e-mail address if you really think there is more you need to get off your chest. But I doubt you will do this because of the element of performance there is to your posts, & I doubt it will help because I would just be a substitute for you. At any rate, you are welcome to e-mail me.
I think it is important to realize that...
the world does not revolve around us. If there is not a huge amount of fighting or abuse of some sort, why should she deprive her children of their father. Often, I think children say what their parents want to hear about the other parent. My 33-year-old brother still does. There are worse things than waking up and going to bed with a person whom you do not love. And - I bet that if she tried, she could still find something she does love about him. I really think that society has made divorce to acceptable. There is just no incentive to stick it out through the tough times that everyone has.
That is good that you realize that though...
some people don't realize that until after they have kids and then their children suffer because of it...Good for you for not wanting to bring a child into the world knowing it may have special needs as well...I applaud that...I love my two children but definitely do not want any more--lol
After reading all of these posts, I realize
How lucky I am!

My ex, and my hubby's ex, were both people who always needed to be in a crisis...and if there was none, they'd create it.

Luckily, after we'd both divorced we found each other. We have a peaceful life, and my inlaws and his inlaws are all great people and it's a joy and great fun when we get together.

I give thanks to God for my good fortune!
It sounds like he just doesn't realize sm
that you would love for him to call you first. I don't care how many hints you drop, men just don't realize certain things unless we flat out tell them. Have been married almost 20 years to a wonderful man, but sometimes he still just doesn't get it. It is very true that "we learned everything we needed to know in kindergarten, boys are st*pid" LOL
You do realize that with Katrina damage

At least in Mississippi and Lousiana part....they may have rebuilt some hotels but the surrounding locality looks like a war zone; most of the boat docks and walking/fishing piers were completely destroyed and probably haven't been rebuilt, and many of the cute local beach restaurants are gone.  It might be educational re Katrina damage if that's what you're after...but it's not what I'd call a happy place to vacation at this time.


To GF: Do you realize that the all caps is yelling?
I think you should realize that first before you get upset with everyone here.

You are yelling through your all cap typing.


You're right.... kids have to realize they have....sm
to be responsible and adults shouldn't be held to bail them out all of the time.

Why should an adult give up their money because a teenager was irresponsible?
I realize this is a private matter, but

is there someone close to the both of you that could be present when you tell him.  Ordinarily, I would recommend meeting him in a public place, but in this case, since it is a financial affair, I wouldn't recommend that.  However, if there is someone you are both close to, perhaps you could have them present (even if only in the other room) while you tell him. 


Another possibility may be to discuss this with your in-laws first.  Again, I wouldn't ordinarily recommend this, but they appear to already be involved in your financial matters since you borrowed the money from them for the car.  Depending on their reaction, perhaps you could all sit down together and they could help you work this out. 


If all else fails, call your attorney and schedule a meeting where he will mediate.  I would not tell this man alone in person.  It doesn't sound like a safe thing to do.


She was a stray. I did not realize she did not belong to anyone

until after she was pregnant.  We adopted her or she adopted us.  I do plan on getting her fixed. 


Ms. Manners, maybe you need to come up with the times and realize that not everything in this world
anymore, but people do what they do to be happy in this world.  You should try it, you might like it.
Exactly. Plus, don't people realize that Texas is weird?
nm
Sometimes people don't realize how important the little things are...
Until they go through a loss themselves. Last year I lost my father and cherished every card I received. At the same time, I also felt terrible about the times I had neglected to send a card to someone else. I had thought at the time they were inadequate and probably unnoticed until I was going through it myself. Now I realize how important they are.

Don't be too hard on your friends and co-workers. One day they'll likely feel remorseful, as I do.

Gosh, these posts make me realize how much I love
He does none of what has been talked about here. I am blessed beyond measure...
What's funny is that for a long time I did not realize it was all abuse (sm)
I knew the physical part was abuse. Other than that I thought he was a jerk, quirky ideas about things, a hard-nose, hard-headed, rude...but I never realized it was all abuse until I finally started reading up on it. Apparently in these situations we start to accept things little by little as being normal. Like slowly boiling before you realize you're done.
I didn't say her decor didn't sound great.
It's not ridiculous.

I would seriously doubt the Christianity of anyone who feels it is okay to celebrate Halloween. It is anti-God in every aspect.

You can only service 1 God and the folly of man and carnality is in direct conflict with holiness.


Maybe the teacher doesn't realize his boyfriend and not dad? I would inform her immediately! sm
Does your boyfriend live there? Have you been together a long time? If not, he is way overstepping his bounds and I would immediately put a stop to it.
I didn't phrase that well. I didn't mean to SM
offend. I think I said that to other lady below!

I wouldn't want to be told that myself. I guess you sounded down. Again, if I offended anyone, I'm sorry.

I'm a channel surfer. Last night watched PBS documentary on Kennedy assasination, then PBS show on Dick Cheney. Yuck. Then watched show on stem cell research to cure paralysis. There were two young woman, both with paralysis, who were so inspiring. Watched another segment on Current about blind people using their voices to "see". That had to be seen to be believed. Anyway, positives offset the negative.

Again, sorry if I said anything out of line.
you have to realize too that a private schools also get those who are kicked out of public schools t
have a friend who is a teacher at private school who passed along this info so don't flame me,LOL.
I didn't say she should sue them. I said that
her sister legally is obligated to pay for it. Me, I would have probably told her I was unhappy with her, learned my lesson and would have moved on.

If I was the sister though, I would have admitted my fault, at least partial fault, and made amends.
Yep, I didn't know that either. Thanks. :) NM
NM
I really didn't know all of this.
thanks
She didn't come with us.

NM


It must be because I didn't owe very much
I had my husband take extra out of his check every year and most of the time it's enough to cover mine too. Last year I owed under $100 as I made more than I planned. I am an IC and use my SS#. I don't remember how much you have to owe for the fine/quarterly taxes either, like Patti stated.
well thank you! I didn't know being in --sm
the 50 year age bracket was young, but I appreciate the comment! Maybe in 20 years I will be able to retire.
I can't believe the mom didn't take him to the ER...
Wow.
No, I didn't know that...but (sm)
I don't have Soapnet...so!  But thanks for the update...
Do you know for SURE he didn't
make an effort to see you all these years?

My friend of 30+ was told by HER mother that her father was dead. Come to find out when she is her 20's he's not only alive and well, he's happy to meet her.

It's always a good thing to take what ANYone tells you with a large grain of salt.

As to how to approach him? I would find out where he works and send a letter there - that way it can't be intercepted by his wife. Alternatively, you could call him on the phone, but that option does not allow him time to absorb the news he's been "found" by you.

Provide all your contact information and ask him to at least meet/talk to you once. I would be very surprised if he does not grant your request.
I didn't know that!
nm
no, I didn't mean all that *lol* - but your one

you said:  Why don't we all learn Mandarin?


-----------------


you don't know HOW astute a statement/question that is!!!  We all will have to know Chinese/Mandarin within the next 25 years or thereabouts....as China slowly takes it ALL over.....the world, that is...don't laugh or think I'm talking out of left field.... - Miami and Broward now offer Chinese and Mandarin classes in college.........the past few years....and then there are those subliminal fortune cookies...teaching us the Chinese or Cantonese alphabet......*ROFL*....but I'[m not really laughing.........


My Hispanic friends in Miami are speaking better English year by year, the longer they are here.....I stay out of the areas where they ONLY speak Spanish.....I'd be lost, as I only speak Spanglish.......Franglish, et al.


Yes, while in foreign countries, we speak their language and they all should be speaking English here but we cannot force it, unfortunately....hence, I learned some Spanish over the past decade and utilize it with English; hence=Spanglish.......*laughs* I think folks need to lighten up about language - we are all the same - we really are - just the amount of melanin in our skin or the slant of our eyes.....we all believe in the same G_d I do believe no matter what the name for G_d is......we all hurt, bleed, and die....it's all RED BLOOD....*grins*


Again, Tolerance........


HAPPY JULY 4TH :)


 


Of course, and I didn't even say that...
Just saying that not loving animals does not make one a bad person, simply put. I do not agree with the abuse of any living thing...animal or person, but people sure are more passionate about animal abuse than they are about child abuse...can I get an amen???
Can you believe I didn't get to see it!!

Work was backed up so I was doing extra, darn it!  I bet it was a great show though.  I hate these insurance companies refusing to pay for procedures, especially when someone's life depends on it.  What mess.  Something has to change, for sure.