dating, marriage & dogs
Posted By: dawn on 2009-06-19
In Reply to: Dating sympathy (from married person) - Pugmom
rule #1
when you swear off men, you automatically will find the love of your life!
rule #2
marry a nerd - they are just as hot as a cowboys when the glasses come off, plus you get the added excitement of knowing your bills will be paid on time...
rule #3
there is no greater love than that of a dog who can't bear to be without you while you are in the potty. Life is short and we need all the joy we can get - Leave the bathroom door open for the little buggers!!!
AND RULE #4
get down on your knees every night and give the Lord thanks for your crazy, sweet life whether single, married, or stepping over dogs to get out of the powder room.
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...and dating leads to...? She does not say she is not contemplating marriage. sm
In fact, I got quite the opposite impression.
Look, all I'm saying is that we have an awful lot of situations like this that turn into tragedies, when it didn't have to happen. This is a world in which we must ask ourselves the hard questions and take reasonable precautions to protect ourselves.
It's really hard for me to see how this is something that shouldn't be said, even if you and the OP don't happen to like it.
Shelties or Australian Sheep Dogs are great family dogs. rm
a
These dogs appear to be puppy mill producing dogs.
The two females, which I thought were older, appear to be just worn out/depleted. Their teeth are those of a 3-5 year old dog. So, I do believe they have had litters each cycle and are suffering from malnourishment.
Funny thing, yesterday, they were covered with mud (it rained and they were digging) and this morning, I look out and see they have all been grooming as they are clean.
Called Love of Animals who has committed to spaying/neutering the animals, giving them their shots, flea repellant and showing them at Pets Mart on Sundays. In a few months, there will be a regional dog show at the local college where on average 150 dogs are adopted out and she asked that I keep them until then.
Which I will...And a girl saw the ad for the Lost Pets and is looking for a replacement for her Shi Tzu she lost a year ago and will come by tomorrow morning.
I have my dogs on it, and yes all my past dogs but 2 have died -sm
from cancer. But I had 2 schipperkes on Frontline for years and one died at 13 from cancer, the other at 16 just from old age/kidney failure. My last husky was 8 when she died from cancer, but I have had one die at 2 (unknown causes), and another at 9.5 from liver cancer (she actually made a nice recovery but succumbed about 6 months later), but huskies don't tend to live past 10 unfortunately. I have had purebreeds and mutts, and with or w/o Frontline/Advantage they have all died from cancer. I suppose it is possible that it causes it, but if you live long enough, cancer will most likely be your cause of death, anything and everything causes cancer anymore. I hate fleas and ticks and we have lots of them, so the dogs get the Frontline except in the cold winter months. They are 6 and 3 and both doing quite well.
And dogs don't bite right? Love my dogs but I
nm
my dogs are basically indoor dogs sm
but have a doggie door to go in and out as they please. Sometimes our Jack Russell gets excited and barks inside the house. My DH grabs is belt and snaps it and the loud noise shuts her up right away. I am not trying to frighten our dog, but many times just saying knock it off doesn't work.
Dating
I am married and have been for years, so I don't have much insight into dating anymore, but I would be leary of dating at work, just because if it does not work out, it could be uncomfortable, but other than that aspect of it, have fun and don't be shy. 
dating
What bothers me is that you say you recently came out of a long marriage/relationship. I speak from experience when I say it is NOT wise to jump right into something else - take time for yourself and your kids for awhile. JMO
She is dating him.....
not marrying him.
Online dating... Have you tried it?
I'm thinking about trying this. What are your experiences? Which ones are the best dating sites? Thanks!
Online dating
Yes, found my husband on Match.Com, dated two years and have been married for 1 1/2 years now. I was very lucky to have found a good honest man. We are in our sixties.
The dating game.
I hate it and that's why I continue to be single and loving it. Knowing the simplistic mind and approach of men to relationships, think of it this way (just to put it bluntly). They are like boys with new toys. If they play too much with the toy, sooner or later, they will set it aside and forget about it. As far as "games," yes dating is a game, a "cat and mouse" game. The cat enjoys inmensely chasing after the mouse. You have to "dangle the catnip" for the cat and let him work for it. If the mouse does the chasing, then it is not fun for the cat. Many men have the same thing in mind while dating "hit and run" (if you know what I mean), as in "why buy the cow, when you have tasted the milk." You have to let him do the chasing. When a woman goes too much after a man, he just sits in his all mighty throne knowing that he doesn't have to do anything, but wait for you to come to him to tell him how much you need him. If he really has any real true intentions, he will call you or write to you wondering what you have been up to. There is nothing worse for a man that not to know what a woman is thinking. 
When my hubby and I were dating we
went to a Halloween party and he spent the entire afternoon before the party dipping his hand in wax so it would have layer after layer of wax and look like a dead hand. Then he put on an oversized overcoat, wrapped his head in ACE bandage and wore sunglasses and a hat and really huge moon boots...(this was in the 80's mind you). Then when he got to the party he realized that he forgot to leave a hole open for his mouth so we had to cut one out so he could breathe, eat and talk. It was hilarious. No one knew who he was. It was funny....
Believe it or not a Dating Service
I was sick of meeting losers so I decided to take the chance. We were engaged after three months and married nine months later and will be married for 17 years in September. The first time he introduced me to his friends a week or so later, they told him we were going to get married.
Dating Service
I was tired of not being able to meet anyone. I actually got matched with a lot of great guys, but no one struck me as "the one" until I met my now husband. We talked for about 5 hours at the restaurant our first date and saw each other every day after that. We were engaged after a month and got married a year later. Now almost 18 years late we have to great daughters 15 and 5.
cougar dating
http://www.futurescopes.com/age-gap-dating/681/cougar-dating-tips-older-women-dating-younger-men
Met through a dating service
I was sick of not being able to find anyone decent. I say it was fate, because he said he hated answering machines so when he called me the first time, and I wasn't home, he could have said forget it, but he decided to give me one more call and I was home that time. If he gave up the first time I never would have met him. We dated for one month, got engaged and married a year later. It will be 18 years this September.
Dating's easier said that done
I miss dating. For me, there's a satisfaction or companionship that I get from a male partner that I don't get from work or family. Unfortunately, living where I do and working like I do, I'm not really coming across a lot of available ones. With my children's blessing, I've done internet dating, but the last couple of times have turned out very very badly. There aren't a lot of social venues where I am so I'm out of luck there. The one guy I dated told me that a single employed 'mature' woman, I was a bit of a commodity as there has been an exodus out of the rural areas, but that has not translated into my dance card being filled. Oh, well. I probably shouldn't let myself be distracted from work anyway. But, gosh, I miss a deep male voice asking me how I'm doing.
single-parent dating (sm)
I'm not sure that the length of time you have been dating is really relevant as other posters mentioned. If you feel you need to have the relationship defined, it should be and when it is, you need to decide what to do next.
It is SO hard to date when you have a child, especially a daughter that you want to raise with good morals and self esteem. In order to build a good relationship and be sure the guy likes your kid, you have to invest time and expose the child(ren) to him. If he's not *the one* then you have to repeat the process, thereby exposing you kids to men, attachments, and as far as I'm concerned, confusion on the part of the kids.
I came to this conclusion shortly after my ex and I split when my daughter was 5. I dated one guy, we broke up, and didn't date again until she was out of high school.
I also identified with a line in Jerry MacGuire; words to the effect that spending time with my kid was more fun and fulfilling than any frog or potential prince.
It's my opinion and only my opinion that we had our lives, made our decisions, had our fun, made our mistakes, brought kids into the world and they should be our focus. It's hard to focus and give full attention to a child when there is guy anxiety.
I know many have done it and have been extremely successful with merging families and doing the step-dad/mom thing. I just didn't think it was fair to gamble with my child's future... things don't always happen in real life like they do in movies...
All of this was probably of no help, but I sincerely think you do need to stop and think what is going to give you peace of mind, not necessarily happiness or instant gratification, and know that whatever does give you peace of mind will benefit your child.
Good luck, sweetie! :-)
Interracial dating views
Do you think most people still have a bad opinion of interracial dating and should that matter anyway?
I'm dating a man 18 years older. If you like him, go for it! :)
x
try specialty dating websites
I met my husband 4 years ago through an online dating site that catered to people of our religion. I think these specialty dating sites where you already have something in common have a higher success rate. You can find sites for pet lovers or cowboys... lots of different ones out there.
More info? Do you mean for a couple who is dating or?? (sm)
not sure what situation you mean?
dating someone with kids is hard
Bottom line is he SHOULD put her first, because if he didn't what kind of man would he be? My point to you is that although I understand COMPLETELY how you feel... it's just not always justified. I couldn't deal with my situation with kids so I left it. I respect him as a man for being a great dad, but having broken homes and split families is sometimes very difficult, as atested to the way the daughter acts towards you. You have to realize this is the way it's gonna be... deal with it or leave... (im not trying to say it is easy or anything... just facts you know?)
Interesting dating "survey"
Would you ever date/marry.....
someone who is less educated than yourself?
YES, DID SO, HE HAS A 2-YEAR TECHNICAL DEGREE, I HAVE A 4-YEAR BA that I NEVER DID ANYTHING WITH UNFORTUNATELY. ACTUALLY I ONLY EVER DATED 1 GUY I THINK WITH A COLLEGE DEGREE AND HE ENDED UP BEING A REAL WEINIE, DID THE CLASSIC DUMP OF JUST STOPPING CALLING AFTER 3 MONTHS OF DATING FOR WHICH I DID TAKE HIM TO TASK FOR, WHAT A JERK. I WAS 21 HE WAS 25 OR SO.
someone of a different race?
PROBABLY NOT.
someone whose parent's are divorced?
YES, WHY WOULD THAT MATTER?
someone who has bad credit or alot of bad debt?
NO.
who is overweight or obese?
NO.
someone who affliates or supports a different political party than yourself?
YES, AS LONG AS YOU AGREE TO DISAGREE DON'T SEE THAT AS AN ISSUE UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY WORK IN POLITICS.
someone who is rude to customer service staff?
NO, IF THEY ARE RUDE TO STAFF THEN HE/SHE WILL BE JUST AS RUDE TO YOU.
someone who talks a longtime on their cell phone when you are eating?
NO, WOULD NOT ESPECIALLY THRILL ME UNLESS IT IS SOMEONE THAT THEY HAVE NOT TALKED TO IN YEARS, IT WOULD HAVE TO BE THE EXCEPTION, NOT THE RULE.
someone who enjoys a different genre of music?
YES. CAN BE ENLIGHTENING LEARNING DIFFERENT MUSIC.
someone who does not enjoy the same leisure activities as yourself?
YES, BUT THEN AGAIN THEY WOULD NEED TO AT LEAST TRY IT, AND YOU TRY WHATEVER IT IS THEY LIKE TO DO, BE IT BOWLING OR BINGO.
someone who is a very picky eater or someone who is a vegeterian/vegan and you are not?
NO, THAT WOULD BE TO AGGRAVATING.
someone who prefers to spend leisure time alone or with friends (without you)?
NO, THAT IS JUST CHILDISH, HAVE TO BE ABLE TO BALANCE THE TWO, OR ADD YOU TO THE "GROUP". EVERYONE NEEDS A NIGHT AWAY NOW AND THEN BUT NOT ALL THE TIME. WHAT IS THE POINT IN BEING TOGETHER THEN?
I was dating one of his good friends...sm
dumped the friend for DH and never looked back. That was 24 years ago.
I may be dating myself but it was David Cassidy!
xxx
Single MTs - every just get sick of dating? sm
I have not been single that long - I am 41 and first and foremost a mom to my kids. I have been dating some though...and have found people to be so unreliable. Last week I told off two people for their unreliability and now my phone is oh-so-quiet. I can't decide if I want my phone to be quiet or if I want the aggravation. Right now I am voting for quiet. What is up with people these days that they just make flippant plans and then blow them off? It is my pet peeve to reserve my time for someone and have them cancel for some flip reason and then want to reschedule. We all have things that happen, but I get lunch plans cancelled because, "Oh, sorry, I overslept and didn't get ready in time - can we meet for dinner instead?" Does this happen to everyone or am I just not worthy of someone at least trying to keep their plans with me?
Dating? What's that? It's been so long I forgot.
Single, twice divorced, no kids, older than you (fifty-umph), and frankly, I'd rather be alone and gaze at my own navel than deal with the kind of stuff you talk about. Been there, done that, own the T-shirt franchise....
In my not-so-humble opinion, it's a function of society at large these days; has nothing whatsoever to do with you. My best friend and I have been observing for years that it's getting harder and harder to find people whose word is good. If their word is no good on the small stuff (lunch), then it's not going to be good on the bigger stuff. Trust me, you do NOT need THAT level of aggravation.
So see what you can do to learn to be your own best friend and company, and otherwise, cultivate the kind of people whose word is good. They may just introduce you to other people whose word is good.
And that's just my own take on the subject. Others' mileage may vary. :)
Dating? I'd rather have a root canal. -(nm)-
I personally know a guy who does that online dating stuff
He is seeing one girl seriously (or so she thinks) that lives in another state. Every chance he gets, he meets up with other local women. Bottom line is he is having sex with all of them. Friend of my husband. Isn't that nice? So...my advice, if he's still looking, you're not *the one*. Sorry but that's my opinion.
Dating question-have things changed? (sm)
Hi - I am fairly recently divorced and have been dating a man for about 5 months. We get along very well and he is very kind to me, very complimentary, we have a great time together, he tells me he loves me...but one thing is odd to me and I am not sure if it is just his personality or if things are this much different from when I dated 15 years ago before my marriage. We communicate by phone, text and e-mail, but I almost always have to initiate the conversations. He always calls, texts or e-mails me back and is happy to hear from me, has long conversations with me and says wonderful things, and is happy to get together to see each other. But unless I wait 2 or 3 days to hear from him first (which is hard for me!) he never initiates the conversations. Have I just set it up this way and now it continues that way? Does he not really like me as much as he says? We talk almost every day, and when I have asked if I am contacting him too much he says, "No! I love hearing from you. I love looking on my phone and seeing a text from you! You're not calling too much at all." So why doesn't he ever take the initiative? I mean, he is kind of shy, but we've known each other 5 months now! I've never been an aggressive type, so I guess I'm confused. Thanks for any opinions!
Said the woman who is dating an indicted felon!
Natalie Cole has a lot of nerve talking trash about other people when she herself is involved in a relationship with a con man who is currently under four felony indictments!
 
Just back into the dating scene - question (sm)
I have recently gotten back into the dating scene and met a nice guy (online) who lives locally. We have emailed back and forth and he is very nice to talk to. But when I met him recently I realized there was no attraction - at all. But he really likes me. Would it be better for me to just say right now that I am not interested or should I keep talking to him and gradually slow down how much I talk to him? Can I tell him I just want to be friends? I feel like a teenager again! I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Dating sympathy (from married person)
I would hate to go back to dating. I've been married 18 years but I do remember what single life and dating were like.
The majority of them were creeps for one reason or another (especially the one going to law school - I got my first clue when I saw a sticker inside his car - his last name is also an occupation and the sticker said _________ know all the right strokes). (eye roll)
I mentioned in another post that I had moved into an apt. with my boyfriend of about a year, and 3 weeks later, he left me for his ex-wife.
At that point, I swore off of men. I figured I'd just live in the same apartment and go to work at the hospital 5 days a week for the rest of my life. That's when my husband walked into my life.
I had first met him in 1985 when, after graduating high school, I went to work at McDonald's. He was a swing manager, 2 years older and so darned handsome. We dated for quite awhile but it wasn't exclusive. He then joined the navy and got married. Three years later, his ex told him she needed to get a life and filed for divorce.
About 3 months prior to this, I swore off men for good. Then, one day, I was working a Saturday at the hospital (I think it was to make up for the day I missed when I had a diagnostic laparoscopy - yeah, it was stupid going back to work the day after you have surgery). I got a phone call from my mom, asking me if I remembered such and such. My husband's sister had called my parents' house but my mom didn't want to give out info, so she called and gave the info to me. I called his sister and we gabbed. I told her I remembered her and definitely remembered him. She asked me to meet her and her boyfriend at a bar along with my (future) husband. Well, I said "what the heck". I agreed to go.
Now, this is 3 days status post a laparoscopy and they weren't as good about getting the CO2 out back in 1990 as they are today and that day, I had gas so bad, I probably could have filled up my gas tank 3 times over. I spent almost the entire date squeezing my cheeks together (thankfully we weren't dancing or doing other physical things - LOL). I still had a really good time but was relieved when I left his house. I lived about 10 minutes away and I swear, I must have passed gas the entire ride home.
He knows all about it now. Heck, I can't remember the last time I even closed the door to the bathroom. We have no kids and if I do close the door, all 3 pugs sit outside and scratch the door, whine and cry. I gave up. I'm sometimes even "lucky" enough to have one of them on my lap while I'm going.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is love/good relationships seem to come when you least expect them. When I pursued dating or had someone fix me up, or met a guy in a bar or whatever, it never ended well. Nowadays, how do you know if you're supposed to pay half for the date?
Like I said, I feel for you guys. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow, I think I'd remain single the rest of my life.
Good luck to all of you and God bless!
How do you feel about older women dating younger men (sm)
As in, he is 9 years younger (29). Have never done this before but we really get along well.
If he wasn't like that while you were dating, he ain't gonna change now. Maybe some couples th
s
Talk about dating yourself? I remember selling them for 0.75 cents! (nm)
xm
I personally know 4 people who met and married via dating websites - sm
I was shocked at first when a good friend of mine in her 30s said she had met the most fantastic man on eharmony and was VERY skeptical, but I met him and he is very nice. They have been married 6 years now and baby 2 is on the way. Two of my husband's friends from work met women this way and both are now happily married from what we can tell. Lastly, my husbands 47yo cousin has met a man she is very serious about. They are flying back and forth from CA to NY every few weeks to spend time together. Maybe it does not work for everyone and there probably are some real losers there too, but I have seen firsthand that it can work. Just something to think about. Best wishes whatever route you take! 
Sounds good! I can tell you that these dating sites do not work. I have never seen so many needy
men on them. I wont meet anyone without talking to them first by phone and believe me when I tell you they all have their stories as to why they are broke, why they have been married 5 times, why they are still raising kids at 60 years old, etc. What you suggested sounds good. I have a few lifelong male friends that I usually always go places with so I never really had an opportunity to meet other new people when I go out and about so I plan to start doing more things on my own. I really dont mind doing that. It may be fun actually. Appreciate all your ideas!
When I realized while dating what lousy taste he had, I started buying my own gifts. Been doing it
s
That would definitely not be enough for me to consider it a marriage. sm
why do you all think you need some obviously lame guy to complete you? Is it just youth and hormones?
marriage
You are so fortunate. In this day and age, everyone is all about "me". My husband has no CLUE what it means to "work as a team." He simply cannot grasp it at all. He does what he wants to, when he wants to and how he wants to, whenever he wants to. If I ask too many questions he gets angry at me. I am now figuring out 15 years later that I made a pretty big mistake by marrying him. However, we have three beautiful children, and the one thing we do agree on is that they need both parents to raise them. My husband would argue the color of the sky if he was in the mood. He is contrary simply to be contrary. I give up. He gives me the information he thinks I need to have. I don't ask him for anything anymore because he absolutely will not do it (help with getting everything done, i.e., housework, paying bills, makign phone calls, etc.). All of the concerns I had before we got married (which I did bring up to him) have come true. I should have known it. People just DO NOT know how to work together anymore.
marriage
I think we are raising our sons to be "mama's boys" and not be the proper leaders they need to be. Plus, in this day and age of no boundaries, children have no guidance and absolutely no direction. My husband does not have a plan from one minute to the next. It is absolutely crazy. he cannot set a goal and reach it if his life depended on it. We just wait to see what he is going to do next. I honestly never know what he is going to come up with. He absolutely adores his children, and they feel the same. I have seen what divorce does to the children, I will not do that to mine. But sometimes, I just want to scream. Thanks for allowing me to vent. I have asked him to go to counseling, but he doesn't see a need (he has everything he needs). I will teach my children what to look for in a mate and the warning signs. Hopefully they won't have the trouble that I have had.
Marriage
Marriage is a relationship that you have to take care of each other first and always. He should always think about what makes you happy and you the same. You both should be covered at all times. There needs to be ongoing communication so you both can determine what makes things work for you. Most marriages fail because people don't want to talk and would rather "mind read" or assume. You know what they say about assume. You should always treat your spouse like he/or she is the most important person in the world and is first in your life. If you have someone that takes advantage of that and does not appreciate it, then that is not the one for you. Ignorance and immaturity takes kindness for weakness. A mature man or woman knows that that is how they should be treated and how they should treat their mate.
Second marriage
I'm planning to get married for the second time. My last marriage was 17 years ago and I've been on my own with my 14 y.o. son for almost 10 years. For my last wedding I dotted all the I's and crossed all the T's but I was so exhausted I didn't even enjoy the wedding. I think I have a mental block for wedding planning now because I never really thought I'd be doing it again. However, I have zero doubt that I want to be with this man. We both just want to be together and can't decide whether to just go on a trip and get married or have something small with our families and a few close friends. We think it would be nice to have our immediate families help us start our marriage off but I can't seem to make myself think about planning things and picking things out. Mainly I'd just like to wear a pretty dress (not necessarily even a wedding dress and definitely not an elaborate one). It seems if you start planning to have one thing it calls for another. I've looked at some of the wedding checklists and it makes my head hurt to think about picking out cakes, etc. I don't want anything tacky but I don't want to spend a lot of time on details. Any ideas? Also, what are your thoughts on giving your future husband a wedding gift. A do or not? Thanks so much for any advice you have to offer. I don't think we are going to wait long at all so I won't have much time to plan a lot anyway, which suits me just fine.
Second marriage
I live in Eastern North Carolina. There seems to be a lot of placed in Tennessee that look pretty romantic too. I'm browsing through those now.
Second marriage
Lots of great ideas. Thanks so much. I really like the iPod idea.
I think she needs to get out of the marriage - NOW!! (sm)
That could end up being a dangerous situation as well. I have had female friends from this type of cultural background who had to go into hiding from their own brothers to keep from being beaten to death for the crime of dating a white man. She really needs to get out now before they have children.
What is there to think about? Marriage...
is taking a vow.
vow
verb [T]
to make a determined decision or promise to do something, which includes not sleeping with other women and no cheating WHATSOEVER. He broke the Vow.
Marriage is a vow.
Of course I understand that marriage is a vow. Marriage is also a commitment. Problems that seem insurmountable sometimes are not, given time.
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